Category: NSFW

Night Crumbs

November 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Emily Blunt is on the cover of Vogue in Mary Poppins drag and her expression is a mixture of “meh” and “stoned into the clouds” (they don’t call her Emily SmokeABlunt for nothing)! That’s a pretty fitting facial expression, because I’m pretty meh about this new Mary Poppins’ movie and I know I’m going to have to get ten kinds of stoned to watch it – Lainey Gossip

Bella Hadid is here to once again show you how bad 90s fashion could be – Popoholic

If your dead heart hasn’t felt things from the It’s Always Sunny coming out dance yet, here you go – Towleroad

The Spice Girls have reached “let’s tell a story about the time one of us barfed in the other one’s mouth” levels of desperate in their bid to sell tickets to their reunion tour. And yes, some sucio bitch will probably fap to that – Celebitchy

Elegance has been redefined by Rita Ora’s strip club Swan Lake look – Drunken Stepfather

The Woosley Wildfire took Caitlyn Jenner’s Malibu house – Just Jared

If you’ve got your Masters in She-Ra, go for your PhD! – SyFy Wire

“I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET SOME HD CLOSE-UP CRYSTAL CLEAR DICK AND INSTEAD I GET COLD WET SOFT BLURRINESS AND CROTCH HAIRS!” – me to Netflix while trying to get a refund (NSFW because Chris Pine’s blurry wet peen is at the link) – OMG Blog 

Pic: Vogue

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 9, 2018 / Posted by:

The rat who is the leader of Luxembourg’s chapter of the Not The One Club!

A cat in Luxembourg has probably broken into a costume shop to find a dog disguise it can wear now that pussy no longer can show its face among its own kind. The reason for that is that trick got served by a damn rat! A security camera outside of a building in Luxembourg caught an embarrassing scene for catkind.

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Chris Pine Wants To Have A Serious Conversation About Why His Dick (Which Matches Michael Fassbender’s, By The Way) Is Getting Attention

November 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Two things:

  1. That Medieval Times Movie On Netflix Where Chris Pine Shows His Crotch Monster And Dick Shrub (yes, that’s the movie’s official title, I checked) hasn’t come out yet even though it feels like we’ve been talking about it since the 14th century, which is the time that movie takes place. It comes out this week.
  2. Chris Pine told the Press Association that he wishes we could have a serious conversation about why we’re talking about his dick, but instead people are making jokes like horny tweens. But a second later, he joked that his dick is as gloriously peentacular as Michael Fassbender’s dick is in Shame.

So I’m not sure if Chris Pine doesn’t want us to joke about his dick or does want us to joke about his dick, but I do know that he’s talking about his dick, so let’s all talk about his dick!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Philly Flyers Fan Who Got “Gritty” Tattooed On His Ass

November 4, 2018 / Posted by:

The Philadelphia Flyers (they’re a hockey team for you non-sportsball people) introduced a terrifying new mascot back in September named Gritty. He looks sort of like if you crossed a fed-after midnight Mogwai with Cousin It and put it in a pair of skates. Despite Gritty’s fearsome countenance, Flyers fans seem to have embraced the big cracked-out lug. Vice Sports (via Mashable) reports that 25-year-old James Kirn embraced Gritty so much that he got him tattooed on his butt cheek. And we’re not just talking a tiny thumbnail sorta falling off his hip on to his ass. We’re talking his whole buttock is now Gritty the Indescribable Hockey Mascot. Jimmy, what were you thinking? Spoiler alert – Jimbo was shitfaced.

Kirn told Vice Sports that he was originally supposed to get Gritty tattoos with a friend after “quite a few” beers — weird display of friendship, but OK — but the friend backed out.

“And the next thing I know I’m face down getting my ass tattooed,” he said in the interview.

If I had a nickel for every time I got drunk and ended up face down and getting my ass [redacted]. Jimmy’s family fully supports his new claim to fame. In fact, they plan to be a whole clan of ass-tattooed sports freaks.

Apparently his brother and sister loved the idea so much, it inspired them to get the Phillie Phanatic and Sixers mascot tatted on their respective butts. His 13-year-old brother wants to get the Eagles mascot inked on his behind when he’s of age, and the siblings have plans to take a twisted group photo.

There’s no word on what Ma and Pa Kirn might have inscribed on THEIR asses. But, suffice to say, you probably don’t want to go bar-hopping with these people. Or do you?

Those of you who are cool with crack can check out the full glory of James Kirn’s ass tat of Gritty after the jump:

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Georgie Dann!

If you asked me a couple of weeks ago who Georgie Dann is, I’d reach deep into my asshole, and after pushing away Jimmy Hoffa’s severed arm and Kanye West’s lost sense of reason, I’d pull out a bullshit answer by saying, “Georgie Dann is a Steely Dan cover band fronted by Prince George and they perform exclusively in the Buckingham Palace dining room after family dinners.” But I learned about the existence of the real Georgie Dann thanks to reader CinnamonGirl who dropped him into my box as a HSOTD nomination.

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Night Crumbs

November 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Prince Charles is on the cover of Vanity Fair for some profile to push into our brains about how much he works and how he’s totally not a pile of boring (with gorgeous bird wing brows, I might fucking add) like people think he is. That’s great and everything, but not once in Vanity Fair’s profile did they ask him that when he told Duchess Camilla he wanted to be her tampon, did he mean a regular one or a super absorbent one? I know, the hell kind of serious journalists do they got at Vanity Fair? – Lainey Gossip

Lisa Rinna as Erika Jayne sort of looks like a possessed ventriloquist dummy of a bootleg Michelle PfeifferReality Tea

Hugh JacksTheKushnersOff, but don’t worry they don’t get into politics. (Insert side-eye here) – Celebitchy

In case you were wondering, Logan Paul is a thing people are still paying attention to – Pajiba

This holiday season, RuPaul will bring on the ho ho ho ho hos (and that’s just the first five contestants) and crown the first ever Drag Race Christmas QueenTowleroad

Ireland Baldwin brought some peek-a-poon glamour on Halloween – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather 

I hate the overused saying “so and so won Halloween,” but well, then Jessica Simpson and Whatshisnamewhocares busted out a Twins costume – SOW

Wherefore art thou Emilia Clarke’s nipple knobs? – Popoholic

PODCAST NOTE: There won’t be a new episode out tomorrow, and it’s my fault again. I’ve got some new retina woes I’m dealing with, so if you want to complain, send a complaint letter to my right eye retina. We will be back to making your ears cringe with a new episode on Tuesday.

Pic: Vanity Fair 

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