Category: Open Post

Open Post: Hosted By The OG Auto-Tune Queen Showing Future How It’s Done

September 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Back in the day, the Gap paid randomly paired celebs gobs of cash to pretend like they actually wore that shit for the sake of a good ad. Like Madonna and Missy Elliot trying to out-do each other, or Sarah Jessica Parker ditching those Sex And The City broads to dance around with Lenny Kravitz. Those ads seemed to pay off, since you couldn’t really fire a spitball off in homeroom back in the day without hitting someone in one of those chunky GAP hoodies.

Fast forward to today, and the only thing crowding into a Gap is piles and piles of debt. Execs must be taking a page from the NBC reboot playbook, because we’re now seeing celebs pop up back in ads – like CHER! And…Future? Continue reading

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Open Post: Hosted By This Princess Diana Floral Tribute

September 13, 2017 / Posted by:

As we know, art is subjective and one man’s masterpiece is another man’s toilet bowl that needs scrubbing. They may be the same man but that man’s perspective is key to making a meaningful commentary on creation, representation and aesthetics. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and The Eye of The Beholder should be the title of a Lifetime movie based on controversial “well dressing” done in the likeness of Princess Diana in the quiet British town of Chesterfield.

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Open Post: Hosted By Steven Tyler As A Vision In White

September 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Look, I love a comfortable, loose fitting, crisp white v-neck shirt dress as much as the next guy. It’s elegant, yet understated, simple but classic. It quietly assures “I have money but I’m not going to rub it in your face.” It’s as appropriate at a red carpet event (think Diane Keaton at a Nancy Meyers movie premiere) as it is at a garden party in the Hamptons (think Diane Keaton at Nancy Meyers’ house).

But I’m here to tell you, Steven Tyler has got this classic look twisted. Steven showed up at the Celebrity Fight Night Final Gala 2017 at Cinecitta Studios (how does he get all the good invites?!?!) looking like Martha Stewart on the top, Dr. Frankenstein’s monster on the bottom with some sloppy black pants and chunky black shoes. Those sad, baggy black pants don’t even fit. And not one decorative scarf to tie this look together? I would have expected more out of Steven.

I will hand it to him though. The pockets (who doesn’t love a pocket!) and casually cuffed sleeve are divine, and Steven is doing an excellent job working his angles and finding the light. It’s just…I don’t want to see him flounce onto a cushy white couch clutching a paperback and a glass of pinot gris with those fucking clodhopper boots on!

Here’s some more of Steven in the outfit that was ALMOST perfect.

Pics: Wenn.com

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Open Post: Hosted By This Truly Disturbing Halo Top Ice Cream Commercial

September 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Well, this makes retirement look tasty. And robotic. And like a void empty of family, friends, and light. This commercial is HORRIFYING. It’s like Requiem For A Dream was shot in the final room of 2001: A Space Odyssey which is located in a senior living facility being investigated for elder abuse. They really should put up a disclaimer before it starts, warning you to have your mom nearby for a hug after viewing this awfulness. There’s an old woman, and a robot forcing her to eat ice cream and a very sad revelation at the end. Who is going to want ice cream, especially diet ice cream, after this? It’s more like an ad for euthanasia…

Pic: YouTube

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Open Post: Hosted By Tara Reid’s Latest Cinematic Triumph

September 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Taradise, we barely knew ye. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Meryl Streep successor Tara Reid here on Dlisted that I was beginning to worry about her. Had she quit the biz, and turned to her true calling – the drunk lady at table #15 at the Ruby Tuesday’s off the highway in Hackensack, NJ? No – she’s still kicking! Coming off her highly acclaimed work in the Sharknado quadrology, Tara immediately took a roll in future Criterion Classic Andy The Talking Hedgehog. That howling laughter you hear coming from Donnie Wahlberg’s house is Jenny McCarthy. (Luckily for her, she turned the role down.)

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