“You caint do nuthin’ you cain’t do nuthin about” – R. Kelly
Wiser words were never spoken, well by R. Kelly at least. Those were his thoughts as he shared with fans the devastating results of the burglary that occurred at two of his properties in Atlanta while he was out on tour. In a series of posts on Instagram, Kelly gave a rundown of how much was taken from him over the course of the two-day heist. And in case you’re wondering, the answer is yes, R. Kelly’s crib is just as tacky as you might imagine.
For a change, R. Kelly is the victim of a story. R. Kelly got burgled big time while he was away on tour in New Orleans and police believe a criminal mastermind named Alfonso Walker is the one who did it. Alfonso used to do odd jobs for Kelly but apparently felt compelled to answer a higher calling.
The New York Daily News reports that two of Kelly’s Atlanta houses (one owned and the other rented) had everything that wasn’t nailed down snatched in broad daylight reportedly under Alfonso’s direction. It’s alleged that Alfonso got a crew together to pose as movers and cleaned out every room in both houses. When a housekeeper arrived at one of the houses, she called the police and told them “everything was gone”.
I can’t even with his face, so here’s a puppy. New accusations against slimy, globulus fecal cell-filled petri dish R. Kelly have come to light this week. A 24-year-old woman named Jerhonda Pace has broken a non-disclosure agreement in order to tell her story in hopes it will help put an end to R. Kelly’s continued “alleged” abuse of underage women.
The past few weeks have been pretty bad for everyone’s favorite creepy uncle, R. Kelly. First, we found out about his No Checkout Time bed and breakfast filled with women he Pied Piper-ed into staying with him. Next, we heard from one of his “captives” who wanted to inform us all that he’s the best man she’s ever known and is STAYYYYIN’! Then, we got an exclusive look behind the curtain of the Wizard of Whiz’s world, even being treated to a story from one of the munchkins who escaped his urine scented Lollipop Guild. And through it all, his fans have been supportive and continued to throw money at him for his current After Party tour. Well, that’s finally come to an end! It seems like common sense is ready to overtake this madness, because a few of his tour dates have been cancelled.
The self-proclaimed “Pied Piper of R&B” (yeah, let that marinate a bit), R. Kelly can’t keep his face off the TMZ homepage these days. Today’s latest story is about a girl who got away. A woman, who was 20 at the time, spoke to TMZ about meeting R. Kelly after she was singled out by “someone in his crew” at a concert last December and given a backstage pass.
A woman who claims to have intimate knowledge of some of the vile shit we’ve been hearing about at the R. Kelly complex has come forward, and she’s given the harrowing details to Jezebel. And she has receipts. Literally. She has the receipts that prove she was there.