Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

October 24, 2016 / Posted by:

Mimi threw an early Halloween party over the weekend and she dressed up like some kind of slutty angel devil dominatrix. Mimi must have made plans to go to mass afterward, because for her, this is practically a church ensemble. I mean, most of Mimi’s body is covered up and there’s no VPL (visible punane lines). And I do love Mimi’s homage to Naomi Smalls’ cliffhangersLainey Gossip

ScarJo’s gourmet popcorn shop in Paris had its soft opening and that’s great for the popcorn-starved people of Paris, but my question is, why does she still have Kate Gosselin circa 2009 hair? – Celebitchy

It’s 2016 and photographers are still taking Rebecca Black’s picture – Drunken Stepfather

I guess that tall drink of douche from Vanderpump Rules and his piece really want to break up, because they are apparently going to star in a spin-off reality show together – Reality Tea 

In that GIF of James Franco demonstrating how his co-star stuffed a speedo, it looks like he’s vigorously lubing up an asshole before fisting it – Towleroad

Maxim celebrated Slutoween early by throwing a party full of sparkling A-list stars, and I’m guessing that Tara Reid came dressed as a walking PSA about the dangers of back alley lipo (and other things) – The Superficial 

No. – OMG Blog


I didn’t think it was possible, but Time Warner’s customer service may actually get shittier – Pajiba

Miley Cyrus looks like she’s trying to toss her own salad and is close to succeeding at it. I really need to do more yoga… – Popoholic

Okay, but what does Hillary Clinton think about Miley Cyrus murdering a Fraggle and wearing that poor creature on her head? – IDLYITW

Victoria Justice wore a wig bra in KODE magazine – Hollywood Tuna

Good luck with that, ex-Mrs. Subway JaredJezebel

When I grow up, I want to be a stoned Goldie Hawn laughing with Kurt Russell in a parking lot while holding orange juice in a jar – Popsugar

Orlando Bloom saved a down-and-out stray dog in China – HuffPo

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

October 21, 2016 / Posted by:

Cate Blanchett’s husband got papped “canoodling” with a much younger actress he works with sometimes. Either they’re just really close friends who touch a lot, or Cate and her husband keep it open, or 2016 still hasn’t gotten full from eating so many marriages and is coming for another  – Lainey Gossip 

Donald Glover is the young Billy Dee Williams in the latest Star Wars movie, and on a different note, how in the hell many Star Wars movies do we need as a people? – Pajiba

True story, Christina Milian is wearing the first concept design for a nun’s habit – Drunken Stepfather 

Detective Obvious, Heather Dubrow, has some brand new tips on how you rich whores can keep yourselves and your jewels safe! – Reality Tea 

The benevolent Posh Beckham has graciously decided to make fashions for you poor peasants – Celebitchy

It’s Friday, so get into the soft, swinging peen belonging to a British reality trick – (NSFW) OMG Blog

John Mayer is selling fancy laundry detergent for 35 damn dollars a bottle, and that would be a steal if that stuff also sanitizes twats that have been tainted by John Mayer – The Superficial 

Kate Gosselin has allegedly accused Jon Gosselin of being a bad shit peddler who may have an inappropriate relationship with his daughter – WWTDD

Jake Gyllenhaal is angry, wet and hairy in the new trailer for Nocturnal AnimalsTowleroad

Justin Theroux should’ve kept that look because he’s never looked sexier – Popsugar

This is what the new Anne of Green Gables looks like – Jezebel

Scottie Pippen is done with his wife after 19 years of marriage. Scottie’s wife was in the Real  Housewives of Miami, so of course, my first question after reading about this was: But what does La Bruja think?! – HuffPo

Maria Bartiromo brought a whole lot of “Pretty Woman going to the opera” elegance to the Al Smith dinner – Hollywood Tuna 

Nev Schulman and his attention whore piece brought the eye rolls with their pregnancy announcement and also with pretty much everything they did after that, so I was expecting for them to give their baby a weird name. But in a shocking plot twist, they didn’t, and I’m disappointed – Just Jared

Kendall Jenner looks like she just had a four-way with the Blue Man Group – Popoholic



Night Crumbs

October 20, 2016 / Posted by:

When Prince Hot Ginge met miniature Carrot Top ovaries I didn’t know I had exploded, came together and exploded again – Lainey Gossip

It’s going to cost $300,000 to save Dorothy’s ruby slippers. I’ll gladly do it for $300 and all I need is a bottle of glue, some red spray paint and a $10 gift certificate to Michael’s – Towleroad

Because you care, this is what Kenya Moore cacas in – Reality Tea

People says that Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronfsky are casually dating. In other words, they’re fuck buddies – Celebitchy

Will the Oscar tricks give one of the Fast & Furious movies a pity award already so Vin Diesel can stop with this shit?  – Pajiba

The Logan trailer needed more Wolverine nips – The Superficial 

Speaking of, here’s Milla Jovovich’s nips – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Tallulah Willis maybe got married – WWTDD

The riveting footage of Kim Kardashian’s alleged robbers getting away on bikes really needs to be mashed up with the E.T. theme – Just Jared

I demand the death penalty to whoever did this to this puppeh (unless puppeh did it to himself) – OMG Blog

Emma Roberts is always ready for a flood – Popoholic

FYI, Justin Bieber still hates his fans – IDLYITW

Okay, but why didn’t Tommy Cruise re-enact his greatest performance from that batshit Scientology video? – SOW

Shay Mitchell worked a swimsuit made of dyed Ace bandages on SelfHollywood Tuna

Zack Morris looks like a living and breathing police sketch – Popsugar

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

October 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Madonna has promised to blow anybody like a water bottle if you vote for Hillary Clinton. Three things: 1. You’re not helping her, Madge. 2. Does she take her Grillz off? 3. Can I get the cash value instead? – Towleroad

