Category: Nipples
Jennifer Lopez Honored Ben Affleck On Father’s Day By Posting A Shirtless Pic Of Him
The header photo of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck was taken at the premiere of The Flash a couple of days before Father’s Day, and that knowing smirk on Ben’s face must’ve been because he had a hunch that a few days later, his publicly perma-doting wife would post a Father’s Day tribute on Instagram that included a shirtless pic of “papa’s” tatts, admittedly decent abs, and pointy shirt raisins for all the world to behold. The rest of the carousel contained several JLo-centric images, of course.
After The Court Moved Britney Spears One Step Closer To Freedom, She Freed Her Body Of Clothes On Instagram
On Wednesday, as Britney Spears’ lawyer, Mathew Rosengart, was in court searing her father Jamie Spears’ skin with brands that read “ABUSIVE” and “CRUEL,” Britney herself seemed to be unbothered while flying off to some tropical locale with her betrothed Sam Asghari. After Judge Brenda Penny pink-slipped Daddy Spears as Britney’s conservator of 13 years, and temporarily replaced him with forensic CPA John Zabel, she posted an Instagram video of her flying free in paradise and then posted pictures of her freeing her parts. #FreeBritneyHerNipplesHerAsscrackAndHerChocha.
Open Post: Hosted By Jason Momoa’s Wet Nipple Knobs
Prolific Open Post Host and Panty Creamer Hall of Famer, Jason Momoa, is back to put his fur-covered chichis on display for his millions upon millions of followers. And if your genitals don’t get slobbery at the sight of a topless Jason Momoa, you probably say, “What a thirsty trick!“, every time he posts new topless pics of himself. Well, he heard you, because this time he’s quenching his nipples’ thirst in a water show.
Padma Lakshmi Doesn’t Think You Should Worry About Her Quarantine Nipples
Padma Lakshmi has spent a lot of time on lockdown doing cooking segments on Instagram. Well, during a recent Instagram cooking session, people hated on her for reasons beyond, “Why are you using garlic when I can’t find that shit anywhere.” Some commentators on her page were outraged that she would go on her own Instagram page sans bra! They said, “There will be no nipples in Padma’s Lakshmi’s house!” Continue reading
Open Post: Hosted By Harry Styles’ Nipples In His Video For “Lights Up”
Harry Styles has really let the gays know that he’s going to give us what we want like his name is Erika Jayne. He’s served us Cate Blanchett suit-realness while on his last tour–and told us we’re all “a little gay”. And now he’s coming all the way into the LGBTQ-Thirst-Quenching Hall Of Fame by releasing his sexually ambiguous/stylish-to-the-the-gods video for his new single Lights Out.
In Case You Missed Adam Levine’s Super Bowl Nipple Knobs (Cut To A Janet Jackson Side-Eye)
Tom Brady was probably clapping with two hands all giddy-like this morning, because Gisele Bundchen served him a very special victory cheat meal of organic, gluten-free, sugar-free, carb-free wheatgrass pancakes lightly sweetened with a hummingbird whisper for being a very good boy and winning his sixth Super Bowl. But while Tommy B and the other Patriots are happy about the game, many aren’t, because it was apparently as dull and lifeless as Tom Brady’s dead eyes. And a boring Super Bowl game got a just-as-boring halftime show that not even a pair of sweaty man nipples could save. You know you’ve redefined boring when even my hard-up-for-man-nipples slut ass doesn’t get even the slightest tingle in the loins over the sight of man nipples.