Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

July 28, 2015 / Posted by:

Tupac and Biggie are up in heaven sharing a toast, because they have finally made it now that their names are on ugly, tacky and god awful $1700 clutches sold exclusively on GOOP – Jezebel

Rachel McAdams may star in the Doctor Strange movie with Bendthatdick CumsinsnatchesLainey Gossip

Khloe Kartrashian’s un-Photoshopped picture looks pretty Photoshopped – The Superficial

Dame St. Angie Jolie says that she’s never really loved acting. So basically, St. Angie Jolie’s greatness is so strong that she doesn’t even have to put her whole heart into acting and she still gets that Oscar – Celebitchy

Err, which one is Lady Gaga and which one is Dorinda from Real Housewives of New York City? – Reality Tea

Is the secret ingredient in Hype crack, because they were obviously on that bad shit when they came up with the idea to dress up Kim Kartrashian as Audrey Hepburn and Marie Antoinette (more like Marie AnTWATnette) for their ad – Drunken Stepfather

Nicole Scherzinger’s nipple came out to play in Mykonos – (NSFWish) The Nip Slip

If I put my ear up to this picture of Beyonce’s pushed-up chichis, I’d probably hear them say, “Bring on the pregnancy rumors…”  – Egotastic

Kylie Jenner needed more attention, I see – WWTDD

So I guess we now know who bought that 55-gallon drum of lube from Amazon. This anchor did – SOW

The evil cunt of a dentist from Little Shop of Horrors lives and he recently killed a lion in Africa. RIP CecilTowleroad

Mary J. Blige as Evilene in The Wiz Live? Grace Jones was robbed! – Just Jared

Boo Boo Kitty and the hottest son from Empire are getting married – Popsugar

The look on the girl with the purple hair in the background is saying everything I want to say about Ireland Baldwin and Whateverthatonesnameis Baldwin air kissing – Hollywood Tuna 

Quentin Tarantino probably has an entire room wallpapered with pictures of Emma Watson’s feets – IDLYITW

Is Mila Kunis wearing Dickies? – Popoholic


Night Crumbs

July 27, 2015 / Posted by:

While hosting a party at a club in Las Vegas on Saturday night, Mimi blinded her loyal subjects with the sparkles that shot off of the exquisitely opulent Claire’s pendant that decorated the space above her Tupperware titty bowls. No, it’s not from Claire’s. Mimi’s Australian billionaire boyfriend bought it for her and it cost $500,000. Can his next gift be a pair of fake eyelashes that don’t look like they were made from dust broom bristles? – Lainey Gossip 

Caitlyn Jenner’s got another grandchild – Reality Tea 

Something you needed to know: Ed Sheeran sharted on stage once – Celebitchy

Cara Delawhatever freak danced in a parking lot. She is living the life – Drunken Stepfather

Now THIS is my idea of a Thelma & Louise reboot: Phoebe Price and Frenchy from Rock of Love Bus got papped in a car – (NSFW because of Frenchy’s flashing nipple) WWTDD

The most surprising thing about this picture of George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Katy Perry is that Bill’s eyes aren’t firmly planted on her chichis – The Superficial 

Permanent yacht dweller Victoria Silvstedt is on a yacht – Egotastic

Brigitte Bardot has taken a break from being a racist to save 2 million feral cats from being sent to heaven – Jezebel

Nicole Scherzinger wore a snakeskin print dress over the weekend, just in case you were wondering what Nicole Scherzinger wore over the weekend – Popoholic

This Supergirl costume would look a whole lot better if Helen Fucking Slater was wearing it – Hollywood Tuna 

Madge’sRebel Heart” tour will have stripping nuns in it. Sounds about right – Towleroad

Bobbi Kristina Brown’s initial autopsy is complete and the Medical Examiner will not issue her official cause of death until all tests results come back in the next few weeks – Just Jared

A Charlie Hunnam double lives in the world, which means you have twice as many chances to fuck a dude who looks like Charlie Hunnam – Popsugar

Even though Canada didn’t want it, Kanye West’s Pan Am Games performance happened over the weekend and it went well. And by “went well” I mean he threw the mic and quit that bitch due to a technical glitch – HuffPo

Kanye West also shared his words of wisdom about Caitlyn Jenner’s transition in the first episode of I Am Cait. Wait, did he call Kendall Jenner a “supermodel” in that clip? Kanye is even more far gone than I thought!  – Pink Is The New Blog 

Hulk Hogan doesn’t have a black friend, but he does have black Twitter followers, which obviously means: not a racist! – Pajiba



Night Crumbs

July 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up for the 5,689th time. I’m guessing that they broke up again because the whole Taylor/Nicki/Katy feud made John realize that he hasn’t fucked Nicki yet, so he’s going to try to get on that – Lainey Gossip 

Not Kate Moss and Count Von Count! – Celebitchy

Amanda Bynes appears! And she looks good – Drunken Stepfather

The Kartrashians had a party to celebrate Pimp Mama Kris buying Kylie Jenner a diploma from an online high school and Khlozilla cleared the place with her terrifying wookie twerking – Reality Tea 

Michael Jackson wanted to play Jar Jar Binks. It would’ve been and upgrade, probably – The Superficial 

Demi Lovato serves up some “ho shit in an alley way” messiness in her new video – IDLYITW

The Philippines unleashed The Difficult Brown on the world again and for that, I will never forgive them! – Jezebel

Janet Jackson’s new video is like a really moody House Hunters house tour – Towleroad

The voice of Grumpy Cat is in a bikini – Popoholic

If God is a woman, she lost her NuvaRing in the sky – Hollywood Tuna 

Bryce Dallas Howard’s feets are crying out a stream of “WHYs” today, because she’ll have to slip back into her heels since there will be a Jurassic World 2 Egotastic

John Stamos is out of rehab and looking hot – SOW

Seeing as though every maid who works for Naomi Campbell feels like they’re trapped in an episode of American Horror Story, this is perfect – Just Jared

Nina Dobrev and her piece kiss on a yacht – Popsugar

Charlie Hunnam talks about dropping out of Fifty Shades of Shit, again – ICYDK

Maddox is working on Dame St. Angie Jolie’s Netflix movie about the Cambodian genocide in the 1970s. Expect the Oscars to add the category: Best Assistance From A Son In A Movie That Was Released Only On Netflix  – HuffPo

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

July 17, 2015 / Posted by:

And here’s the trailer for Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s latest Oscar bait movie and in every shot, he’s saying, “Oh please Academy member, oh please, gimme that Oscar. I will suck yo dick” with his eyes  – Lainey Gossip

I see that Kanye West is still styling Kim Kartrashian’s knocked up body – The Superficial

Oh, don’t mind, Peter Berg, he’s still playing the “this group is more heroic than this group” game – Towleroad

This chick throwing a bitchface at the trick who filmed her feeling the beat is all of us – Hollywood Tuna 

A SANS FARDS (yeah right) Kim Kartrashian is on the cover of Vogue Spain looking like she’s taking a boring shit – Reality Tea 

In “uh huh” news, Louis Tomlinson was drowning in pussy when he knocked up that lady friend – Celebitchy

Here comes the bride, all dressed in a neck brace and crutches – The Berry 

Rita Ora’s Virgin Mary tattoo looks like it’s throwing a side-eye and I agree with it – Drunken Stepfather

Nooooo, Sir Patrick and Sir Ian, don’t do it! – Just Jared

Brad Pitt joins Ryan Gosling in hating Costco’s caged chicken ways – ICYDK

That looks like a young James Haven behind Emily RatatouillePopoholic

Leighton Meester is still really, really pregnant – Popsugar

Uncut rugby dick alert – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Behold, the Mona Lisa of typos  – Jezebel


Night Crumbs

July 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck wore his wedding ring to the ESPYs and he’s wearing it for his kids, apparently. I’m sure there’s more to it and somebody needs to investigate this! Whoever investigates that also needs to please investigate why his Chuck Woolery circa 1984 hair is doing things to me. I don’t want that feeling – Lainey Gossip

