Gavin Rossdale Might’ve Done The Nanny Too

I don’t know if that Pom is pissed at the paps for taking unflattering pictures or if that Pom knows that Gavin screwed the nanny and refuses to look at his cheating slut ass.

Screw the sheep. 2015 is really the year of the nanny cooch. First Ben Affleck gets accused of doing the nanny and now Gavin Rossdale. UsWeekly says that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale’s marriage has been over for a long time. They’re doing their divorce Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert-style. They worked out the details of their divorce months ago, because they want the process to be quick and easy. A source says that Gwen and Gavin’s 13-year-marriage was lying in the gutter before she had their youngest child, 1-year-old Apollo, and they were hoping a new baby would fill the cracks in their marriage. That didn’t happen, obviously, so they decided to call it a day on their marriage.

TMZ’s source echoes UsWeekly’s story, but also claims that Gwen had the urge to bust a “smell yo dick” on Gavin, because she believed that his peen had made its way into side piece ass. Throughout the years, there’s been rumors and blind items about how Gavin screwed around on Gwen. Gwen apparently hated that Gavin spent a lot of time on the road with Bush and he felt that was hypocritical of her since she tours too. Radar has also jumped in and says that Gwen suspected that Gavin cheated on her and specifically, she believes that he boned the nanny, who is a woman.

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Patrick Dempsey Might Have Been Fired From Grey’s Anatomy For Passing His Peen To An Intern

Just a week before McDreamy floated off to heaven on Grey’s Anatomy, there was a story in Page Six about how Patrick Dempsey was about to get fired, because he replaced Katherine Heigl as the resident cuntified asshole. Well, now InTouch Weekly and Radar say that Patrick didn’t only get fired because he was a diva. Patrick also got fired for allegedly putting his wandering peen into the poon of a much younger intern. Apparently, both Shonda Rhimes and Ellen Pompeo weren’t having it. I’m sure you didn’t read any of that, because you were too busy trying to trace McDreamy’s peen print with your eyes in that picture.

A source says that while Patrick was still with his now estranged wife Jillian Finke, he regularly fucked on a Grey’s intern. A source says that Patrick and the intern started doing it in August and when Ellen Pompeo found out, she told Shonda Rhimes and his wife whom she’s friends with. Shonda Rhimes has no time for married actors humping on her interns, so she killed his character off even though he still had a year on his contract. A source says that on top of Bill Clintoning an intern, Patrick also bitched and moaned about storylines and not getting enough screen time.

Radar’s source says that before he was fired, Patrick was suspended and the side piece intern was moved off of the set and into Shonda’s production offices. When Patrick came back from the time out corner, things didn’t get any better.

“There were lingering feelings of anger towards Patrick, and it was only getting worse. This is when he began showing up late, not remembering lines. Shonda had no other choice but to fire him.”

Patrick Dempsey’s spokeswhore stamped the word “LIES” on both Radar and InTouch’s story. InTouch had the story up this morning, but yanked it down a few hours later. Some figured that Patrick’s lawyers got to them, but InTouch’s editor tells Jezebel that nobody threatened them with a lawsuit. It was just a mistake. The story is still in their print issue. It was never supposed to be online.

If this is true, then Shonda Rhimes is the one who is clearly in the wrong here. Shonda is in the wrong, because she should’ve turned the cameras around a long time ago and shot the behind-the-scenes foolery instead of the show. The mess happening behind-the-scenes (see: This, Katherine Heigl, Isaiah Washington, etc…) is juicier and more dramatic than the show itself. Who cares about McWhoever and that Meredith chick? I want to see shots of Patrick walking out of his trailer while Febrezing his crotch, because he doesn’t want anyone to smell the intern cooch juices on him. I also want to see shots of the writers farting in Katherine Heigl’s Gatorade. Now THAT is some Emmy-worthy shit.

