Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

March 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Amber Heard was papped sucking face with Andy Muschietti, the director of It. So either Amber Heard and Vito Schnabel are done, or Amber and Vito keep it open, or Amber and Vito are still exclusive to each other’s fuck parts and Andy was just using his mouth as a vacuum to suck up the lozenge she was choking on – Just Jared

Two minutes and twenty six seconds is how much time I wasted while watching the Nerdvengers: Nerdgame trailer because it had zero Thor nipples in it – Lainey Gossip

Netflix has just earned a special place in HELL for firing Rita Moreno by canceling One Day At A TimePajiba

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Night Crumbs

March 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Hugh JackMeOff is returning to Broadway to SING! DANCE! SING! AND SCAM! in The Music Man in October 2020. In related news, the Tonys people have canceled the Best Actor in a Musical award for their 2021 ceremony and have gone ahead and dropped that award on Hugh’s front door  – Towleroad

Out of all the dresses that Duchess Kate chose to recycle, she chose the one that looks like it lived a previous life as a Laura Ashley bedspread – Lainey Gossip 

Julianne Hough is serving Dollar Tree Penny from Showgirls glamour – Popoholic

Someone should really tell Olivia Culpo about the skinny squirrels trying to attack her feets – Drunken Stepfather

Vintage Mexican actor nalgas alert! – OMG Blog

Olivia Munn must be gobbling up those sweet potatoes again – Hollywood Tuna

All hail the return of that evil trash Whammy! – SOW

Amal Clooney is serving extra in a community theater production of OedipusCelebitchy

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

March 12, 2019 / Posted by:

Disney has put out the trailer for their latest money grab: the live-action Aladdin. It still looks like a mess, and while watching it, I’m wondering why Aladdin used one of his wishes on auto-tuning the shit out of his and Princess Jasmine’s voices and instead didn’t ask the Fresh Genie of Agrabah to make his city not look like it was made using leftover set pieces from a Once Upon a Time episode – Lainey Gossip

“I’m sorry, Michael, I’m going to have to declare you legally blind” – my ophthalmologist after I tell him I mistook Kelly Brook for Gloria EstefanPopoholic

I am only for a sequel to Bohemian Rhapsody if it’s about Zombie Freddie Mercury getting revenge on the makers of that shit – Pajiba

Oh, it’s just someone named Carla Howe’s suffocating nipple trying to get some oxygen – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

If you’ve ever had a weird wet dream fantasy of Uncle Jesse’s face resting on Nick Jonas‘ crotch, that gay-baiter Nick has fulfilled that dream – SOW

Jussie Smollett didn’t have to show up to court today, but he did anyway to show how confident of his innocence he is – Towleroad

Kate Beckinsale will apparently dump Pete Davidson if he starts to spiral down. Um, has she seen that unicorn tattoo? – Celebitchy

Pic: Disney

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Night Crumbs

March 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Despite the crying trolls trying to take down Captain Marvel, it made $153 million in North America in its opening weekend, and has brought in $455 million worldwide so far. GIRL POWER! And PUSSY POWER, and I say that because you know many people went to see Captain Marvel to take in the ginger thespian brilliance of Reggie, who plays Goose the cat and can be seen above giving the same response he’ll give when he wins an Oscar next year – Lainey Gossip 

Someone named Kara Del Toro is serving up “slutty Endora at a funeral” chic – Popoholic

Bella Thorne and her man look like they’re starring in a Central Florida community theater production of Spring BreakersDrunken Stepfather

Showtime is done with SMILF and HBO is done with CrashingPajiba

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March 8, 2019 / Posted by:

A Chicago grand jury indicted Jussie Smollett on 16 felony counts for faking a police report. They hit him with one count for each statement he allegedly made up in his police report. If found guilty, he could get up to 4 years for each count, which is a total of 64 years. Chicago PD reportedly believe Jussie was behind the white powder-filled hate letter he got in the mail, so he could be hit with charges for that too. Police still believe that Jussie’s motive was that he was looking for a pay raise for Empire, and well, this may come as a shock to us all, but I don’t think he’s going to get that raise. Instead of making the reported $125,000 per episode he was making on Empire, he might end up making 2 Honey Buns per hour, or however much prisoners get paid to make license plates   – The Daily Beast

Leonardo DiCatchAHo and Camila Morrone are still together, and they’re giving me look-for-less Justin Bieber and Hailey BaldwinLainey Gossip 

And on this International Women’s Day, a really pregnant Duchess Meghan went to work in tall ass heels – Celebitchy

Disney will puke up most of their entire vault on their new streaming service, and while many are wondering if Song of the South is going to make it out, I’m saying a prayer for that weird masterpiece Black Cauldron to make the cut – Pajiba

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Night Crumbs

March 7, 2019 / Posted by:

THE QUEEN has made her first Instagram post. Now that she’s gotten a taste of Instagram, I fully expect her to post a picture of her sipping on Flat Tummy Tea from an heirloom teacup and proclaim how luscious her silver locks have gotten thanks to vitamin hair gummies. She’s going to be the Queen TROT (that royal over there) of Instagram and show those amateur THOTs how it’s really done! – Celebitchy

Hello, my name is Brie Larson, welcome to the MC Hammer Goes To An Aladdin-Themed Disco Bar & Grill, I’ll be your server tonight.” – Lainey Gossip

For those of you who WRONGLY think that Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper have chemistry while singing Shallow, prepare to get the tips of your nips burnt off with the scalding hot chemistry of Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson doing ShallowPajiba

Modest IS JLo wearing leggings with her own face on them – Drunken Stepfather

Elder Gays Reading Mean Comments is my new favorite show that never was – Towleroad

What in pirate on the S.S. Saved By The Bell HELL is Chloe Grace Moretz wearing? – OMG Blog

Because you care, Taylor Swift has decided to finally get political for the 2020 presidential election – OMG Blog

Jason Priestley paid tribute to sweet prince Luke PerryJust Jared

Fuck, marry, kill, fart on (???): The vintage Baldwin Brothers edition – SOW

Pic: Wenn.com

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