The last time we checked in on who Rachel McAdams was dating (or “Who Rachel McAdams is killing time with until her true love Ryan Gosling swoops back into her life” as those remaining die-hard The Notebook fans might say), she was dating fellow hot Canadian person Taylor Kitsch. This isn’t good news for people who are hoping this story ends with a Lil’ Tim Riggins/Regina George baby.
I’m pretty sure Lindsay Lohan wakes up each day and spins a wheel of film options, and whatever it lands on is what she’ll peddle to the press that today. The Little Mermaid pitch didn’t exactly go well, so surprise, surprise: today, it landed on Mean Girls, again. Continue reading
Benedict Cumberbatch’s new creation wasn’t the only star at the Hollywood premiere of Doctor Strange last night. Tilda Swinton, high priestess of otherworldly fashion, showed up to the premiere in this. For a movie with the word strange in the title, Tilda’s look wasn’t nearly as unusual as I was expecting. Then again, she probably decided to keep it simple (by Tilda’s standards, at least) because there’s no way she could top the strangeness of being cast as a Tibetan man. Whatever the reason, Tilda is really telling a story with her dress, and that story is of an alien pageant queen whose style inspiration comes solely from pirated transmissions of Dynasty reruns. Sadly, the Moussed Elegance wig she ordered from her planet’s version of Amazon.com didn’t arrive in time for her latest pageant.
However, she did managed to inject some weirdness into her ensemble.
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, The Alien Lizard King debuted the trailer for the newest movie that will probably bring in seven trillion dollar signs and allow a Marvel executive to say, “Sure, go ahead and get the solid gold bidet that shoots out diamond water,” to their contractor.
Doctor Strange barely finished filming, but the teaser trailer is already out, because I guess Marvel wanted to keep the nerd boners hard after Disney put out the trailer for the latest Star Whores movie. Although, I don’t know if this crap is going to keep you nerds hard, because it’s just, uh…no. If Inception ate up giant servings of The Matrix, washed it down with a glass of Thor 2 and then barfed up all over a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon diorama, the end result would look like this trailer. It’s got Benedict Cumberbatch doing an American accent, some Inception shit, some Matrix shit and Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One. The Ancient One is a Tibetan sorcerer, but if I didn’t know that, I’d guess that Tilda was playing Powder’s real biological mother doing lazy cosplay as the boy from The Last Airbender.
While watching this trailer, you may be wondering why there’s no Asians in it. Um, there’s Asians as the EXTRAS, thankyouverymuch!
Since they insisted on casting Tilda as the Ancient One, they should’ve went all the way. They should’ve Tilda-washed the whole thing by casting her in every single role.
And here’s Tilda graciously bestowing her regal presence upon her loyal subjects while walking through NYC with her young lovah last month.
Back in July, Rachel McAdams wouldn’t say whether or not she was riding on her True Detective co-star and fellow Canadian person Taylor Kitsch’s maple-dipped long john (or if you want to get really Canadian, letting him dip his “chicken” into her “Chalet sauce“). Around the same time, there were whispers that she was also being wooed by another hot True Detective, Colin Farrell. But reportedly, Rachel still has a thing for non-threatening Canadian hunks. According to Life & Style, Rachel and Taylor are definitely 100% doing it. And it’s happening so often they’re basically living together. Although really, as if we needed to be told; anyone with at least one working eye can see the white-hot sexual chemistry radiating between those two in the picture above.
A source tells Life & Style that Rachel and Taylor (sidenote: Rachel & Taylor totally sounds like the kind of place popular 14-year-old girls shoplift crop tops) are “practically living together” at Taylor’s condo. The source adds that they’re always going to brunch together and the gym together. Well that’s entirely too wholesome. I always pictured Taylor Kitsch as more of a ‘get beer drunk and have sloppy couch sex’ type, but maybe that could be my brain’s refusal to believe he’s not actually Tim Riggins.
The source also says that it’s gotten so serious that Rachel introduced Taylor to her family, and he bonded with her mom. Meeting the parents in regular life is not that big of a deal, but meeting the parents in Hollywood famous people life is huge. That’s basically the code word sequence that UsWeekly requires to pull out their “GETTING MARRIED!” cover template.
On that note, I’m sure the obsessive Notebook fans have started writing fanfic about Ryan Gosling barging into the church, The Graduate-style, on Rachel McAdams’ wedding day, crying “I couldn’t let you marry the low-budget British Columbia version of me“, and whisking her off in a rowboat.
Last week, it seemed like there was trouble in the squad (Side note: Hello, my name is Michael. I’m a grown up and I just wrote “trouble in the squad.“) when Lorde was seen with Taylor Swift enemy Diplo. Diplo once said that someone should start a Kickstarter to buy Taylor Swift an ass. I figured that Girl Squad Captain Taylor would immediately tell Lorde to shred her Hello Kitty membership card and then ask for the copy of the key to the treasure box where they keep the friendship bracelet supplies. But I don’t think that happened, because here’s Taylor Swift (giving you Dollar Tree Elvira Hancock) and Lorde (giving you constipated and stoned Emily the Strange in an Ice Capades show directed by Tim Burton) at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party last night.
But maybe something is up. Lorde does look like she was sedated and is only posing with Taylor because Taylor threatened to expose secrets that could ruin her career. You know, secrets like she really hates the color black, she loves the color pink, Nicholas Sparks is her favorite author, she really feels whole when she smiles and nothing brightens up her day like sunshine. But then again, Lorde always looks like a goth ghost who took too much Ambien, so everything’s probably fine. However, nothing is fine with the blood explosion messiness that Gwen Stefani wore.
While Blake Shelton looked like the most dressed up dude at a hillbilly wedding, Gwen Stefani looked like she was about to star in Carrie On Ice!
It looks like her belly button is barfing blood. She looks like a slutty blood clot. We get it, Gwen. You’re hot. You still got it, bitch. I’m all for a trick trying to get attention by showing her granny panties in a sheer dress, but Gwen could’ve done it without wearing an ensemble that makes me want to throw tampons, Band-Aids and cotton balls at her.
And here’s more pictures from last night’s VF party including some of Justin Timberlake being annoying and Anne Hathaway wearing Mrs. Roper’s favorite disco freakum muumuu.