Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

August 26, 2016 / Posted by:

RiRi is getting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the MTV VMAs on Sunday, and so she’s performing, of course. The show’s executive producer says that RiRi’s performance will be one of those “holy crap” moments in VMAs history. Since they’re all trying to out-edgy each other at the VMAs, I’m going to assume that RiRi is literally going to crap on a crucifix during her performance.  – Lainey Gossip 

Jessica Alba hit the stroll in a vintage Wilson’s Leather dress circa 1990 – Egotastic!

Courtney Stodden is like the living embodiment of every TLC show at this point – The Superficial 

Every one of Pimp Mama Kris’ kin says the opposite of the truth, so when Kylie Jenner said that she didn’t get a tit job, she really meant that she got a tit job – Celebitchy

A Victoria’s Secret model went topless on a yacht, and Leonardo DiCatchAHo was nowhere to be seen. Weird, I know – Drunken Stepfather

Pedro Almodovar should’ve directed Brokeback MountainTowleroad

The dude behind Taylor Swift just killed someone, or is about to, or both – WWTDD

Clearly, one of the paps farted in front of Vanessa HudgensPopoholic

Teen Mom Jenelle tried to explain the timeline of the making of her latest baby – Starcasm

Richard Branson almost died – Just Jared

Today’s lot lizard chic moment is provided by Pixie LottHollywood Tuna

Wheelchair Jimmy is really coochmatized – Popsugar

My teen self who listened to Loveline religiously in the 90s is weeping over what a mess Dr. Drew is now – Jezebel

I know that today is technically National Dog Day and World Elephant Day is a long time away, but who cares, just celebrate early with these GIFs – Pajiba

Weekend programming note: J. Harvey is out on Sunday (he has to go to church, obviously), so Allison and I will be covering for him.

Pic: Splash


Night Crumbs

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

You may have heard the completely real story about how Mimi’s fiancé tried to get her into the mood for fuck times by playing Beyonce’s Crazy In Love on his laptop and she got so mad that threw it out the window. That story would have been totally believable if the source said that Mimi summoned one of her minions by ringing a crystal bell and then ordered them to throw the laptop out of the window. I mean, Mimi doesn’t do hard labor, dahling! – Lainey Gossip 

Kim Richards isn’t going to jail – Reality Tea 

Elon Musk has been trying to spray his musk on Amber Heard for a long time – The Superficial 

Joshua Jackson and Ruth Wilson had a drink date that lasted 8 hours. Lightweights. They must have had to work the next day – Celebitchy

I got toxic chemical poisoning just from looking at these pictures – Drunken Stepfather

The trailer for the Gay Bachelor is out and it looks stupid, ridiculous and a waste of time. I can’t wait to watch every second of it – Towleroad

Jessica Alba tried to serve 80s Barbie hotness and she gives an A for effort! – Egotastic!

LeAnn Rimes’ luck dragon nip almost slipped out last night – WWTDD

Speaking of nips, Olivia Culpo’s look so virginal in all that white – The Nip Slip 

Jabba the Trump has every right to mouth shit out this dingle of dumb, because really, there’s no hotter celebrity than Scott BaioIDLYITW

Charlie Sheen is bored – SOW

What in biker dominatrix HELL is Bella Hadid wearing? – Popoholic

Oh please, like fish live in the sewer. The alligators ate them all – Hollywood Tuna

Sarah Paulson will probably be in Ocean’s 8 Just Jared

Teen Mom Jenelle is going to be a mom for the third time. Congratulations to CPS for the extra work load! – Starcasm




Night Crumbs

August 24, 2016 / Posted by:

Sarah Paulson went to an event wearing an ensemble that looks like the broken condom baby of a June bug and Dorthy Michaels from Tootsie, and I love it! – Lainey Gossip

Yolanda Hadid says she’s close to declaring victory in her battle against Lyme – Reality Tea 

Professional vacationer Lindsay Lohan is still on vacation – Drunken Stepfather

First of all, Kate Upton looks too human-like to look like a Kartrashian. Second of all, she better carry around several cans of pepper spray, because Khlozilla is going try to maul her if they ever meet in the streets – Celebitchy

Bella Thorne might be bumping coochies with her brother’s ex-girlfriend whose also named Bella. I’ve seen this Jerry Springer episode before…. – The Superficial 

A thing I did today: Spend way too long staring at Kristen Stewart’s butt because the headline made me – Popoholic

The Gay Bachelor says that he can’t stand fakeness. Well, then he’s gone to the right place, because we all know that reality shows are anything but fake! – Towleroad

Usain Bolt plucked another blossom from the garden of elegance – Hollywood Tuna

Speaking of blossoms from the garden of elegance, here’s two whose petals are also covered with demureness and gentility – The Nip Slip 

Connie Britton is probably phasing herself out of Nashville. Take Scarlett with you, Rayna! I beseech you! – Jezebel

This video for The View’s new theme song is some fuckery, but it’s not “Mary J. Blige’s Burger King commercial” levels of fuckery – OMG Blog

Renee Zellweger is talking about aging in Hollywood again – Just Jared

Kate Gosselin still exists and she’s still talking about her kids’ private lives for quick cash – HuffPo

Since Ryan Lochte is losing around $1 million in endorsements, he may be hungry for a check and where do sort-of famous tricks go when they need a check and some more attention? Dancing with the Stars, of course! – Popsugar

