If #thesetryingtimes weren’t super gross and disturbing enough for you already, here comes Fox offering up a steaming shit sundae with a cherry on top. Last night Fox aired a 2006 interview with Orenthal James Simpson called “O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession?” about the night Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson were brutally murdered. Yes, they had the damn nerve to stick a coy little question mark at the end.
O.J. Simpson has been on the loose for more than four months, and if dodging dirty looks from people on the street was a job that paid big bucks, he’d have a very lucrative post-prison career. But O.J. Simpson needs work that pays, and it turns out Sacha Baron Cohen is willing and eager pay The Juice $20,000 to appear in a movie. That’s a lot of money for a tasteless (Borat voice) “Mai knife!” joke.
For years now, online conspiracy theorists have been wondering who Khloe Kardashian’s real dad is. Kris Jenner has denied the rumors of Khloe’s questionable paternity. And yet those rumors (like the one about Alex Rodan being her father) still persist, because well, depending on the angle and the day, the only thing Khloe seems to have in common with her sisters is Kris Jenner’s DNA and surgeries. One of the rumors that has been around for a while is that Khloe’s biological dad is O.J. Simpson. A paparazzo recently tried to trick O.J. into an admission. And it didn’t work.
O.J. Simpson was released from prison last weekend. Perhaps you’ll see him gracing a golf course near you (although you Floridians might be disappointed). In depressing news, women of questionable sanity who are into probable homicidal maniacs are already prowling for him. Blac Chyna’s own mom and devoted ally to transgender people Tokyo Toni, might be leading the charge.
Orenthal “O.J.” Simpson is now out of jail, a day earlier than he was rumored to be released. O.J. has completed his 9-year stint at the Nevada Correctional Center for kidnapping and armed robbery and was released a little after midnight. TMZ sez that the man whose Ford Bronco chase rang the death knell for all of my daytime stories (Erica Kane and Viki Lord Buchanan Carpenter Davidson Banks should have sued) is reportedly staying in Nevada for the time being. He hopes to eventually live in Florida but “the paperwork hasn’t been processed.” Florida’s Attorney General Pam Bondi is trying to block that move. You know you’re not exactly popular when an entire state wants you to take the long way around them, thank you. Scratch that, you KNOW you’re unpopular when FLORIDA won’t take you.
NBC News is reporting O.J. Simpson could be released from jail as early as Monday, and I’m waiting for Hertz to pull the ultimate #TBT by announcing today it will provide official prison transportation. Kidding, if anything, Kris Jenner will have Khloe Kardashian greet him at the gates for a season 10 mid-season cliffhanger!