I hate to walk this back, but I’m beginning to think The Curse Of Freddie Mercury may be a fallacy and the problems with the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody are entirely the fault of Bryan Singer, and Bryan Singer alone. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Bryan was skating on thin ice before a single frame was shot. Several Fox executives and producers are speaking out about why Bryan got hired despite his reputation for tempestuous and unprofessional behavior, and why nobody was surprised when he was fired for the same.
The first teaser trailer for the cursed child that is the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody is out. In it, we get our first look at why Hollywood has been fresh out of wigs since 2007, when they first started trying to get this movie made! As a refresher, first Sacha Baron Cohen was going to play Freddie Mercury but after dicking around for 3 years, Sacha bounced because the band wanted to make a feel-good movie that didn’t focus on Freddie. During that time, they lost a couple of directors but eventually Bryan Singer was hired. Last year they found their new Freddie in Rami Malek and started production. Then Bryan got fired and they replaced him with Dexter Fletcher. Kudos to Dexter for finally getting this ship launched.
Here’s the trailer.
We all know that Freddie had himself an unruly mouthful of jack o’lantern choppers so, getting those right were paramount to pulling together Rami’s look. And I don’t think they did them right. Something is off here. Freddie’s choppers were elegantly wasted. When his mouth was open, they sprung forth like an audience giving him a well deserved standing ovation. When his mouth was closed, he had a sensual, slightly pouty look. When Rami’s mouth is closed he looks like he’s smuggling an egg. And when his mouth is open, it just looks like perfectly normal dentures, that are comically three times bigger than they should be. All the same, I love the costumes and whatever combination of Freddie/Rami vocals they’re using here sound great. I will watch this movie but I’m bringing incense and a Freddie prayer candle with me to the theater. There are some spirits that deserve all the deference I can muster.
The Muppet baby version of Freddie Mercury has a new lady friend. According to Us Weekly, Rami Malek is dating his Bohemian Rhapsody co-star Lucy Boynton. Lucy plays Mary Austin, Freddie’s muse and lover cum BFF. She was also in a great movie I saw on a plane once called Sing Street, but I don’t remember her.
Please, link hands and join me in prayer:
Dear God of Airbrushing, in the name of Mimi thy most anointed disciple, I beseech thee oh Lord to deliver young Rami Malek, a fine, strong actor, a talented performer whose only crime was to forsake all good judgment to embrace the bio pic that wasn’t, Lord, he was led astray by Queen and taken into the darkness of a movie about Freddie Mercury that lo is not actually about Freddie but is on some other shit, oh Father forgive those who hath airbrushed and photoshopped young Rami to within an inch of his life, creating a shiny CGI looking false profit of the most revered and great Freddie in the name of the Father and The Holy Spirit I pray for his deliverance. Amen.
Okay, here he is.
The Queen Biopic Bohemian Rhapsody we’ve been hearing about since 2010 is finally happening. The band Queen announced that the film will finally go into production and will star Mr. Robot’s Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury. Probable sleazeball Bryan Singer (various X-Mensises, The Usual Suspects) will direct.
Answer: Diddy gives a fuck, like a lot of fucks.
red beige and blue carpet posing portion of last night’s Met Gala, Diddy worked the cameras with his on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-again piece Cassie, and at one point he lounged on the steps like a man casually lounging on a display at Forever 21 while his girlfriend gets in a long line to try on a pair of jeans. That little smooth move brought out a dozen “Diddy Don’t Give A Fuck” headlines. Au contraire, bitch. Diddy does give a fuck and that shameless spotlight-shifting whore knew what he was doing.
Cassie stood there in a field of humongous ass sea urchins, working for those camera clicks, as Diddly easily got the cameras to move his way by casually strolling to the stairs for a little lounging time. Cassie’s dress is covered with giant plastic caterpillars (or are those giant Groucho Marx brows?) and Diddy gets all the attention by simply lounging like an evil vampire lounging on a velvet settee while eyeing his prey from across the room. Diddy wants us to think he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about her,” but we all know he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about moi.”
With that being said, I’d probably do the same thing, because standing is hard. And also, that dramatic lying down pose really does show off Diddy’s “Steven Seagal spending a casual afternoon at home” outfit.
And now we end our never-ending Mess Gala 2017 coverage with several dollops of hotness provided by the dudes of the night including ASkars, Riz Ahmed, Rami Malek and Luke Evans.
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty