For the second time in twice as many months, Paris Hilton has taken time out of her busy schedule of ring-polishing and DJing to drag Lindsay Lohan on social media. Eh, I’m sure Lindsay appreciates the Google alert.
The Cut noticed that Paris commented on an Instagram video posted yesterday by a fan account. The video was from 2006, in which a much-fresher Lindsay tells paparazzi that Paris hit her with a drink at a party. Lindsay later walked back her story for a new set of photographers, saying Paris was her friend, and that her friend would never hurt her.
Paris could have kept her shadiness subtle by simply liking the video of Lindsay being peak-messy. Instead, she chose to comment with a laughing-till-crying emoji and the hashtag #PathologicalLiar. Hmmmm….Lindsay said something that clearly wasn’t true? Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think the black kid maybe wasn’t driving after all.
It’s really too bad that Paris and Lindsay can’t get along. They seem like a perfect match for each other. They both still love those mid-2000s thick n’ long hair extensions, they’re still spending most of their time in clubs, and they love attention. Honestly, 50 years from now, if you put them in a dilapidated home filled with cigarettes and EDM music, you’ve got a great remake of Grey Gardens.
Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are in the news. Well, to be fair, Paris Hilton is in the news for talking about Lindsay. Lindsay only makes the news in Greece these days…
Firstly, allow me to say hello. Hello! My name is Kristian and this is my first day at Dlisted! I am a wannabe writer living in Toronto, who spends my time playing video games, smoking weed and making myself angry by reading the news before smoking even more weed. Now go look up some Jack’s Mannequin on AppleMusic and turn that shit up to eleven: it’s time to get 2006-level moody.
TMZ reports that a hacker by the name of Paytsar Bkhchadzhyan will be sentenced in federal court on Monday for digitally relieving Paris Hilton of $130,000 of her probably not that hard-earned dollars. She’s also been found guilty of siphoning nekkid pics of the early 2000s
SHIT girl from Hilton’s iCloud account. Continue reading
The Leftovers was a fantastic show (and not just because Justin Theroux’s character liked to jog). You would reason that an intelligent human being associated with such a quality show would have the taste NOT to ask selfie inventress and celebrity Trumpette Paris Hilton to marry him. Unfortunately, brilliance isn’t contagious. (Although, he’s a big mess himself.)
Speaking of contagious, Paris Hilton recently got engaged to Leftovers actor Chris Zylka. He proposed to her with a $2 million dollar ring that YOU KNOW her ass bought. Perhaps thinking of a certain ex-bestie wrapped up in tape and jewel-less in a Parisian bathtub, Hilton has hired 24-7 security to guard her ring. Safes? Has she heard of safes?
TMZ reports that Paris has around-the-clock guards posted at her home because of a recent string of burglaries, including one that occurred at her aunt Kyle Richards’ place. Paris is so nervous that someone will risk something communicable and snatch the rock off of her claw that she also has plainclothes security dudes following her at all times. Imagine you work at an elite Beverly Hills security company and your latest assignment is to guard Paris Hilton’s weddin’ finger? And reportedly they’re ALWAYS with her. Lord knows where that finger’s been (lately it’s been up Trump’s ass).
In her defense, Sofia Coppola made a whole movie about Paris’ house being burgled so she probably has legit reason to fear the worst. But isn’t that sort of item insured for theft? Didn’t Paris, I mean Chris keep the receipt?
And note to Chris: this is a good preview of the rest of your life (aka the three months your marriage will last until your bride has milked it dry for publicity).
Paris Hilton is supposed to be some kind of grown ass woman these days but it seems like she’s having a hard time letting go of the past. She disappeared for awhile and was blissfully absent from the public eye for several years only to reemerge when the she noticed that the atmosphere was hospitable for petty, egomaniacal, wispy haired people with namesake hotels, a penchant for revisionist history, manipulating the media and gaslighting their enemies. And so, much like a herpes flareup, Paris is back and it’s embarrassing.