Tommy Lee hasn’t had a good shakeup since he got stuck upside down on that roller coaster. For a man who is the living embodiment of “yeesh”, he’s kept his nose fairly clean lately. Sadly, his clean nose days are officially over because he recently had his face bloodied by his own son Brandon Lee after the two allegedly got into an argument over a tweet Tommy tweeted criticizing Brandon’s mom Pamela Anderson, according to TMZ.
Because we live in the Upside Down from Stranger Things, Pamela Anderson is now trying to lead diplomatic talks on behalf of someone the U.S. wants to send to jail for espionage. Current U.S. leadership is particularly susceptible to a little T&A distraction, she actually might get what she wants. Page Six says Pam was filming a PSA (hopefully not another against Uber) at a hotel in Manhattan when she realized Mike Pence was also at the same address. Considering how Pam is suddenly on a crusade against porn, I’m sure she had a lot to talk about with Mike. But only if his wife is there, too!
It has been way too long since we’ve been blessed with Pamela Anderson’s profound poetry. She’s back and the good news is she’s still got it. The bad news is, it gets a little awkward due to the fact that her subject this time around is Julian Assange.
When Pamela Anderson feels strongly about something, she’s not afraid to let everyone know about it. Pamela Anderson is a vocal animal lover, anti-porn crusader, and now she’s speaking out about the dangers of (cue dramatic music)…RIDE SHARING APPS. Ride sharing companies like Uber and Lyft are right up there with padded bras and being married to Rick Salomon on the list of things Pamela Anderson doesn’t like.
Some People On Twitter Think That Pamela Anderson Is A Secret Assassin Who Poisoned Julian Assange With Vegan Food
Earlier I wrote about how Azealia Banks was kicked out of Russell Crowe’s hotel suite after allegedly acting a mess. And now I’m writing about how a few people on Twitter believe that Pamela Anderson murdered Julian Assange with a poisoned vegan sandwich. I fully expect my next post to be a truthful story about how Bat Boy recently butt birthed out the bat/alien baby he made with Benedict Cumberbatch, because today’s theme is: stories that read like they were ripped out of The Weekly World News.
All together now: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
2016 is not only showing us that it’s the worst year ever, it’s also showing us that it’s the year of redefining ridiculousness. Case in point: Canadian-American sex blossom Pamela Anderson has joined forces with “celebrity rabbi” Schmuley Boteach to write an op-ed piece for The Wall Street Journal about how watching porn is destroying lives! The only thing that porn is responsible for destroying in my life is a keyboard or two, but okay.
I know, Pamela Anderson shaming tricks for watching porn. What’s next? One of the Kartrashians is going to “write” an anti-ass implant op-ed piece for their pay site? John Travolta is going to do a PSA about the dangers of wearing wigs? We can all close our eyes until 2017 because we have seen it all (but I’ll open mine here and there to watch porn).