And I see you shameless sluts Googling the question: “What show is Patrick Dempsey working on right now and how can I be an intern on it?“

Beyonce Might’ve Admitted Through One Of Her Songs That Jay-Z Cheated On Her Ass

You didn’t need Beyonce to tell you through one of her songs that Jay-Z has probably spit his camel saliva on his side piece’s crotch before riding that trick raw, but she’s going to tell you anyway, because she’s got a tour to sell. Rumors of Jay-Z’s wandering dick antics have been around since the beginning of Bey-Z time, but ever since Basement Baby tried to commit camel slaughter (call PETA!) in an elevator, more rumors have popped up. If anyone can take a rumor and stretch it out for maximum attention, it’s Beyonce. So during her and Jay-Z’s show in Cincinnati, OH on Saturday night, Beyonce perked up the ears of the BumbleBeys when she changed a few lyrics in her song “Resentment” (video below, starts at around the 3:25 mark).  The Mirror says that Beyonce changed the lyrics “been riding with you for 6 years” to “been riding with you for 12 years” which is how long she’s been riding the camel.  The STUNT QUEEN of Dereon also changed this lyric:

I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me.

To this lyric:

I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me. She ain’t even half of me. That bitch will never be.

Beyonce can fuck herself in the ass with that “half of me” shit. She has a lot of nerve singing that when “Resentment” was originally sung by Posh Spice. And Beyonce doesn’t even have half of the nightingale vocal skills that Posh Spice has and she never will.

BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Well, it could be one of two things. This could be another calculated move from Beyonce and Jay-Z and they’ll keep dropping hints like this throughout the tour and during the final show, she’ll serve him divorce papers while singing “Irreplaceable.” Or Beyonce is letting Jay-Z know that he better keep his sluttin’ ways on the down low or she’ll leave a trail of hay from his dressing room to the bottom of the basement stairs where a whoopin’ ass-ready Basement Baby will be waiting for him.

But in more important news, why the hell is Beyonce wearing a wedding outfit? Bitch, you ain’t Miss Havisham.

Ramona Singer Denies That Her Husband Knocked Up A 20-Something Side Piece

Page Six reported this morning that Ramona Singer of The Real Housewives of New York City might be having turtle time all the time to deal with her husband of 27 years, Mario Singer, passing his bare dick to a young blonde socialite. And you probably didn’t read that sentence at all since you made the mistake of staring into Ramona’s crazy eyes and now you’re driving to the nearest discount liquor store to buy every bottle of Ramona Pinot Grigio.

P6’s sources say that 60-year-old Mario met the unnamed blonde socialite type at some fancy party in the Hamptons and the two spent the summer together. Mario and his 20-something trick screwed at his Hamptons house when Ramona wasn’t there and when she got pregnant in August, he paid for the abortion. They kept bumping wet parts and they’re still bumping wet parts.

A source says that she was at a party in the Hamptons and the roommate of Mario’s side piece showed her pictures of his dick.

“The girl said, ‘You’re not going to believe this, but I have to show you some pictures. Mario’s having an affair with my roommate. She showed me a photo on her phone of Mario’s ding-dong. A selfie text of his naked body, in the girl’s apartment!”

Ramona told Hollywood Life that it’s not true.

Ramona is a human bottle of Pinot filled with equal parts delusion and insanity, so even if she caught Mario giving it to a socialite (Side note: The hell kind of socialite has a roommate?) raw dog style, she’d close the blinds on her STAINS eyes and pretend she didn’t see anything. I mean, this is the 56-year-old crazy mess who thought a fetus, not menopause, was to blame for her period not coming.

But I refuse to believe any of this until I see solid (meaning it better be hard) proof! And yes that’s me saying that I really want to see Mario Singer’s 60-year-old dick. Judge me all you want, just judge me while showing me Mario’s naked selfie.

Pure Poetry: The Wife Of ChaCha’s Creator Accuses Him Of Cheating On Her And Goes Off On Twitter

Before I get to the tweets of beautiful poetry that VeeVee Jones tweeted last night, let me give your ass some background. 53-year-old Scott Jones (pictured with Vee above) is the creator of the search engine ChaCha and The Daily Mail says that he’s worth around $150 million and lives in a huge estate in Carmel, Indiana. A few years ago, Scott Jones met professional poker player (A POKAH PLAYA!) VeeVee on Match.com. VeeVee writes on her site that a month after they met in person, she got knocked up with her first kid and his fourth kid. A month before she gave birth to their baby, he passed his dick to a side piece. Just when VeeVee was about to leave Scott, he was diagnosed with cancer. She stayed, they worked through their shit and she became his third wife on 11/11/11. VeeVee got pregnant last summer and a few months into her pregnancy, she found out that Scott was dicking Renee Larr, a married PR assistant at his company. And that brings us to last night when VeeVee called out Scott and Renee on Twitter and dropped many priceless lines like, “If only her husband knew that every kiss he gave her, he was tasting my husband’s deposits.”

