Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

October 21, 2014 / Posted by:

A knocked up Duchess Kate made an appearance at the Wildlife Photographer of The Year 2014 Awards in London tonight. It’s her second public appearance of the day and she just got done having the extreme barfs. DK better slow down with these double shifts before she overdoes it and sprains her hand waving and smiling muscles  Lainey Gossip

If Moe Howard dragged it up to play the title role in a stage production of Mildred Pierce on the planet Vulcan – Celebitchy

Rita Ora’s dress looks like a dingle that fell out of the b-hole of The Beatles’ cover for the Yellow SubmarineDrunken Stepfather

I’d shit myself to death out of shock if Pimp Mama Kris didn’t have her minions Photoshop her Instagram pics – Reality Tea

Hannibal Buress unswept all those Bill Cosby rape allegations from out under the rug – The Superficial

The Empress of Lucite makes her triumphant return to television in Botched and she was kind of enough to help out the producers by pretending to be flawed – Jezebel

Sofia Vergara always looks like the same (TITS and HAIR) so I appreciate her trying something new by giving herself Thundercat eyes - Hollywood Tuna

Will an NFL team please pick Michael Sam up for good so I can get more footage of him and his hot boyfriend celebrating by eating cake off of each other’s faces? – Towleroad

Sorry Linus, the Great Pumpkin isn’t showing up today, but it looks like the Great Fame Whore made an appearance instead – WWTDD

Wait, so Ariana Grande Latte isn’t a Satanist? – IDLYITW

Monica Lewinsky is BACK (again) and sadly she’s not back to host a second season of Mr. PersonalityICYDK

I hope Madame Tussauds has hired a full-time crew to chisel off the dried Cumberbitch cum from that Benedict Cumberbatch statue – Popsugar

Still pregnant: Rachel Bilson is – Popoholic

Daniele Watts, the actress from Django Unchained whose “racist cops” story kind of fell apart after it turned out she was boning her man in a car, has been charged with lewd conduct – HuffPo

It’s nice to know that Tindr is as messy as all the other dating apps out there – The Berry

Derek Hough, is that you girl? – SOW

The Texas T-Rex burped up his thoughts about the Redskins name change and I know you’ve been waiting for his thoughts about that – Gawker


Night Crumbs

October 20, 2014 / Posted by:

Shonda Rhimes Bye Felicia’d a trick who complained about all the hot dude on dude action in How To Get Away With Murder. That’s actually offensive to Felicia, because I bet that pesky crackhead would fully appreciate all the hot dude on dude action in that show – Towleroad

Jude Law should skip on down to the Scientology Centre and give John Travolta his wig master’s card – Lainey Gossip

Panty Creamer of the Day: Rob Lowe bares his 50-year-old nips on Instagram – Celebitchy

What in Raquel Welch discount special HELL is on Sarah Hyland’s head? - Drunken Stepfather

Sonja Morgan will be asking Countess LuMann for a loan in 3…2.. - Reality Tea

The Stephen Collins case ended as you expected it to end – The Superficial

Whenever I’m about to bitch and moan about something, I’m going to stop and tell myself that somewhere a cotton ball-sized pom pom has it worse than me, because he’s forced to be seen with Wonky McValtrex looking like Moschino wet queefed all over her – Hollywood Tuna

Fergie Ferg is back and is shooting a new video while looking like a post-apocalyptic lot lizard, so really, nothing’s changed – Egotastic!

