Everything’s coming up O today! No, I’m not talking about the several Os I busted out after reading that my dream job (In-N-Out manager) pays $160,000 a year. I’m talking about another kind of O: Oprah!
Oprah is on the cover of Vanity Fair’s Hollywood Issue (next to someone I’m told is Nicole Kidman, but believe is really an android of a 20-something Naomi Watts), and she’s also on the cover of InStyle. Oprah’s interview with InStyle was done three weeks before her speech at the Golden Globes, which made many put an Oprah2020 sign on their front lawn. But InStyle’s Laura Brown must have the future-seeing spirit of Miss Cleo running through her veins because she asked Oprah about running for president. Oprah made it clear that she’s not looking to downgrade her opulent lifestyle by moving from her lavish Montecito mega estate to the raggedy shack known as the White House.
I’m so used to seeing Oprah Winfrey giving tons of high-energy excitement on the cover of O Magazine, that it’s a little weird to see her working such drabness on the cover of Vanity Fair’s annual Hollywood Issue. I know the theme of ever Hollywood Issue “Stars who forgot to pop an Ambien the night before and only got 2 hours of sleep,” and I’ll applaud Oprah for playing along. But you know there’s a part of her that wanted to drop Reese Witherspoon, rip off that black satin duvet cover to reveal a shimmering jewel-toned gown underneath, throw up her arms and crank a full-tooth smile behind a headline that reads “2018 Is Your Year To SHINE!”
While Oprah’s speech at Sunday night’s Golden Globes left everyone wondering if the White House was going to have to build an addition so Stedman Graham can take the East Wing and Gayle King can get one, too, not everyone is as O-matized by the talk show host. Seal came for Mama O on Instagram, and it ain’t pretty. Seal, you in danger, girl. Continue reading
I think we can safely blame Trump for this whole Oprah2020 business. If we weren’t so starved for rational, impassioned and coherent rhetoric, we might have been able to simply appreciate Oprah Winfrey’s very good Cecil B. DeMille acceptance speech for what it was. Instead, people got so caught up with the idea of Oprah>Trump that they lost their damn minds.
Last night’s Golden Globes had it all; drama (thank you Winona Ryder), suspense (wondering if Kirk Douglas would live to the end of each sentence), intrigue (Is Susan Sarandon gonna start some shit?!) and most notably, Oprah bringing the house down. Let me rephrase, Oprah BURNT the house down.
Lord knows there’s a lot of scammers out there and Oprah Winfrey is the biggest of them all. She got us out here wearing Uggs, watching Dr. Phil and reading The Secret. Oprah’s probably scammed more people into buying stupid crap than Bernie Madoff, Charles Ponzi and all the princes of Nigeria combined. But most of Oprah’s scams are on the up and up. If you really want to waste your money on Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations by Oprah Winfrey, you’ve only got yourself to blame.