Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

December 17, 2014 / Posted by:

Happy Hump Day! Here’s Zac Efron giving you “power bottom in a 70s gay porn” hotness  while holding a puppy friend – Popsugar

Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy’s matching black outfits tell me that they went to breakfast after a funeral or the world’s most boring goth party – Lainey Gossip

Okay, Kylie Jenner, the fun is over, you can take off that plastic female masking mask off now – Celebitchy

Viola Davis is Amanda Waller in the Suicide Squad movie – Jezebel

But what I want to know is, how much does Giggy Vanderpump get paid to wear those humiliating ass outfits? – Reality Tea

Oh, don’t mind Parasite Hilton, she just vagina burped up a lump of Zovirax, that’s all – Drunken Stepfather

That sound that sort of sounds like the corpses of cows mooing in pain is from all that leather stretching around Khlozilla’s giant ass – Egotastic!

Kendull Jenner is in Vogue again because Pimp Mama Kris’ maker, Lucifer, wants you to know that he still has a contract with Anna WintourHollywood Tuna

What in the name of a chola parrot? – WWTDD

Yeah and that’s exactly what OctoMom said until her checking account flatlined – The Superficial

Erasure brings strangers together – Towleroad

Jennifer Lawrence’s outfit is having an identity crisis – Popoholic

These Santas can slide down my chimney anytime and they might get a plate of cookies (or crabs) out of it - The Berry

Jennifer Lawrence’s new dude is either a director named Gabe Polsky or pizza – ICYDK

Hollywood: 0 North Korea: 2 – HuffPo

Here’s Naomi Campbell getting ready to bury dead bodies while wearing lingerie, because that’s just what she does – OMG Blog

This mother of political party opposites is all of us – SOW

The Interview isn’t coming out EVER – Just Jared

Feminism: Jane the Virgin learns what it is on Twitter – Pajiba

Pic: Pacific Coast News

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December 16, 2014 / Posted by:

Thor is in GQ Magazine’s Manly Man Issue and there’s not one picture of his nipples. GQ really needs to take a trip to Dictionary.com and look up the meaning of “manly man.” Everyone but them knows that the definition of a “manly man” is a man who is always naked because he’s too manly for clothes – Lainey Gossip 

So I guess this means that we’ll never get an encore performance of Rose McGowan in her elegant VMAs “dress” – Celebitchy

And just like that, Ellen DeGeneres dyed her hair black and got a long weave installed in her head – The Superficial

Teresa Giudice’s ex-crisis manager is writing a tell-all and I’m sure the title will be Planet of the Fame WhoresReality Tea

Carla Gugino married Martina Navratilova?! – Towleroad

So I see that Stacey Dash is a proud graduate of Lea Michele’s School Of Try Hard Sexy Poses - Hollywood Tuna

Is it grounds for a 5150 hold if I admit out loud that I’m actually excited about seeing Wiz Khalifa’s sex tape?  - WWTDD

If you put a microscope up to my brain, this is what you’d see – The Berry 

Presenting the most riveting thing I’ve seen today: Megan Fox and David Silver walking through a parking lot – Popoholic

Panty Creamer of the Day:  Calvin Harris without a top on – Popsugar

Sony hates James Franco in The InterviewIDLYITW

Somebody get me a tub of holy water, because I need to drown out the image of Bill Cosby’s crusty anus mouth sucking on toes – Jezebel

And I fully expect Tim Burton to replace Michael Keaton with Johnny Depp in Beetlejuice 2Pajiba

Today, I hate my eyes for mistaking a younger Mark Ruffalo for Ashton KutcherSOW

Fuck you, Jamie Dornan, for not telling me which sex dungeon you were visiting before you visited it – Just Jared

But when is it going to be Vanity 6′s turn to be inducted into the Rock N’ Roll Hall Of Fame? – ICYDK

What a surprise – HuffPo

Pic: GQ

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December 15, 2014 / Posted by:

ScarJo says she has an “okay” body. I see what you’re doing, ScarJo! She probably said that, because if she would’ve said, “My body is spectacular and my magnicificent chichis can cure impotence,” everyone would’ve called her a conceited bitch – HuffPo