Even though Nick Minaj is always shoving her Fix-A-Flat ass in your face, don’t ask her about her ass – Jezebel

Selena Gomez, stop playing and give Beetlejuice his robe back – Popoholic

If Nicole Richie is going for the “65-year-old Boca Raton socialite who bathes in bronzer and considers Botox a protein” look, then she nailed it – WWTDD

Jena Malone might be female Robin in Batman vs. Superman, because the cast of 20,000 isn’t big enough – Pajiba

Pill poppers can breathe a sigh of relief because LeAnn Rimes says she isn’t one of you – ICYDK

Poke at me when Tori Spelling is permanently quarantined from humanity – IDLYITW

The first full trailer for the second season of The Comeback has Mickey in it and that’s all I could ever want from life – OMG Blog

John Travolta and Khloe Kardashian greeting each other with a hug at The Ivy…and other pictures of huggy animals – The Berry

Dear Ryan Kwanten, I have a seat that needs moving too and I don’t really know what that means exactly but just go with it – Popsugar

If you’re always complaining about how you can’t grow a muscle, blame Joe ManJello, because his body took them all – Just Jared


Night Crumbs

October 17, 2014 / Posted by:

Evan Rachel Wood says that she “felt like meat” during this 2003 Vanity Fair cover shoot. So why did she feel like meat? They made her wear a dress and heels. Seriously. How did she ever get through that traumatizing ordeal? The phrase “the struggle is real” is overused, but it needs to be used here, because Evan Rachel Wood’s struggle IS real. Oh, and hi, Lindsay Lohan’s original face – Jezebel

Brad Pitt is still promoting Fury and his hair is still giving me Eddie Munster after a blowout – Lainey Gossip

This is supposed to be a SANS FARDS Kerry Washington on the cover of Allure, but I’m pretty sure she’s got some FARDS on her face – Drunken Stepfather

John Grisham’s publicist finally stuck their arm up his ass and made his mouth move while they said, “I, John Grisham, am sorry for saying what I said about child porn” – The Superficial

Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger aren’t getting married, because they think marriage is only for the religious kind and that’s something they’re not – Celebitchy

Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson’s STUNT QUEEN stunt worked – Reality Tea

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s SuperHotSlut! – Hollywood Tuna

This is the second time that Kelly Brook has worn that top on the ho stroll and it concerns me that I know this – WWTDD

Charice has the soul of a man but she’s not going to fully transition anytime soon or ever – Towleroad

I really want to know what I’ll hear if I put my ear up to that picture, but I’m afraid it’ll bite my lobe off – Egotastic!

Halle Berry looks a little different in the eyes – Popoholic

Speaking of eyes, Bono’s got the glaucoma which is why he’s always wearing sunglasses – ICYDK

The fabulous pose machine who gave us Summerlin Is Burning glamour comes out against anti-bullying – Boy Culture

I’m not even going to pretend like I know what Blake NotSoLively is wearing – Popsugar

This is what $95 million gets you in NYC (and no, that link will not lead you to a picture of a naked Anderson Cooper sprawled out on a unicorn while a gold Cronut hangs from his peen) – The Berry

Detective Juliette Lewis thinks Misty Upham was murdered – HuffPo

FINISH HER, Floyd! – Just Jared


Night Crumbs

October 16, 2014 / Posted by:

Panty Creamer Of The Day: Prince Hot Ginge wearing the hell out of a tuxedo while making a face that clearly says, “Heh, my willy just rubbed up against my boxers and I liked it” - Lainey Gossip 

Cindy Crawford giving you butch mannequin – Drunken Stepfather

Chris Noth jokingly calls Carrie Bradshaw a whore and where’s the Cristal ConnorsWe’re all whores, darlin’” GIF when I really need it? – Celebitchy

Sonja Morgan of The Real Drunkwives of New York pulled a first degree Shia LaDouche at Molly Ringwald’s cabaret show – Reality Tea

I will say that Khloe Kartrashian’s rumored half-sister does have a “Ugh, I just found out I’m related to one of Pimp Mama Kris’ spawn” look on her face – WWTDD

How To Get The FBI To Hold A Magnifying Glass Up To Your Laptop In One Easy Step by John GrishamThe Superficial

The moment an Ariana Grande Latte fan was hit with the self-realization that they’re an Ariana Grande Latte - Egotastic!

