Category: Panty Creamer of the Day

Rob McElhenney Talked About How Easy It Was To Get His Body In Chippendales’ Shape For “It’s Always Sunny…”

September 7, 2018 / Posted by:

With Ryan Murphy on his way to Netflix, FX had to give us thirsty hos a reason to still tune in for shows with hunka-hunka burning pieces of man meat. I just never expected it to be Mac from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Since the 7thseason, Mac has been a little more – ah – voluptuous because he tried to “cultivate mass” in the so-called wrong way to get muscle. Well, the 13thseason dropped this week, and Mac is a Grade-A tall glass of leche.

Vulture and others say that while it still isn’t clear on the show why Mac got so buff, Rob McElhenney took to Instagram to tell us how: if you’re willing to give up Chili’s, booze, and, in general, anything remotely fun, you can ALSO have a jacked body…and be a fun sponge:

Yep, that’s nine hours of sleeping, six days of lifting, three miles of running (daily), no carbs or booze…and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, that and a studio that will pay for your ass to work with a trainer who will humiliate you for even thinking about Krispy Kreme.  Rob previously told Reuters of what it took to gain the 50 pounds to be “Fat Mac,” and that was five 1,000-calorie meals each day, and I’m a little stunned. All the years, and I just assumed that’s what all the celebrity trainers meant were your five “tiny” meals a day to lose weight!

Pic: Instagram

The Answer To The Question “Is It Possible For My Ears To Orgasm?” Has Been Answered! 

August 30, 2018 / Posted by:

When Prince Hot Ginge told Duchess Meghan that they were going to the THI-TURR last night, she must’ve figured they were going to go see Chicago, because she looked like she was ten seconds away from swirling out a Bob Fosse jazz hand while singing, “… the name on everybody’s lips is gonna be MEY-GHAN!” (see: the Roxie Hart shit she wore to the theater in the video after the cut). But they went to see Hamilton instead. The performance was a gala to raise money for PHG’s charity Sentebale, which helps children and young people living with HIV in Lesotho and Botswana. At the end of the show, PHG got onstage to thank everyone and while up there, he crooned out bits of a Hamilton song into a mic. That mic is now pregnant with little ginger mic babies. Those ginger mic babies will be seventh in line to the throne.

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Presenting The Duke And Duchess Of SuckItPeasants

May 19, 2018 / Posted by:

Or maybe, their official royal title is: Duke and Duchess of SucksToBeYouWhores. I can’t remember which one THE QUEEN went with.

I’m currently standing outside of a Best Buy waiting for the Geek Squad to open, and that could mean only one thing: I need to get my TV fixed because I charged at it, knocking it off the wall after the Archbishop of Canterbury Tales asked if anyone objects to this union. Or at least I think he said that. It could’ve been a case of wishful thinking mixed with sleep deprivation on my part. But it is official: Duchess Meghan (née Rachel Meghan Markle) became my idol/forever object of my jealousy, because not only does she get to jump on Prince Hot Ginge’s fiery royal crotch scepter on the regular, but she now she gets to do it as his legally wedded spouse.

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FYI, The Rock Eats Coochie 

May 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Thanks to an unearthed interview from 2014, everyone sent their thoughts and prayers to the poon of DJ Khaled’s wife Nicole Tuck (although, would you want DJ Khaled’s mouth on your poon?) after he said that he doesn’t lick the cooch. Because according to DJ Khaled, men are kings and kings get serviced, they don’t do any servicing. And you know DJ Dick Fart doesn’t do the gentlemanly thing of lifting his FUPA before his wife goes down on him, and you also know that he screams DJ KHAAAAAAAAAALED while she’s doing it.

Evan Rachel Wood, Smash Mouth, and even the dictionary dragged DJ Khaled. The Rock also got into the subject and made it clear that he licks the box like a mic at a WWE match.

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Panty Creamer Of The Day: Charlie Hunnam In A Suit

April 6, 2017 / Posted by:

After a day of posts about Lyme disease fakers, Suge Knight shit, Shia LaBeouf going nuts again and the death of Don Rickles, what we all need is a dose Charlie Hunnam in a suit. I won’t even ruin this moment by copy and pasting a new quote he dribbled out about ignoring his girlfriend for months for the sake of his art. Not today.

Charlie, seen above working a Parasite Hilton wonk eye, put on his best movie star drag for last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Lost City of Z. Charlie has a true Hollywood glow about him and I’m talking about that damn thick bronzer. Charlie’s makeup artist must’ve set the bronzer gun to “Real Housewife At A Reunion Show” and went wild. Trick looks like he’s been making out and rubbing his face against Mr. Jay from America’s Next Top Model, and yes I want pictures.

Charlie is also the opposite of Stephanie “Excuse My Beauty” Yellowhair, because while she likes tans on her legs, not face, he likes tans on his face, not the rest of his body. Charlie is new-ish to this movie star thing, so I’ll forgive him for not matching his hands to his face.

And here’s more pictures from last night’s premiere including Robert Pattinson (working hair that I’m guessing was cut by a hyperactive toddler with safety scissors), Sienna Miller (who wore a dress made of crib skirts) and a skinny Brad Pitt who was dressed like a grandpa going to an off track betting place.

Pics: Wenn.com

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