Teresa Giudice’s greedy gorilla hairline will never release its grasp on her twohead, but the federal prison system has finally released its grasp on her after 11 months. In a cell at the Danbury Federal Correctional Institution (aka the Orange is the New Black prison) in Connecticut this morning, the current reigning grand dame of trash from The Real Housewives of New Jersey laid her curly hair on a hot plate and used a pot to straighten it out, because she wanted to be paparazzi glamour ready for her triumphant stroll out of the clink. At around 5am, Teresa sashayed out of prison and delivered an “Excuse my prison bitch beauty” pose for the pap who just happened to be there:
— People magazine (@people) December 23, 2015
The always reliable Celebrity Net Worth says that Yolanda Foster’s fortune is totaled at $45 million and most of that mountain of cash came from the divorce settlement she got from her ex-husband Mohammed Hadid. Celebrity Net Worth says that Yolanda’s estranged husband David Foster’s net worth is $30 million. But The Daily Mail’s American second cousin Radar says that all of her millions have dried up and now she’s living in David’s Beverly Hills condo by herself. On the Real Housemesses of Beverly Hills, Yolanda says that she’s living in David’s old bachelor pad, because she’s really sick and a small (compared to a mansion) condo is all she can deal with at the moment. A source says that the real reason Yolanda is living in David’s old place is because she’s as broke as Taylor Armstrong’s lip job.
E! News pretty much shot a million more holes into Brooks Ayers’ “I swear I’ve got cancer” claims yesterday when they posted proof that he faked his chemotherapy bills and got a rep from City of Hope to confirm that they’ve never treated the slimy douche dingle from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Brooks told E! News last week that he does have cancer and he showed them chemotherapy bills from City of Hope as proof. But after getting called out, Brooks admitted to E! that the chemotherapy bills he showed them were as real as whatever the hell Vicki Gunvalson put in her face.
On the Real Housewives of Orange County last season, a huge chunk of time was spent on whether or not Vicki Gunvalson’s (now ex) piece Brooks Ayers was and is faking cancer. New Housemess and piece of dehydrated celery, Meghan King Edmonds, was one of the first to say that something in the milk ain’t cancer. In one of the earlier episodes, a psychic told Meghan, Tamra Judge and Heather Dubrow that shifty and shady Brooks doesn’t have cancer. They decided to investigate that shit and stopped short of hiring Detective La Toya to get to the bottom of everything. Meanwhile, Brooks and Vicki kept insisting that he has the Big C and those demonic hags will rot (well, not really rot since plastic doesn’t do that) in hell for accusing a poor, sick man of faking the sicks. Brooks recently claimed he got chemotherapy treatments at City of Hope and he provided the receipts. But well, City of Hope has released a statement saying, “We don’t know the bitch.”
The Ashley Madison hack has already exposed Porky Pig’s child-touching cheating second cousin, an insane Christian vlogger, the executive director of the Louisiana GOP and the lead prosector in the Casey Anthony case. The hack also went from “shit got serious” to “shit got sad” when it was reported that two men in Toronto may have killed themselves because of it. Well, now the Ashley Madison hack is coming for reality tricks. Dean McDermott and Eddie Cibrian can both breathe out two giant sighs of relief, because their names haven’t come up (yet). But the names of Snooki’s husband and a husband on The Real Housewives of NYC did come up.
Pour out a jar of lace front bonding glue and begin mourning the loss of NeNe Leakes giving us fucked-up looks like the one above, because the last remaining original member of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is leaving the show that made her a legend (in her own wig-covered mind). After 7 seasons, NeNe has packed up her trunk of wigs (including my favorite, the Dutch Boy scarecrow on meth wig above) and said BLOOP! to those messes.