I still would – SOW

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Bella Thorne came out as bisexual on Twitter after a fan saw her kissing another chick on Snapchat and asked her if she’s into peen and poon. I saw Bella kissing a girl on Snatchchat yesterday, because I have an account and I also follow her on there. So yeah, since I’m obviously your 13-year-old daughter named MyKaylee, I’m going to need you to give me some money, because my friends and I are going shopping at Forever 21 after school tomorrow – Just Jared

Amal Clooney looks like she’s trying to keep from exploding with joy while riding on the back of George Clooney’s Harley – Lainey Gossip 

Usain Bolt celebrated his birthday by getting on a piece who wasn’t his girlfriend – Celebitchy

Lindsey Vonn captioned this pic, “I love Mondays…especially when you get to the gym and your trainer starts laughing at you because your dog ate your pants…literally.” Uh huh, like she didn’t put those holes in her leggings herself just so she’d have an excuse to show her nalgas. Blaming it on the dog. Shameless! – Drunken Stepfather


Amber Rose may go from the champagne room to the ballroom – Reality Tea 

ScarJo must have had one major cold sore – Popoholic

The Frank Ocean album that his fans have been waiting 5,894 years for will debut at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 chart – Towleroad

It’s not really a Ryan Murphy anthology series unless Sarah Paulson is in it, so she’s playing Geraldine Page in FeudPajiba

Another day, another story about Tyga owing somebody money – Jezebel

Cool story time, I once hooked up with a dude who had a duvet cover with the same print as Jessica Alba’s dress. And after looking at that print, you’ll probably wonder if the dude I hooked up with was a 72-year-old grandma from Georgia – Hollywood Tuna

Tampa took one of Amy Schumer’s jokes seriously – WWTDD

Hillary Clinton was the carne in a Biel and Timberlake sandwich – HuffPo

Sleigh Bells is suing Demi Lovato for sampling their song without asking them – OMG Blog 

Exes Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield hung out together and that’s great and everything, but for why is he wearing your granddaddy’s favorite sweater? – Popsugar

KFC made the perfect sunscreen for those of you who have always wanted to be attacked by stray dogs on the beach – SOW

Pic: Bella Thorne’s Snatchchat


Night Crumbs

August 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Leonardo DiCatchAHo is out and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are in as the hosts of a Hillary Clinton fundraiser in L.A. Nobody is probably more sad about this news than Bill Clinton, because he’s been looking forward to hanging out with The Pussy Posse and a bunch of models in the hot tub of a stretch Hummer limousine headed to the after-party – Lainey Gossip

I watched Tom Daley compete at the Olympics on Saturday, and I both shook my head and laughed when he messed-up his final dive and the commentator immediately said, “His dreams are shattered.” – Celebitchy

Something for you to file away in the folder marked Highly Important: Phil Collins’ daughter has a nipple ring – Drunken Stepfather

I see that Joyce Giraud, formerly of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, learned witchcraft and managed to put a hex on Carlton GebbiaReality Tea

Kim Kartrashian’s dekoy may have tricked the paps if she glued two beach balls full of soil jelly to her butt- The Superficial 

The S is soft! It’s supposed to be smooth like buttah!” – Barbra Streisand screaming at Siri for not saying her last name right – Towleroad

Justin Bieber’s latest piece-of-the-second is named Bronte Blampied. I don’t know if that sounds like the name of a really complicated sex act or like the name of a rejected Hunger Games character – WWTDD

Bette Midler is sorry for that tweet about Caitlyn JennerJezebel

The paps still take pictures of Ali LohanEgotastic!

Professor Ty Ty Baby is teaching a course at Stanford and sadly it’s not on smizing and booty toochin’ – HuffPo

And on today’s episode of Tales From The Thirsty Side… – Popoholic

Speaking of thirsty, here’s a topless and wet Idris ElbaSOW

Harry Potter has racist friends – OMG Blog

Looking like two baby plastic hippos trying to drown each other – IDLYITW

After that link above, you may need a palate cleanser, so here’s the natural beauty of Chloe KhanHollywood Tuna

That Napster douche would offer highly respectable thespian Sir Ian McKellen $1.5 million to dress up as Gandalf to officiate his wedding – Just Jared



Night Crumbs

August 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Orlando Bloom went off to Japan and while he’s there, I hope a good Samaritan who cares about the internet’s unquenchable thirst for peen hands him a paddle board and points him toward the nearest naked beach  – Lainey Gossip 

Nobody understands Jaden Smith and Jaden Smith knew that a quick minute after coming out of the womb – Celebitchy

One of Justin Bieber’s ex-pieces got her Instagram hacked and her hacker posted an old fake nude of the Canadian Ryan Lochte – The Superficial 

What in trampy sad clown going to a funeral HELL is Olivia Palermo wearing? – Drunken Stepfather

A few WWE wrestlers got suspended for injecting, snorting or guzzling some shit they shouldn’t have – WWTDD

And yet another trick has stolen Melon Cat’s signature look – Reality Tea

The teaser trailer for American Horror Story: Sorority House has to be the most terrifying teaser trailer in the show’s history! Hold me… – Towleroad

Here’s a Venti something-or-another motorboating Hilary DuffPopoholic

This Pac-Man clip starring the Balloon Popping Dog needs to be made into a full movie – Hollywood Tuna 

Julianne Hough and Nina Dobrev got their Instagram THOT on – IDLYITW

I wonder what kind of gifts the cast of Blade Runner 2 are going to get from Jared Leto? – Just Jared

Happy Friday, here’s a buffet of Jason Momoa nipples – Popsugar

Pic: FameFlynet


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