Category: Prince Charles

Prince Andrew Had To Skip The Garter Day Ceremony Because His Family Wouldn’t Let Him Attend

June 13, 2022 / Posted by:

Unfortunately, Prince Andrew’s recent positive COVID-19 test result that caused him to miss THE QUEEN’s Jubilee Thanksgiving service did not result in a case of long covid. SkyNews reports that Andrew was well enough and eager to attend today’s Garter Day ceremony but was shut down by a “family decision” that he needs to keep his ass indoors. I know that’s right! The Queen didn’t make it through her entire Jubilee in one piece only to get taken out by a flying cabbage that had been lobbed at Andrew’s silly hat.

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Prince Louis Stole The Show At THE QUEEN’s Jubilee Edition Of Trooping The Colour

June 2, 2022 / Posted by:

Since THE QUEEN decided that guests wishing to join her on the balcony for the Platinum Jubilee edition of Trooping the Colour needed to show two forms of ID and a pay-stub from The Firm, as expected, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were absent, and according to People, watched the festivities from The Major General’s Office where they “could be seen playfully entertaining various young royals” whose wrist muscles aren’t yet sufficiently developed to endure the rigors of sustained royal waving. However that was not a problem for the littlest royal Prince Louis whose enthusiastic wrist-flopping and face-pulling absolutely stole the show. The Royal Family hasn’t produced a ham this big since The Queen offered Peppa Pig a Damehood.

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THE QUEEN Made A Surprise Appearance At The Royal Windsor Horse Show

May 13, 2022 / Posted by:

After pawning off The Queen’s Speech on her eldest son and future King Prince Charles earlier this week, THE QUEEN managed to rally and get herself all dolled up to make a surprise appearance at the Royal Windsor Horse Show where she spent time chopping it up with her fans/subjects from the comfort of her Range Rover before heading to the stands to sit in a red fancy velvet chair to watch as three of her personal ponies competed. We’ve been told The Queen suffers from mobility issues and is in poor health, but I’m beginning to suspect there’s nothing wrong with her that a slug of gin and a nice cuppa can’t fix, she’s just over the bullshit. Take a look at what she’s been able to rally for and what she’s relegated to the youngins. The Queen is 96 years old, her husband is gone, her children and grandchildren are a disappointment and the colonies are threatening to revolt. Who can blame Liz for wanting to nope out on the pomp and circumstance when there are biscuits, ponies, and the adoration of appropriately posh people to enjoy!

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Prince Charles Gave The Queen’s Speech For The First Time

May 10, 2022 / Posted by:

Despite the prayers of Commonwealth olds across the globe, THE QUEEN is not going to live forever. She’s 96, her health hasn’t been great, and, as we all know, preparing for a Platinum Jubilee is the second-most stressful royal responsibility there is (#1 is helping pay off your son’s sexual assault victim). This morning the Queen was unable to attend the annual State Opening of Parliament due to mobility issues, so she sent 73-year-old Prince Charles to represent the monarchy and deliver THE QUEEN’S Speech!

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Prince Harry Avoided Talking About Prince Charles Or Prince William During An Interview With “Today”

April 20, 2022 / Posted by:

One of the biggest songs to come out of this year is “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” from Encanto, but if Prince Harry had his own version that he hums along to while fixing his morning cup of tea, it might be something like “We Don’t Talk About My Bro (And Depending On My Mood, Maybe Also My Dad).” Because Harry isn’t exactly on the best terms with his brother at the moment, and would likely rather undergo a complete beard transplant without so much as a regular-strength Tylenol than talk about his brother Prince William. Still, Hoda Kotb of Today talked with Harry about the Invictus Games and Harry and Meghan Markle’s return to the UK, and she tried it. Unfortunately for her, Harry successfully dodged a question involving Harry’s current relationship with William and Prince Charles.

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THE QUEEN Is Taking Easter Off So Prince Charles And Duchess Camilla Are Stepping In

April 10, 2022 / Posted by:

THE QUEEN’s activities have been under the microscope for the last few years. With her age, the loss of her husband, and the general messiness of the royal family (at this stage, there’s too many incidents to count), people have been wondering how she’s managing to keep it all together. Her secret? Skipping all the royal events! THE QUEEN has essentially said “Peace out, bitches” when it comes to public functions and her latest NON-appearance is at this year’s Royal Maundy Service. But guess who’ll be showing up? Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla! It’s like when you order a filet mignon and throw a sloppy joe in your face.

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