Panty Creamer of the Day: Idris Elba’s bedroom voice – Lainey Gossip

Gigi Hadid admits what everyone has known since the first time her foot touched a catwalk – Celebitchy

Lady Gaga is giving you 99 Cent Store Silkwood cosplay – Drunken Stepfather

Why millions of nerd boners sprung up today: the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 trailer came out – The Superficial

It’s official: Hollywood hates Gene WilderPajiba

Finally, some real high-brow entertainment: the trailer for season 3 of Ladies of London has been released – Reality Tea 

Mila Kunis is still pregnant – Popoholic

In case you’ve never seen it, here’s the sweaty man ass of Lip Gallagher from Shameless – OMG Blog

Never mind Khlozilla’s wookie nips, methinks her face is starting to melt – The Nip Slip 

Colin Firth is probably going to be in the Mary Poppins sequel – Popsugar

Elizabeth Hurley has still got it – Hollywood Tuna 

Someone tell Ivanka Trump that if she really wants to see a “mulatto cock” all she has to do is type “mulatto cock” in PornHub. You would think that her dad would’ve already shown her that trick – Jezebel

James Franco either head-butted a dude in the stomach or was trying to blow him. You decide! – IDLYITW

Ciara and her new husband wasted no time and he may have already bareback boned a fetus into her – Just Jared

Pic: Instagram


Night Crumbs

October 18, 2016 / Posted by:

Jake Gyllenhaal and Jon Hamm presented together at a Broadway fundraiser for Hillary Clinton. If you ask me, their presentation was a total flop, because they didn’t sing and the Hammaconda didn’t make a cameo appearance. They missed out on the perfect opportunity to sing a duet as the Hammaconda harmonized with them. I bet the Hammaconda has a gorgeous voice – Lainey Gossip

Phil Collins and his stunning third ex-wife got back together 8 years after they divorced and she got a $30 million settlement. So if she re-married and eventually re-divorced Phil, will she get another settlement? If that ever happens, she’ll become a supreme goddess to all gold diggers! – Celebitchy

Bella Thorne did a Playboy spread where she showed less than she shows on Snapchat – Drunken Stepfather

I judge every single one of the people who entered a contest to win a tour of Kenya Moore’s house – Reality Tea

Teyana Taylor got oiled-up for PaperThe Superficial

Anna Kendrick is probably pissed that her stylist made her wear that Little House on the Prairie quince dress – IDLYITW

ScarJo chose the perfect dress that can easily take her from the event to her bed – Popoholic

This kitty is either an adorable hero and is trying to save their human from drowning in the tub. Or that kitty is an evil demon and is trying to bite their humans’ wrists so she bleeds to death and it looks like a suicide. Either or! – Hollywood Tuna

I watched all 9 boring minutes of “73 Questions with Emma Stone” and only because I wanted to see her do Britney Spears better than Britney Spears does Britney Spears  – OMG Blog

Frank Ocean isn’t going to get a Grammy next year – Towleroad

Every poster for the new season of the Gilmore Girls looks like the badly Photoshopped cover of a YA e-book – Pajiba

Okay, but what in Sister Wives meets Calico Corners HELL is Lauryn Hill wearing? – Popsugar

In news that was bound to happen, Candy Crush is becoming a game show – Starcasm

If your retinas really needed to be exposed to the sight of a topless Tallulah Willis grabbing her own pussy in an ugly bathroom, here you go – Just Jared

I usually write about Ryan Lochte acting like a boner, so it’s refreshing to write about him popping one instead – SOW

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

October 17, 2016 / Posted by:

While dressed up in Lumineers cosplay, Justin Timberlake went to the premiere of Jessica Biel’s movie. I have to give them points for coordinating their looks. I mean, Justin’s facial expression says, “I just made a wet poopy in my diaper,” and Jessica’s dress looks like it was made out of baby diarrhea leather – Lainey Gossip

If you’ve been looking for a last-minute Halloween costume that will bring the nostalgia and sexiness, take a tip from Misty Copeland and dress up like a slutty leg lamp from A Christmas StoryDrunken Stepfather

So in other words, Kylie Jenner has had a nose job, butt implants, breast implants & more – Celebitchy

Maksim Chmerkovskiy is done with Dancing with the Has-BeensReality Tea

Reason #9,999,999,999,999,999,9999 for why Dolly Parton is a gift to us all – OMG Blog

Shep Smith sort of kind of came out of the glass closet to defend Ole’ Raw Hamburger HuevosTowleroad

200 people walked out of Amy Schumer’s show in Tampa after she started Trump bashing. Errr, if you go to an Amy Schumer show, you should 100% expect her to get into some Trump bashing and you shouldn’t be shocked when she does. That’s like me walking away from a glory hole after a dude sticks his dick through it – The Superficial 

I hate Amber Tamblyn now. She ruined I Wanna Sex You Up for me – Pajiba

Why do I want to hang all of my keys on Victoria Justice’s dress? – Popoholic

In case you didn’t already know, running up behind a horse will probably lead to you needing a CT scan – Hollywood Tuna 

A rainforest charity has called out Leonardo DiCatchAHo as a faux environmentalist and told him to step down from his UN position – WWTDD

For a quick second, I thought that Tina Yothers had gone back to blond – The Nip Slip 

Here’s Mrs. Rojo Caliente as Nancy ReaganSOW

RIGGED! You know that a Price Is Right production assistant is in the back stopping that wheel. You can’t fool me, Drew Carey!  Just Jared

Swoooooon – Popsugar



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