Former legendary home wrecker Sienna Miller does Vogue. 7 years ago, Sienna Miller would’ve done Vogue, asked Vogue to leave its wife and then dumped it for a new piece. Those were the days! – Lainey Gossip

And yet Marky Mark still hasn’t spit out a simple “I’m sowwy” to the dudes he beat – Celebitchy

If by “party” they mean golden showers and selfies, then the answer is an all caps YES – Reality Tea

Ariana Grande Latte ho ho hos it up for Santa – Drunken Stepfather

The Difficult Brown is going to be really jealous when he sees his new girl choking and wrestling with other guys - The Superficial

I cannot say whether or not I think Jennifer Lawrence’s bodyguard is a hot piece until I see him naked and covered in oil – Jezebel

Kyle from Smash is playing a gay villain in The Flash. That rhymed. – Towleroad

Excuse me while I throw a match into my closet, because this weekend I wore an outfit that’s really similar to the shit that Kristen Stewart is wearing – Popoholic

Here’s the Apple ad that is making some sappy saps cry and is making me roll my eyes at the granddaughter for making it all about HER – The Berry

This is blasphemy and I want one stuffed in my stocking - OMG Blog

Michael Keaton is secure with his bathood, thankyouverymuch – Pajiba

I’m assuming Wonky McValtrex was wearing chonies, because if she wasn’t then Cannes would’ve probably been evacuated by now – WWTDD

Okay, but why is the former Miss World wearing bedazzled weapons on her shoulders? – Hollywood Tuna

Eddie Redmayne FINALLY gets into the Oscar campaign game by getting married. Your move, Cumberbatch – ICYDK

The name Carly Lauren means nothing to my brain, but she is serving loads of delicate elegance – IDLYITW

Liam Hemsworth models the shit out of a sleeveless shirt from a fashion line by Gaston from Beauty and the BeastPopsugar

This might very well be the cruelest kind of animal abuse – Boy Culture

“I Was Feeling My Look” should be tattooed across Kim Kartrashian’s forehead because it’s pretty much what she’s feeling at all times – Just Jared

Pic: C Magazine

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December 12, 2014 / Posted by:

White looking like a sleazy 1970s game show host, Brad Pitt introduced RiRi at her Diamond Ball last night and his speech was very “drunk dad talking at his daughter’s wedding”Lainey Gossip

Don’t be crazy, Benedict Cumberbatch. You’re not a performing monkey. You’re a performing otter! – Celebitchy

Pamela Anderson serves up some ho shit for Christmas – Drunken Stepfather

Something I didn’t know I needed: Margaret Cho talking about sex on TLC – Jezebel

Bitchy fame whore pot calls bitchy fame whore kettle a bitchy fame whore – Reality Tea

A regular Pricasso painted Kim Kartrashian’s ass with his dick. We all know how he made that pearl necklace - The Superficial

Rich daddies of L.A. line ‘em up, because hot, soccer-playing piece Robbie Rogers is single – Towleroad

Salma Hayek is married to the president of one of the biggest fashion companies in the world and yet she wears something she stole from the Dancing with the Stars costume closet – Popoholic

The Slinky Master needs to do raves because that slinky shit is a next level glow stick show – Hollywood Tuna

James Franco lip-synchs to Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” and it looks like he’s doing it while pushing out a shit on the toilet - Boy Culture

ZAC EFRON’S ARMS - Just Jared

Who is this completely covered-up stranger and what have they done with RiRi? – IDLYITW

What in the name of a saggy onesie full of caca is Jessica Biel wearing? – Popsugar

Hermione Granger is single, which is great news for all you non-famous straight dudes who are into wizards – HuffPo

“It’s Laurence Fishburne, I knew it!” said Sam RubinSOW

Jessica Simpson’s husband has quit the good shit. So now what is he going to do all day? – ICYDK

It’s Fap Friday again! – The Berry

Pic: Getty

 

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December 11, 2014 / Posted by:

In case your eyes missed it, here’s the side profile Ben Affleck’s soft peen in Gone Girl. Even though it’s sleeping on the job, it still should’ve gotten a Golden Globe nomination this morning – (NSFW) OMG Blog

