O.J. Simpson was released from prison last weekend. Perhaps you’ll see him gracing a golf course near you (although you Floridians might be disappointed). In depressing news, women of questionable sanity who are into probable homicidal maniacs are already prowling for him. Blac Chyna’s own mom and devoted ally to transgender people Tokyo Toni, might be leading the charge.
Orenthal “O.J.” Simpson is now out of jail, a day earlier than he was rumored to be released. O.J. has completed his 9-year stint at the Nevada Correctional Center for kidnapping and armed robbery and was released a little after midnight. TMZ sez that the man whose Ford Bronco chase rang the death knell for all of my daytime stories (Erica Kane and Viki Lord Buchanan Carpenter Davidson Banks should have sued) is reportedly staying in Nevada for the time being. He hopes to eventually live in Florida but “the paperwork hasn’t been processed.” Florida’s Attorney General Pam Bondi is trying to block that move. You know you’re not exactly popular when an entire state wants you to take the long way around them, thank you. Scratch that, you KNOW you’re unpopular when FLORIDA won’t take you.
NBC News is reporting O.J. Simpson could be released from jail as early as Monday, and I’m waiting for Hertz to pull the ultimate #TBT by announcing today it will provide official prison transportation. Kidding, if anything, Kris Jenner will have Khloe Kardashian greet him at the gates for a season 10 mid-season cliffhanger!
After serving almost 9 years of a possible 33-year sentence for armed robbery and attempted kidnapping in Nevada, O.J. Simpson has been granted parole. The juice will soon be loose; everyone prepare yourselves accordingly.
Caitlyn Jenner writes in her memoir, The Secrets Of My Life, about having gender reassignment surgery, but she probably knew that she’d need something ESCANDALOSO to drop in order to really sell that shit. Enter: the O.J. case.
Since the O.J. Simpson murder case got a lot of attention last year thanks to American Crime Story and O.J.:Made In America, Caitlyn brings it up in her book. Caitlyn pulls out some brand new information that Robert Kardashian totally didn’t say himself in 1996. Radar posted a piece from Caitlyn’s book where she claims that Robert told her in so many words that he thought O.J. did it. Caitlyn also writes that she believes Robert only took the case because Pimp Mama Kris hated O.J. and he wanted to get back at her for moving on from their marriage and marrying a gold medal-winning athlete. Caitlyn should really get another gold medal in the sport of Making It All About Her.
Society, in general, feels like it’s going through a very “let me just put my face in my hands and weep until it’s over” moment. Adding to that feeling is the news that O.J. Simpson might be given a reality show after his sentence is up. Who do I have to kill to get a TV show around here, huh?