Oh, how I wish Lindsey Vonn’s dress actually had the words “Fuck You Tiger” on the front of it – The Superficial

Halle Berry dragged Gabriel Aubry to court again over money, because I guess she really missed yelling at him and leaking stories about him to TMZ – Celebitchy

Oscar Isaac is on the cover of Entertainment Weekly looking like a Blue Man/Transformers hybrid and yes, I still would – Drunken Stepfather

Nicolle Wallace tries to prove she knows pop culture by reading a bunch of Kartrashian shit off of a teleprompter. You showed us, Nicolle! – Jezebel

Peter Berg is your auntie who posted that “amputee solider vs. Caitlyn Jenner” on Facebook over and over again last night – Towleroad

Fergie Ferg works “the 90s East L.A. hooker going to a funeral” look – Popoholic

Explanation: I have none for the fuckery on Kat Graham’s body – Hollywood Tuna

Vs are great, because it’s the perfect place to rest your hands for a second while you sit on the dude’s face – The Berry 

Just when you thought that Balmain has shoved themselves as far as possible up the Kardashians’ ass, they show you that they can shove themselves even further – Just Jared

Mischa Barton still exists! – Popsugar

Poke at me when the hairy ass of that tattooed wrestler makes its way on the Big Brother feeds – OMG Blog

I didn’t know that Paula Deen was the casting director on The Dark Knight RisesPajiba

And somewhere Emmy-nominated Mo’Nique is cackling into the air – SOW

Miley Cyrus and her piece do mouth-to-mouth with a Churro. That poor, delicious Churro – WWTDD

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

July 15, 2015 / Posted by:

Pass me a Huggable Hanger so that I can throw it at the screen, because a trailer for the Joy Mangano biopic, directed by David O. Russell And starring Jennifer Lawrence, is out. I thought this was going to be a comprehensive saga about the making of the Huggable Hanger and Miracle Mop and instead it’s just Jennifer Lawrence looking like a baby Renee Zellweger. I’m not even sure if she does Joy’s accent. Take a Miracle Mop to this shit and do it again! With that being said, it will win approximately 95 Oscars – Lainey Gossip 

That fuchsia really brings out all the plastic in Jenny McCarthy’s face – Celebitchy

The Real Drunk Wrecks Of New York City may be “HOLLA” free next season – Reality Tea 

Pamela Anderson looks a mess! – Drunken Stepfather

President Obama says he won’t snatch away Bill Cosby’s Medal of Honor because they don’t have a mechanism for that. Um, can’t he just create one by snapping his fingers? What’s the point of being president if you can’t make up mechanisms? – Jezebel

And Pimp Mama Kris will wear Kendall Jenner’s elegant top to church on Sunday – The Nip Slip 

I see that Star Magazine bought Paul LeBlanc’s Friends fanfiction titled “The One Where Jennifer Aniston Passed Her Married Puss To Matt LeBlanc”The Superficial 

Here’s the trailer for Sisters starring Tina Fey as Amy Poehler’s Baby Mama character and Amy Poehler as Tina Fey’s Baba Mama character – Towleroad

Dad got into his kid’s Ecstasy stash again… – Hollywood Tuna 

Disney didn’t hear you when you screamed, “Stop with the live-action fuckery!” – Just Jared

I miss Katie Holmes’ pegged jeans – Popoholic


Stunt Empress Beyonce is at it again – Popsugar

Michael Douglas’eating cooze gave me cancer” comment made me picture him munching twat and now his “I have a big dick” comment is making me check Google for pictures of his peen. Please don’t let him talk about how plump his b-hole is next, because my brain can’t take it – SOW

Nicolle Wallace has been kicked from her regular chair on The View – TVLine 

Well, this is ten million tons of sad: Nick Cave’s teenage son died after falling off of a cliff – HuffPo


Night Crumbs

July 14, 2015 / Posted by:

Jesse Eisenberg compared being at Comic-Con to genocide. Congratulations, Jesse Eisenberg! You have just completed enough credits for your diploma from Kristen Stewart’s School Of Comparing Stupid Shit To Rape And Mass Murder – HuffPo

The Wednesday Addams of pop and the Marilyn Munster of pop are still friends forever. You didn’t think Lorde was going to get away that easy, did you?  – Lainey Gossip

Margot Robbie kept that rat Jared Leto gave her because it’s what her character would’ve done. Jared Leto’ methodness is rubbing off on her, I see – Celebitchy

Never mind that Lady CaCa is wearing an outfit that Stephanie “Excuse My Beauty” Yellowhair would wear a million times better, her bodyguard is giving me the full body puckers – Drunken Stepfather

Heather Thomas channels NeNe Leakes by telling Countess LuMann to close her legs to married men – Reality Tea 

Jimmy Fallon presents a good reason to never get married: Your wedding ring can rip off your good finger banging finger – Jezebel

Zoe Kravitz’s right ass cheek is shy while the left one wants to show off for the paps – Hollywood Tuna 

Tom Cruise isn’t holding onto that plane. That plane is holding onto Tom Cruise. Scientology really IS magic! – IDLYITW

I wish the Fantastic Four trailer had more ass and balls in it – The Superficial 

I kept waiting for David Sedaris’ partner to start singing “on the gooooOOOooood ship lollypop” at the top of his lungs and I was really disappointed when he didn’t – Towleroad

Hilary Duff wears the fashion interpretation of a strawberry and banana milkshake during her daily pap walk to her car – Popoholic

Michael Assbender and a bald James McAvoy pay homage to their X-Men romance on ConanPajiba

Chris Pratt’s Jurassic World LEGO Man is the new Flat Stanley – The Berry 

Rachel McAdams doesn’t confirm or deny that she regularly gets herself a piece of Taylor KitschPopsugar

The Rock jacked up his finger on the set of his movie and now it looks like Ray-J’s boomerang dick – SOW

In these totally natural pictures of Goopy Paltrow and her piece, she looks like she wants to yawn but is trying to remember what the steps are  – Just Jared

Pic: Splash


Night Crumbs

July 13, 2015 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt and Dame St. Angie Jolie took two members of the child army to buy toys, because they don’t have enough of those. Pax and Shiloh are either annoyed by the paps or they’re embarrassed about their dad wearing that damn hat again out in public – Lainey Gossip

George Clooney is selling EVERYTHING – Celebitchy

Another Housewives brand of booze is just what this world needs” said absolutely nobody except for the Housewife hawking that shit – Reality Tea

The Dollar Tree clearance bin Phoebe Price tries to outdo the ginger goddess by flashing her nipples at Comic-Con. Nice try, Maitland Ward – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Ruby Rose says that not only did she know what gender reassignment surgery was when she was 5, but she wanted to get it  – Jezebel

Technically, Phoebe Price’s Comic-Con photo shoot won Comic-Con, but I guess Batman V Superman was a far, far, far, faaaar second – The Superficial 

I see that Jennifer Lawrence only shops at the finest boutiques like the hooker stores on Hollywood Blvd. – Hollywood Tuna

That big-chichi’d blonde model who isn’t Kate Upton was in GQIDLYITW

Just what this Monday needs: a friendship story about a kitten and a Husky – The Berry 

Rob Lowe and I did the same thing on Saturday night. We both lip-synched to Julie Andrews while completely naked except I went with My Fair Lady (Original Broadway Cast) – Towleroad

Naked pics of Pearl from RuPaul’s Drag Race leaked and it looks like he can make a hell of a pearl necklace with that thing – (NSFW) OMG Blog

I need to see Zoe Kravitz’s piece without his top on before I can say if he looks like her dad or not – Popsugar

So I guess the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department wasn’t moved by my petition (with 1 signature on it) titled “SEND ARIANA GRANDE LATTE TO DEATH ROW FOR ATTACKING THOSE DONUTS!”HuffPo

Ben Affleck took off his wedding ring – Just Jared 

Bill Murray loves Miley CyrusWWTDD

Pic: Pacific Coast News


Night Crumbs

July 10, 2015 / Posted by:

Almost one month after getting busted for DUI, John Stamos has taken himself to rehab to dry out. If Uncle Jesse’s rehab place of choice ever gets named, they better brace themselves, because thousands of shameless horny Oikos devotees are going to try to check in – Just Jared

Jake Gyllenhaal and Rachel McAdams were at the Toronto premiere of Southpaw together last night. Jake is giving me Wall Street banker who likes to chop trees and Rachel is giving me weekday lounge singer – Lainey Gossip

Regis Philbin better say goodbye to his liver – Jezebel

I thought this was Fiona Apple and I was so confused – Drunken Stepfather

A woman has accused Subway Jared of saying creepy shit about middle school girls and no, the woman isn’t Ronald McDonald’s wife. I think. – The Superficial

Mick Jagger’s 28-year-old piece may be getting too old for him – Celebitchy

Now how are fake millionaire supposed to get dates with failed actresses? – Reality Tea

I guess the first rule of being kept by David Geffen is to never talk about being kept by David Geffen to authorities – Towleroad

Kendall Jenner is a topless deer caught in the headlights for Calvin Klein panties – IDLYITW

It feels like Megan Fox is permanently on the set of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie – Hollywood Tuna 

Harry Styles looks like he’s getting pulled by an invisible hook – Popsugar

I just “awwwed” out loud while looking at this post about a dog friend’s animal family. Yes, I’m grossed out with myself for doing that – The Berry 

Emma Stone’s dress looks like your auntie’s bathmat. The one with the flowers on it – Popoholic

The Mother of Dragons Lena Headey had another baby – HuffPo

Channing Tatum is all for feminism, but isn’t going to call himself a feminist until he takes a class on it or something – Pajiba

The new Ghostbusters promo pic could use a lot more shirtless Chris Hemsworth in it – SOW


Night Crumbs

July 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Jennifer Lawrence met Bill Murray at Comic-Con today and her reaction was full Jennifer Lawrence. On another note, what in biker memaw from Santa Fe hell is Bill Murray wearing? – Lainey Gossip 

The diaphragm is back! Now a new generation of accident babies can say, “I’m here because the diaphragm didn’t work!”Jezebel

Miley Cyrus is still doing this – Drunken Stepfather

Bill Cosby’s agent has shuffled into the corner with the other companies, people and networks who don’t want to be associated with him – The Superficial 

However, Whoopi Goldberg still isn’t going to that corner and she probably never will- Celebitchy

Sheree Whitfield may make her long-awaited grand return to Real Housemesses of Atlanta. It’s a financially smart move for Bravo, because they can just pay in her Home Depot gift cards, which she can use to finally finish Chateau Sheree – Reality Tea 

Jessica Alba got photobombed by a happy drunk – Popoholic

I already posted about the Chanel couture show, but I missed Rita Ora’s nipple making a cameo appearance. I know, how did I ever miss that? – The Nip Slip 

The first footage of the Caitlyn Jenner car accident that led to the death of a woman has turned up – Towleroad

Conan O’Brien promoted Comic-Con by slipping into a onesie to do a Mad Max guitar guy parody and yes, I looked for a peen print – Hollywood Tuna 

Miley Cyrus wishes she had this much charisma and star power – The Berry 

Ruby Rose is working the same hair I worked in the 5th grade after getting a blow out for picture day. Of course she worked it thirty million times better – IDLYITW

Well, the good news is that at least Debra Messing didn’t get mercury poisoning from Jeremy Piven sticking his tongue down her throat so many times – OMG Blog

Susan Sarandon is either anti-donut or her tweet is coated in a thick glaze of sarcasm – HuffPo

This is what all the female Ghostbusters look like in their Ghostbusters jumpsuit – Just Jared 

Kendall Jenner better run while she still has the chance, because this is what Khlozilla does before swallowing her meals whole – SOW

Josh Hartnett is a cow lick away from going full Alfalfa with that hair – Popsugar

Pic: Getty


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