Category: Pharrell

Pharrell Doesn’t Do Diapers

June 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Humanoid Nickelodeon cartoon Pharrell Williams became a dad for the second, third, and fourth time in January when his wife Helen Lasichanh gave birth to triplets. Three babies is a lot of work. There’s probably several mountains of dirty rolled-up diapers growing around their house like stalagmites, but Pharrell would know nothing about that.

Pharrell talked about his new babies on Today (via UsWeekly) while promoting Despicable Me 3 on Tuesday. Hoda Kotb asked what an average diaper change was like before point-blank asking if he changes diapers. According to Pharrell, his wife and an elite team of pooper soldiers takes care of that.

“No. No. My wife is SEAL Team Six, there’s nothing she can’t do. I mean, she carried those three bodies, and she’s just on it, all the time. We do have some amazing people to help us, but still – it’s serious.”

When asked if he picks out clothes for his trio of infants, he replied again that it was “SEAL Team Six” who does that. There are a bunch of nannies in Pharrell’s house who may be asking, “Is that why he calls all of us Private?

Pharrell is really missing out on not changing all those baby diapers. For one, it’s 2017 and dads do that shit (no pun intended) now. Two, because once you’ve gotten elbow-deep in back-to-back stomach-churning infant liquid doo doo diapers in a row, you’re mentally prepared for anything. You can laugh in the face of whatever life throws you when you’ve been desensitized by baby diapers.



“One Love Manchester” Has Raised $12 Million So Far 

June 5, 2017 / Posted by:

As you know, One Love Manchester, Ariana Grande’s benefit concert for the victims and victims families of the terrorist attack at her show two weeks ago, happened in Manchester last night. 50,000 people were at the show and performers included Miley Cyrus, ColdplayKaty Perry, Little Mix, Take That the Black Eyed Peas (sans Fergie), and Justin Bieber. Normally this would be where I’d want to make a “Haven’t they been through enough already?” joke about Bieber, but I do have a shred of a soul left, so I won’t. Yesterday, Red Cross UK said that One Love Manchester raised over $9 million for the victims. Today, TMZ says it has raised $12 million. They expect to raise more from television rights and merchandise.  Continue reading

Madonna Never Really Disappoints At The Met Gala

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!

Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.

Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.

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And Now For The Dudes Of The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We’re finally ending our never-ending Oscar coverage today and the best way to end it is with some man pieces who were probably suffocating in their nut-hugging pants and wanted to take it all off halfway through the show. They should’ve. It would’ve made that mess a hundred million times better and awakened all my senses.

My best dressed chick of the Oscars is definitely Charlize Theron, because with that ponytail, casual diamond earrings and daytime gold la-may gown, she was done up like Alexis Carrington making a quick trip to the supermarket. It was very daytime casual Dynasty. And my best dressed dude is definitely Ryan Gosling, who looks like he reeks of Jovan Musk oil and is about to pick you up in his dad’s gold two-tone Lincoln Continental Mark V to take you to the senior prom where he’s going to feel you up while slow dancing to The Closer I Get To You. And he’s definitely the one who spiked the punch.

Ryan wore Gucci (duh) and I couldn’t tell if those were actual ruffles or trompe l’oeil ruffles (Side note: I don’t do drag, but if I ever did, I’ve got dibs on the name Tramp Louie Ruffles.) And then there’s the smooth rat Pharrell, who dressed like a maître d at an underground restaurant that only serves virgin blood and is owned by Kunty Karl. There’s a reason why Pharrell looks like that. He’s wearing Chanel.


And here’s a million more pictures of the dudes from the Oscars. Come for Mahershala Ali and come again for hot piece of wood Jamie Dornan.


Pics:, Splash

Pharrell Williams’ Wife Gave Birth To Triplets

January 31, 2017 / Posted by:

Back in September, it was reported that Pharrell Williams was going to be a daddy for the second time. As it turns out, that report was incorrect. Vanity Fair says he recently became a daddy for the second, third, and fourth time. Pharrell’s wife Helen Lasichanh gave birth to triplets. Triplets! Poor Helen’s uterus. I bet every time Pharrell started singing Happy, her max-capacity uterus was like “Happy? Speak for yourself. I’m like a damn Puppy Surprise over here.

Pharrell’s rep tells Vanity Fair that Helen gave birth to their three-pack of babies earlier this month. His rep wouldn’t say anything else, like what they had, what they named them, or if they use Pharrell’s giant hat to carry them all around the house. Pharrell and Helen’s three new babies join their 8-year-old son Rocket.

That picture of Pharrell and Helen strolling out of Barneys was taken at the end of December, which means that’s what Helen looked like just a couple weeks before giving birth to triplets. I’ve never had one baby, let alone three, but I feel like I would look like hot death farted in that final month. Helen looks totally normal. Present-day Helen, on the other hand, is probably looking back on that time like “LOL remember when I used to go places and didn’t have three kids attached to me?” Actually, now that I think about it, this might be the first year Pharrell actually ages in the face. Non-stop exposure to three tiny screaming, wet-pooping infants will do that to a person.

Pic: Splash

Open Post: Hosted By Nicole Kidman In Taylor Swift Circa 2007 Cosplay

January 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Oh, Nicole, Nicole, please save your Taylor Swift role-play costumes for your bedroom times with Keith Urban. Our eyes don’t need it!

Hmmm, I don’t remember seeing a badly made Taylor Swift wax figure on the guest list,” said the organizers of the opening gala of the Palm Springs International Festival last night when Nicole Kidman walked the red carpet in one of Elle Fanning’s old dresses that her kids doodled on. That dress was made by Dior, but it looks more like something from David Bridal’s collection of wedding clothes inspired by Angelina Jolie’s doodled-on wedding dress. That whole look is giving me a Big situation. Because of that end-of-the-night prom hair and that dress from Justice, it looks like a little girl took over her body and made all of the design decisions for her. It’s a little Whatever Happened To Baby Jane goes to spring formal.

Thankfully, glamorous savior Suzanne Somers once again cleansed the red carpet of messy dreadfulness with her Ann Jillian razor cut, Wayland Flowers-approved rouge and L’eggs covered legs.


If it went with her ensemble, I’d say that Suzanne Somers should get a Medal of Honor for saving events with her sparkly glamour!

And here’s more pics from the Palm Springs International Film Festival including Natalie Portman wearing Darth Vader maternity chic and Pharrell Williams looking like the manager at a matador-themed gay club that only plays songs from the 80s.

Pics:, Splash

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