There are some things we just know are going to stay on this earth forever, like silica packets, those little white tables that save a pizza from getting smushed in a box, Betty White, and up until this morning, Karl Lagerfeld. I can’t be the only one who thought that long after we all turn to dust, Karl will sashay across the land, slightly dropping his signature sunglasses, only to judge the hideous and drab post-apocalyptic landscape before him. But we were all wrong, because Karl died today in Paris at 85.
TMZ is reporting a huge heaping of sad this morning: star of the eternally ridiculous yet somehow always elegant Young & The Restless, Kristoff St. John was found dead at his home yesterday.
Here lies Louis C.K. The once popular, rich, and creatively fulfilled comedian’s career can finally be put to rest (God willing). He is survived by his children who probably already hate him, and possibly, Sarah Silverman. He leaves behind a tarnished legacy primarily comprised of hack masturbation jokes and 2 million unboxed DVDs of I Love You, Daddy moldering away in a some storage shed in Queens. Services are being held on Twitter.
The cause of death was leaked audio of a comedy set Louis did on December 16th that proved he is still the spiteful, petulant, narcissist hack he always was. Because Louis, a grown man, has had his feelings hurt, he’s taking it out on the children who survived the Parkland shooting, and young people who dare ask people to address them using their correct pronouns. Yes, it was a questionable choice of material. But worst of all, none of it was funny in the least.
While filming a music video for his song “The Man” featuring Riff Raff, Canadian rapper Jon James plunged to his death while wing walking on a Cessna that was in flight. According to CNN, Jon wasn’t your average indoors type of Canadian rapper (I’m looking at you, Drake), Jon used to be a professional skier and apparently trained for months in preparation for the stunt. Jon turned to music after a number of skiing injuries, including a broken back and a shattered heel, ended his skiing career.
This is devastating news for anyone who ever had a thing for dark-and-handsome 1970’s hunks with thick mustaches and even thicker chest hair. UsWeekly is reporting that Burt Reynolds has died at the age of 82 after going into cardiac arrest at a hospital in Florida. His family was by his side at the time of his passing.
After two days of public viewing (featuring a costume change and a gold casket, no less), today was the day everyone gathered and honored the life of the Queen of Soul at her funeral. But of course a legendary diva like Aretha didn’t go out with a couple eulogies and pastor-led rendition of “Amazing Grace” before a lunch of sandwiches in the church hall. That gold casket should have been your first and only clue needed to know Aretha would absolutely going out like a legend in an all-day, star-packed memorial service.