Everyone in Canada used to get excited at the thought of Rihanna becoming their Puma-clad first lady when she and Drake were maybe/maybe not boning each other. The “awwww” meter for some blew up in 2016 when he presented her with the MTV VMA Video Vanguard award and gushed how he had been in love with her and even went in for a kiss. Apparently, the only meter that went off for RiRi “boy better shut his damn mouth” because she says she’s no longer friends with Wheelchair Jimmy. Continue reading
If you think the world needs more Rihanna movies, you need your head checked. But you’re also in for a not-that-bad trailer for Ocean’s 8. The trailer gives further details on how the lady Oceans will be robbing RiRi’s favorite spot to rule: the Met Gala!
As you know from the first trailer, Sandra Bullock is supposed to be Debbie Ocean, the sister to George Clooney’s Danny Ocean from the original trio of films. While we don’t see George, we do see that Anne Hathaway is supposed to be some high-falutin’ actress who goes to the Met to hobnob and wear diamonds that the Debbie-led gals try to snatch. Since they’re all later seen on the subway together, I think it might be safe to assume Anne is in on the heist…or they just took a break from larceny to show her Times Square. The new trailer reveals each member of the heist is promised $16.5 million if they take part in the jewelry theft at Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite night of the year.
Cate Blanchett is on hand to show more of that mop wig and Party City leopard print coat. Rihanna is supposed to be the tech wiz of the whole operation, and Helena Bonham Carter should get at least $20 million for wearing a busted Marie Antoinette wig to a fictional version of Anna Wintour’s Death Star of a night in May.
Speaking of Anna Wintour, I really hope there’s a plot twist and it’s revealed that she’s the ringleader of the whole thing. I smell a sequel!
Apparently, the Taster’s Choice of shallow social media antics likes to keep their employees guessing about when their last check is coming. It was bad enough when Snapchat decided to post an ad that gives you the option of either slapping Rihanna or punching Chris Brown (always punch Chris, by the way). But now their cash flow is bleeding profusely after Rihanna fixed her trademarked death glare at them and said “You look so dumb right now.”
Snapchat isn’t having such a great 2018. The queen of their target market (vapid millennials) might have sank their stock with a single tweet. And now they’re taking heat for an ad that they ran featuring a joke about slapping Rihanna, that also just so happened to co-star a joke about Chris Brown.
A few days ago, Chris Brown hopped on Twitter and said that he wants to go on a world tour with Beyonce, Bruno Mars, and Rihanna. The same Rihanna he violently assaulted almost exactly nine years ago. I’m starting to think that before Chris Brown’s monkey was taken into custody, she pooped in his food and gave him a case of the Motaba virus. Because that’s the kind of stupid thing you type when your brain is melting.
The vaginas are coming! The vaginas are coming! The trailer for the long awaited (ok, sustained indifferenced) Ocean’s 8 is here and it’s got more vaginas than a Amazonian gynecology conference! As expected, it stars Sandra Bullock as the titular Ocean (1) and includes Cate Blanchett as some kind of badass (2), Mindy Kaling as some kind of jeweler (3), Rihanna as some kind of hacker (4), Helena Bonham Carter as Helena Bonham Carter (5), Sarah Paulson as a suburban mom with a criminal past (6), Awkwafina as a street grifter (don’t ask me I have no idea who she is either, 7) and that’s only 7 so what the fuck? Yes, Anne Hathaway is in it but she appears to be the target so I’m confused.