Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

September 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Margot Robbie reportedly really wanted a theatrical release for I, Tonya so it would qualify it for the Oscars. Well, the only thing I want more than a Tonya Harding biopic is the hope that maybe Margot would bring the real Tonya as her date, and they’d walk the red carpet in matching sequined ensembles and crunchy-banged french braid hairdos – Lainey Gossip

Here’s Bella Thorne showing you what it might look like if 90s Pauly Shore had a baby with a shot of strip club vodka – Drunken Stepfather

Lisa Vanderpump is getting sued by a luxury doggy boutique for not promoting clothing they gave to her. The fact that their clothing was within humping distance of a wealthy pooch icon like Giggy should be payment enough, no? – Reality Tea

Today’s “Are you delusional?” award goes to… – Celebitchy

Rachel McAdams looks like she snuck into Betty Draper’s house and stole a nightgown – Popoholic

In honor of hump day, here’s some Canadian cable TV penis – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Either Kylie Jenner has access to some sort of Jessica Rabbit-ize tool in Photoshop, or she has possibly upgraded her chest again – Hollywood Tuna

Dr. Phil learned firsthand that Sinead O’Connor has no time for his redundant walrus questioning – Jezebel

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian named their baby girl “Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr” – IDLYITW

2017 really is Mandy Moore’s year. First she starred in the cinematic masterpiece 47 Meters Down, and now she’s engaged – Popsugar

Julianne Hough is too busy taking bikini pics for Instagram and being a wife to judge the upcoming season of Dancing with the StarsSOW

LGBTQ and marriage equality activist Edith Windsor has died at the age of 88 – Towleroad

Frank Vincent, a Martin Scorsese regular and Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos, has also died – Just Jared 



Night Crumbs

September 12, 2017 / Posted by:

A source tells The Daily Mail that Duchess Kate might have a home birth. Well, that’s one way to guarantee a fast labor. The Queen will shout “I command thee to be born!” from outside the door, and out pops the next Royal baby. Don’t tell me it doesn’t work like that; baby or not, nobody disobeys orders from The Queen! – Celebitchy

Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus were reportedly seen looking for apartments in New York City. I hope they’ve got a big budget to work with, because you know Ben needs an extra-large man cave where he can play two-hand touch football with Tom Brady – Lainey Gossip

It’s only September, and already Bella Hadid is like “Happy Holidays, here’s my ass” – Drunken Stepfather

Margot Robbie is giving you “emergency button replacement using whatever you can find at the bottom of the sewing kit” realness – Popoholic

A mess gets messier: Juicy Joe might have gotten kicked out of his prison’s alcohol treatment program because he’s not a US citizen – Reality Tea

The unlikely love affair between Armie Hammer and Henry Cavill’s nipples continues – Towleroad

Can someone explain why the hell it looks like Amber Heard is vacationing at Jurassic Park? – Hollywood Tuna

James Woods would like you to know he definitely isn’t a gross, creepy, lecherous old man (uh huh, ok James) – Pajiba

Tom Cruise’s The Mummy got the Honest Trailer treatment – OMG Blog

Who is the person directing Star Wars: Episode IX this week? That would be J.J. Abrams IDLYITW

Louis CK really, really doesn’t want to talk about those sexual harassment rumors – Jezebel

Apple announced the release of a new $999 iPhone called the iPhone X. An iPhone X totally sounds like the device Ted Cruz would use to “accidentally” browse porn – Just Jared

It looks like Gigi Hadid finally has another talent to put on her modeling resume besides “Is famous” – Starcasm

This is an after work party I can get into – Popsugar

Gwyneth Paltrow made a surprise appearance on The Late Late Show to promote her $15 Goop magazine. Can you believe she didn’t bring a box of complimentary jade crotch eggs for the audience? So rude – SOW



