Category: Night Crumbs

Thanksgiving Eve Crumbs

November 25, 2015 / Posted by:

Tom Cruise may star in a reboot of The Mummy. No, he’s not playing the title role. I checked. If he does it, that movie is going to be about 5 minutes long, because the mummy army will turn to dust as soon as he starts bitching about how his assistant doesn’t know how to handle cookie dough right – Lainey Gossip

Pauly D and Aubrey O’Day are doing it full-time, because true love is real and because they probably think they can get a reality show out of it  – Reality Tea 

My high school guidance counselor really should’ve told me to be a dog acupuncturist to the stars since that’s where the cash is at – Celebitchy

And here’s JLo in Marie Claire wearing the most clothes I’ve seen her wear in a while  – Drunken Stepfather

In other words, they really turned up Tracy Morgan’s morphine drip in the hospital – The Superficial 

Adriana Lima’s nipples: here they are – The Nip Slip 

Michael B. Jordan is lubed up and ready to go in Men’s FitnessTowleroad

The human in Chrissy Teigen’s stomach is growing… Although, it may have relocated to her top knot – Popoholic

Bella Thorne’s maybe arch rival is in Jalouse MagazineHollywood Tuna 

The dude who did the voice of Arnold in Hey Arnold! sort of looks like a Bushwick Jimmy Kimmel – The Berry 

Will Smith wants to run for office. I am only okay with this if Jaden Smith writes all of his campaign speeches – Jezebel

I see that Pimp Mama Kris is giving Josh Duggar money tips – IDLYITW

Frank Gifford suffered from a concussion-related brain disease – Just Jared

The little girl who has been part of Chris Rock’s family for years is in the US on a visitor visa – Wetpaint

What in workout wear by Hefty HELL is Gwen Stefani wearing? – Popsugar

Joe Jonas and Roseanne: My new favorite it couple – SOW

Rachel McAdams, who? Mimi channeled her inner Regina George for her Emmy-worthy Christmas movie – Lainey Gossip 

Pic: Splash


Night Crumbs

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Gigi Hadid has gone from Cody Simpson to Joe Jonas and now she’s on Zayn Malik. Gigi’s PR whores deserve a bonus for working this hard around the holidays and I deserve your damn pity, because I was able to type all those names correctly without Googling. This is my life… – Lainey Gossip 

Radar claims they’ve seen clips from a sex tape where Charlie Sheen sucks some dick between smoking crack. Eh, that’s really nothing, because which one of us hasn’t sucked a dick in front of a camera for some crack? – The Superficial

I’m really disappointed in Maxim for not making that picture extra elegant by Photoshopping a stream of water shooting out of Alessandra Ambrosio’s b-hole – Drunken Stepfather

In these pictures, Richard Gere’s 32-year-old piece is acting like me after I tried Ecstasy for the first time. All vulnerable and confused. I just want to throw orange juice at her – Celebitchy

Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido from Shahs of Sunset are getting a divorce after 8 months of marriage and I’m prolapsing out of shock, because I can’t believe they lasted as long as 8 months – Reality Tea 

Here’s Megan Fox on the set of New Girl. I don’t know if she’s trying to act or if she just really has to take a piss – IDLYITW

Joseph Gordon-Levitt kissed on James Corden hard and I think James Corden may have needed to change his chonies afterward – Towleroad

Ashley Benson looks like she’s thinking to herself, “double stick tape, don’t let me down,” over and over again – Popoholic

Screw Adele, a real legendary nightingale has a new album out too – OMG Blog

Salma Hayek’s husband is a billionaire, so I don’t know why she’s wearing a Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke dress that was rented from a discount costume shop – Hollywood Tuna 

A Tremors TV show is happening – Pajiba

A judge declared that Sherri Shepherd has to continue to pay child support for the child she wants nothing to do with – Jezebel

