Category: Rami Malek

Open Post: Hosted By The First Teaser Trailer For “Bohemian Rhapsody”

May 15, 2018 / Posted by:

The first teaser trailer for the cursed child that is the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody is out. In it, we get our first look at why Hollywood has been fresh out of wigs since 2007, when they first started trying to get this movie made! As a refresher, first Sacha Baron Cohen was going to play Freddie Mercury but after dicking around for 3 years, Sacha bounced because the band wanted to make a feel-good movie that didn’t focus on Freddie. During that time, they lost a couple of directors but eventually Bryan Singer was hired. Last year they found their new Freddie in Rami Malek and started production. Then Bryan got fired and they replaced him with Dexter Fletcher. Kudos to Dexter for finally getting this ship launched.

Here’s the trailer.

We all know that Freddie had himself an unruly mouthful of jack o’lantern choppers so, getting those right were paramount to pulling together Rami’s look. And I don’t think they did them right. Something is off here. Freddie’s choppers were elegantly wasted. When his mouth was open, they sprung forth like an audience giving him a well deserved standing ovation. When his mouth was closed, he had a sensual, slightly pouty look. When Rami’s mouth is closed he looks like he’s smuggling an egg. And when his mouth is open, it just looks like perfectly normal dentures, that are comically three times bigger than they should be. All the same, I love the costumes and whatever combination of Freddie/Rami vocals they’re using here sound great. I will watch this movie but I’m bringing incense and a Freddie prayer candle with me to the theater. There are some spirits that deserve all the deference I can muster.

Pic: YouTube

The First Look At Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury Is Here

September 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Please, link hands and join me in prayer:

Dear God of Airbrushing, in the name of Mimi thy most anointed disciple, I beseech thee oh Lord to deliver young Rami Malek, a fine, strong actor, a talented performer whose only crime was to forsake all good judgment to embrace the bio pic that wasn’t, Lord, he was led astray by Queen and taken into the darkness of a movie about Freddie Mercury that lo is not actually about Freddie but is on some other shit, oh Father forgive those who hath airbrushed and photoshopped young Rami to within an inch of his life, creating a shiny CGI looking false profit of the most revered and great Freddie in the name of the Father and The Holy Spirit I pray for his deliverance. Amen.

Okay, here he is.

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The Queen Biopic Is Finally Going To Happen, For Real This Time

July 18, 2017 / Posted by:

The Queen Biopic Bohemian Rhapsody we’ve been hearing about since 2010 is finally happening. The band Queen announced that the film will finally go into production and will star Mr. Robot’s Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury. Probable sleazeball Bryan Singer (various X-Mensises, The Usual Suspects) will direct.

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Diddy Either DGAF Or GAF 

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Answer: Diddy gives a fuck, like a lot of fucks.

During the red beige and blue carpet posing portion of last night’s Met Gala, Diddy worked the cameras with his on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-again piece Cassie, and at one point he lounged on the steps like a man casually lounging on a display at Forever 21 while his girlfriend gets in a long line to try on a pair of jeans. That little smooth move brought out a dozen “Diddy Don’t Give A Fuck” headlines. Au contraire, bitch. Diddy does give a fuck and that shameless spotlight-shifting whore knew what he was doing.

Cassie stood there in a field of humongous ass sea urchins, working for those camera clicks, as Diddly easily got the cameras to move his way by casually strolling to the stairs for a little lounging time. Cassie’s dress is covered with giant plastic caterpillars (or are those giant Groucho Marx brows?) and Diddy gets all the attention by simply lounging like an evil vampire lounging on a velvet settee while eyeing his prey from across the room. Diddy wants us to think he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about her,” but we all know he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about moi.

With that being said, I’d probably do the same thing, because standing is hard. And also, that dramatic lying down pose really does show off Diddy’s “Steven Seagal spending a casual afternoon at home” outfit.

And now we end our never-ending Mess Gala 2017 coverage with several dollops of hotness provided by the dudes of the night including ASkars, Riz Ahmed, Rami Malek and Luke Evans.

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty

Kate Hudson Went With Both Visible Underboob And Visible Underwear At The SAG Awards

January 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.

Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.

Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.

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