Category: Oprah

Forbes Declares George Lucas The World’s Richest Celebrity, Kylie Jenner Cracked The Top 10

December 19, 2018 / Posted by:

There’s rich, and then there’s Yoda rich. It’s that time of year again when Forbes pokes the hornet’s nest in Hollywood and drops who has the most zeroes in their checking account. Everyone in the top 10 must be pissed because all of them now have a target on their backs for the next time Lindsay Lohan needs bail money. People may not have liked the latest Star Wars movie, but George Lucas DGAF. That Disney check cleared, and his ass can pave his driveway with cash. The rest of the top 10 is kind of expected with the exception of Kris Jenner’s “self-made” daughter, Kylie Jenner, being a new presence. Barf.

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Here’s The Celebrities Who Were At The Royal Wedding 

May 19, 2018 / Posted by:

True story: It was rainy and overcast in London today and just when everyone was about to sing (in their best Alanis Morissette voice), “It’s like raaaaaaaain on your wedding day,” to Meghan Markle, the clouds cleared, the sky turned blue and then sun came out when Oprah appeared!

Oprah was one of the first to show up at St. George’s Chapel for the royal wedding today, which made many brains poot out a “Que?” There’s a rumor that Oprah interviewed Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland, so some think that’s why she was invited to the wedding. But excuse you, while us regular humans may need an invitation to attend something like the royal wedding, Oprah doesn’t. Oprah just shows up and sits wherever she wants. I’d like to see one of those tricks ask Oprah if they can see her invitation. Their skin would end up embedded into the concrete after a lightning bolt from the heavens flattened them.

Oprah pretty much led the non-stop parade of stars that made it through that church today. There were so many celebrities that I thought diabolical red carpet gnome Ryan Seacrest was going to pop up with a mic to asks guests who they’re wearing, I mean, ask them awkwardly worded questions about #MeToo. Warning: Lots of celebrities went to today’s wedding so there’s lot of pictures to scroll through. So stretch your finger, put a workout belt on it, and keep a bottle of water handy for when it gets the heated sweats halfway through and needs to cool off.

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Oprah’s Fancy Bathtub Is A Reminder Of How Poor We All Are

March 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Every once in a while, Hollywood heavyweights have to lay their dicks on the table to show us all how broke AF we all are. When Brangelina was a thing, it was when they bought that entire vineyard in France (even though it appears Brad Pitt couldn’t pay to keep the lights on). Barbra Streisand sent us all a trip to peasanthood when she said she missed her old dog so much, she got it cloned. Twice.

Not to be outdone, Oprah was on The Late Late Show last night, and she said she’s just a normal girl who thinks a bath is an indulgence. Oh, not just any bath, you peon. Oprah has a bathtub that was hand-carved out of marble and onyx to fit to the shape of her body.  Continue reading

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Only God Can Make Oprah Run For President

February 28, 2018 / Posted by:

West Coasters, be on the lookout for a team of scientists wheeling a lightning machine up the road to make some fake sky pyrotechnics in the name of G-O-D outside Oprah’s Montecito mansion. Mama O says the only thing that will make her enter the hornet’s nest of presidential politics is if the man (or lady!) upstairs gives her a clear sign. Continue reading

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Reese Witherspoon Says Leaving An Emotionally Abusive Relationship Helped To Fulfill Her Destiny

February 7, 2018 / Posted by:

If the words “fulfill her destiny” made you immediately think that this also involves Oprah, you’d be correct. Oprah recently sat down with her A Winkle in Time co-stars Reese Witherspoon and Mindy Kaling for a SuperSoul Sunday conversation. Oftentimes Super Soul stuff gets super deep, and that’s exactly what happened when Oprah asked Reese and Mindy about the most difficult decision they had to make to fulfill their destiny. Mindy’s was about realizing she might lose some friends as she succeeded in her career. Reese’s was about getting out of an abusive relationship.

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