The first promo for FOX’s Grease Live! is out. My only question besides “WHY?” is about Carly Rae Jepsen. Is she playing Frenchie or Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink? – SOW

Gwen Stefani needs to drink everything in that Starbucks cup since she’s obviously thirstier than thirsty – Popsugar

John Stamos got 3 years probation for his DUI – Just Jared

Chris Colfer is in the AbFab movie – Boy Culture


Pics: Splash


Night Crumbs

November 23, 2015 / Posted by:

Behold, all of the outfits that JLo wore as host of the American Music Awards. That catsuit she wore in the opening number sort of looks like a bedazzled magic eye painting. If I stare at her ass long enough, I think I see Casper Smart going to a glory hole – Lainey Gossip 

Kylie Jenner was dressed up like some bondage space hooker last night. So in other words, she was dressed more elegant than usual – The Superficial 

What the VIP room in heaven looks like: Thor with kitties – Celebitchy

Excuse me while I squirt six bottles of Purell directly onto my eyeballs after seeing Miley Cyrus suck on a bunch of stranger fingers – (NSFW because there’s hillbilly chipmunk nipples in this post) Drunken Stepfather

The Texas T-Rex is such an ultra guy’s guy and no, that’s not code for “mega gay” – IDLYITW

Selena Gomez looks like she’s wearing a sequined sack held together with a whip – Popoholic

Elisabeth Hasselback isn’t going to be on TV anymore – Jezebel

I thought this was a recent pic of Brad Pitt for a minute – Starcasm

Don’t even think of covering Adele’s “Hello,” because Missy Piggy did it better than anyone  – OMG Blog


Reid Ewing, the dude from Modern Family who wrote about his plastic surgery addiction, came out as a lover of peen on Twitter – Towleroad

Okay, John Oliver, answer me this. If we got rid of pennies, what kind of coin will I use at the pressed penny art machine at Knott’s Berry Farm? – Pajiba

I really need to report Meghan Trainor and Charlie Puth’s gross make-out session on the American Music Awards to the FCC – Popsugar

A hot robber robbed one of Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurants – Reality Tea 

A true Australian hero – Hollywood Tuna 

This visual definition of chill is this hamster leisurely nibbling on a carrot – The Berry 

Note: The CAPTION THIS Contest is taking the day off (I know, that lazy bitch) and it’ll be back tomorrow.

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

November 20, 2015 / Posted by:

The premiere for the newest Rocky movie Creed happened in Hollywood last night. Michael B. Jordan was there looking hot and Sylvester Stallone’s eyebrows continued to reach for the heavens, but I bet that while the photographers took these pictures, they screamed, “Fuck you two! Where’s the goddess Jackie Stallone?!” – Lainey Gossip

I see that the Duggars trotted out Anna Duggar for their stupid TLC special – Jezebel

HA! Like Amy Schumer goes to the gym! Those are her words, not mine – Celebitchy

The Real Housemesses of New York City are as close, friendly and lovable as ever – Reality Tea 

Sarah Palin wants to slay some salmon with Louis C.K. That is definitely a euphemism and I guess even Mama Grizzly’s got ginger fever – The Superficial 

Len Wiseman’s new piece is an Instagram model – Drunken Stepfather

The Shannon Twins have transformed into blond Kardashians – Hollywood Tuna 

Giada De Laurentiis’ GUMS – Popoholic

And here’s David Bowie to show all the try-hard bitches how weird is really done – Towleroad

If you told me Melissa McCarthy was starring in movie that was very Troop Beverly Hills, I’d tell you to please hold me, because Hollywood keeps hurting my soul. But you know, this trailer actually made me laugh a lot – Pajiba

Jada Pinkett Smith looks like she’s got Christmas ornament pasties covering her nipples. I guess her tits are really, really ready for the holidays – HuffPo

In case you couldn’t tell from the human obviously growing in her body, Jamie Dornan’s wife is knocked up – Just Jared