What Taylor Swift’s spokesbitch really meant by their statement is that she’s happily single, but keep please writing about her dating life, because she loves that free press – Lainey Gossip 

Evangeline Lilly is about as stupid as her hairstyle (read: stupidly stupid) – Celebitchy

Monica Bellucci working it in a condom trench coat for Vanity Fair Italy - Drunken Stepfather

Sonja Morgan’s boy toy just made my gaydar pucker and break – Reality Tea

Beyonce and Nicki Minaj’s ode to fapping leaked – Towleroad

Beverly Johnson joins the long list of alleged victims of Bill Cosby. At this point it might be easier just to make a list of people who Bill Cosby hasn’t raped or tried to rape – The Superficial

Another day, another set of pictures of Ariana Grande Latte dressed up like a member of the drill team squad at Furry High – Hollywood Tuna

My thoughts and prayers are with the family members of the satin pot holders that were murdered to make that fug shit on Kim Kartrashian’s tits – IDLYITW

Alessandra Ambrosio Salad giving you strip club Breathless Mahoney – Popoholic

I might be related to this woman – SOW

Anna Kendrick got one serious facial – The Berry

Blake NotSoLively looks like a horse riding, pregnant newsboy – Popsugar

Let’s peek in on the gross and messy Not The Mama June situation for a second. Yup, still gross and messy – Jezebel

Thanks to Joel McHale’s quest to get an employee discount, the Sony Hack scandal got a cute palate cleanser – Pajiba

“Welcome to the club” said the world to Carrie UnderwoodICYDK

Kevin Hart has something to say about those whores at Sony calling him a whore – HuffPo

FINALLY the answer to the question every trick has been wondering: How does Jake Gyllnehaal’s dog feel about his Golden Globe nomination? – Just Jared 

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December 10, 2014 / Posted by:

Just call George ClooneyMiss Cleooney” from now on, because he predicted the Sony hack in an email to Amy Pascal. Either Clooney’s SLYCIC or he’s the mastermind behind the hack. If it’s the latter, thank you, George, I forgive you for your STUNT QUEEN wedding  - Lainey Gossip

The Ebola fighters are Time’s Person of the Year and that’s a good choice, but I still wonder when is it going to be Charo’s year?! – Celebitchy

Another Bravo tragedy: Scot Young from Ladies of London died in what’s been called a “freak fall”Reality Tea

The latest member of The Leonardo DiCatchAHo Ex-Girlfriends Club does GQ MagazineDrunken Stepfather

I didn’t know that Dog the Bounty Hunter was in Mad Max: Fury Road. He looks better than ever! – The Superficial

I heard that the creepy CEO of Abercrombie stepped down after the board discovered that he’s been a spy for Old Navy all these years. That Old Navy mannequin face should’ve given it away – Towleroad

Breaking up with The Difficult Brown hasn’t affected Karrueche Tran’s ho stroll game – Hollywood Tuna

The stuff that The Rock puts in his mouth looks like the stuff that comes out of my ass – WWTDD

Kaley Cuoco’sjust married” t-shirt reminded me that she’s still married, which is kind of surprising, because I figured she’d be onto her next husband by now – Popoholic

Finally, something intelligent and coherent comes out of WhoopiJezebel

Kathie Lee Gifford wants to permanently move into this post – The Berry

So this is why Toni Garrn got told to walk the plank on the S.S. DiCatchAHo – IDLYITW

Maybe I should start watching ConanOMG Blog

When headlines give you visuals you don’t need: Pippa Middleton blasts Kim Kardashian’s butt – ICYDK

Shocking, Brandi Glanville lied about something – HuffPo

Kristen Dunst’s about to pull out and dust off her Drop Dead Gorgeous accent – Pajiba

Freida Pinto and Dev Patel are over – HuffPo

Mary Ann Mobley has gone on to the great, big pageant stage in the sky – Boy Culture

The King Douche of Instagram got arrested for making a bomb – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

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December 9, 2014 / Posted by:

When Duchess Kate wrapped presents with a bunch of kids at a children’s center in Harlem on Monday, someone barked at her to keep wrapping and that’s the “Fuck this, I’m going back to England where I don’t have to put up with this shit” side-eye she threw afterward – Lainey Gossip 

