Category: Prince William

Emma Thompson Accepted Damehood In Sneakers And Tried To Kiss Prince William

November 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Just when Duchess Kate was getting over that Swiss harlot debacle of 2017 with Prince William, she has NEW competition – and I’d actually be nervous over this one! I’m no Brit, but I’d bet on Emma Thompson for leading British treasure just after Paddington Bear, THE QUEEN, and fish ‘n chips. Those pesky royals finally caught on and decided to give Emma a dame status that will put her in the same pointless title sorority as Dames Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, and Helen Mirren. Alas, it sounds like Emma’s daming ceremony (or whatever they call it) was more fun than the other three because she tried to lock lips with William!

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Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate And Prince William Getting Into Some PDA At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding

October 12, 2018 / Posted by:

We know Prince William and Duchess Kate have three children, but I’m sure if The Queen had her way, it shall remain a mystery as to how those future heirs were made. Royal magic? Wishes? Stop asking, you pervert! Generally, PDA is a no-no when it comes to royal family protocol, but today William and Kate decided to let royal protocol take a backseat to their emotions, and they were caught holding hands in the pews during Princess Eugenie’s wedding ceremony. So kinky! Is that the first few bars of Beyoncé’s “Naughty Girl” playing?

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Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Meghan’s Eyes Lighting Up While Looking At Her Wedding Dress

September 19, 2018 / Posted by:

I was all about to cynically hate on Duchess Meghan for saying FUCK YES to the dress with her eyes, but I cannot blame her. My eyes would transform into exploding 4,000 watt Philips Hue light bulbs (in shade: hot ginger) if I was looking at the outfit I was going to wear on the day that I could say goodbye to seeing a late fee on a credit card bill and say hello to happily spreading burn cream on my lips (you decide which ones) after rubbing ’em on the royal ginger crotch scepter every night.

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Whoopsies, Prince William Mixed Up China And Japan During An Official Appearance

September 13, 2018 / Posted by:

The Mirror says that in London today, Prince William hit up Japan House, a cultural center celebrating all things Japan. Prince William, joined by Japanese deputy prime minister Taro Aso, toured the facility, watching a copper-beating demonstration, and tasting sake and salmon sashimi. Booze samples? You know Prince Harry was totally pissed his name wasn’t pulled for that job. Japan House seems all about exploring and understanding the culture, and William was of course very respectful. It wasn’t like he was leaving exhibits asking: “Cool, but when do we get to the Pocky and Pokemon part of the tour?” Which makes this next part just that much more awkward.

William sat down to practice using chopsticks with some school children who were present at Japan House. Some of the kids were just learning, and William made with this cringey bit of small talk:

“Have you guys had much Chinese food? Sorry, Japanese food.”

He obviously knew he screwed up, because that pivot to Japanese food happened almost immediately. On a scale of one to ten, that slip-up ranks a whole lot lower than if William had asked: “Have you guys had much Chinese food? Well…have you? My favorite is pad thai” or asking how much they love that Alison Gold song. And it’s nowhere near as embarrassing as what could have possibly been said if William’s grandpa Prince Philip was still making Royal appearances. Something tells me it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Prince Philip would have tried to recover from his Chinese/Japanese mistake by reciting a certain rhyme.



A Book Claims Duchess Camilla Tried To Break Up Prince William And Duchess Kate

September 11, 2018 / Posted by:

I’m a big fan of The Crown, and so I can’t wait for season three to find out what The Queen really thought of 1970s Duchess Camilla when she saw her with Prince Charles. But until I get that, I can hold myself over with this. It’s a generation younger, but there’s just as many snooty feelings involved.

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