So is Seth Meyers’ wife – Popsugar

Presenting this week’s panty creamer buffet – The Berry 

Rose McGowan shaved her head – SOW

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

November 19, 2015 / Posted by:

After a whole lot of people commented on how white The Hollywood Reporter’s annual actresses roundtable cover is, the editors said that sadly, no women of color are in the Oscar competition this year. I don’t know what people are talking about. I see two brown-haired ones, an Aussie and four Brits. That’s diversity! – Lainey Gossip 

St. Angie Jolie’s LinkedIn profile must be miles long, because in addition to acting, directing, saint-ing and mother-ing, it’s also her job to love Brad PittCelebitchy

Either Kourtney Kartrashian’s butt is blurred out or she filled her ass crack with fillers – Drunken Stepfather

My stomach is eating itself just from thinking about the sex tape that Teresa Giudice and Juicy Joe will release to pay their tax lien – Reality Tea 

Adele’s new album 25 won’t be on any streaming services, but that’s okay, because I’m sure all of my neighbors will blast it 24/7 – Jezebel

The Slow One and Scott Isadick have stopped pretending that they’re broken up – The Superficial 

Bitch Got Sued: The Mike Huckabee Edition – Towleroad

I stared way too long at Kate Hudson’s crotch to see if I could spot a sequined camel toe – Popoholic

I’m just going to assume that Pixie Lott is doing Jem/Iggy Azalea cosplay – Hollywood Tuna 

If you want to send Debra Messing a dick pic, don’t. Send it to me instead – SOW

Pimp Mama Kris’ kept piece wants more money to marry her. He really did learn from the best whore on the stroll – Starcasm

Our Lady of Cheetos has such a giving heart – The Berry 

Ladylike refinement and sophistication brought to you by this pristine rose petal from Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood  – The Nip Slip 

Fifty Shades of Black really does look a trillion times better and more entertaining than Fifty Shades of Grey Pajiba

Charlie Sheen is writing his memoir – Just Jared

Halle Berry’s working those berry pit juice stains on her dress – Popsugar

Pic: The Hollywood Reporter


Night Crumbs

November 18, 2015 / Posted by:

The full trailer to the sequel of Snow White and the Huntsman (SANS Kristen Stewart as Slow White) called The Huntsman: Winter’s War is out and when youngins’ see Emily Blunt as the Snow Queen, they’re going to be really, really confused as to why her ass is not singing that “Let It Go” song – Lainey Gossip 

The fetus in Chrissy Teigen’s body is growing – Popoholic

Zayn Malik would like everyone to know that none of the dudes in One Direction are in a relationship with each other. Sure, they butt bone each other any chance they get, but they are not in a relationship with each other. Got it? Good! – Towleroad

Justin Bieber is either a shit head who thinks you can catch HIV by breathing in the same air or he doesn’t want Charlie Sheen to ask him for a loan – The Superficial

David Beckham is People’s Sexiest Man Alive AND Avril Lavigne and Ryan Cabrera are living together as roommates. Okay, if it’s going to be the year 2004 again, can I please go back to my 2004 weight too? – OMG Blog 

Um, if Snooki and her husband got a show flipping Ewok huts, shouldn’t it be on SyFy instead something called the FYI Network? – Reality Tea 

Gwen Stefani wishes her marriage didn’t end. Translation: Gwen Stefani wishes her slut whore husband didn’t fuck the nanny – HuffPo

Vintage elegance and pristine glamour brought to you by the Daytona Beach Florida Erotica book – Drunken Stepfather

RIP Details Magazine. It’s a sad day, because when a gay angel loses his wings – Jezebel

Khlozilla got a staph infection – Just Jared

Charlie Sheen basically kept the hooker industry in L.A. alive for years – IDLYITW

I guess dolphin hybrids and humans can mate because Michael Phelps is going to be somebody’s daddy – Popsugar