Duchess Kate wore pink to the 9/11 memorial and I guess we’re supposed to clutch our pearls over it – Celebitchy

Olivia Wilde looks like this in a bikini after birthing out a baby 7 months ago. I say “lipo” or witchcraft! – The Superficial

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly’s in Harper’s Bazaar looking like a half-dead mannequin trying to fart – Drunken Stepfather

Kenya Moore is still trying to get NeNe Leakes to donate to the Detroit school system. I was going to say that Kenya shouldn’t hold her breath, but even if she did she’d be okay since her head is filled with air - Reality Tea

Presenting McStyles, my new favorite gay couple – Towleroad

If German rose Micaela Shaefer had any feeling left in her nipples, she doesn’t anymore – Hollywood Tuna

Oh, it’s just MiserAlba looking miserable – Popoholic

I don’t know what’s going on with this post, because clearly Paddington should be on the Best Movie Posters of 2014 list! (And yes I’m only saying that because I’m terrified Paddington will eat me alive with his eyes if I don’t) – Pajiba

Whitney Port is STILL in a bikini and I’m STILL linking to pictures of her STILL being in a bikini – Egotastic!

Delicate twink Patrick Schwarzengger took Miley Cyrus for a wet, bumpy ride (and not that kind of wet, bumpy ride) – WWTDD

One for your “dogs are the best” file – The Berry

In case you didn’t know already, Aaron Paul is married and really loves his wife – Jezebel

San Andreas is NO EarthquakeSOW

Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigscanoodle” by the pool and that’s nice and everything but why aren’t his nipples sparkling? – Popsugar

SHOW ME THE GLOVE-EEEEEE: Cuba Gooding Jr. is playing OJ Simpson in a Ryan Murphy series – HuffPo

Rest in peace, PugsleyBoy Culture

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December 8, 2014 / Posted by:

Behold, more shots of Justin Bieber’s piss yellow hair. In the daylight, he looks even more like a meth head version of King JoffreyLainey Gossip 

Noted cat dude Billy Corgan got a little shady while talking about Eddie Vedder and Kurt CobainCelebitchy

Nina Agdal looks like a burlesque dancer from Whoville. It’s a look. – Drunken Stepfather

I’m surprised that Phaedra Parks refuses to visit Apollo in prison. I would think that she’d be there every week in hopes of finding her next husband  - Reality Tea

FYI: The paps are still taking pictures of Kelly BensimonEgotastic!

We should all go ahead and say RIP to Christmas, because these pictures tell me that Pimp Mama Kris will soon leak a sex tape starring Kendull Jenner and SantaThe Superficial

This is what Kate Upton’s chichis look like when she’s riding a horse while looking mad – WWTDD

What you get when you mix together money, a lot of free time, a crazy obsession with Christmas and an equally-as-crazy obsession with that Let It Go song – Towleroad

And here’s Eva Longoria’s wet nalgas in a wet bikini - Hollywood Tuna

If you’ve been looking everywhere for that last roll of gold wrapping paper, you should know that Taylor Swift stole it and wore it as a skirt – Popoholic

If you’ve been wondering whatever happened to that ugly ass Christmas sweater you dumped in a Salvation Army bin many years ago, you should know that Taylor Swift bought it and turned it into a dress – IDLYITW

Christian Bale says that anyone who isn’t supporting North African filmmakers needs to quit bitching and moaning about all the whitewashing in ExodusJezebel

I’ve seen The Last Five Years on stage and I don’t know how they did it, but Hollywood somehow made it look like a show from SmashPajiba

In “What Is Azealia Banks hating on today?” news – OMG Blog

I read this headline as George Clooney Steps Out After Anal Pregnancy Rumors” and it made sense to me for some reason - Just Jared

Keith Urban’s nipples: Here they are – Popsugar

Nick Cannon confirms what everyone has known for months – ICYDK

FINALLY, someone took a song from Frozen and made it speak to my senses  - The Berry 

Note: The CAPTION THIS Contest is hung over again and is taking the day off. It’ll be back tomorrow.