Why do I feel like there’s been at least 10,000 trailers for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1? – Towleroad

Burt Reynolds’ kiss turned Doogie Howser gay. I knew it! – Jezebel

They’re making commercials for Fleshlights now – SOW

Add a velvet bolero to Selena Gomez’s outfit and you’d have one of my tia’s funeral outfits – Hollywood Tuna

Emma Stone looks really excited to be Sally Bowles on Broadway – Popoholic

Meanwhile, the Robsten fan girl tears will flood the Earth any minute now – Popsugar

So that’s why Kelly Brook keeps going back to David McIntosh – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Joan Rivers died of hypoxic arrest – ICYDK

Oh it’s okay, I didn’t need to sleep tonight – The Berry

Presenting the new #1 example for delusion – Just Jared

And on a sad note: Rest in peace, Misty UphamHuffPo


Night Crumbs

October 15, 2014 / Posted by:

I know the CDC is busy with Ebola right now, but this is some news they need to pay attention to: Robin Thicke is now a member of Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s Pussy Posse – Lainey Gossip

This picture of the Trollsens looks like a book cover for a version of The Shining that’s sold exclusively at Hot Topic – Drunken Stepfather

So I guess nobody’s rescued Wonky McValtrex’s cotton-ball sized pom pom yet? – Egotastic!

Aw, watching little Juicy Joe shove that camera is like watching Magilla Gorilla trying to lay a smack down on King Kong – Reality Tea

Calm, ageless vampire Keanu Reeves wants to play the role that every goddamn actor in Hollywood except Rip Taylor is rumored to play – Celebitchy

And that includes Ewan McGregor too – The Superficial

Family Feud: The game show that causes divorces but raises sales in peen pumps – Pajiba

That turnip in Michelle Obama’s hand just hammered in the last nail in Turn Down For What’s coffin – Towleroad

In case you were wondering, Justin Bieber is still an ingrown hair in L.A. ‘s right ass lip – IDLYITW

Carmen Electra is giving me Club MTV background dancer vibes – Hollywood Tuna

Jennifer Lawrence so wants to fuck that guy – SOW

The Photoshop Awards: Cameron Diaz in Marie ClairePopoholic

Hahaha imagine how all those Robsten crazies are going to seethe after seeing these pics”Robert Pattinson in that picture – Popsugar

If Daryl Hannah’s character in Splash grew up at the bottom of a Port-A-Potty at a rave instead of in the ocean – WWTDD

Amy Poehler loved coke for a minute – ICYDK

In news that made me go “WHAT?!” and “YES!” at the same time, Ezra Miller is going to be The Flash – OMG Blog

This dog is going to murder humans one day and none of us can say shit about it – The Berry

Ashley Parker Angel grabs his dick for charity, looks constipated while doing so – Just Jared

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

October 14, 2014 / Posted by:

Shia LaBeef (seen above smothering his crotch mouse while stealing Mickey Rourke’s signature look) told Jimmy Kimmel about the night he got arrested at Cabaret and since he’s a noted bullshitter, he totally made up his side of the story, but I give him a gold star for adding that part about how he man hugged Alan Cumming’s ass with his hand – Lainey Gossip

Great, now we’re all going to get Ebola and all because Dr. Nancy Smuggyman couldn’t stay her ass at home – Celebitchy

Kenya Moore isn’t going to donate $20,000 to the Detroit Public Schools Foundation at this time because bitch needs a $20,000 donation herself – Reality Tea

Shay Mitchell stole Phoebe Price’s go-to Slut-O-Ween pose – Drunken Stepfather

Justin Timberlake posted a picture of Jessica Biel on his Instagram for the first time and that dark, foreboding cloud tells me that either this is how they’re announcing their divorce or those hos are so boring that they just like to sit and watch clouds move – IDLYITW

Make room in Robert Downey Jr.’s gold vault, because another delivery from Marvel is coming through – The Superficial

Miley Cyrus went topless on a hotel balcony in Australia and stay tuned for tomorrow’s series titled Miley Cyrus Went Topless on a Hotel Balcony in New Zealand and Thursday’s series titled Miley Cyrus Went Topless on a Hotel Balcony in… – Egotastic!