Night Crumbs

September 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus were seen on a date at the U.S. Open this weekend. It appears they’re still all about color-coordinating their outfits in various shades of blue. At least we’ll know when they’re trouble in paradise (aka Lindsay defiantly shows up for a predetermined pap stroll wearing something orange) – Lainey Gossip

One of Jessica Alba’s titties must not have been getting enough attention, because it recently made a run for it from behind her shirt – Drunken Stepfather

Things that might be of relevance to you: The baby growing inside of Mindy Kaling’s uterus is a girl – Celebitchy

Asa from Shahs of Sunset says Mercedes is obsessed with her, and now I’ve got Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed” in my head (Thank you, Asa!) – Reality Tea

Kendall Jenner showed up to an event in her family’s obligatory red carpet event dress code of something sheer with visible underwear – Popoholic

James Woods got roasted like a Thanksgiving turkey on Twitter by Armie HammerTowleroad

Meanwhile, Miss Texas grabbed Trump by the greasy peach weave hairs and dragged him for his response to Charlottesville during last night’s Miss America Pageant – Boy Culture

It was incredibly kind of an icon like Pamela Anderson to allow a fan to ride the elevator with her – SOW

It’s the 10 year anniversary of “Leave Britney alone!“. I will be celebrating by treating myself to an extra-large java chip Frapp purchased in a pair of pink terrycloth shorts and flip-flops – OMG Blog

Either that’s purple glitter paint on Bella Thorne’s stomach, or she went to McDonaldland and hooked up with The Grimace – Hollywood Tuna

Rihanna closed her latest New York Fashion Week show by scooting around on the back of a dirtbike in some Kenny Powers glasses, because of course she did – Jezebel

Brie Larson’s dress looks like she’s about to invite you into the dining room for a bowl of Watergate salad – Just Jared

Here’s the pretty pretty pretty good trailer for the 9th season of Curb Your EnthusiasmPopsugar

One of the Property Brothers reportedly dumped his wife for a topless dancer. I guess you could say he was more interested in erecting something open-concept on his cul-de-sac – Starcasm



Night Crumbs

September 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Reese Witherspoon is on the cover of Glamour looking like the scheming stripper-turned-mistress of a Muppet mobster who she met in a pawn shop one block over from Sesame Street. I don’t think that’s what they were going for, but I’ve got to say, it’s a good look – Lainey Gossip

Lest you forget that Tamra Judge is a Real Housewife, she celebrated her birthday by taking pictures of herself guzzling expensive champagne in a bikini – Reality Tea

Prince Harry was reportedly a-ok with Meghan Markle blabbing about their relationship to Vanity Fair – Celebitchy

Bella Thorne, stop plagiarizing Lindsay Lohan’s life, and do your own work! – Drunken Stepfather

The top of Olivia Culpo’s dress looks like Gene Shalit’s eyebrows, right? – Popoholic

Sam Smith’s new song is the perfect thing to play while you dramatically drink wine and scroll through your ex’s Instagram account – Towleroad

Alessandra Ambrosio at Burning Man is a dead ringer for someone who would sell you homemade acid at Burning Man – Hollywood Tuna

Apparently barely anybody went to the movies this summer. Well, I’m sorry Hollywood, but I chose to watch Baywatch reruns and look at emojis on my phone at home for free – Pajiba

Make me look like the model from an early-2000 Steve Madden ad” is what I assume Gigi Hadid said to her stylist – The Nip Slip

Country singer Don Williams has died – Just Jared

Also sadness from the country world, Troy Gentry of duo Montgomery Gentry died in a helicopter crash – Boy Culture

Shailene Woodley talked about getting arrested during a Dakota Access Pipeline protest, and no surprise here, it sounds like it was the opposite of fun – IDLYITW

That “Gwen Stefani is knocked-up with Blake Shelton’s baby” rumor is back again – Starcasm

As Britney Spears hungrily smacks her lips… – SOW

That’s funny. I always pictured Leonardo DiCaprio and Lukas Haas running to catch a cab would involve Leo riding Lukas piggyback and shouting “Faster, pony, faster!” – Popsugar

