Category: Operation Varsity Blues

Olivia Jade Is Back On YouTube After A Year Of Laying Low

January 22, 2021 / Posted by:

I know for me, I have been avoiding things like going to the dentist while COVID-19 is still running rampant and fucking everybody’s shit up. Thankfully, Olivia Jade is back on YouTube with a Vlog so mind-numbingly vapid, watching it is like getting a root canal, with no gas, right from the comfort of your own home!

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Aunt Becky Is Out Of The Clink After Serving Nearly Two Months

December 28, 2020 / Posted by:

If you live around Dublin, CA, you probably woke up this morning to the sound of Survivor by Destiny’s Child blasting loudly, and oh, it was just Lori Loughlin strutting out of prison after surviving almost two hard months of not cleaning her delicate ass on a bidet and sleeping on sheets less than a 1000 thread count. My thoughts and prayers are with the housekeepers at Lori’s downgraded mansion because they probably have to witness the sight of her slobbering on her luxurious bedsheets and lovingly humping on her bidet after being reunited with them.

TMZ says that Lori was released from Federal Correctional Institution, Dublin  (FCI Dublin) this morning, and I’m sure she was expecting a mob of paparazzi welcoming her back into the spotlight. But sorry, Aunt Becky, we’re all busy with dragging a different insufferable rich white woman of privilege who faked shit.

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Mossimo Giannulli Is Now In Protective COVID-Related Custody In Prison

December 20, 2020 / Posted by:

Straight from the files of Adding Insult to Injury, Mossimo Giannulli and his perpetual deer-in-the-headlights-and-resigned-to-roadkill lewk are now sequestered in protective isolation due to COVID-19 concerns, as he completes his five-month sentence for his part in the College Admissions scandal. The aftermath of that what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking crash in judgment seems to be dragging out longer than it takes to get a bachelor’s degree, and in the end, all anyone is going to do is try to brand and rebrand themselves on social media anyway, so just save your money, everyone.

Mossimo and his wife, Lori Loughlin, finally agreed to a plea deal after months of stubbornly clinging to their innocence, which wasn’t working out too well. Lori is currently serving a two-month sentence at a separate facility, and everyone seems to be on the same page that our generation’s Bonnie and Clyde, The Rowing Years should never have been unwittingly crowdfunded by janky fashion shoppers and Hallmark watchers.

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Olivia Jade Is Going To Be On Jada Pinkett Smith’s “Red Table Talk”

December 7, 2020 / Posted by:

With both of her parents currently incarcerated for their starring roles in Operation Varsity Blues, Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli‘s daughter Olivia Jade has been, on occasion, attending various parties around L.A. And one of the benefits of kicking it with the Kardashians is the connections one makes. For Olivia Jade, that means running in the same circles as Jaden and Willow Smith (who else do you think introduced her to the concept of “white privilege“), which she’s parlayed into a seat at Jada Pinkett Smith’s infamous Red Table of Truth. That is if you can believe a word that comes out of her mouth. Otherwise, it’s just a red table in a Facebook studio made to look like a kitchen the Pinkett Smith’s might have if they were poor.

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Felicity Huffman Already Has A Post-Prison Job Lined Up At ABC

December 1, 2020 / Posted by:

A year after serving 11 days of her 14-day sentence at the Pinky’s Up Lite Lockup For Gentile Ladies Of Means, Felicity Huffman is ready to get back to work. According to Deadline, Felicity’s already landed her first post-conviction role in a pilot for a family-friendly comedy described as a “funny, surprising and occasionally heartbreaking half-hour about love, loss, family and Triple-A baseball” for ABC. Felicity will star (yes STAR, no more supporting role for Ms. Huffman, she’s more famous than ever) as “the unlikely owner of a minor-league baseball team” who inherits the team after her husband dies. I guess ABC is hoping that the only thing we remember about Felicity paying $15,000 to have someone fix her daughter’s SAT scores, getting caught, pleading guilty, and going to jail for it, was the adorable way she said “ruh-roh!” when she knew the jig was up.

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Lori Loughlin Will Be Out Of Prison On Christmas Day

November 6, 2020 / Posted by:

There’s some more “Woe is me,” news coming from “sources close to Lori Loughlin.” They’ve really been working hard to make us feel an iota of sympathy for her. Lori and her husband Mossimo Giannulli were sentenced to prison for their roles in the College Admissions Scandal. She started her two-month sentence on October 30 and he’ll begin his five-month sentence after she’s done. Lori was apparently a “wreck” after barely a week, so she’s gonna have a long two-months and so far sources tell InTouch she’s “struggling.” But luckily for her, Lori will be home for Christmas.

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