As we know, the current narrative on the Chris Pratt and Anna Faris split is that Chris’ star grew too brightly to be contained within Anna’s galaxy. Even though these two are as bland as a mayonnaise sandwich on Wonder Bread with the crusts cut off, we’re gonna get to the bottom of this breakup if it’s the last thing we do!
If the hideous butthole lipgloss-and-pleather vest combo on this drowsy-looking linebacker didn’t bring up your breakfast, then what recently came out of her butthole mouth will (get your paper towels ready).
Patti Stanger, a woman who read a couple dog-eared issues of Cosmo in her dentist’s office back in the early 90s and then declared herself a relationship expert, has said some – SURPRISE – offensive stuff about the LGTB community again. The Huffington Post is reporting that the woman who thinks all gay men are dick-hungry sluts (Note from Michael K: We’re not?!) is back again to say incorrect shit about bisexual dudes:
The Bravo star recently stopped by Bethenny Frankel’s show, “Bethenny,” and answered some questions she pulled from a fishbowl backstage. One of the questions she pulled asked, “Would you ever marry a bisexual man?”
“Uh, never!” Stanger responded. “Never. Never. And if they’re bisexual, they’re gay!”
This is not the first time Stanger has questioned bisexuals.
“Do you want to marry a bisexual?” she asked a “Millionaire Matchmaker” client during Season 2 of her reality series. “Bisexual women are not the women you want to be the mother of your children.”
Get the Guinness Book of World Records on the phone: bisexual men everywhere just exhaled the world’s largest collective sigh of relief.
We’ve got to stop asking Patti Stanger relationship questions, because everything she says is a hot, greasy pile of what the fucking fuck. For instance: during a particularly low and shameful part of my life, I watched Millionaire Matchmaker and took her dating advice. One such tip was not kissing on the first date because, jesus, who fucking knows with this dumb-dumb. So at the end of every date I went on, I would just shake the guy’s hand. After my friends found out I was closing every date like a fucking serial killer, they cut my cable to make sure I’d stop watching Millionaire Matchmaker and start acting like a normal person.
(Pic via Splash)