Category: R. Kelly

R. Kelly’s Bank Account Has Reportedly Hit Negative

April 14, 2019 / Posted by:

This is not a photo of R. Kelly illustrating on two fingers the number of dollars he has left to his name, because he can only dream of holding that much wealth in his back pocket. R. Kelly’s financial situation is as broke as his morals and he’s reportedly got a balance of negative $13 in his bank account. Yep, lucky negative thirteen. It’s a beautiful poetic justice when vengeance is served fast and right where it hurts the most. In this case not the balls but the bank account. I think we’d all have settled for balls, but bank account will do if a swifty to the nuts isn’t possible.

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R. Kelly Asked The Media To Leave Him Alone Ahead Of An Appearance At A Poorly Attended Private Event

April 7, 2019 / Posted by:

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. It’s about this poor guy who is a victim. R. Kelly, who is currently out on bond for numerous counts of sexual abuse, took to his Instagram page last night to illicit a little compassion from the media ahead of a private party in Springfield, Illinois that he was paid in actual U.S. currency to attend. R. asked in his calmest “pretty please” voice for the media to leave him alone, but it turns out he didn’t really need to worry, because the party was pretty much a flop. I guess not that many people are willing to pay to hang out with R. Kelly these days. You don’t say.

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R. Kelly Says His “Spirit” Made Him Do That Gayle King Interview

March 12, 2019 / Posted by:

I see R. Kelly is laying down groundwork for an insanity defense. Remember just a few days ago when R. Kelly–who is in the process of dealing with the major fallout of a documentary exposé and being hit with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse–decided it was a good time for an interview? Well, Kells has an explanation for why he did that, and it’s a good one. His “spirit” told him to.

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R. Kelly’s Out Of Jail Because Someone Paid His Child Support For Him

March 10, 2019 / Posted by:

Alleged pedophile and girl imprisoner (and definite histrionic asshole) R. Kelly was safely ensconced in a prison cell for not paying child support. And then someone had to go and pay it for him, just like how that diner owner/”friend paid to get him out of jail after he was arrested on sexual abuse charges. Who are these people? And why can’t they pay our outstanding student loans instead? The majority of people with outstanding student loans never (allegedly) started evil sex cults! Where’s our free money?!? TMZ reports that R. Kelly has once again been loosed on society.

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R. Kelly Is Back In Jail Over Unpaid Child Support, And There’s Another Sexual Assault Accuser

March 7, 2019 / Posted by:

TMZ is reporting that R. Kelly‘s freedom was hella short lived. R. Kelly turned himself in to police at the end of February after being charged with 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse, but was happily freed by a guardian angel who paid his bail a few days later and didn’t seem to care what the backlash would be for her. Well, R. Kelly might be needing that guardian angel money again, because he’s back in the slammer.

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R. Kelly Tried To Set The Record Straight With An Interview With Gayle King. It Was Probably A Mistake

March 6, 2019 / Posted by:

You may have already seen a few clips of Robert Sylvester Kelly sobbing, raging, and speaking directly to the camera in his CBS This Morning interview with Gayle King. It was a lot. We all know that Robert’s reading comprehension is not quite up to grade level, so maybe he read the invitation wrong. Maybe instead of agreeing to sit down with an adult woman and answer some very basic questions about the allegations he’s facing, he thought instead he was agreeing to come in and audition for a community theater bible play about wrongfully persecuted man whose only crime was having too big a heart.

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