It sometimes feels as though there are two schools of dressing when it comes to the couture of the Cannes Film Festival. One, wear only enough fabric not to get arrested for breaking a public indecency law. Or two, wear so much fabric, people will think you recently invested in a discount textile company. Diane Kruger showed up to Cannes wearing a whole lot of fabric, but according to Page Six, it’s because she might be trying to cover up a baby bump.
Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.
Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.
In my experience, the Germans I have known are direct, practical and speak better English than me. German actress Diane Kruger displayed all those qualities in a recent Vulture interview where she talked about the end of the road for her 10 year long relationship with Joshua Jackson. Diane’s got a German language movie coming out where she plays a woman “whose Turkish husband and son are killed in a neo-Nazi terrorist attack” called In The Fade. While filming that movie both her Oma and her stepfather died and she broke up with Joshua.
Ever since the rumors about Diane Kruger and Norman Reedus started, denial after denial has been spit up. When there was a rumor that Diane dry humped on Norman at a bar while she was still with Joshua Jackson, it was shot down. When Diane and Pacey broke up and it was rumored that her cooze moved on to Norman’s greasy parts, some source said that they were just friends. But now E! News has pictures of Diane and Norman holding hands and putting their faces so close together it looks like they’re kissing. Tricks got caught (by the pap they probably called).
That hoodie/sunglasses combo is saying one of two things. Either Diane Kruger’s stylist had a poor-taste moment and put together a look inspired by Jeanne Boylan’s sketch of The Unabomber, or she really doesn’t want people to know she’s currently in Spain at the same time as Norman Reedus. Based on how hush-hush they’ve tried to keep whatever it is that’s going on between them, my money is on option #2.
Back in December, Diane posed for pictures with Norman Reedus at his photo exhibition in Paris. Norman is currently in Barcelona to promote The Walking Dead. He also has a photo show opening at a gallery in Barcelona. And Diane was spotted wandering around semi-incognito in Barcelona yesterday. That’s not weird at all. People who are “just friends” follow each other halfway across the world all the time. Diane and Norman have denied they’re doing it.
Diane is really doing a terrible job of trying to go unnoticed and convince people she’s not doing Norman Reedus. An oversized black hoodie hiding possibly-dirty hair? Sunglasses that look like they were stolen from a gas station? Expensive dirtbag leather motorcycle booties? Leopard-print purse only big enough to hold a pack of smokes and some Visine? All that practically screams “I’m doing Norman Reedus.”
Here’s more of an in-disguise Diane Kruger walking around Barcelona yesterday, as well as Norman Reedus out promoting The Walking Dead and later at his photo exhibition. Unlike his last exhibition, there are no photos of Diane and Norman together. Or maybe she was there, but he didn’t recognize her because her disguise was just too good?
“It means that they’re probably still fucking, you dumb bitch,” said anybody with at least half-a-working brain cell, including Dramatic Chipmunk’s cracked-out squirrel cousin who’s in the middle of them.
A year ago, a tiny ESCANDALO was born when Diane Kruger was spotted by a source making out and straddling Norman Reedus at a bar in NYC. Diane was still with Joshua Jackson at the time. Other sources said at the time that the story was made of lies, because Diane’s tongue wasn’t anywhere near Norman’s tongue and they were at the bar with the director who directed them in the movie Sky.
Diane could’ve said that she was just helping out her man’s show The Affair by doing a little guerrilla marketing for it. Or she could’ve said that she wasn’t humping on Norman. She was doing the Heimlich maneuver on a greasy homeless drifter who choked on a piece of the sandwich she gave him outside of the bar. It’s an easy mistake to make. But neither Diane or Norman said anything. Diane and Norman later awkwardly posed together at a screening for their movie, and they were both at Rosetta Getty’s July 4th party in Tuscany. Two weeks after that party, Diane and Joshua announced that they were done after 10 years. And here we are…