Category: RIP

Burt Reynolds Has Died

September 6, 2018 / Posted by:

This is devastating news for anyone who ever had a thing for dark-and-handsome 1970’s hunks with thick mustaches and even thicker chest hair. UsWeekly is reporting that Burt Reynolds has died at the age of 82 after going into cardiac arrest at a hospital in Florida. His family was by his side at the time of his passing.

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As Expected, Aretha Franklin’s Funeral Was A Star-Studded Musical Extravaganza

August 31, 2018 / Posted by:

After two days of public viewing (featuring a costume change and a gold casket, no less), today was the day everyone gathered and honored the life of the Queen of Soul at her funeral. But of course a legendary diva like Aretha didn’t go out with a couple eulogies and pastor-led rendition of “Amazing Grace” before a lunch of sandwiches in the church hall. That gold casket should have been your first and only clue needed to know Aretha would absolutely going out like a legend in an all-day, star-packed memorial service.

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Robin Leach Has Died

August 24, 2018 / Posted by:

The Las Vegas Review-Journal brings us the sad news that extremely charming Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach has died at the age of 76. This is also terribly sad news for Saint Peter, who was most likely demoted from his position as the gatekeeper of Heaven and replaced with Robin the second he arrived. Because who better to announce one’s arrival in the ultimate paradise than Robin Leach?

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Costco Nixed The Polish Hot Dog To Try To Be “Healthier”

July 11, 2018 / Posted by:

When you’re a bargain bitch like me, the Holy Grail is the big box behemoth known as Costco. You can usually find me (and Miss Tina Knowles) spending Saturdays pretending to peruse the aisles of 108-count toilet paper, power tools, and lawn furniture as I steadily make my way to the back just in time to hit up snacking primetime: the afternoon glut of free samples. Nothing makes an afternoon right like an array of vendors hawking free fruit snacks, smoked salmon, and orange juice (anyone wanna make out?) than washing it all down with the cheap treats at the Costco Café.

For less than $2, you can munch on a polish sausage and a soft drink the size of an oil drum before throwing it all away and heading back into the light with no evidence remaining of your hidden little secret. At least, that’s what I used to be able to do: the powers-at-be at Costco are now out to murder a fun weekend by getting rid of the Eastern European meat and go healthy, and even the CEO doesn’t sound pleased by it! Continue reading

Anthony Bourdain Has Died Of An Apparent Suicide

June 8, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s really been an awful week. We started it with the sad news of Kate Spade’s suicide, and now we’re ending it with the extremely shocking news that culinary legend Anthony Bourdain has been found dead of what reports are describing as a suicide.

CNN says Anthony was in France filming the latest season of his Emmy and Peabody Award-winning television show Parts Unknown. He was reportedly found unresponsive in his hotel room by his good friend, French chef Eric Ripert. He was 61 years old.

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Barbara Bush Has Died

April 17, 2018 / Posted by:

On Sunday, the 41st First Lady of the United States Barbara Bush let her doctors know that she was done with being in the hospital, where she was being treated for COPD and congestive heart failure, and wanted to be at home when she went off to the afterworld. Today, Barbara died at her home in Houston, TX while surrounded by her gigantic family (17 grandchildren!!!). She was 92. The Bush family released this statement:

“A former First Lady of the United States of America and relentless proponent of family literacy, Barbara Pierce Bush passed away Tuesday, April 17, 2018 at the age of 92. She is survived by her husband of 73 years, President George H.W. Bush; five children and their spouses; 17 grandchildren; seven great grandchildren; and her brother, Scott Pierce. She was preceded in death by her second child, Pauline Robinson ‘Robin’ Bush, and her siblings Martha Rafferty and James R. Pierce.

The official funeral schedule will be announced as soon as is practical.”

Barbara Bush was the SLOTUS (Second Lady of the United States) during the Reagan years and  FLOTUS from 1989 to 1993. She was FMOTUS (First Mother of the United States, which really doesn’t work) when George W. Bush was president from 2001 to 2009. And she could’ve been FMOTUS again if her other son Jeb Bush won in 2016.

And there’s a chance Barbara Bush died the same way I want to die: with a cup of the sweet nectar in hand.




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