I’ve always wanted to spend part of my life like Diane Lane in Under The Tuscan Sun: slightly jaded, doing time in Italy, and guzzling all the wine. A judge gave Juicy Joe just that opportunity last week by ruling that JJ (also known as Joe Giudice) will have to return to Italy after his prison sentence for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion is up in 2019 and not in front of a camera for Real Housewives Of New Jersey like his wife, Teresa Giudice, did after her time in the slammer. They served consecutive prison sentences, but unlike Tre, Joe isn’t a U.S. citizen since his parents brought him here from Italy when he was only a one-year-old. There was always the threat of this, but now that it’s official, the Giudice clan is speaking out.
Just when you thought the return of Danielle Staub would be the messiest thing to happen on Real Housewives Of New Jersey, the Giudice family STILL manages to bellow out, “Uhhh…hold my beer.” Joe and Teresa Giudice wowed us all from the very first season with their classy penchant for Ed Hardy T-shirts and ability to tell their interior decorator, “We want onyx and marble EVERYWHERE!” The IRS was equally as wowed and handed their asses prison sentences for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion. While Teresa served her time and is back on Bravo (because duh), Joe is still in prison, and there has been the question of whether he would get deported back to Italy since he’s not a U.S. citizen. That was answered today because a judge has ruled he better have enjoyed reading Eat, Pray, Love because he’ll be forced to live in the “Eat” portion as soon as he’s released.
If you hear a banshee cackle across Greater Los Angeles today, it’s Kris Jennerwriting up new plotlines for Keeping Up With The Kardashians, per usual. If you hear TWO banshee cackles, it’s because Kim Kardashian may no longer be the reality TV trick with the shortest marriage. I hope you are sitting down for the latest case in “True Love Doesn’t Exist.” It appears that after two months of wedded…uh…opposite-of-bliss, Danielle Staub and new hubby Marty Caffrey are squabbling, and he even blabbed he wanted a divorce! Continue reading
Melania Trump isn’t the only celebrity involved in an immigration scandal at the moment (although I’m sure she considers it less of a scandal and more of a great catwalk opportunity for the Zara Fall/Winter 2016 collection). I’m talking about RHONJ husband Joe Giudice and whether he’d get deported back to the motherland once he did hard time for fraud. Most people thought yes, especially since the disgrace he brought upon this country for slapping so much marble and onyx in a single New Jersey home. Alas, Joe is now out refuting those claims saying he’ll be back with his wife, Teresa Giudice, and kids soon enough, and they can never boot him from this country. Sorry, Tre! Continue reading
Because the IRS doesn’t care where the checks come from, Real Housewives Of New Jersey wreck and ex-convict Teresa Giudice is expanding her reality TV, cookbook, booze empire of popsicle sticks to include being the female Arnold Schwarzenegger and take part in a bodybuilding contest. In a real lost opportunity of camp, Tre didn’t just dress up in a pink leotard and blonde wig like Sharon Stone in Total Recall. Instead, she just applied her regular amount of bronzer and visited Planet Fitness for what appears to be no fewer than eight times a day to strut the catwalk and dare the likes of Kim D. to fuck with her at any upcoming Posh fashion show. She even walked away with a medal.
E! News says Melissa and Joe Gorga plus Dolores and Frank Catania cheered on Teresa in the Bikini Division of the NPC South Jersey Bodybuilding Championships. I guess we know where Fox News can go scout new on-air talent now that the meanie Gretchen Carlson axed the swimsuit competition at Miss America! Behold, Tre looking like an even more terrifying Tan Mom.
— New York Post (@nypost) June 11, 2018
It was Teresa’s first competition, she finished in the top three, and it’ll be on an upcoming Real Housewives Of New Jersey episode because duh. Watch your back, Danielle Staub, because the next time Teresa flips a table, it looks like it might fly all the way to Atlantic City!
Bravo recently announced its upcoming slate of reality TV programming and it includes a fun twist on a classic. Bravo intends to Make Real Housewives Great Again (MRHWGA?) by sending The Real Housewives back in time. According to The Wrap, Real Housewives of The 1960s is slated for the fall. Bravo has proven itself able to deftly engage with our current cultural and socio-economic climate, so why not the 60s? What could go wrong?!