Category: Prince George
Prince Philip And The Queen Celebrate 73 Years Of Wedded Bliss
According to People, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary “with a very special gift — a homemade card” from their great-grandchildren Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis. Not gonna lie, old Lizzy of London over there has had a rough year. So I’m not going to begrudge her a small celebration. Her Majesty THE QUEEN has had to stand by watching as her grandson defected from The Firm, her son was accused of appalling behavior, her family was portrayed as monsters (albeit kind of hot ones) on The Crown, and she was banished into quarantine with a skeleton crew of servants to service her skeleton of 73 years, Prince Philip. So lord knows she’s earned it. Well, maybe earned isn’t the right word here. She’s been sovereignly ordained it at any rate.
Prince George Will Be Allowed To Keep His Plundered Shark Tooth
Even though he already has an entire dinosaur skeleton to call his own (well, more precisely he calls it great-grandpa Philip), the country of Malta has decided that Prince George can keep his little shark tooth, they’ve got bigger fish to fry. Yesterday we learned that George was gifted the 23 million-year-old tooth by Sir David Attenborough who found it back in the 1960s while on vacation. You would think a renowned naturalist like Sir David would know better than most that you’re not allowed to just snatch up any old shit you find on vacation. Do they not show reruns of The Brady Bunch in Jolly Old England? Now because of his hubris, The Royal Family is probably cursed for all eternity. Which is redundant actually, considering the vast array of plundered goods already on display in The British Museum.
Sir David Attenborough Gave Prince George A Fossilized Shark Tooth From Malta, And Malta Wants It Back
Ah, the tragedy of being a rich little royal prince. You hold out your hand to accept a 23 million-year-old shark tooth from an elderly natural historian that your great-granny decorated with a knighthood back in ’85, only to discover that its country of origin demands the artifact be returned immediately. Prince George barely wrapped his fingers around that dinosaur dental bone, and now he’s expected to give it up? According to the country of Malta, yes – that’s exactly what they want.
The Palace Released New Photos Of Prince George To Commemorate His 7th Birthday
Just about the only member of the British royal family still untainted by scandal, Prince George, (Charlotte knows what she did) is celebrating his 7th birthday today. As per tradition, The Firm has released two new pictures of their Wholesome Employee of The Year via his mom and dad’s Instagram account. According to People, the camouflage t-shirt George is wearing in one of the pictures is a “nod” to his family’s “history of service in the armed forces,” noting that his Dad, Prince William, and his uncle, Prince Harry, both served as young men. That’s a lot to put on a 7-year-old kid who probably just likes the camo because it reminds him of boogers. Delicious, organic, sustainably harvested boogers.
Kensington Palace Put Out New Pictures Of Prince William For Father’s Day And His Birthday
I don’t know why, but when I think of Father’s Day, Prince William is usually the last person who comes to mind. But I get it, he’s a father. And a royal. And it’s his birthday. So, I guess it makes sense that new photos of him frolicking with his three kids, looking totally natural––as though they do stuff like that every day––would be released today, of all days.
Merry Christmas From Prince George And Princess Charlotte Who Made Their Church Strut Debut
Since Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan decided to skip the usual Christmas Day strut to church in favor of getting drunk on maple syrup and moose saliva wine spritzers in Canada, the royal family knew they’d have to bring out some real star power to get the people to show up. Because if only Prince William and Duchess Kate did the strut, the only people who would show up would be those who suffer from insomnia since the sight of that double serving of boredom would knock anyone out. So that’s where Future King George and Princess Charlotte come in.
They joined mummy and daddy for their annual stroll into St Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham today. Although, judging by the looks on their faces, they would rather be at home, screaming at the servants to get those AA batteries for their Hatchimals at once!
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