Adele is a honey card carrying-member of the Beyhive – Celebitchy

Rita Ora giving you 90s truck stop hooker glamour – Hollywood Tuna 

Pierce Brosnan is just like you! He thought Spectre was way too damn long – Pajiba

Internet issues have been stabbing at my last nerve today, so I really needed this G-rated donkey show – The Berry 

Oh look, Mimi and I have the same work ethic! – SOW


Night Crumbs

November 17, 2015 / Posted by:

Here’s Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux at a charity event in NYC last night. Their “high school boyfriend and girlfriend at the spring dance” picture is sweet until I tell you that she had her head surgically attached to his. No, she didn’t. I think. – Lainey Gossip 

Hey, did you know that Miley Cyrus smoked weed???!??? – Drunken Stepfather

Tip from LeAnn Rimes: Human prenatal vitamins makes the mane of a luck dragon grow fast – Celebitchy

Vicki Gunvalson of the Real Housewives of Orange County is praising Jesus now that she can smother her daughter 24/7 – Reality Tea 

Chelsea Handler’s nipples have retired from their career as social media models – The Superficial 

Lady Bunny dragged all the Drag Race queens in this brilliant parody of “Vogue” – OMG Blog 

I’m sad that there wasn’t one unicorn in a Santa hat in the first trailer for Mimi’s Hallmark Channel Christmas movie – Jezebel

Kate Hudson did yoga shit in Harper’s BazaarHollywood Tuna 

Jennifer Lawrence wore another Dior dress and it’s not totally a mess – Popoholic

Salt Lake City got its first openly gayelle mayor – Towleroad

For Where Are Your Brows: The Cate Blanchett In W Magazine Edition – Just Jared


Kids of today don’t know how a Walkman works. Shocking, I know – The Berry 

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are co-hosting Saturday Night Live – HuffPo

Eye patches + British accents + a lot of white people + all the CGI + a giant sand monster + a shit ton of shit = the Gods of Egypt trailer – Pajiba

Adam Levine got a giant back tattoo of a mermaid hugging a skull, because of course he did – Popsugar

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

November 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Jessica Biel wore this mess of a dress to the Baby2Baby Gala and she probably thinks it screams, “I AM FASHION,” but to me it screams, “Some wear their heart on their sleeves, I wear my pussy lips!” – Lainey Gossip

Christina Milian did Mickey Mouse proud, because a bit of her nip made an appearance at a Disney event – Drunken Stepfather

The crazy on Real Housewives of New York City will be reduced by 95% next season if Ramona Singer, Sonja Morgan and Countess LuMann were really demoted to “Friend of..” – Reality Tea 

FYI: Sarah Palin says that God has once again forgiven Bristol Palin for making a baby while not being married  – Starcasm

Okay, but my takeaway from this post is that Ashley Benson could really use a good brow brushing – The Superficial 

Gay rugby player ass alert – OMG Blog

Madge got teary while speaking about the attacks in Paris during her show in Stockholm – Towleroad

“Already hit it, already hit it, already hit it, going to hit it next, already hit it,” said Leonardo DiCatchAHo while looking at these pictures of the topless VS Angels – (NSFW) The Nip Slip 

The Internet Is Awful: The Ariel Winter Edition – IDLYITW

Kiki Dunst likes a masculine manly man who opens the door for her and pays for dinner – Celebitchy

This cat wants the Q-Tip, but for a totally different reason – The Berry 

Panty Creamer of the Day: A topless Alexander SkarsgardPopsugar

Since cats will be our rulers one day, it’s only fitting for them to be at the G20 Summit – Jezebel

Amber Rose’s hair looks like carpet with vacuum lines – Hollywood Tuna 

Jessica Alba wore a lot of dress to that Baby2Baby thing – Popoholic

Rose McGowan thinks that Caitlyn Jenner is doing a shit job at representing women – Just Jared

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

November 13, 2015 / Posted by:

Robert Pattinson has never EVER looked hotter or more glamorous in this picture and I’m only saying that because he’s got an exquisitely gorgeous emu on his shoulder – Lainey Gossip

The one from How To Get Away With Murder who kind of looks like Jennifer Connelly to me (squint and you may see it) is in GQ MexicoDrunken Stepfather

Oh please, I’m sure St. Angie Jolie and Brad Pitt’s child army have certain classes they have to take like “how to put together the perfect all-black ensemble” and “how to find the nearest toy store in under 5 minutes” – Celebitchy

If there’s a documentary about MC Hammer’s life, that’s the one Justin Bieber should watch since that’s probably his future – The Superficial 

Kyle Richards spent $1.5 million on renovating her house. And I’m sure she got most of that money from stealing her sister’s GODDAMN HOUSE! – Reality Tea 

RiRi’s nipples look like tiny copper thimbles – The Nip Slip 

Crispy Ronaldo got a facial – Towleroad

You know that purple crop sweater you wore on the first day of the 8th grade in 1988? I think your parents sold it in a garage sale and Xtina bought it – Hollywood Tuna 

Why is one of Squidward’s flowers clinging to Olivia Wilde’s tit? – Popoholic

Nathan Fillion and one of George Clooney’s ex-pieces are doing it on the regular – Just Jared

Scott Disick checked out of rehab and the first thing he did was buy a new Mercedes, because you know, priorities – Starcasm

John Oliver is a dad – Pajiba

Finally, there’s another human on earth who hates that “Wheels on the Bus” song – The Berry 

ICYMI: Cheyenne Jackson’s ass – OMG Blog

There I go again, mistaking Zoe Kravitz’s hot boyfriend for her hot dad – Popsugar

Pic: Getty (Thanks to everyone who pointed that pic out to me)


Night Crumbs

November 12, 2015 / Posted by:

Goopy Paltrow thinks her “consciously uncoupled” statement broke the fucking Internet. Goop needs to get over herself, because it didn’t break the Internet. It broke a million eye rolling muscles, but it didn’t break the Internet – The Superficial 

Scotland went crazy for George Clooney and his pepaw goatee – Lainey Gossip

Star Magazine says that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux sleep in separate bedrooms, which makes sense. Jennifer probably hates it that Justin’s shoe polish hair dye gets all over the pillowcases and he hates that all her Cabbage Patch dolls take up 80% of the space in the bed – Celebitchy

Ramona Singer, Sonja Morgan and Countess LuMann are refusing to shoot the new season of Real Housewives of New York City until they get paid as much as Bethenny Frankel. Fire them all, cancel that shit and give La Bruja from Real Housewives of Miami her own show! – Reality Tea 

Charlotte McKinney is in GQ looking a little ScarJo-esque in the face – Drunken Stepfather

Zachary Quinto loves sluts – OMG Blog

Selena Gomez’s pants look like latte-flavored Fruit Roll-Ups – Popoholic

ABC is crazy because two dudes dancing together doesn’t even come close to the gayest thing that has been on Dancing with the StarsTowleroad

Today in timely: Someone named Abigail Ratchford recreated Kim Kartrashian’s Paper Magazine cover – IDLYITW

This talented bulldog has accomplished more in a minute than I have in my entire life! – Hollywood Tuna 

Wait, so this Jennifer Garner movie is actually coming out in theaters and won’t be released directly to the Hallmark Channel? – Pajiba

The director of Fear (yeah, that Marky Mark and Laura Jeanne Poon movie) is directing the next two Fifty Shades of Shit movies – Just Jared

And here I was thinking that Scarlett from Nashville was wearing a wig – SOW

Amy Schumer’s 1 bedroom Manhattan apartment can be all yours for the rock bottom price of $2 million! – The Berry  

Oh, Judge Gail Standish is just trying to get into Taylor Swift’s squad – HuffPo

Yorkie smuggler Amber Heard said words to Marie Claire  – Popsugar



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