Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…

The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.

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Modesty Reigned Supreme On The SAG Awards Red Carpet

I don’t know which Project Runway reject fucked up the Overstock.com bedsheet challenge this badly either. And to think, we were so worried about Lizzo getting her juice all over the folding chairs at The Staples Center, we forgot to worry about potential coochie-contact with the upholstered seats at the Shrine Auditorium. However, Sarah Hyland’s short and confusing floral 4th of July bunting skirt was an outlier. For the most part, the outfits on display at last night’s Screen Actors’ Guild Awards were a lot more conservative, ranging from the tiered ruffles and billowy chiffon of a modest religious sect, to tailored suits. On ladies! Hollywood is confusing.

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Patricia Arquette Used Her Emmy Acceptance Speech To Talk About Trans Rights

Last night Patricia Arquette took home the Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie for playing Dee Dee Blanchard in The Act. Based on her look for the evening, I was half expecting her to end her acceptance speech with a shout-out to the inspiration for the cult she recently joined, Her Lord and Savior Nancy Meyers. Instead, Patricia – much like her fellow blonde-haired actress Michelle Williams – turned the spotlight onto a marginalized group who could use a little extra exposure.

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BLASPHEMY! Glenn Close Had To Share Her Critics’ Choice Award Win With Lady Gaga 

Glenn Close deserves another award for acting like she’s grateful to tie with that lesser!

WTF was redefined twice last night at the Critics’ Choice Awards when two categories saw ties. TIES! There was a tie for Best Actress in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television when both Amy Adams (for Sharp Objects) and Patricia Arquette (for Escape at Dannemora) won. And the legendary Glenn Close tied for Best Actress in a movie with amateur actress Lady Gaga. Glenn Close is a professional, so she didn’t do what she should’ve done, which is to sashay up to the mic and say, “You hate me. You really fucking hate me!”

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Stormy Daniels And Roseanne Barr Got Into It On Twitter

Shake out those wrists and crack your knuckles, it’s time for another game of Tweet Fighter! Last time we played, Donald Trump get owned by Alec Baldwin. This time, it’s the president’s alleged mistress vs. the president’s favorite TV mom.

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Patricia Arquette Had A Lot More To Say About Equal Pay For Women

After Patricia Arquette inspired the GIF of the night by going full Norma Rae during her Oscar speech, she went backstage to the press room and said a lot more about how it’s time that everyone gets paid the same. In just a few minutes, Patricia Arquette went from feminist hero to the newest member of the Your Fave Is Problematic Club. At around the 1:30 mark in the video above from Popsugar, Patricia says that it’s time for men, gay people and people of color to fight for equality for women.

“It’s time for women. Equal means equal. The truth is the older women get, the less money they make. The highest percentage of children living in poverty are in female-headed households. It’s inexcusable that we go around the world and we talk about equal rights for women in other countries and we don’t. One of those superior court justices said two years ago in a law speech at a university that we don’t have equal rights for women in America and we don’t because when they wrote Constitution, they didn’t intend it for women. So the truth is even though we sort of feel like we have equal rights in America right under the surface there are huge issues at play that really do affect women. It’s time for all the women in America, and all the men that love women and all the gay people and all the people of color that we’ve all fought for to fight for us now.”

Well, that went over about as well as explosive diarrhea during an orgy. Some people on Twitter dragged Patricia Arquette for that last part. They did the reverse Meryl and sat down. Some think that she’s living in a white feminist bubble where everything is just rainbows and struggle-free sunshine for gay people and people of color. Others think that Patricia marginalized lesbians and women of color and is only speaking for white women. I don’t know…

She had just won and just made Meryl Streep whoop it up for her. This may just be a case of Patricia Arquette’s thoughts getting jumbled in her brain. I mean, she has been looking frazzled as shit for most of this awards season and has regularly given me a Xanax craving. Last night she looked like she had spent most of the day trapped inside of a stuffy room with a bunch of hyperactive 2-year-olds who just finished eating 2 bags of sugar each. I’m surprised she was able to say words at all. I’m surprised she didn’t collapse into a puddle of exhaustion in the press room and rock back and forth while chewing her hair.

Pics: Wenn.com