Duchess Meghan has been a royal for exactly one month now, and ever since then she’s made several debuts. She’s already made her official royal pantyhose-wearer debut, her SCANDAL creator debut, her Buckingham Palace balcony debut, and also her debut as THE QUEEN’s new favorite person alive. And today, Duchess Meghan, who wore Givenchy again, made her debut at Royal Ascot with some of the royals including Prince Hot Ginge. I wish PHG would’ve caught this ass, and yes in doing so, he would’ve caught crabs too, but hey, if you don’t need to use RID after, you didn’t have fun.
While Duchess Meghan barely escaped death via falling (that’s The Daily Mail talk for “she slipped a teeny tiny bit”) as she wore THE QUEEN’s old guest room bed sheets to the wedding of Princess Diana’s niece and one of the Weasleys yesterday, her dad Thomas Markle was refreshing his PayPal account to make sure that the “few thousand pounds” from Piers Morgan came through for his interview on Good Morning Britain today. Thomas Markle told TMZ last month that he regretted taking a check for staged paparazzi pics before the royal wedding, and today he really showed that he still regrets that decision and learned from it by getting paid to talk to the dried caca raisin clinging to humanity’s butt plug about Prince Hot Ginge and his daughter. So much for STFU-ing.…
The British monarchy is trying these days to show it’s not a regular mom, it’s a cool mom, y’all! It has several Instagram accounts, it lets birth order, and not gender, decide who gets to ascend first to the crown, and it even didn’t put up a fuss when Prince Harry got married to the divorced American Duchess Meghan. But when it comes to Harry and Meghan’s lofty duke and duchess titles going to any daughters they might have one day, suddenly the royal code is moonwalking back to tell the modern world, “Ehhhh…not so fast” Continue reading
While guzzling down my 90th can of Red Bull during the 18-hour-long royal wedding watch-a-thon, someone on the Today show talked about how it was rumored that Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan were going to honeymoon in Namibia because Africa is a special place to them since they had one of their first dates there. But that rumor was wrong. Prince Harry must like Tim Hortons coffee with a side of Shania Twain because it sounds like he’s taking his bride to Canada. Eh???
TMZ says Harry and Meghan are going to the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge in Alberta, Canada, for their royal-sanctioned vacation of boning. Some of you might be scratching your heads at why they’re hopping the pond just to be a few miles away from the Suits set when, if they’re going to all the trouble, why not just head south so they can play a game of ding dong ditch with Meghan’s asshole half-siblings.
While the New York Post is calling their honeymoon spot “the most boring place on Earth,” the initial reports says it does have some royal ties – and not just because it shares the same country as Queen Celine Dion. King George VI and the Queen Mother stayed there in 1939, THE QUEEN and Prince Philip checked it out in 2005, and Xenu royalty John Travolta has been there, so at least the royals know there is a working spa with late hours of operation.
The royal family used to talk to the press with about as much frequency as I go to the gym – aka neverrrr. Things have changed a lot, and the royals do more interviews to advance their causes, so the Duchess of Cornwall aka Camilla Parker-Bowles granted an interview at a recent charity visit…and also spoke up a tad on the wedding of Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle. Continue reading
Duchess Meghan Markle and Prince Harry may be making a detour to Mexico on their way to their honeymoon to visit Meghan’s dad Thomas Markle. Thomas lives in Rosarito, Mexico, so it’s kind of out of their way since they reportedly will be honeymooning in Namibia. I hope that’s an amphibious car!