“I Believe I Can Fly” singer and accused pedophile and alleged sex cult leader (all of that must look really odd on a résumé) R. Kelly turned himself into Chicago police last night. Kelly has been officially charged with 10 counts of “aggravated sexual abuse involving four victims, including at least three between the ages of 13 and 17,” according to The Associated Press. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Chicago, Jussie Smollett must have his head bowed in prayer to thank Jesus for taking a little bit of the glare off of him.
Well I’ll be damned. Just when you thought the entire Chicago legal system was laser focused on proving the guilt of a man who used a personal check in the alleged commission of a felony, it’s nice to know they also had the time to conduct a grand jury investigation into the alleged sexual abuse crimes of Robert Sylvester Kelly. According to TMZ, the Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx has charged Robert with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, and I just decided to have champagne for lunch. And dinner. While I’m celebrating, Robert is probably packing a sad brown bag lunch and texting his one remaining friend to come water his plants while he’s gone because he’s expected to voluntarily turn himself over to authorities tonight after a no-bail arrest warrant was issued.
Prayers up for Bryan Adams who, as far as we know, has done nothing to warrant people all over the country smashing their 45’s of Summer of 69 over their knee. Because of that damn B, he’s always getting confused with singer/songwriter/alleged R.Kelly wannabe Ryan Adams who has just had his most recent album pulled by Universal Music Group in light of a New York Times investigation that alleges he solicited “explicit communications with an underage fan”. Additionally, according to Vulture, his ex-wife Mandy Moore, singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers, and “several other female musicians” have accused him on sexual misconduct and abuse.
Michael Avenatti wasn’t able to land his big game fish, Donald Trump (bottom feeding flat fish can grow quite big, don’t ya know), but apparently he’s had his sights set on easier prey too. Michael announced that he’s been in possession of a previously unseen tape of Robert Sylvester Kelly engaging in “multiple sexual assaults of a girl underage”. According to Michael, he’s been representing “multiple clients” with allegations of sexual assault against Robert since April of 2018, and has been doing so pro bono because he cares deeply about “young African-American girls”. I’m sure his involvement had nothing at all to do with sidling up to the white-hot spotlight R. Kelly’s been living under since, I don’t know, about April of 2018. But regardless of his motives, it sounds like Michael may have found a smoking gun, and has turned it over to the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office.
Can you imagine being such a horrible, shitty, demonic human being that not only record labels who you make shit-tons of money for have to drop you but entire countries say, “We’re good”, when you try to visit them? Enter: R. Kelly, who may not be allowed into Australia anymore.
Essence is reporting that Taraji P. Henson went ahead and stepped in a big ole’ pile of shit after she tried making some kind of a statement about the #MuteRKelly movement, comparing it to the reactions against Harvey Weinstein. Did trying to compare two devils to see which is worse turn out well for Taraji? Nope!
Taraji posted an Instagram Story showing her going through some hashtags on Twitter. She found a ton of #MuteRKelly associated hashtags meant to dissuade people from listening to R. Kelly’s music and giving him money he doesn’t deserve. But she couldn’t find any for #MuteWeinstein or #MuteHarveyWeinstein which to me makes sense since he is not a singer. This stumped Taraji, though, who then posted a thinking emoji and captioned it “Hmmm.” Which would be what everyone looking at her social media would be asking themselves after seeing her post.