Variety is reporting that Ozzy Osbourne has been set-up in the hospital because of a bad case of the flu. Damn girl, this is why you get the flu shot! Or, like me and all the other ethnic people I know: drink tons of lemon and ginger tea. (It works, girl.)
Considering he has led a life that involved taking a chomp out of a bat and not exactly always being the best-behaved husband to Sharon Osbourne, I figured if Ozzy Osbourne ever died it’d be in some wacko reason – likely caused by Sharon or that bat’s offspring in a quest of Kill Bill revenge. Alas, Ozzy has trucked along for a while, but he did have a life-threatening scare recently – caused by the neighborhood manicurist.
I can’t be sure, but based on Sharon Osbourne’s recent confession about her sex life, I want to believe Ozzy Osbourne is leaning in and asking: “Oi Sharaaaan, I heard it’s National Punctuation Day. So can I comma in your colon tonight or what?”
Things appear to be getting back to normal on The Talk after the drama of Julie Chen’s recent exit, and by “normal,” I of course mean diving into the deep end of Sharon’s personal life with her husband.
Dirty diapers are a known killer of marriages. Child of celebrity and former reality TV moppet Jack Osbourne, 32, and his wife Lisa, 31, are divorcing. The Blast reports that Lisa filed on Friday and cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason. At least she was gracious and didn’t just type “in-laws.” Seriously, imagine having to hang out with that family? Sister Kelly Osbourne’s overly mouthy, you can’t understand a word father Ozzy Osbourne says, and family matriarch Sharon Osbourne sent feces to the people she doesn’t like via the US Postal Service. Scratch that. Hanging with Sharon might be fun. She seems feisty.
According to Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne has a type. And that type is largely based on proximity and convenience. Sharon says that Ozzy has had six mistresses over the courses of their 35 year marriage and that he was super lazy about how he courted them. Only six? Sure, Jan.
Earlier today I wrote about Michelle Pugh, Ozzy Osbourne’s celebrity hairstylist side piece of four years, talking to People about her recently-ended affair with Ozzy. Michelle said she still dreams about Ozzy, and that he gave her the “greatest love” she’d ever known. Michelle even accepted Ozzy’s decision to leave Michelle and go back to Sharon Osbourne. All in all, it sounded like Michelle had nothing but love in her heart for that old mumbling bat biter. Michelle’s interview was completely devoid of cheater drama. Well, it turns out there is some major drama between Michelle Pugh and an Osbourne, just not the one she was carrying on a 4-year affair with.