Carol Burnett still has it and I’m shaking my head at Andy Cohen’s fame whore dog for snatching her moment away – Towleroad

Slow Pap Day: The paparazzi took pictures of Fifth Harmony in bikinis – WWTDD

Gisele Buttchin serves up prance and cheese at a Chanel party – Hollywood Tuna

Here’s Ryan Phillipe’s bare ass, but what in the hell is going on in that scene? – OMG Blog

MiserAlba goes to that Fame Whore Pumpkin Patch and has a look on her face that clearly says, “But, but, but where is The Great Ginger Phoebe Price?” – Popoholic

Laura Jeanne Poon on her disorderly conduct arrest: “Yup, America found out that its sweetheart is a crazy bitch!” – ICYDK

In case this hasn’t been splattered over all of your walls, here’s the reenactment of the Bath & Body Works rant. For the record, I am firmly on Team Jen from Appleton – Popsugar

Bendelion Cumberbund is the anti-homophobe hero we all need AND deserve – Pajiba

Jon Cryer brings Duckie back and I guarantee you some L.A. hipster is wearing that exact outfit right now – SOW

This dude is a one-man RuPaul’s Drag Race Snatch GameThe Berry

Who cares about the guyliner, what in the Hell kind of GD outfit is the smooth rat wearing? – Just Jared


Night Crumbs

October 10, 2014 / Posted by:

After headlining the Venice Comic-Con known as his ridiculous, dramatic ass wedding, George Clooney made an appearance at New York Comic-Con. Even Hugh Laurie isn’t here for his cheese – Lainey Gossip

If the Red Flash moved his head a little to the right and fell forward, that picture would have all the makings of a great gay porn – The Superficial

But why is Sarah Jessica Parker dressed like a Victorian era toddler going to a christening? – Drunken Stepfather

UPDATE: During that good-old fashioned Palin family drunken brawl, Sarah Palin sat in the limo the whole time because she didn’t want to damage the Bump-It in her hair – Celebitchy

Basic cable monster Abby Lee Miller got sued for being a monster – Reality Tea

Kim Jong Un is an amazing athlete. In other news, why the hell am I writing about Kim Jong Un? – WWTDD

Speaking of dicks, I just spent the last 10 minutes looking for James Franco’s in this picture – Towleroad

There’s something Tori Spelling-esque about Bethenny Frankelstein’s chichis area – Egotastic!

JLo really wants you to see her 45-year-old abs – Hollywood Tuna

But really, they should do this every time a plane that Wonky McValtrex is on lands – Popsugar

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Okay, I’m okay with a Labyrinth 2 as long as the lead character is David Bowie’s bulge – Jezebel

Happy Why Work Out When I Can Fap To These Pictures Instead Friday! - The Berry

Another day, another set of pictures of Taylor Swift looking like a Bye Bye Birdie chorus member – Popoholic

Nicole Kidman wants a fetus in her uterus – ICYDK

If producers want a ginger Bond girl why the hell didn’t they cast international supermodel and renowned feature film actress Phoebe Price? – Pajiba

Joe Dirt 2 is happening for some reason – SOW

Bridget Jones 3 without Hugh Grant is happening for some reason – HuffPo


Night Crumbs

October 9, 2014 / Posted by:

Throw your Tindr app in the trash where it belongs! Press the x on your Grindr app! Tell your OkCupid account to fuck off! Because the frosted psychic opal of Puerto Rico and Bruce Jenner’s style icon, Walter Mercado, has a dating site and it’s the only dating site you need. But I don’t know how you’re going to find a soulmate on his site, because your mind will be too busy twirling through the stars as you stare at his beautiful face in the banner – Latin Times

Marky Mark joined the Starving Our Way To An Oscar Club by losing 60 pounds for a role. I was going to say that he kind of looks the same to me so he must’ve lost most of the weight in his brain, but what brain? – Lainey Gossip

Kate Upton seems so calm and happy for someone who was just attacked by a swarm of moths – Egotastic!

