Category: Prince Hot Ginge
Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Are Now Living In Santa Barbara
Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle can now easily skip on over to Oprah’s humble abode or Ellen DeGeneres’ little seaside shack (that’s if they want to contort their faces into an awkward smile while catching Ellen scorching a gardener’s face with her flaming words of rage for her grass being 1/10th of an inch too long) to borrow a cup of caviar or diamonds, or whatever rich people borrow from each other because they have permanently moved to the Santa Barbara area in California. And yes, I’m resisting the urge to Google, “Is the Whole Foods in Santa Barbara hiring a bagger?” so that I can finally say that I once bagged PHG’s organic eggplant.
Meghan Markle Is Reportedly “Mortified” Over BFF Jessica Mulroney’s Problematic Behavior
Meghan Markle has been taking time from suing the tabloids and trying to convince Prince Harry to start an OnlyFans to pay back their Frogmore renovations to try to control the flames from the dumpster fire that started when her “BFF” Jessica Mulroney, Canadian television personality (and I’m being generous with that description), decided to show her privileged ass while trying to take down Sasha Exeter, a social media influencer who is a Black woman. According to The Daily Mail (via Page Six), the former duchess is beyond embarrassed and is making efforts to dissociate herself from Jessica (which should really be Meghan’s new full-time gig: staying away from shitty people. Maybe Disney can option a movie out of it?)
Prince Hot Ginge Is Lonely And Bored In Los Angeles. Aren’t We All?!
I really should be trolling Craigslist Los Angeles for posts from royal lonely gingers who are looking for friends, but instead I’m here writing about a royal lonely ginger who is looking for friends. Priorities: mine are not in check.
As Emily Giffin frantically writes Something Blue Is Ginger about a sad ginger prince whose diabolically evil trash wife keeps him trapped in their mansion and alienates him from his family while refusing to put pants on her baby (Will CPS please step in?!), a source tells Vanity Fair that PHG is a little lost after moving to Los Angeles since he doesn’t have friends or a purpose at the moment. He shouldn’t be too surprised about that since I’m pretty sure that on Los Angeles’ welcome sign are the words: The Home Of No Real Friends And No Real Purpose BUT Lots Of Hiking!
Master Archie Goes Through A Roller Coaster Of Baby Motions While Meghan Markle Reads A Book To Him For His Birthday
Insert GloriaStuartsItsBeen84Years.GIF right here, because it was only a year ago when little Archie Mountbatten-Windsor became the seventh in line to the British throne by being born and for me, it feels like it’s been an entire lifetime since lots of shit (see: this tag full of approximately 16 billion posts) has happened since then. But it’s only his first birthday and here he is being forced to complete the impossible baby task of sitting still for more than 15 seconds as his mom Meghan Markle says a bunch of words he doesn’t really understand.
Even though Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan are no longer senior royals, they still did the royal tradition of sharing images of their child on his birthday. For the first anniversary of Master Archie’s born day, Meghan read a story to him to raise money for Save The Children UK. If Meghan wants to save a child, she’ll start with her own by saving him from boredom by not spending 3 minutes (which is 52 hours in baby time) to read some story!
Meghan Markle Lost Round One In Her Legal Tussle Against The Mail On Sunday
Last year, Meghan Markle hit one of her arch-rivals, Associated Newspapers, the publisher of The Mail On Sunday and The Daily Mail, with a lawsuit for publishing parts of a private letter she sent to her loyal (to his checking account) and devoted (to again, his checking account) father Thomas Markle a few months after she married Prince Hot Ginge. Even though many of us are on lockdown and turning our kitchens into fucking San Francisco by churning out sourdough bread on the hour, a preliminary hearing in Meghan’s case was held virtually last week. I really need to see the clips of the barristers arguing on Zoom while working those Dangerous Liaisons wigs as they make sourdough at the same time. The judge in the case has made some decisions and the decisions were against Meghan’s case. Okay, but again, I need to know if the judge used a piece of sourdough as a gavel while making those rulings.
Lindsay Lohan Has Advice For Prince Harry And Meghan Markle On Avoiding The Paparazzi In Los Angeles
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have become peasants and moved to Los Angeles. As all peasants do during a pandemic. Now that the two former working royals are residents of the completely private mecca known as Los Angeles, the biggest star around has some advice for them. Just kidding, it’s Lindsay Lohan who gave them advice on how to avoid paparazzi. I mean, the advice is pretty simple: STOP CALLING THEM! But LiLo had more to say.