Pic: FameFlynet

 

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December 5, 2014 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston wears a cock ring necklace in Horrible Bosses 2. Sorry, Jen, but Magic Earring Ken wore a cock ring necklace first and he wore it better – SOW

Forget that hand holding stuff, Alicia Vikander’s smile tells me that she’s definitely bouncing on Michael Assbender’s crotch salchicha – Lainey Gossip

Cleary if Duchess Kate is having a girl they’re going to name her Harryella Vodka – Celebitchy

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen RiRi’s nipple plate (probably like 3 days), so why not get reacquainted with it? - Drunken Stepfather

The butt that shits up Adam Sandler movies hates shitting up Adam Sandler movies – WWTDD

Ramona Singer of The Real Housewives of New York is opening up a new restaurant that I’m sure will be called Turtle Time and will only serve pinot and pinot soup – Reality Tea

“Is Whitney Port still in a bikini?” is probably a question you asked yourself this morning and now you have the answer! – Hollywood Tuna

Lifetime’s Whitney Houston movie doesn’t totally look like a popped doody bubble – Towleroad

Do I even want to know what Aaron Carter is doing with his other hand? - The Superficial

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! – Boy Culture

If J. Crew had a J.Crew Maternity catalog and it came alive, it would look like Blake LivelyPopoholic

RIP Delia’s. Where are you going to get platform slide sandals now?! – Buzzfeed

Does Donna Martin have an alibi? – IDLYITW

Melanie Griffith should consider herself lucky – Just Jared

Susan Saint James  does not want her son dating Our Lady of CheetosICYDK

Brendan Jordan, who set Las Vegas on fire with his posing skills, is an American Apparel model now. Expect this ad to cause a huge mass model retirement in 3…2.. – Jezebel

Well, Robert Pattinson’s busted hipster hairstyle didn’t last long – Popsugar

And here comes another episode of “Hot Pieces I Wish Were Sean Cody Performers”The Berry 

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December 4, 2014 / Posted by:

Meryl Streep’s oven would not cooperate on Thanksgiving so she had to use Goopy Paltrow’s oven. Two things: 1) She’s fucking Meryl Streep! I thought she just put her uncooked stuff in the oven and minutes later production quickly switches it out with perfectly cooked food. 2) I hope she did humanity a major favor by switching out Goopy’s blended pearl shampoo with Suave – Lainey Gossip

And so begins Kendull Jenner’s “gayelle for attention” phase – Drunken Stepfather

We knew it was bound to happen and it finally did: Gloria Allred entered the messy, sad Bill Cosby situation – Celebitchy

Kingsley Richards is free from those crazy bitches on the Real Housewives of Beverly HillsReality Tea

Chris Rock goes in on racism in Hollywood and I get what he’s saying but I’m kind of distracted by the way it looks like he’s trying not to choke on the douche fumes wafting off of KanyeThe Superficial

If you’ve been looking for some bedroom wallpaper that will make you piss out of fear and cum out of joy at the same time, look no further – Hollywood Tuna

Zoe Kravitz carrying her cocktail in the ocean makes me wonder what a salt water and fish shit martini would taste like – WWTDD

Rosario Dawson’s dress looks like a wedding gown made out of recycled lace panties and bras – Popoholic

The Looking season 2 trailer is out and I think I spotted half of a Scott Bakula nip – Towleroad

Meanwhile, Whitney Port still exists and is in a bikini – Popsugar

Yes, this post is filled with a buffet of hot pieces, but it’s also filled with a buffet of fugly towels – The Berry

Well, Scott Baio is a giant tampon so the dog got it right – SOW

I thought this headline read that Krysten Ritter is playing Jenny Jones in a series and I got so confused – Pajiba

I’m just going to tell myself that Joe ManJello and Sofia Vergara went cock ring shopping – PITNB

I don’t know what this says about me, but I’d totally do Daniel Powter today – Buzzfeed

Tyler Perry named his baby Aman, which is what he usually prays for at night – Just Jared

George Clooney wants to bust out the turkey baster now – ICYDK

Lil Wayne wants to quit his record label – HuffPo

Pic: Getty

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