Open Post: Hosted By Paris Hilton Recreating The Britney Spears Car Photo That Lindsay Lohan “Crashed”
Paris Hilton doesn’t exactly have the range to headline a Las Vegas residency, and she’s too prim and proper (cough) to open a bar and use its train wreck employees for a reality show – that’s for lowlife like her Aunt Kyle Richards’ frenemy Lisa Vanderpump! Instead, she’ll just go back to her own strengths: media whoring! Back in the glory days of being famous for just being a THOT at the Kitson cash register, there was a certain 2006 car ride with Paris, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears that paid for every paparazzi in the parking lot’s mortgage payment for three years. Paris has gone on to say LiLo crashed the car ride (LiLo denies this), so now she recreated the car ride with what it seems like is who she would have wanted to tag along?
It’s already off to the damn races for the 2020 Oscars, and Elton John helped Taron Egerton launch his campaign to become Rami Malek 2.0 last night. Elton always throws a big Oscars bash since it’s his annual big dick contest with Madonna and her own Oscars bash. Taron, who is playing Elton in the upcoming Rocketman, actually sang “Tiny Dancer” at Elton’s party, and El was more than happy to oblige since Madge and Gaga’s publicity stunt couldn’t DARE be the news of the night.
Lil’ Kim Stomped The House Down At The Blonds’ NY Fashion Week Show Where Paris Hilton Also Appeared
Last night, the fashion designer duo, The Blonds, held their annual New York Fashion Week fashion show, and if you think I’ve used the word “fashion” excessively in this sentence, well that’s just a reflection of how much fashion was on display. Not only were the clothes drenched in “Capital F-Fashion”, one model in particular was face fucking the audience with a 24-karat gold fashion strap-on. And even though she still owes me a ligament, I have to hand it to Lil’ Kim, she absolutely brought it on the runway and closed out the show by spraying everybody with a golden shower of high fashion face, funk and body-ody-ody! Paris Hilton was also there.
Lindsay Lohan is really out here trying to shill her new reality show Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club so she stopped by Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show to talk to him and promote it. Since Andy is the biggest shit-stirrer this side of a toilet flush, he brought up how Paris Hilton dragged Lindsay on his show last month. Paris said that Lindsay crashed her night out with Britney Spears in 2006 and that’s how the “iconic” (was it?) photo called “Three Wrecks Sitting In A Car” was created. Well, Lindsay is here to defend her “good” name (is it?).
I’ve been seeing a little too much of Paris Hilton these days and it makes me wonder if perhaps I’ve woken up in 2006 when her stale gaze and trademarked vocal fry terrorized us all on a daily basis. For whatever reason she keeps popping up like Punxsutawney Phil which means we all must be living inside of some kind of fame whore reboot of Groundhog Day remake with a shittier cast. And since we’re on the subject of 2006, Paris was on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show last week and talked about that trinity of mess picture of her with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan as they were crammed into a tiny sports car like drunken circus clowns outside of the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Tis the season for fame whoring, fa la la la la. And what better person to bring all of the fame whores together than Kris Jenner, better known as The Grinch Who Stole Attention. Kris usually hosts the Koven’s annual party, but this year, her former #1 girl (that title belongs to Kylie Jenner) Kim Karashian and Kanye West hosted the part at their mansion. There were many celebrities in attendance including Kim’s former employer Paris Hilton.