In the tower of his fancy London political asylum cell, Julian Assange is celebrating like a giddy boy today with the news that Pamela Anderson has dumped her World Cup winning French soccer star boyfriend Adil Rami after he reportedly gave her a Cartier pre-engagemnt ring. Pamela, who customarily likes her men a bit more skinny and dirt baggy, has apparently had enough of Adil’s healthy soccer player glow and has kicked him to the curb after about a year of living together. Continue reading
While you can expect her at your neighborhood vegan café or Julian Assange’s anywhere, you will never find one Miss Pamela Anderson joyously playing slap and tickle with two other souls in the bedroom. Pam may have done a lot in her years, but one thing she says she is not a fan of is the art of the menage a trois. What a Baywatch prude! Continue reading
“Help me Kanye, you’re my only hope” – Pamela Anderson Hologram, 2018
That’s the chilling message Pam wants Kanye West to receive in a letter she penned to America’s newest champion of free speech. On her Pamela Anderson Foundation website (dedicated to all things PETA, poetry and “Challenging communities- and Politics world wide–in a provocative way”), Pam posted a letter to Kanye asking him for a show of public support for her BFF Julian Assange who’s still posted up at the Ecuador Embassy Suites in London.
Tommy Lee hasn’t had a good shakeup since he got stuck upside down on that roller coaster. For a man who is the living embodiment of “yeesh”, he’s kept his nose fairly clean lately. Sadly, his clean nose days are officially over because he recently had his face bloodied by his own son Brandon Lee after the two allegedly got into an argument over a tweet Tommy tweeted criticizing Brandon’s mom Pamela Anderson, according to TMZ.
Because we live in the Upside Down from Stranger Things, Pamela Anderson is now trying to lead diplomatic talks on behalf of someone the U.S. wants to send to jail for espionage. Current U.S. leadership is particularly susceptible to a little T&A distraction, she actually might get what she wants. Page Six says Pam was filming a PSA (hopefully not another against Uber) at a hotel in Manhattan when she realized Mike Pence was also at the same address. Considering how Pam is suddenly on a crusade against porn, I’m sure she had a lot to talk about with Mike. But only if his wife is there, too!
It has been way too long since we’ve been blessed with Pamela Anderson’s profound poetry. She’s back and the good news is she’s still got it. The bad news is, it gets a little awkward due to the fact that her subject this time around is Julian Assange.