Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

January 19, 2017 / Posted by:

This is the first official picture of Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis and Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford in FX’s Feud. I’ll save my thoughts for when I see them in action, because that picture isn’t giving me Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. It’s giving me Susan Sarandon in costume as Mrs. White from Clue and Jessica Lange as Leona Helmsley. Also, that Joan Crawford eyebrow situation just isn’t right. Those brows should be so thick that they stain my monitor. And yes that was me “saving my thoughts” – Just Jared

Sebastian Stan looks like he’s not legally allowed to live near a school, so what I’m trying to say is that he nailed the Jeff Gillooly look – Lainey Gossip

More like SCAT WillisDrunken Stepfather

Three seconds after breaking up with her last pap stroll partner, Hillary Duff has thankfully found a new pap stroll partner – Celebitchy

Ben Affleck’s (probably real) back tattoo must have breathed a fiery sigh of relief after it learned it was cut out of Live By Night. It already has to suffer the embarrassment of being on Ben Affleck’s back. It didn’t also need to suffer the embarrassment of being in Live By Night The Superficial

Caitlyn Jenner and Donald Trump may dance together for a photo-op. Sounds about right – Towleroad

Ex-Real Housewives of New York City cast member Jules Wainstein may soon be knocking on Dorinda Medley’s door to ask for a place to crash – Reality Tea

It looks like Vanessa Hudgens pulled her top down to give you shoulders and tan lines, and I love it – Popoholic

The trailer for the Power Rangers movie is out and it looks really, really good. No, it looks like a piece of shit and now I want to see it – Pajiba

No. – SOW

Emily RideAJetSki really needs to “work” on her lighting because that mess is too dark – Hollywood Tuna 

This is why nerds squirt today – IDLYITW

And this is why UGG-wearing, pumpkin spice latte drinkers squirt today – Popsugar

Vintage sequined glamour brought to you by Teri Hatcher and a tone-deaf version of It’s Raining MenBoy Culture

File under FUCK FUCK FUCK CANCER: Miguel José Ferrer from NCIS: Los Angeles, Crossing Jordan and Twin Peaks has died at the age of 61 – HuffPo

Pic: Entertainment Weekly

 

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Night Crumbs

January 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Neither Amal or George Clooney have said anything about the rumor that she’s got twins growing her womb and is due to birth them out in March, but she did show up to an event last night with not much of a bump. I bet that Amal and George are expecting twins in March, but she’s not the one who’s knocked up, he is. I mean, that blazer is looking a little tight around the bump area – Lainey Gossip

The Baywatch movie got a calendar – Drunken Stepfather

Emma Watson thinks that Belle from Beauty and the Beast is a better role model than Cinderella. Yeah, Belle’s a great role model, alright, a great role model for aspiring animal fuckers – Celebitchy

That’s not Scott Isadick’s dick, silly. That’s the pair of Arthur George socks he keeps in his sweats just in case he runs into Rob Kardashian and needs to slip them on real quick. And yes, I don’t know the names of all the state capitals, but I do know the name of Rob’s sock line. Just bury me alive now – The Superficial

Chance the Rapper’s brother came out as a lover of peen and punane – Towleroad

Okay, but what in Effie Trinket-going-to-a-funeral HELL is Rita Ora wearing? – The Nip Slip

If the definition for “juicy” has been changed to “full of plastic,” then I agree with Kylie Jenner’s Juicy Couture sweats! – Popoholic

If you click through these Hilary Duff walking pictures real fast, it’s like a flipbook! I know, it’s the little things… – IDLYITW

George Carlin’s words, now paired with puppy GIFs – Pajiba

This straight dude watching The Bachelor needs to follow the contestants’ lead and guzzle down a glass of wine, or two – Hollywood Tuna

Pennsatucky is not leaving Orange is the New BlackJust Jared 

According to Kathy Griffin, Josh Groban is a real mega slut – SOW

Matt LeBlanc’s daughter and I have something in common – Popsugar

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Night Crumbs

January 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Seen above with her latest toy/man accessory/walking guide Bryan Tanaka, Mimi was in London were she got over $3 million to perform at the wedding of a Russian billionaire’s granddaughter. If I was that Russian rich girl, I’d demand that Mimi sing Touch My Body in my native tongue, because seeing her try to lip-synch in Russian would be worth every ruble – Lainey Gossip 

Jamie Dornan is on the cover of GQ Australia making the same face I made when a server at Red Robin told me they were all out of freckled lemonade. How does that happen? That shit should come out of the faucets there – Celebitchy

This spread of Gigi and Bella Hadid should be titled: Upstaged By Wallpaper – Drunken Stepfather

And somewhere in Coto, Vicki Gunvalson is working on her next storyline (aka accusing Tamra Judge of making up skin cancer for attention) – Reality Tea

Here I was thinking that Goopy Paltrow’s kidney stones are worth at least a few thousand dollars, but now I’m hearing that she puts $66 cooch-tightening stone eggs in her. I know, just $66! Is she broke? – The Superficial 

That rock Jennifer Holliday was vacationing under must’ve been lovely – Towleroad

Elizabeth Olsen emotes drama even while looking for her car in a grocery store parking lot – Popoholic

Naked videos starring a British twink diver not named Tom Daley are making the rounds – OMG Blog

Netflix released the trailer for that show where Drew Barrymore plays a zombie in Santa Clarita, CA. I have family in Santa Clarita and whenever I go, I have to get as stoned as a zombie to deal, so I can sort of relate to this show – Pajiba

You know your mind runs on gutter water when you watch this video and think, “DAMN! His beej skills must be next level!” – Hollywood Tuna

