Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

November 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Universal was planning to do their own Marvel-style Dark Universe franchise filled with reboots of classic monster movies. They did the wet turd reboot of The Mummy starring Tommy Cruise and they were planning to do The Bride of Frankenstein, possibly starring St. Angie Jolie. But Universal has apparently killed and buried all plans for a Dark Universe. So now you can go back to remembering Tommy as part of a much more scarier and darker universe called Scientology – Pajiba

Everybody who works at The Los Angeles Times better carry a block of cheese with them, because Mickey Mouse and his goons are going to try to jump them for making Disney look bad and they’ll need to distract him with something as they run for their lives! – Lainey Gossip

Julia Roberts’ advice in life is to give birth to a ginger. I’m trying, Julia, but the royal ginger I’m trying to mate with has a restraining order against me – Celebitchy

Brandi Glanville should go ahead and pre-book a nose re-attachment surgery with her plastic surgeon, because NeNe Leakes is gonna rip that already-pinched and cinched schnoz off of her face – Reality Tea

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Night Crumbs

November 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Sean Penn got papped cuddling with an adorable puppy while shopping for one with his girlfriend. Never mind that the puppy is thinking, “Don’t make eye contact with the motherfucker or he may fall in love you and then you’ll eventually find yourself tied to one of his chairs,” Sean is obviously trying to look all sweet and soft as the other powerful of Hollywood get called out for being flaming grundle rashes. Nice try, Sean’s PR team. Didn’t work! – Lainey Gossip

Johnny Depp’s ex-managers are trying to get the money they say he owes them by forcing five of his properties into foreclosure. Don’t worry, Johnny won’t be homeless (although, he already has the look down) since he has ten thousand other houses and an island he can move to – Celebitchy

Someone stole Porsha Williams’ gun, and yes, Porsha Williams, the epitome of calm, owned a gun – Reality Tea

“We got your number, hussy”Difficult People to Kevin Spacey during their past three seasons – Towleroad

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Night Crumbs

November 6, 2017 / Posted by:

During his audition for the role of hot douche bully Billy Hargrove on Stranger Things, Dacre Montgomery busted out dance moves while wearing nothing but a nude G-string. No, Kevin Spacey wasn’t the head of casting at Netlix at the time. Dacre came up with the idea himself and did it for his art! – Towleroad

Brad Pitt was at some LACMA gala on Saturday night looking like a pack of blown-up balloons furiously rubbed his hair – Lainey Gossip

Meanwhile, St. Angie Jolie was at some other event, and she really dressed up for the occasion, and by that I mean she wore her robe – Celebitchy

Unlike the chicks, the douches of Vanderpump Rules obviously didn’t get the memo that the dress code was “going to the Playboy office’s holiday party” – Reality Tea 

It’s nice to see that a little-known independent movie called Thor: Ragnasomething (I’ve never heard of it either) made the most money at the box office this past weekend – Pajiba  Continue reading

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Night Crumbs

November 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Leonardo DiCatchAHo was at a Halloween party in NYC, and the story goes that he sent Pussy Posse ambassadors to pick up business cards from models he was interested in boning. This story has to be fake. Why would Leo want business cards? That shit has no info on it. We all know Leo probably really asks for a certified birth certificate and medical records to prove that she’s under 25 and has a BMI lower than 18 – Lainey Gossip

It seems that the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office has hit a road block in the rape investigation against Danny Masterson. Why do I have a feeling that the “road block” is really a giant wall of money that Scientology used to pay off higher-ups in the LAPD? – Celebitchy

Kim Zolciak and Kenya Moore are really working for that bonus check from Bravo by fighting even before the new season of Real Housewives of Atlanta airs – Reality Tea

Big Gay Al is really Big Bi AlTowleroad

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Night Crumbs

November 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Selena Gomez left a hockey game with Justin Bieber while wearing his jersey. This shit comes after Selena wore The Weeknd’s jacket. So either Selena is broke and can’t afford to buy clothes, or she’s been hit with another extreme case of dickmatization that is causing her to make bad decisions like letting the world know that she’s humping on the badass My Buddy doll again – Lainey Gossip

Sandra Bullock may get married for the first time soon. Yes, I said “first time.” I’m choosing to blackout the Vanilla Gorilla phase of her life – Celebitchy

And as soon as a fetus checked into Amber Portwood’s womb, CPS put up a want ad looking for a dozen more social workers – Reality Tea 

The Hammaconda ain’t impressed by Nyle DiMarco’s little garden snake – Towleroad

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Night Crumbs

November 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Prince Hot Ginge was in Chicago for the Obama Foundation Summit and he spoke with Mellody Hobson while sitting between two graphics that look like rainbow anal beads. PHG speaking between two rainbow anal beads is fitting. Because he is the pot of gold that we all hope to find at the end of rainbow anal beads – Lainey Gossip

Bethenny Frankel talked about losing her beloved dog friend to a violent seizure, which she broadcast live on social media – Reality Tea

I know the file is probably over-stuffed by now, but still try to file this Dustin Hoffman sexual harassment story under: Every Dude In Hollywood Is A Creepy Blob Of Smegma Who Didn’t Learn In Kindergarten That He Needs To Keep His Hands To Himself – Celebitchy

This is why the grounds of Canada are covered with maple-scented panty pudding today – Towleroad

I’m sorry but Jerry O’Connell’s Kartrashian sister impersonation is not good. His Kim is way too human-like and his Khloe and Kourtney look way too alive inside – SOW

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