Category: NSFW

Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The Shape of Water dildo!

It was only a matter of time before someone heard the pleas of aspiring fish fuckers everywhere by making a dildo based on what they think the fish man from The Shape of Water’s dick looks like. As everyone knows by now, The Shape of Water is fish porn masquerading as an arty sci-fi fantasy movie starring Sally Hawkins and Doug Jones as the fish man she lets fill her up with fish jizz (that’s one way to get your Omega-3s) in her bathroom.

During the movie, Elisa, Sally Hawkins’ character, lets Zelda, Octavia Spencer’s character, know that she did human-on-fish fuck times with her fishy lovah. Zelda doesn’t do what anybody should do, which is immediately pull a CITIZEN’S ARREST on her friend for committing bestiality. Instead Zelda wonders, “HOW?”, and Elisa does a motion with her hands that tells us her fish man has a trap door on his crotch that his peen flops out of. We don’t ever see fish man’s fish dick in a box, but Etsy sci-fi dildo maker XenoCatArtifacts imagined what it would look like. Their Shape of Water dildo is after the cut, and Tiger Woods’ doctor would probably look at it and say, “Hmm, where have I seen that diseased-looking moldy peen before?”

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

February 8, 2018 / Posted by:

The giant plastic and chicken wire dicks at Sanchez-Kane’s New York Men’s Fashion Week Show!

Watching sad, hungry, bored models strut down a runway in clothes I’ll never be able to afford doesn’t sound like the greatest time to me, but throw in some huge dicks and suddenly I’m perched on the edge of my seat with my binoculars fixed firmly on that dick! Fashion designer Barbara Sanchez-Kane, who was born in Mexico, told Paper that her collection is her commentary on how her homeland is ESCANDALOSO-IZED (yes, that’s a real Spanish word that I totally didn’t make up) by sex. So she made all the Mexican abuelita clutch their rosaries by putting dicks, condoms and nalgas on the runway.

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The Photoshop Awards: Bella And Gigi Hadid’s Naked Sister-On-Naked Sister Pic In British Vogue

January 30, 2018 / Posted by:

With the likes of Kaia Gerber and Lily Rose-Depp coming for their “it” nepotism models of the fashion world crown, Bella and Gigi Hadid have to pull out some shit to stay on top. So they pulled off their chonies, decided their coochies needed to have a kiki and brought some high fashion “incest is best” shit to British Vogue. The Kartrashian-Jenners are probably going to try to top this. The silica gel packets they call their brains are probably melting from them trying to figure out the logistics of how 5 sisters can do a naked 69 pose. Thanks a lot, Bella and Gigi!

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Open Post: Hosted By Courtney Act’s “Celebrity Big Brother” Wardrobe Malfunction

January 6, 2018 / Posted by:

RuPaul’s Drag Race alumnus Courtney Act is a funny bitch. She’s currently making herstory as the first drag queen to be in the UK’s Celebrity Big Brother. And while making her grand entrance into the CBB house last night, she experienced a “wardrobe malfunction.

While descending the stairs, she “tripped,” stepping on her own sequined fantasy of a skirt and ripping it off. The at-home viewers got some flashes of Courtney’s tucked Australian meatpies. Unfortunately for them, the cameras cut away to an aerial view when Courtney’s nethers hit the stage. But the luckies in the audience got full buttcheeks AND an up-close look at Courtney’s tuck! Most people have to wait for Drag-Con or the cruise to get that sort of view!

You can watch Courtney’s dignified entrance below, and check out the uncensored pics in the gallery.

Pics: Wenn.com

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Open Post: Hosted By A Norwegian Footballer Doing Sex To A Trophy 

December 5, 2017 / Posted by:

This was me yesterday: What are sports?

This was me three seconds after watching the striptease busted out by a Norwegian footballer: I love Norwegian football!

The Telegraph says that on Sunday, a Norwegian football team called Lillestrøm beat another Norwegian football team called Sarpsborg and won the Norwegian cup. Lillestrøm’s defender Aleksander Melgalvis Andreassen decided to celebrate in a way that is extremely relevant to my interests.

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