As the chirrun on Twitter say: keep it! – Starcasm

Charlie Sheen tells RiRi he’s sorry for calling her a bitch – Just Jared

This world can be a real shit hole, but there is light sometimes like this smile-inducing video of Betty Fucking White on her 95th birthday – Boy Culture

Pic: Splash

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Night Crumbs

January 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt showed his face at a charity event over the weekend and even though the public shit-throwing with Angelina Jolie is done (for now), I’m sure that after this picture was taken, a member of her team ripped that long cardigan off of him. Yes, it looks better on Brad, but he’s still not getting Angie’s favorite cardigan in the divorce!  – Lainey Gossip

Amber Heard supposedly can’t wait to go public with Elon Musk – Celebitchy

It looks like NeNe Leakes is onto her third face and it also looks like the entire intimates section of a JcPenney violently shat up on Marlo HamptonReality Tea

The same thing goes for The Slow OneDrunken Stepfather

Okay, James Corden and Bryan Cranston, kiss again, but do it with feeling this time and by feeling I mean tongue – Towleroad

The face that Justin Beiber’s au pair (that’s his au pair, right?) is making says everything that needs to be said about this story – The Superficial

That’s a really weird-looking dildo that Natalie Portman is holding” is a thought I had until I realized she’s holding a water bottle – Popoholic

1/10th of Amy Adam’s nipple plates came out to play the other night – (NSFW) The Nip Slip

They tell me that this is Tyler Posey’s dick – OMG Blog 

This is the most hilariously stupid thing that Rob Schneider has done and that’s saying a lot since he’s been in (insert the title of absolutely any movie he’s starred in) – Pajiba

Jeff Goldblum and his wife confirm the obvious – Just Jared

Bella Thorne took some Polaroids that look like they were taken at an audition for a no-budget amateur porn video – Hollywood Tuna 

Julianne Hough’s face is saying, “OHMYGAWD, look it’s the paps,” but on the inside she’s probably thinking, “Motherfuckers are late. I texted them 20 minutes ago” – IDLYITW

It must have been pretty depressing for Ryan Gosling to watch that video because that was him at his peak and it’s all been downhill from there – SOW

Pic: Getty

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Night Crumbs

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Some people have just discovered that Blake NotSoLively says she’s part Cherokee in L’Oréal ads and I wish everyone would shut up about it before a dumb Hollywood executive gets ideas and casts her in a Sacagawea biopic – Lainey Gossip

This may be a bit embarrassing for you, but Maitland Ward is wearing the exact same outfit you wore to work today – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather 

FYI: Marie Osmond is not performing at the inauguration, but honestly if she did, she’d be the biggest star there – Celebitchy

Okay, but what is that animatronic cat doing? Is she putting dandruff on her ass or ass dust on her hair? – The Superficial

Will that Nicola Peltz person please wear a lighter colored top next time so that we can get a better look at her dog, the true star of the picture? – Popoholic

Mimi Imfurst is truly first when it comes to American drag queens performing in Cuba – Towleroad

Pro tip of the day: Unless you’re Shelley Long’s Outrageous Fortune character, jumping from subway platform to subway platform is a really fucking dumb idea – Hollywood Tuna

And I thought Fix-A-Flat asses were beyond nightmare inducing – OMG Blog

Twice this week  (the first time was at the Golden Globes) I’ve been reminded that Sylvester Stallone named one of his daughters SistineIDLYITW

Those of you who screamed out a million YAAASSSes over Donald Glover playing Lando Calrissian may have second thoughts after finding out that Atlanta has been pushed to 2018 because of Star Wars  – Pajiba

Lamar Odom is obviously not 100% okay yet, because he’s saying crazy shit like how he wants Khlozilla back – Starcasm

A Living Single reboot may happen – Jezebel

Steve Harvey met with Donald Trump to discuss working with Ben Carson on housing issues. I was going to say that Trump is going to meet with Jerry Springer next, but Springer is actually qualified for a political position so that’s not going to happen – Just Jared

Billy Elliot is getting married to Kate MaraPopsugar

Jaden Smith went full Jaden Smith after failing his driving test and he had a “meltdown” in the DMV parking lot. Oh please, Jaden shouldn’t feel so special. Who hasn’t had a meltdown in the DMV parking lot? – Metro UK

Pic: L’Oréal

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Night Crumbs

January 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Behold, possibly the first pap picture of Taylor Swift taken in 2017. And who knew that “laughing at Tom Hiddleston’s cringeworthy Golden Globes speech” is an exercise that will make your chichis bigger – Lainey Gossip 

I hope that Leah Remini’s mission to get Scientology stripped of its tax-exempt status comes true and I hope that cameras are recording David Miscavige when he finds out. Because I want to see his head pop off in a rage and fly through the universe to his home planet – Celebitchy

Kristen Bell should’ve worn that ensemble to the Golden Globes instead – Drunken Stepfather

LOVE Magazine still doesn’t know what “advent” means and I guess that’s good news for everyone who’s into Kate Upton’s magnificent chichis – The Superficial

It looks like the rug section at Pier 1 Imports had a fight on Emma Stone’s body – Popoholic

Watching animals react to snow the same way the Lohans react to a pile of coke never gets old – Hollywood Tuna

FYI: The third Hemsworth brother’s ass looks like this – OMG Blog

Here’s Julianne Hough doing her daily workout (aka walking for the paps she called) – IDLYITW

Will Smith may be in Tim Burton’s Dumbo movie and no, he’s not in talks to play the title role – Pajiba

Kiss slut Andrew Garfield drew the line at kissing Kelly RippaSOW

Ryan Murphy says that Feud isn’t going to be campy, but I’m still marking down March 5th as Camp Christmas – Popsugar

2017 isn’t starting off so bad after all – Just Jared

Pic: Pacific Coast News

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