Category: Paris Jackson

Conrad Murray Alleges Joe Jackson Chemically Castrated Michael Jackson

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

I hope you’ve enjoyed your day so far, because it’s about to get gross and dark. Happy Thursday!

Conrad Murray, the shady doctor who served two years for manslaughtering Michael Jackson, is back with a message. And it is not a pleasant one. As you may be aware, the patriarch of the Jackson family, Joe Jackson, recently died. Well, Conrad heard about the death and he had some words to say about it. Continue reading

Nobody Told Paris Jackson The Whole Family Was Getting Together For Janet’s Big Show

May 22, 2018 / Posted by:

This past weekend when Janet Jackson won the Icon award at the Billboard Music Awards, many members of the Jackson clan were in attendance including Prince Michael, Katherine and Rebbie Jackson. Michael’s ghost and a whiff of the lingering odor of moldering leather that proves the continuing existence of Joe Jackson, were also there. Not there; Paris Jackson. According to People, it sounds like Paris got dropped off the family text thread (lucky! I wish my family would boot me from mine. My campaign of exclusively responding with RuPaul’s Drag Race GIFs that nobody understands is not working!).

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Paris Jackson And Cara Delevigne Kissed, But Aren’t Dating

March 24, 2018 / Posted by:

The Daily Mail posted a pap pic of seriously-eyebrowed model Cara Delevigne, 25, kissing up on Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson, 19, outside of Los Angeles steakhouse Carlito’s on Thursday night. Reportedly on a double date with Paris’ godfather Macaulay Culkin, Cara and Paris, who met at last year’s MTV Movie Awards, smooched outside and did a cute little paparazzi-lurin’ dance. This might seem to confirm the rumors that they’ve been dating. But, nay, People quotes a source (I’m guessing Gramma Katherine Jackson because she probably clutched the pearls and died twice when saw the pics) as saying they’re not.

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Paris Jackson Was Mistaken For A Homeless Person

May 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Nudity activist Paris Jackson was waiting to begin a photo shoot when she was approached by someone on the set who told her to scram because “homeless people aren’t allowed in this area.” Was it because she was naked and they assumed she couldn’t afford clothes? Maybe she could at least put some drawers on, Ms. Jackson If You A Limousine Hippie Heiress, so these sort of embarrassing mix-ups don’t happen.

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Paris Jackson On Nudity

May 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Michael Jackson’s daughter and future avenging angel, Paris Jackson, posted a picture of herself on Snapchat sans top (but with ladybug pasties). As can be expected, some felt this was inappropriate. I don’t know, she was posing with her dog. It didn’t seem like it was salacious or anything. Unless pups aren’t ready for titties? Do dogs even notice that sort of thing? Mine only care about food.

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At Least Someone Did Herself Up In The Theme! 

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Every year, there’s always a giant chunk of celebrities at the Met Gala who completely wet fart on the theme and go with their own, which is usually: Rejected Dresses Leftover From Awards Season. Even Anna Wintour showed up to this year’s Met Gala in some dusty dress that Carol Channing definitely wore a million times better in the 1960s (see: Anna Wintour in the gallery below looking like a sad lamp from Liberace’s least favorite guest room). While watching the Vogue live feed of the Met Gala last night, some bland, I forgot who, said something about how she wanted to be comfortable. Bitch, if you want to be comfortable, stay at home in your sweats and t-shirt and watch the live feed while sitting on your futon like the rest of us do! You’re doing the Met Gala completely wrong if it doesn’t take six assistants, a registered nurse, a long plastic hose, a thing of KY and a janitor with a mop to help you piss.

But in last night’s sea of basic (see: the sea of basic in the gallery after the cut), there were a few bright spots of fuckery who actually paid attention in class when the theme was given. Enter: RiRi!

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