Earlier this summer, Rebel Wilson decided to fight Bauer Media, the publisher of Woman’s Day, who published an exposé about her pre-fame life. Rebel sued for defamation and general life-ruining, claiming that she lost big Hollywood roles after Woman’s Day dragged her into a scandal about her real age and name, calling her a “serial liar.” She ended up winning the lawsuit.
Rebel said at the time that she wasn’t doing it for the damages, which is fine, but come on, who doesn’t like money? As it turns out, she will get serious cash out of it.
It kind of makes you wish Audrey II existed. Some well-meaning waiter could hide him near the bathrooms at whatever trendy restaurant childhood-slaughtering film executives are currently dining. That’s when they get devoured before pulling this shit! Warner Bros. is remaking Little Shop of Horrors, and ThatHashTagShow.com claims that they’re looking to cast Rebel Wilson and Josh Gad. Brace yourself for Gremlins 2019 with Ariana Grande and some breakout YouTube fool.
Rebel Wilson’s legal fight against Bauer Media over her true identity started two years ago when a former classmate of hers gave the Australian tabloid Woman’s Day yearbook proof that she had lied about her name, age, and created a colorful autobiography about growing up “bogan.” Rebel sued Bauer Media, the publisher of Woman’s Day, for defamation and claimed she had lost work after Hollywood found out she was actually 37 and not in her late 20s. The Guardian says an Australian jury agreed that Rebel’s career got screwed over, and a judge ruled in favor of Rebel today.
Two years ago, a former classmate of Rebel Wilson’s from Australia exposed her alleged creative re-writing of her life by giving receipts to the tabloid Woman’s Day. Rebel claimed at the time that she was 29 years old, but it turned out she was really more like 36, and that her real name was actually Melanie Elizabeth Bownds. Rebel had also apparently given herself a new backstory when she got to Hollywood. Rebel allegedly told tales of being a trashy chick with siblings named Ryot, Liberty, and Annachi. That classmate says Rebel was actually raised in an upper middle class family.
Famous people lie about their age and change their name all the time, but apparently it hasn’t been so good for Rebel’s career. She sued the publisher Bauer Media for career-killing defamation and they’re currently fighting it out in court.
In August, The Hollywood Reporter said that MGM is doing a gender-flip remake of 1988’s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels starring Rebel Wilson. And now The Hollywood Reporter says that Anne Hathaway is joining Rebel.
The original starred Steve Martin and Michael Caine as two con men trying to swindle an American heiress out of $500,000. Nasty Women, which is what this remake is called, will star Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson. Anne and Rebel will play two women “from different walks of life” who team up to con a tech prodigy out of his money. Rebel Wilson is also a producer on it.
The first Dirty Rotten Scoundrels had a real slobs vs. snobs dynamic, so I’m taking that “different walks of life” thing as a sign that Nasty Women will be similar. Ann-with-an-E was born to play the uptight snob role, which means Rebel will probably play the snob. Although I really wish they’d switch it and make Rebel the snob and Anne the slob. I want to see Oscar-winner Anne Hathaway pretend to use a fancy dining room chair like a toilet.
I’m not a huge Dirty Rotten Scoundrels fan, but I’m still a little hesitant about this remake. We already have the perfect movie about two con women with a talent for grifting. It’s called Heartbreakers. There’s no way you can make a better movie than Heartbreakers, so why bother? Oh no, that totally sounded like I was challenging Hollywood to remake Heartbreakers. I take it back! Nasty Women – great, sure, whatever, just please leave Heartbreakers alone.
Last week, it seemed like there was trouble in the squad (Side note: Hello, my name is Michael. I’m a grown up and I just wrote “trouble in the squad.“) when Lorde was seen with Taylor Swift enemy Diplo. Diplo once said that someone should start a Kickstarter to buy Taylor Swift an ass. I figured that Girl Squad Captain Taylor would immediately tell Lorde to shred her Hello Kitty membership card and then ask for the copy of the key to the treasure box where they keep the friendship bracelet supplies. But I don’t think that happened, because here’s Taylor Swift (giving you Dollar Tree Elvira Hancock) and Lorde (giving you constipated and stoned Emily the Strange in an Ice Capades show directed by Tim Burton) at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party last night.
But maybe something is up. Lorde does look like she was sedated and is only posing with Taylor because Taylor threatened to expose secrets that could ruin her career. You know, secrets like she really hates the color black, she loves the color pink, Nicholas Sparks is her favorite author, she really feels whole when she smiles and nothing brightens up her day like sunshine. But then again, Lorde always looks like a goth ghost who took too much Ambien, so everything’s probably fine. However, nothing is fine with the blood explosion messiness that Gwen Stefani wore.
While Blake Shelton looked like the most dressed up dude at a hillbilly wedding, Gwen Stefani looked like she was about to star in Carrie On Ice!
It looks like her belly button is barfing blood. She looks like a slutty blood clot. We get it, Gwen. You’re hot. You still got it, bitch. I’m all for a trick trying to get attention by showing her granny panties in a sheer dress, but Gwen could’ve done it without wearing an ensemble that makes me want to throw tampons, Band-Aids and cotton balls at her.
And here’s more pictures from last night’s VF party including some of Justin Timberlake being annoying and Anne Hathaway wearing Mrs. Roper’s favorite disco freakum muumuu.