VeeVee claims that her husband, or someone who works for her husband, deleted most of her Twitter rant, but Valleywag and The Daily Dot copied some of them.

You blew him for a michael khors bag? Bitch I would’ve got you a MK bag just to leave us be… Jeeesh

Hey anyone else want a piece of my husband get in line. Hoes would fuck for a cheap handbag. Isn’t that prostitution? Man at least a birkin.

Ruff ruff. Wonder if your husband knows? That you blow your boss? And then kiss him afterwards? You’re trifling good for nothing.

Goddamnit she’s so ugly it makes me feel ugly lol

He calls me bipolar when I call him a cheater pumpkin water :-/ go figure

While I’m pregnant with his 5th baby, named after him, to save our marriage. He screws that ugly dog :-/ I’m so hurt & this is venting

Don’t feel bad for me people… Apparently I can buy anything I want… But love just wasn’t for sale :-/

I think he has a sexual addiction. He’s like a dog. And his natural green herbs helps him like my natural greens help me with my problems.

What do you call a man marry a ghetto chic from Philly without a prenup & cheats on her? FUCKED That’s what you should call him :-/

And VeeVee wasn’t done. She dropped this on her site last night:

Abandoned me while I was pregnant during the holidays, puking 6 times a day and opening up my company to save our home… Having a baby to save our marriage. He decides to fuck this dog :-/

Ugly ass dog, her body is even funny looking along with her face. I thought at least a butter face, but this bitch was ugly throughout.

Then this morning, VeeVee’s rage turned into sadness:

I’m dying inside if you don’t know already… It’s killing me.
I’m hurt and pissed off… But will always want him in my life. Six years together, and he fucked up once… The whole entire 6 years wasn’t bad. We will always be together…
Maybe not as husband and wife, but he’ll always be my best friend.

Scott Jones hasn’t said anything about this on Twitter and I’m with him, I don’t know what to say. My mouth opened at “You blew him for a michaelk khors bag,” the popcorn went in at “Man at least a birkin,” I fell into the coffin at “trifling good for nothing,” I closed the coffin door at, “cheater pumpkin water” and I declared VeeVee my new hero at, “FUCKED that’s what you should call him.”

And I was about to laugh at Renee Larr for sucking dick for a bag she can get at T.J. Maxx, but then I remembered that I’ve done a lot more (no comment) for a lot less (zero MK bags).

Ashton Kutcher Might Be Cheating On Mila Kunis Already

Here’s Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis at the Lakers game at the Staples Center in L.A. last night and there’s a good reason for why she looks like she’s smelling random coochie fumes wafting off of his crotch. Sara Leal, the side trick who Ashton cheated on Demi Moore with, is telling Star Magazine (via HL) that his wandering peen is still wandering from side ho to side ho and one of his side hos is her friend’s friend’s friend.

Sara says that not too long ago one of her friends (let’s call her my favorite name Concepcion) showed her a picture that Concepcion’s friend (let’s call her my other favorite name Chardonnay) sent her. The picture was of Ashton Kutcher in his pajamas and Chardonnay claims that her friend (let’s call her my other other favorite name Everleigh) took it, because Everleigh is doing him part-time. Sara tells Star that she didn’t totally believe Chardonnay at first, but Chardonnay has been inside of Ashton’s house in L.A. when he was there with Everleigh. Sara put it like this:

“It could just be an innocent picture, but I think it’s also possible he’s not dating Mila exclusively. Not just because of that photo, but because he’s cheated before. That would definitely be a red flag for me, if I were dating someone who’d cheated on their wife. I would hate for Mila to have the same experience as Demi. I wouldn’t wish that situation on anyone. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If I were Mila, I’d be careful.”

So to recap: Sara thinks Ashton is fucking around on Mila, because she saw a picture of him in his pajamas that Everleigh sent to Chardonnay who sent to Concepcion who showed it to Sarah. CONFUSING! Let’s make this simple: Ashton is doing Mila, Concepcion, Everleigh, Chardonnay and everybody else, because he is a slut who can’t stop slutting. There, glad we could clear that up.

And more importantly, is that Shia LaBeouf’s goddess of a mother next to that slut Ashton?