Category: Porn

A Dude Is Suing His Parents For Destroying His Porn Collection

April 16, 2019 / Posted by:

A grown ass man is suing his parents for throwing out his porn collection and I have questions. WE ALL HAVE QUESTIONS, like did the parents wear rubber gloves and a mask while touching their son’s porn, and where did they learn how to crack open a safe since he had to have kept that treasure locked all the way up. And I’m judging him if he didn’t.

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Porn Will Be Banned From Tumblr Shortly Before Christmas

December 3, 2018 / Posted by:

In news that was surely orchestrated by a tag team of the Grinch and multiple southern churches, the porn police has struck once again – and this time it’s a slap in the face to all us budget hoes who are too cheap to shell out for a Sean Cody membership. Starbucks last week surprised us in acknowledging people were watching porn while they sipped lattes and using the in-store WiFi and said they were going to put the kibosh on that with new internet filters. Now, Tumblr – a blogging platform I have no way of proving but would still guess is 9000% comprised of porn – said it is going to Scrooge us all and ban porn in the next two weeks.

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Starbucks Doesn’t Want You Watching Porn At Its Coffee Shops

November 29, 2018 / Posted by:

I’ve clearly been going to the wrong Starbucks each morning on my way to work. Starbucks is apparently have a problem with people ordering a Frappuccino with a side of the bareback vertical on Sean Cody because it was reported this week they’ll install a tool on its free WiFi network that will block illicit material from being looked at if you’re on their internet.

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Another Teen Mom Might Be Doing Porn

May 25, 2017 / Posted by:

A million years ago (in the 90’s, to be more specific), I knew a lot of teen moms growing up and none of them got paid to be on their own damn TV show. Honestly, the only checks they received came from WIC. That all changed in 2009 when MTV’s reality series Teen Mom introduced a bunch of girls with babies into our lives.

Fast forward to 2017 where one of the moms, Amber Portwood, may be following in fellow Teen Mom alum (and Dlisted patron saint of bad decision making) Farrah Abraham into the lovely world of having protein slurpees chucked into her face (AKA porn).

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The Ted Cruz Lookalike From Maury Is Going To Do Porn For $10,000

April 25, 2016 / Posted by:

I thought I had heard the most ‘Murican story last week when a 21-year-old mom went on Maury to prove that her man is the father of her son and ended up becoming a meme because she has the same face as Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz. But no, that story topped itself after Ted Cruz’s lady face twin was offered $10,000 to do porn and she took the deal. Thanks to the 2008 election, we got Who’s Nailin’ Paylin. And now thanks to the 2016 election, we’re getting ThrusTED: Cruzin’ 4 An Oozin’.

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Britney Spears May Have Added Porn To Her List Of Needs

March 12, 2016 / Posted by:

“Extra! Extra! Read all about it!” That’s me in a little newsboy cap shouting at you, our esteemed readers. I’m shouting because here at DListed, we bring you the finest news from the finest sources. We know what we’re bringing you is 100% (numbers not accurate) true and straight from the horse’s mouth. Like today. Today I will have you know that, apparently, Britney Cheeto Starbucks Uggs Babydropper Spears is addicted to internet porn.

According to The National Enquirer, Britney’s friends are concerned because she’s been burning through AOL internet time discs looking at people bumping uglies, knocking boots and putting D in P like no one’s business – which it isn’t! If a grown ass woman wants to spend the hours she has off from her lazy, lip-snyched show looking at porn, she can! This comes on the heels of Britney telling an audience at her show that she wants “a really hot nerd with a big dick.” Nasty talk like that can only be the work of internet porn.

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