Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

June 10, 2019 / Posted by:

Kim Kartrashian released a picture of her latest baby/Instagram accessory Psalm Ye (the correct pronunciation of that name is whatever the sound a double eye roll makes) and it looks like he’s sleeping, but I think he’s just got his eyes closed real right and plans to never open them because he doesn’t want to face the horrible fact that his name is fucking Psalm – Just Jared

The question mark that Goopy Paltrow makes with her face after she’s told she was in Spider-Man: Homecoming is the same look I make whenever listening to the latest dingle of foolery that falls out of her mouth – Lainey Gossip

None of the Democratic presidential nominees chose “My Neck, My Back” as their campaign song so none of them win in the category of campaign song for me – Pajiba

Some days Jonathan Van Ness sings, “Man! I feel like a woman”, and other days he sings, “Woman! I feel like a man”Towleroad

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Night Crumbs

June 7, 2019 / Posted by:

Pauley Perrette said before that she packed up her bangs and left NCIS over several physical assaults, and there were stories about Mark Harmon’s dog attacking a crew member. Pauley now claims that Mark himself attacked her and others, and when she spoke out about it, she got fired, which is why she’s done with NCIS forever and will never go back. What is going on with those CBS shows?! If only the memaws and pepaws who watch CBS knew about the alleged dark-sided-ness going down behind-the-scenes of their favorite stories. If we hear a story about how Allison Janney put Anna Faris in a chokehold backstage at Mom, they need to shut the whole shit down – SOW

The new definition of “living the life” is hot halfway-billionaire RiRi hanging out with her hot billionaire man on a yacht – Lainey Gossip 

Get your ass another job, because here comes another streaming service you got to cough up a monthly fee for. But make sure your second job allows you to watch all these goddamn new TV shows that are out thanks to all the goddamn new streaming services – Pajiba

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Night Crumbs

June 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Madonna spit at her New York Times profile (the one where she once again said that her songs from Rebel Heart leaking felt like rape) because she thinks it was superficial and focused too much on her age. Reading it made Madonna feel like she was raped, and wants you all to know she can say that since she was assaulted for real. Never mind that the New York Times article I read must’ve been a different one since it was pretty positive, Madge just keeps throwing that rape word around so much that I’m guessing her assistant hears shit like this daily: “I asked for one tablespoon of organic chia seeds in my turmeric and fennel hot tea spritzer and you clearly put one and a half. I feel raped!” – Celebitchy

Us Weekly’s new issue is all about Brad Pitt’s new post-Angie life, and by the looks of the cover it seems his post-Angie life involves moisturizing his face with a heavy dollop of Photoshop every morning – Lainey Gossip

Bill and Ted’s grown daughters have been cast for the newest movie, and this is scientifically impossible since Bill and Ted are forever youngins’ who are incapable of making baby-creating jizz. This is just a fact! – Pajiba

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Night Crumbs

June 5, 2019 / Posted by:

Based on the new poster for Wonder Woman 1984, I’m guessing that in this one, Wonder Woman drops acid at a Missoni-sponsored Pride Party. I’m in – The Blemish

Kristen Stewart’s down-low part is a certified boomerang because it has bounced from Stella Maxwell to Sara Dinkin to Stella Maxwell again – Lainey Gossip 

MTV is shit for bringing back Punk’d and Singled Out but not one of their greatest jewels of the past. I’m talking about NEXT! Next to you for that, MTV! – Pajiba

My new favorite Marvel movie is Captain America: Takedown Of The Straight Pride Parade TrollsTowleroad

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Night Crumbs

June 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Prince William’s rumored one-time side piece, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley (which is totally a made up title bought off the internet and you can’t tell me otherwise), was at Trump’s state dinner at Buckingham Palace. She walked at the end of the procession and sat at a different table than Duchess Kate and Prince William. She also showed up with one of The Daily Mail’s royal reporters. Why do I have a feeling that THE QUEEN decided to stir shit up and demanded that the DJ (because these things totally have a DJ) play The Boy Is Mine. That shifty Queen! – Celebitchy

Disney released a new trailer for their CGI’d up (let’s not call that mess “live“) The Lion King, and we hear Beyonce’s voice as Nala for the first time. And well, it sounds like Beyonce, but since the Beyhive are the Beyhive, I’m sure they’re all taking themselves down to the nearest ear, nose, and throat doctor to demand that a surgeon remove their sense of hearing. They don’t need to hear anything else anymore since they’ve heard the voice of GOD coming out of a CGI lion – Lainey Gossip

Okay, but the weirdest thing about Amazon’s Carnival Row is that Cara Delevingne is still getting paid to “act” – Pajiba

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Night Crumbs

June 3, 2019 / Posted by:

Thanks to leaked footage, we all found out early that James Holzhauer’s King of Jeopardy! reign has come to an end after 33 episodes. Dude didn’t beat Ken Jennings’ record. This is good news for those Jeopardy! watchers who were about to file a police report on James’ tongue for continually terrorizing them through the TV screen. On the other hand, this is bad news for you sucio ass freaks who couldn’t get enough of James’ tongue constantly doing the Miley Cyrus – Just Jared

This high-brow Fast & Furious piece of Oscar bait starring Christian Bale and Matt Damon looks boring. I mean, the only Ford v. Ferrari I want to see is a wrestling match between Lita Ford and Tina Ferrari from GLOW Lainey Gossip 

Godzilla didn’t exactly stomp on its competition at the box office, and that makes sense, because why watch another Godzilla remake when you can stay at home and watch that cold reptile turd of a Godzilla movie starring Matthew Broderick (why did I just remind myself that I actually paid money to see that mess in the theater?) – Pajiba

After watching international treasure John Waters’ interview on Real Time, I have one question and it’s: Where’s the petition to get John Waters to replace Bill Maher? – Towleroad

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