I’m going to assume that the editors of Interview magazine enjoy the smooth refreshing taste of crack in between story pitches, because their upcoming spread for September’s issue couldn’t have been conceived while sober. They have officially claimed silicone’s one-and-only BFF Kim Kardashian West as America’s New First Lady. Pull out your tissues, ladies and gentlemen, because you’re gonna roll your eyes so hard they may start to bleed.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s new childrens’ clothing line is dropping in a few days. So naturally, little match girl North West has been turnt out onto the streets wearing the a few of the latest styles to help pad the family coffers, so she pay her eventual therapy bills. North looks super cute as always. However, one part of her outfit is raising a few eyebrows: an itty bitty kid sized corset.
Surprisingly, this situation doesn’t involve Kim Kardashian responding to yesterday’s news that Beyonce is pregnant with twins by speed-dialing TMZ and letting them know a “source” thinks she might be pregnant with triplets. This situation with Kim actually happened two days ago.
It’s been almost two weeks since Kim Kardashian rinsed the salty blonde victim tears off her husband’s reputation by releasing several Snapchats of a conversation about the song “Famous” between Kanye West and Taylor Swift. And ever since then, there’s been no end to the reminders of the second time Kim took down a snake on camera. Kanye kept the party going last night by reminding everyone at a Drake concert about What Kim Did. You know, in case any of us accidentally got amnesia in the past 12 days and forgot. Thanks, Kanye.
Usually concerts get cancelled after a roadie peeks out from behind the curtain 5 minutes before show time and realizes the audience consists solely of a dozen stray cats who ended up there after following the smell of green room tuna sandwiches through an open stage door. It’s less common for a show to get cancelled after too many people decide they want to see it. But that’s what happened at 2 this morning.
He looks like…A BABY! Can you even believe it? I can’t.
In the grand Kardashian family tradition of sleepy-faced selfies, Kim Kardashian threw up the first real picture of her three-month-old baby Saint West on her website early this morning. Kim chose today to show us what Saint West’s face looks like because it would have been her dad’s 72nd birthday and that “there’s nothing more in the world he would have wanted than to meet his grandchildren.” Which is a little surprising. I always assumed the reason we hadn’t seen Saint yet was because Kim was holding out for a cover of VOGUE or Son of God Weekly. You know, only the best for Kanye West’s kid.
But back to Saint. I know babies sleep a lot, but I like to pretend that Baby Saint has his eyes closed on purpose. It was probably the first time he’s seen Kim since his birth, and he realized it would be better to pretend to be asleep than to make small talk with the rubber-faced stranger and her kamera krew.
Of course, Kim also made sure to give some internet attention to her two other children this weekend by throwing up a picture of Kanye and North West taking a nap at a baby store yesterday to Instagram.
I’ll be honest, if I had to listen to Kim’s white noise vacuum cleaner voice, I’d be fast asleep too. Here’s more of Kim, North, and the No.1 threat to Kris Jenner’s decades-long investment shopping for baby shit with Chrissy Teigen and John Legend yesterday.