Pic: Emma Summerton/Glamour


Night Crumbs

September 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Jennifer Lawrence showed up to the UK premiere of mother! in a Versace dress that resembles an old fishing net, and now I can’t stop picturing her saying, “I’m just like, a totally chill mermaid who fish-farts and stuffs her face with kelp” – Celebitchy

Jaden Smith’s girlfriend sounds like she went to the same deep-thinking famous people offspring school as Jaden (which is to say, they’re perfect for each other) – Lainey Gossip

Maybe it’s because I need new glasses, but the top of Poppy Delevingne’s dress looks like a haute couture skin disease – Drunken Stepfather

Ponies are keeping Kim Richards sober. Is there anything ponies can’t do? – Reality Tea

In “2017 is still a crazy upside-down nightmare” news, Manson Family member Leslie Van Houten has reportedly been recommended for parole – Pajiba

Nicole Scherzinger is living that bikinis-and-boats life – Hollywood Tuna

Here’s the first trailer for Lady Gaga’s Netflix documentary – Towleroad

I know pool floaties can’t technically look embarrassed, but I’d say the one getting dragged into Jenna Dewan Tatum’s Instagram THOT-ing comes pretty close – Popoholic

Stephanie Seymour got her supermodel nipples out for Love magazine – (NSFW) The Nip Slip

I’m really glad to see that Jennifer Aniston’s clip-on bangs and suburban mom wardrobe from We’re the Millers are still able to get work – Just Jared

Veep will be done after the seventh season – Jezebel

Leslie Jones celebrated her birthday in the same way I’d like to celebrate mine; by busting out some dance moves in my bathrobe while holding a piece of cake – Boy Culture

The newest bachelor for The Bachelor has been revealed. Did you guess  a white dude with brown hair? Close – he’s a white dude with slightly grey brown hair! – Popsugar

Ten points to Ricky Martin for shaking his ass to “Old Time Rock and Roll” on Lip Sync Battle, but I’ve got to deduct points for doing it in tight shorts instead of the traditional butt-hugging briefs – SOW



Night Crumbs

September 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Gustaf, Bill, and Alexander Skarsgård brought three servings of Skarsgårds-in-suits hotness to the Hollywood premiere of It last night. Although I’m sure they could have shown up in scary clown outfits and still covered that red carpet in sexiness. Now that I think of it, if anything is going to help me beat my fear of clowns… – Lainey Gossip

RIP to Pippa Middleton’s publishing business (so THAT’S what her job was!) – Celebitchy

Sarah Hyland is still in a bikini, because Instagram thirst traps know no season – Drunken Stepfather

The live-action Aladdin has a new character that I’m guessing moved to Agrabah from like, London, or New England, or something? – Pajiba

Danielle Staub popped into Watch What Happens Live last night, and I’ll be honest, I really thought it was Kris Jenner in Kim drag – Reality Tea

The trailer for Grace Jones: Bloodlight and Bami would have been just a tiny bit more excellent if it featured a clip from her Sun Country Wine Coolers commercials – Towleroad

I’m sorry, Kate Hudson, but the auditions for GLOW are over at Netflix – Popoholic

Here’s Jaime King giving you day-shift dancer from a cowboy-themed strip club (Titty Junction) on her lunch break – Hollywood Tuna

Get into Sarah Paulson’s wonderfully busted Kathleen Turner impression – Jezebel

Drama from a galaxy far, far away: The director of Star Wars IX isn’t the director anymore – IDLYITW

Laverne Cox got a job modeling Beyonce’s workout wear – Boy Culture

The first teaser trailer for American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace doesn’t give you much, unless you were hoping for a bunch of doves – OMG Blog

Tina Fey’s Mean Girls musical has a premiere date and a theater – Just Jared

Anna Faris has clearly entered the “Screw him and that goddamn ring” chapter of her split from Chris PrattPopsugar



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