Padma Lakshmi, seen above looking all pregnant seven years ago, is currently hustling her new memoir, Love, Loss and What We Ate. We already know that Padma’s book contains a garden center’s worth of dirt about her messy relationship with her ex-husband Salman Rushdie. And now we know that she also gets into the “Who’s The Daddy?” drama surrounding her pregnancy.
The pinnacle of memoirs and memoir writing, Katie Price, has a new esteemed colleague in the world of celebrity biographies. Let’s give a warm welcome to Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi. That’s right! Give her a hand! Padma, please tell us about you, your life and the days of it. The New York Daily News got their hands on a copy of Padma’s forthcoming autobiography, Love, Loss and What We Ate.
The bulk of what’s been released has to do with Padma’s messy relationship with author and Taken villain-looking person, Salman Rushdie. She and Salman met in 1999 at a party when she was 28 and he was 51. He was also married at the time. Despite that, he wanted her body bad and chased after her. They eventually went out and she says they ended up sans ropas that first night. Of it, she writes, “At 3am, I woke with a start. I’m naked in a married man’s bed.” I can’t read that without going directly to the part in cinematic masterpiece, Obsessed, where Beyonce shouts “Naked?! In your bed?!”
Charli XCX, who you may remember as the Tai to Iggy Azalea’s Cher, has been slowly inching her way into the Red Carpet Fuckery Hall of Fame for a while now. She’s slithered onto the red carpet looking like sloppy n’ slutty Morticia Addams. She showed up to last year’s Grammys looking like a rode-hard put-away-wrecked Super Star Ken doll.
And last night she proved she still really really wants a permanent spot in the Most Committed wing by sashaying onto the red carpet of the amfAR New York Gala looking like a picture of your messiest cousin from her first wedding in 1992 right before she threw a glass of wine in the groom’s face during a slow-dance to “Secret Lovers.”
In case you’re following the revolving door that is The View, ABC announced today that Joy Behar will make her triumphant return and joining her next season will be Candace Cameron Bure and Paula Faris of Good Morning America Weekend. Starting in September, those three will sit next to Whoopi Goldberg, Raven Symone and Michelle Collins. I also heard that ABC is going to replace the table with a cage, so that none of them can escape as they eat each other alive.
Last month, there were rumors that DJ Tanner and Paula Faris were in talks to join The View full-time. Producers wanted Paula, because she’s a news person and they wanted DJ Tanner, because their mouths salivated over all the attention they got for a clip of her and Raven fighting about a lesbian wedding cake. There was also a rumor that producers were trying to get Joy. Joy admitted that she was in talks, but said that a deal fell through, because producers refused to give her more power and a bigger role. Either Joy was lying or the producers eventually gave her what she wanted.
As expected, the producers have also put together a group of subs who will fill in whenever a regular is out. That group includes Sherri Shepherd, Stacy London, Molly Sims, political commentator Ana Navarro and Padma Lakshmi.
To those of us who still watch this wreck, are we taking bets on who will be out first? I’m going to go with Joy and Raven. Their heads will pop off as soon as DJ Tanner opens her mouth while discussing Christian persecution.
And there comes a time in every American woman’s life when she becomes a co-host on The View. I’m going to call my mom now and congratulate her about being named a co-host on The View and when she says, “But I’m not,” I’ll say, “But you will be….soon.“
Page Six says that understated gold digger and host of Top Chef Padma Lakshmi and the Dalai Lama’s homeboy Richard Tiffany Gere have been casually bumping nipples while he’s shooting a movie called Time Out Of Mind in NYC. The 64-year-old zen silver fox is currently in the middle of divorcing his second wife Cary Lowell and 43-year-old Padma dated billionaire Teddy Forstmann until he died of brain cancer in 2011. Page Six’s source says that Padma and Richard are keeping it casual right now, so they’re not exactly sharing a toothbrush after they suck on each other’s down low parts.
“They have been quietly spending some time together. It is all very new and recent, and happened while he has been filming in New York.”
A source at UsWeekly co-signs what Page Six’s source said.
Padma lives in NYC with her 3-year-old daughter Krishna whom she made with Adam Dell. She was married to Salman Rushdie for three years.
These two together makes TOO much sense and I’m surprised it took them this long to start humping on each other. Richard Gere’s nipples throb for seasoned model types with a strong jawline that could crack open a coconut and if Padma doesn’t pull white pubes out of her teeth after blowing a dude, she’s not fucking with him full-time. They’re perfect for each other and will probably go all the way. We’ll know if things are really serious if on a future episode of Top Chef, Padma tells the chefs that for their Quickfire Challenge they have to make an amuse-bouche using dead gerbils that are covered in Crisco and some kind of weird jelly.