Category: Okay

Kanye West’s Saint Pablo Tour Is Probably Forever Done

December 21, 2016 / Posted by:

When Kanye West had a meltdown and needed to spend time in the mental ward, the remaining dates on the first leg of his Saint Pablo Tour were thrown into the fire pit along with the bones of the woodland creatures his wife’s family sacrifices to their overlord Lucifer. The second leg of the tour was “postponed,” but now TMZ is reporting it’s not happening either. The Saint Pablo Tour now has no legs. I wasn’t planning on referencing the most depressing part in Kids, but yet here we are.

The peroxide-headed distraction that Jabba the Trump recently dangled in front of the media was apparently planning to re-start his tour in 2017. No dates for the second leg of the Saint Pablo Tour were announced, but TMZ says that it was supposed to mainly play Europe. The tour was planning to make stops in Germany, France and the UK. But Kanye’s team reportedly told Live Nation that the chances of the tour starting up again are as slim as the chances of Kylie Jenner’s inflated cartoon titties being real. The second leg isn’t happening.

TMZ also points out that Kanye took out an insurance policy on the tour, which means he’ll probably get a check for lost profits and expenses since it was canceled for medical reasons.

The good news for artsy Sisqó is that now that he doesn’t have to spend time preparing for the next leg on the Rapping And Ranting Tour, he can spend more time inside of Pimp Mama Kris’ Kristmas lair of vulgar trashiness. Architectural Digest once again pledged their allegiance to the dark-side by tweeting a soul-ruining episode of Kribs, which answers the question, “What does Christmas in HELL look like?

Pic: Getty

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Mariah Carey Is On A Salmon And Capers Diet

November 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Forget everything you thought you knew about health, wellness, and weight loss because Mariah Carey is about to take us all back to school. Borrowing from the Scandinavian edition of Karl Lagerfeld’s Restrictive Recipes, Mimi recently told E! News that her diet consists of salmon and capers and only salmon and capers. Sounds, uh, great…

You absolutely want to watch the full video of Mimi because she is in her full glory right now, henny. She didn’t drop a single “dahling” in this interview and she didn’t need to; her whole body from toe to tip read OVER IT in the most fabulous way.

“It’s really hard. My diet, you would hate it,” Carey told E! News recently while promoting the Dec. 4 premiere of her new E! docs-series Mariah’s World. “All you eat is Norwegian salmon and capers every day. That’s it.”

She clarified that she tries to focus on making sure she’s eating “the proteins” and that she hates it. This is basically what I imagined Mimi had been feeding her very expensive, purebred asshole cat that she may or may not own. When you start getting specific about the origin of your salmon you’re definitely in a tax bracket I do not share. But Lord, greasy fish and salty little berry things for every meal? Doesn’t sound like you’re getting the full range of vitamins and minerals, but what do I know? I ate a pan of Rice Krispie Treats last week.

I’m not sure we can say for sure that she ever lost it, but if she did, Mimi has definitely gotten her groove back now. Just LOOK at these pictures of her (finally) out and proud with her hot young back-up dancer boy toy. Tits! Stunts! Ennui!

Pic: E!

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Madonna Denies The Allegations That Sean Penn Beat Her

December 17, 2015 / Posted by:

The rage-filled overcooked salchicha Sean Penn threw a $10 million defamation lawsuit at Empire creator Lee Daniels last September for calling him a lady beater in so many words. Lee Daniels said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter that baby wipes aficionado Terrence Howard gets a whole lot of hate “when he ain’t done nothing different than Marlon Brando or Sean Penn.” Sean Penn didn’t like that and sued him. Lee Daniels tried to get the lawsuit thrown out by submitting excerpts from a Madonna biography and articles from the Internet about the times that Sean allegedly beat her bad. The lawsuit wasn’t thrown out. And now Sean Penn’s lawyers have submitted an amended complaint complete with a declaration from Madonna herself.

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