Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

June 28, 2018 / Posted by:

My 90s teen self is weeping while watching who I thought was the coolest, Gwen Stefani, posing next to a country wreck at the opening of her Las Vegas show. THE HORROR! But on a positive note, it was nice of Blake Shelton to pull himself together and dress up like a drunk dad who slept in the backseat of his car after his wife kicked him out for fucking the babysitter – Lainey Gossip

It would’ve been cheaper for HGTV to air a show featuring nothing but paint drying rather than give a show to someone with the personality of paint drying – Celebitchy

“That nipple would look so much better with red lipstick on it” is what Christina Aguilera, who is definitely missing her red lipstick days, is thinking in this pic – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Okay, but why does it look like Eva the Diva is pantless and wearing a fanny pack pocket book as a crotch cover? – Reality Tea

Forgot her pants: Emily RideAJetSki did too – Popoholic

A hot Israeli wrestler has come out, and I have a very important question: Is he a mazel top or a mazel bottom? – Towleroad

I wonder how many takes it took for Emily RideAJetSki to time that chichis squeeze just right? – Hollywood Tuna

Khlozilla is looking for more attention, I see – Starcasm

Because of that name, Stacy Keibler’s second kid is going to grow up to be a surfing country singer – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

June 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Perfect news for those of you who can’t get enough of cheesy snack foods that get stuck to your teeth and need to be pulled off with a pair of pliers, Planters is bringing back Mr. Peanut’s cheesy balls starting next month. Sure, there’s UTZ Cheese Balls, but I’ve always said that you can never have enough options when it comes to snack balls you can string together to make the perfect pair of anal beads that will dissolve in your butt and line your culo walls with a layer of glorious processed cheese! Cheesy Walls is my favorite Sheena Easton song – Uproxx

More proof that it really IS the Age of the Twink: Timothee Chalamat’s face is going to be all over awards season again – Lainey Gossip

Maybe Emily RideAJetSki is the comedian of our time and a master of sarcasm? – Celebitchy

Words that mean nothing to a ride-or-die ABC soap opera bitch like me: Eileen Davidson is leaving The Young & The RestlessReality Tea

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Night Crumbs

June 26, 2018 / Posted by:

“Well, motherfuck, another piece of the monarchy has crumbled” is what everybody but Duchess Meghan is thinking as she continues to bring down the monarchy by SCANDALOUSLY crossing her legs before moving into the duchess leg slant at the Young Leader Awards. Well, everybody but Meghan and THE QUEEN are thinking that. THE QUEEN is thinking, “Blimey, why hasn’t that edible I ate in the car hit yet?”Lainey Gossip 

It looks like Brendan Dassey won’t be the honorary guest at a WWE match anytime soon – Celebitchy

If you’re bored and got nothing to do, do what Tinashe did and put on some little boy chonies and give the paparazzi an ass cheeks show while hanging out of someone’s apartment window – Drunken Stepfather

Snoopy must be wondering when did Marcie become such a stupid dresser – Reality Tea

Speaking of stupid dressers – Popoholic

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Night Crumbs

June 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Janelle Monae showed up to the BET Awards looking like the conductor of her own Pride parade float. This big gay beautiful quinceañera dress made me butt burp out giant shards of rainbow glitter, but Janelle really should’ve went all the way with the Pride parade float theme, and covered her dress with tiny dancing shirtless men in metallic ass-less chonies, at least one RuPaul’s Drag Race queen, and a bored DJ who is just there for the check. Oh, and it also should’ve been sponsored by Citibank, because if you’ve got a float at Pride and it’s not sponsored by some giant corporation, what even the fuck are you doing at Pride? – Lainey Gossip

Someone on Brad Pitt’s damage control team is really working hard for that end-of-the-year bonus by pretending to be a source and telling People that he’s a real-life Benjamin Button – Celebitchy

Luis D. Ortiz from Million Dollar Listing got real about dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide – Reality Tea

RuPaul vlogging from her shit hole apartment in the 80s >>>> every YouTuber who exists – OMG Blog

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Night Crumbs

June 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Since you can’t spell MoviePass without M-E-S-S, they’re continuing to be a slow-moving train wreck by announcing that they’re going to charge more for showings of bigger movies (read: Marvel shit) on busier days (read: weekends). MoviePass used to be like that magical fuck buddy who showed up when you called and left right after they busted but eventually wants more from you, like after-sex cuddling and dinner dates out in public. GROSS! But then again since the price of an IMAX movie is your first born and a finger, shit is still a bargain – Pajiba

Get out your umbrellas, because God is going to cry over Jesus Jugs and her king douche husband from Real Housewives of Orange County getting divorced – Reality Tea 

Alexander Skarsgard was seen with a mystery blonde, and it’s unclear if they’re doing each other or not. I say that because if they were, she would obviously be wearing a t-shirt dress with the giant words “Yes, I’m Fucking ASkars! Smell My Finger, Bitches” on it – Lainey Gossip

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Night Crumbs

June 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Tori Spelling is going to have a hard time proving to the tax man and the ten million creditors who are hitting up for money that she’s broke, because it’s obvious that she spent top dollar on the highly-skilled Photoshop artists who sloppily pasted her face onto the body of some random model in the swimsuit section of a Land’s End catalog. The Photoshop Lifetime Achievement Award goes to… – Celebitchy

Um, can somebody watch the Creed II trailer and tell me how many times Michael B. Jordan’s cum gutters make an appearance. I won’t press play if the answer is “less than 12” – Lainey Gossip 

I don’t know what’s more elegant: GG’s Count Chocula brows in that promo shot or everything that happens in the trailer for the new season of Shahs of SunsetReality Tea 

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