Diddy may still be pining over Cassie but that doesn’t mean he’s holed up in his house trying to move on by coming up with new names for himself (he only did that for a minute, so far he’s rejected Uncle Amore, D. Pitty, Putty Tat, Mister Pitty Pat, and Brother Can You Spare A Dime Bag). No, Diddy has been out enjoying life as only a jilted millionaire can by hosting yacht parties and kicking it with your son’s 22-year-old (rumored) ex-girlfriend who also happens to be Steve Harvey’s stepdaughter. According to Madame Noire, Diddy and Lori Harvey were seen together at a Miami reggae club.
Someone out there really hates P. Diddy because the New York Post is reporting that one amongst us took the time out of our weekend to go to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Manhattan and knock his statue to the goddamn floor. Vengeance was had! …Or something. The motive here is unclear but the fact remains there is one less creepy, lifelike wax figure in the world.
Danity Kane was one of those girl groups of the early-aughts that was formed on TV during the boom of reality television. Diddy‘s MTV series, Making The Band, saw Danity Kane get chosen to become the next big thing and then at the end of the third season of their reality show, he fired two of the five Kanes. DK eventually broke up. But Danity Kane is back as a threesome with group members Dawn Richard, Aubrey O’Day, and Shannon Bex,and they’re touring. They’re also telling Cosmopolitan all about the dark behind the scenes secrets of the show and Diddy, and it’s as sexist as you can imagine.
GQ’s cover man of the month is Love. How’s that you say? Is it like when Time’s person of the year was “You”? No, it’s not like that at all. Love is Diddy. Sean Combs. Puff Daddy. P Diddy. Diddy Diddy Oxen Free. Diddy Though? She Already Diddy Done Had Hers. Look, I did a lot of Diddy name jokes the last time and the time before that so cut me some slack.
Even though he pulled a Ben Affleck and told us a lie to save face, it’s Love now. End of story. Love is on the cover of GQ and he told them about a rough patch he went through that drove him to wander the desert like Caine to deal with his cell phone addiction.
Well, thanks a fucking lot, Diddy. Now I have to write a retraction. You guys, Brother Love was only playing. According to Page Six, Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy and Just Plain Old Diddy are still the names of that guy from yesterday who said his name was Brother Love. Jesus Christ, this man is exhausting.
Sean Combs aka P. Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Puffy aka Stay Puffed (which clearly he do be) announced that’s he’s changing his name up once again. The artist formally known as “Biggie’s ‘Lil Friend” shall now be referred to as Love. You may also call him Brother Love. Please update your contacts lists accordingly. If you have a P. Diddy tattoo, make an appointment with the laser surgeon. Brother Love will no longer be responding to those other names so don’t even try it. You’ll only embarrass yourself.