Category: Quit This Bitch

Amy Schumer Has Dropped Out Of The Live-Action Barbie Movie

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Back in December, it was announced that Amy Schumer would be playing Barbie in Sony’s live action Barbie movie. Amy was playing a version of Barbie who doesn’t fit in with all the other Barbies. That minor detail didn’t matter to some people on the internet who though she was too big to be playing any Barbie. Amy didn’t care; she claimed she was “so honored” to be playing such an “icon.” Sony is going to have to find someone else who would be honored to step into Barbie’s iconic hard plastic pink heels, because Amy Schumer is out. Jennifer Coolidge, call your agent!

Amy tells Variety she’s “bummed” about not being able to play Barbie, and she blames it on scheduling conflicts. Production on Barbie was supposed to start on June 23, but that’s right in the middle of her promotional tour for Snatched. After that, Amy begins shooting She Came to Me with Steve Carell and Nicole Kidman. Amy adds that Sony and Mattel have been great partners, and she can’t wait to see the film when it comes out.

Variety says Sony needed to stick to that schedule, because Mattel has merchandise to move. Sony chimed in regarding Amy’s departure. They say they respect and support her decision to leave, and that they look forward to sharing updates on casting.

Not only was Amy supposed to play Barbie, but apparently she also punched up the script. Variety says they have no idea if Sony will keep Amy’s script changes. I have a feeling they probably won’t. An Amy Schumer-ized script really only works if Amy Schumer is saying the words. It’s going to be really awkward hearing whoever ends up playing Barbie warn Ken that her plastic no-crotch smells like a barnyard animal.

Pic: Splash

Shailene Woodley Has Officially Walked Away From The “Divergent” TV Movie

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Last July it was reported that Lionsgate was taking the fourth and final film in the Divergent franchise, Ascendant, and chucking it like an expired tuna sandwich. Except instead of trashing it, they decided they’d dump it onto the small screen as a television movie. Poor television. Television doesn’t want your garbage.

Shailene Woodley clearly didn’t want television’s garbage either, and she said a few months later that she wasn’t feeling a television movie. During the premiere of her new HBO miniseries Big Little Lies yesterday, Shailene confirmed what we already knew. When asked if she’d be starring in Ascendant, Shailene told Vanity Fair:

“No. I’m not going to be on the television show.”

Shailene is currently on an HBO series, so it’s not like she’s bailing because she thinks she’s too good for television. She’s just too good for low-budget TV movies. Keep that in mind, Lifetime.

Shailene’s name is still on the IMBD page for Ascendant, but so is Miles Teller, Naomi Watts and two-time Oscar nominee Octavia Spencer. At least they are for now. I have a feeling that it’s only a matter of time before the entire cast list is replaced with a picture of someone shrugging like “Eh, we have no idea either. Maybe someone from a Disney Channel show or something?

Here’s Shailene at the premiere for HBO’s Big Little Lies in Hollywood last night with a smile on her face that says she’s really happy to not have to do anymore knock-off Hunger Games movies.

Pic: Wenn.com

Tamron Hall Is Done With NBC News

February 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Well, at least we’ll always have Tamron Hall’s riveting performance as Vivian Ward in Today’s revival of the “It’s Veeeery Expensive” scene from Pretty Woman.

Tamron Hall no longer has to worry about breathing through her mouth so she doesn’t inhale Matt Lauer’s smug douche fumes while hosting next to him on Today. Because she has decided not to renew her contract with NBC News and MSNBC.

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Vivica A. Fox’s Partner Has Quit Her Over Those “No Gay Dudes” Comment

January 10, 2017 / Posted by:

If this picture was representative of Vivica A. Fox’s life, you could say she’s waving goodbye to her business partner along with all the gays she wanted to deny lap dances to.

Last week, Vivica A. Fox got in a bit of trouble while promoting Vivica’s Black Magic, the Lifetime reality show documenting the launch of her male stripper review in Las Vegas. Vivica was asked if gay guys could get a lap dance too and she replied, “Aw, hell no!” Vivica claimed her club was for the ladies. Vivica took more shit online for that “hell no” than she has taken needles to the face, and she eventually tried to backpedal.

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That’s NOT My Girl: One Of The Fifth Harmonies Quit That Bitch

December 19, 2016 / Posted by:

In many pictures of Fifth Harmony posing together, each chick looks like she’d rather be posing next to a bitchy and hungry grizzly bear who’s got a craving for second-tier girl group members. So it’s not a shock that one of them has decided that she’s the Beyonce of the group and has exited stage left forever. (SPOILER ALERT: She’ll probably beg them all to let her back in when her debut solo concert at the Northern Wisconsin State Fair in Chippewa Falls is canceled due to low ticket sales.)

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Quentin Tarantino Says He Will Retire After His Next Two Films

November 4, 2016 / Posted by:

Sad news for people who really like watching revenge-themed movies filled with 1/3 of Hollywood’s fake blood supply while simultaneously wondering “God damn, why are all the music cues so fucking loud?” Quentin Tarantino revealed yesterday while speaking at the Adobe MAX creativity conference (via The Hollywood Reporter) that he’s got two more films in him before he retires to the verandah with a newspaper, a warm mug of Lemon Zinger, and several pairs of clean sexy feet to snuggle into. Quentin was asked by Adobe CMO Ann Lewnes about a rumor that he’s done making movies after his 10th. Quentin upgraded that rumor to “truth” and confirmed that his 10th film will be his last.

“Yeah. Two more. And then drop the mic, boom. Tell everybody, ‘Match that shit.‘”

It happens around the 23:17 mark, or just start at the beginning if you want to spend a lot of time with his receding hairline mullet.

Quentin’s 8th film was The Hateful Eight, a movie that gave me dental nightmares for weeks. His next film will be a sort of Australian Bonnie & Clyde. QT didn’t give any information about his last film. I have a feeling it won’t be one single film. Kill Bill: Volume 1 and Kill Bill: Volume 2 are two movies, but Quentin considers them as one film on his list of stuff he’s done. Nobody gets a movie making boner more than Quentin Tarantino; he’s basically a college film nerd with money and Brad Pitt’s email address. So I can see his “final” 10th film being a 10-film revenge series that takes him 10 years to make. Although I’m sure Samuel L. Jackson would appreciate the guaranteed job security.

Pic: Wenn.com

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