Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

July 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Jessica Biel is the star of the August issue of Marie Claire, and I only know that because her name is on the cover. If it wasn’t there, I might have assumed this was a picture of a very Photoshopped fashion robot attempting this strange thing humans call “sitting” – Lainey Gossip

Someone should tell Bella Hadid that you’ve got to earn the right to serve 90s Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue model looks – Drunken Stepfather

Tamra Judge is still talking about her facelift – Reality Tea

Emilia Clarke isn’t here for people who criticize her for her Game of Thrones sex scenes. Honestly, any complaints I have related to Emilia are to the person responsible for putting her in such a janky blonde wig for all those seasons – Celebitchy

And this is why you don’t pose with easily-Photoshoppable pieces of paper – Towleroad

Hailee Steinfeld, giving you low-budget Cher one minute, craft aunt with a glue gun and a 200-pack of gems the next – Hollywood Tuna

Lindsey Vonn looks like a mother-of-the-bride who is like “I’ll wear the fancy top, but y’aint making me wear no skirt” – Popoholic

Lea Michele pays tribute to Cory Monteith on the 4th anniversary of his death – Popsugar

I see Khloe Kardashian drew the short straw to select who was going to supervise Rob – Just Jared

Someone from ANTM is flashing their ass. Tragically, it’s not Nigel Barker – The Nip Slip

Damn, Donnie Wahlberg better not blow through too much cash, or he might one day find himself begging Mahky-Mahk for a job flipping Wahlburgers – SOW

I only have one thought about Big Brother, and it’s: “Where can I get one of those frog hats?” – Pajiba

Bridezillas is coming back. Bring on the inevitable meltdowns over mason jars and twinkle lights! – Jezebel

Pic: /Marie Claire


Night Crumbs

July 12, 2017 / Posted by:

New parents George (working a goatee that screams WHY?) and Amal Clooney were seen at one of their favorite restaurants in Lake Como, Italy last night. Locals say they left dinner earlier than usual. Even still, it’s nice they got out for a quick little date night doing something they both love: getting papped – Lainey Gossip

Shannon Beador from Real Housewives of Orange County blames a lot of things her recent weight gain, including a certain blonde wax figure whose name rhymes with Sticky Schmunvalson – Reality Tea

Nina Dobrev has been secretly dating Chad Radwell from Scream Queens (aka Glen Powell) since January  – Celebitchy

Here’s Jennifer Lopez’s retro-looking photo shoot-themed commercial for Hennessy – I mean, music video for “Ni Tú Ni Yo” – Popsugar

The cast of Black Panther got the cover of this week’s Entertainment Weekly, and I did a double-take because that shadow behind Lupita Nyong’o kind of makes it look like she’s playing a centaur – Pajiba

Andy Serkis channeled Gollum to read some Trump tweets – Towleroad

This is a model named Bambi Northwood-Blythe wearing a swimsuit that looks like she put it on sideways – Drunken Stepfather

Bella Thorne Snapchatting in a towel is either a sign she bathes regularly, or just that the bathroom was the cleanest room in her house – Hollywood Tuna

The sleeves of Emily Blunt’s dress looks like the curtains you’d find in a sleazy motel room that comes with a heart-shaped Jacuzzi – Popoholic

Ansel Elgort went to the Australian premiere of Baby Driver looking like a Sephora employee, and Lily James looks like a high maintenance rich older lady customer who makes him re-do her makeup at least three times – Just Jared

Five words that won’t shock you: Kim Kardashian without a bra – The Nip Slip

Neil Patrick Harris Twitter-slapped at James Woods for a truly-shitty tweet he made – Boy Culture

Raven’s Home has a theme song. I give it about 1 “That’s So Raaaavennnnn“s out of 5 – SOW



Night Crumbs

July 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Guy Ritchie’s live-action Aladdin reportedly can’t find its Aladdin. They’ve passed on Dev Patel and Riz Ahmed in favor of an unknown, but that unknown is proving to be elusive. Uh, duh – just rub the lamp and wish for one. They have a real genie, right? – Lainey Gossip

In this picture it looks like Andy Cohen is either really tiny or the cast of Southern Charm chugs juleps laced with HGH – Reality Tea

Only Celine Dion could pull off an avant-garde Road to Avonlea outfit – Celebitchy

Someone made a video game about public bathroom cruising, and by the look of it, the cruising takes place in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter – Towleroad

Ashley Tisdale was at the beach, in case you were wondering – Drunken Stepfather

Katy Perry was at the beach too, in case you wondering about that as well – Popsugar

Jessica Simpson celebrated her 37th birthday by sunning her tuna buns on a pool floatie – IDLYITW

I’ll give Suki Waterhouse a pass on that early-2000s trucker hat, but she gets no forgiveness if she shows up to her next interview in a Jesus is My Homeboy shirt – Popoholic

Pop Quiz: is this Miley Cyrus or the Tinder profile picture of a girl whose claim to fame is getting kicked out of Walmart for stealing flip-flops? – Hollywood Tuna

19-year-old Paris Jackson denied the 38-year-old holding her hand in these pics is her boyfriend. Being her boyfriend is literally the least-creepy reason for why a 38-year-old man is holding her hand – Just Jared

The trailer for HBO’s The Deuce is out – OMG Blog

A sequel to The L Word is happening. Shane is back, but no word if they’re also bringing back her gorgeously skanky wardrobe – Jezebel

Honey, it’s mom. You couldn’t have picked a white shirt instead? We really could have used the distraction this week” – The Nip Slip

Face/Off almost starred Nicolas Cage opposite Johnny DeppPajiba

Steve Whitmore, the voice of Kermit the Frog since 1990, is retiring. 27 years! I tried to do Kermit just now and my voice retired on me after 27 seconds – SOW



Night Crumbs

July 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Bradley Cooper, Irina Shayk, Anderson Cooper, Anderson’s partner, who is clutching his phone and not his dick, Allison Williams, her husband, and Andy Cohen (not pictured) spent last week in Tahiti with Diane von Furstenberg. I wonder if Andy tried to be cute and call it the “coop deck” every time Bradley and Anderson sat at the back of that boat – Lainey Gossip

Bella Thorne looks like what you’d get if Rainbow Brite had a long-lost friend named Messy Millennium Pink – Drunken Stepfather

Elizabeth Hurley is beating all the young Instagram THOTs at their own game – Hollywood Tuna

If Nina Dobrev keeps putting her mouth so close to that of her pooch’s mouth, she’s going to earn the nickname Nina Dogbreath – Popoholic

Eileen Davidson is too busy being a soap opera star to be a Real Housewife. Who is going to tell her they’re basically the same thing? – Reality Tea

Lena Dunham’s dog trainer has gotten even more involved in her rescue dog drama, and he’s firmly on Team Lena, and I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact that she’s responsible for pumping dollars into his bank account – Celebitchy

A cute rugby player proposed to his cute boyfriend in the middle of London Pride. But did he do it in the traditional way by presenting his ball and asking him to be the prop to his hooker? – Towleroad

Julianne Hough finally got married to NHL player Brooks Laich. I’m sure TV networks are crossing their fingers that her husband rubs off on her a little, because you know Julianne On Ice! would be a major ratings-grabber – Popsugar

Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence are hanging out again, which means they’ll no doubt spend most of the summer trying to see who can keep it the most real by peeing only in the water – Just Jared

Patton Oswalt is not here for the “bitter grub worms” of the internet who think he got engaged too soon after his wife’s death – HuffPo

Sad news that managed to get even sadder: Nelsan Ellis might have died from alcohol withdrawal – Jezebel

Pic: Instagram


Night Crumbs

July 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Now let’s end this week with these stunning pictures from a photo shoot where Celine Dion became the Rose to a tree’s Jack and promised to never let go. And unlike that lying ass Rose, I’m sure Celine will never let go and she’s still holding that tree right now – Lainey Gossip

But wait Prince Hot Ginge, does it count if I only check my phone 150 times a day to look at pictures of your sweetheart face? – Celebitchy

Iggy Azalea’s ass is looking like two plastic hams in a net and she’s never looked more elegant – Drunken Stepfather

If you ever get Gonorrhea and think you got rid of it with antibiotics, it may come back like, “Surprise, bitch.” – Towleroad

Two things: Magazine are still hiring Uncle Terry and Bella Hadid is still a big model – Hollywood Tuna 

Why do I have a feeling that when Lea Michele posts these pictures on Instagram, she tags @SportsIllustratedSwimsuitEditionCastingDepartment – Popoholic

Slow Pap Day: The Flip or Flop lady got papped with her new dude – Popsugar

Because this is something you needed to know, here’s Amber Rose talking about her crotch shrub – Just Jared

In “Finally, Some Good News” news, Kendall and Kylie Jenner got sued – Jezebel

Pic: Backgrid


Night Crumbs

July 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Margaret Atwood thinks it’d be fun to have Drake do a cameo in season two of The Handmaid’s Tale. “Praise be!” said absolutely no one after hearing that idea. Although, I may be into Drake rolling into an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale as Wheelchair Jimmy… – Lainey Gossip

No lie, my mom’s old bedroom curtains from the early-aughts look just like the thing that Bella Hadid is wearing. And it goes without saying, but my mom’s windows wore it better – Drunken Stepfather 

I really need Liam Gallagher to host a game show called Eat Your Own Shit Or Watch The Beige Fucks Band? – Celebitchy

Gus Kenworthy showed a hint of nalgas in ESPN Magazine’s Body IssueTowleroad

I see that Kenya Moore wants you to think that she’d really choose her new husband over her soulmates, the cameras – Reality Tea

Allow someone named Arianny Celeste to show you what you look like while cooking breakfast in the morning – Hollywood Tuna

Yup, Dior still hates Jennifer LawrencePopoholic

FYI: Billie Lourd and Taylor Lautner didn’t extend their contract – Just Jared

Parasite Hilton is going to be someone’s aunt again – Popsugar

Let’s just get to the part where Indiana Jones breaks into a Hobby Lobby and has to outrun a giant Styrofoam craft ball – Pajiba

The Montgomery County DA wasted no time in setting a new date for Bill Cosby’s sexual assault retrial – Jezebel

Being An Actor Is Weird: Part 4,903,999 – SOW

Katy Perry has made koala activists mad now – IDLYITW



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