In case you didn’t already know that Prince Pierced Peen and Princess Charlene have the chemistry of water and a lit match – Celebitchy

Bai Ling serves up some Craigslist hooker pictures glamour – Drunken Stepfather

Lesson of the Day: Ewoks are like rubber bands. They snap right back after birthing out a baby – Reality Tea

Why does Matt Damon look like he’s really excited to get home and have some alone time with that Zorro donkey piñata? – Popsugar

Will somebody please let Adrienne Barbeau know that she should sue Lady CaCa for stealing her hairstyle from Creepshow? – WWTDD

Kylie Jenner looks like a Bratz doll chola – The Superficial

A hot piece from TOWIE came out about his love for peen – Towleroad

Eva Longoria’s dress looks like the deformed baby of a coverlet from the 1950s and Madge’s Vogue bustier – Hollywood Tuna

That’s not red eyeshadow on Ariana Grande Latte, right? That’s probably the blood of her victims. – Popoholic

A basic bitch’s guide to Halloween – The Berry

And here we are again: Amanda Bynes threatens to sue In Touch WeeklyICYDK

This is what Joshua Jackson’s ass crack looks like. I know you’ve been wondering – OMG Blog

What Robert Downey Jr. is trying to say is that he’ll commit to Iron Man 4 as soon as Marvel offers him the entire United States Treasury building to do it – SOW

Adele’s not coming out with an album this year, so you’ll have to find other songs to sob to while eating an uncooked cookie log – HuffPo

Gabriel Aubry will ask for a bump in child support in 3..2.. – Just Jared


Night Crumbs

October 8, 2014 / Posted by:

The impact of lace front beard from ANTM: John Travolta’s wearing a stick-on face merkin and a Snape wig for his new movie. He looks like he belongs on the front of a package for a Steven Seagal costume sold at Rite Aid. But I bet he loves being able to pull off that beard and put it away when it gets too itchy. Oh how he wishes he could put his other beard in a drawer when she starts nagging him about how he spends too much time at the Scientology bath house   – Lainey Gossip

Selena Gomez’s outfit looks like my sister’s prom dress circa 1993 after it was turned into an ice skating costume – Egotastic!

When Taylor Swift’s cats break up with her, the album she writes afterward is going to be like Adele’s 21 for crazy cat ladies – Celebitchy

I don’t know what this says about me but I want to eat the tamale on Rita Ora’s head – Drunken Stepfather

Sonja Morgan is all for Bethenny Franklestein joining The Real Housewives of New York and I’m guessing it’s because if that happens she won’t be the most delusional crazy bitch in the cast anymore – Reality Tea

Once Ariana Grande Latte finds out that her fan captured the right side of her face in a picture, her fan and her fan’s family will be in danger, girl. They should enter the Grande Latte Protection Program now – WWTDD

Halloween is still a little while away so Hilary Duff has time to make her Thriller costume more accurate – The Superficial

And here’s 2014′s answer to “We Are The World” – Towleroad

Here, buy and wear this $45,000 jacket made of Khloe’s waxed off back hair and your evil powers will grow tenfold!” – Pimp Mama Kris to Ariana Grande LatteHollywood Tuna

Rachel Bilson is STILL pregnant and she’s STILL wearing my abuelita’s house dresses from Tijuana – Popoholic

A sentence that might’ve made your nipples hard in 2004 – Nick Carter is in a thong – OMG Blog

Panty Creamer of the Day: A topless Idris Elba making his muscles grow – Popsugar

An all-female Ghostbusters movie is happening and I nominate Judy Tenuta, Charo and Geri Jewell for the lead roles – HuffPo

Disappointment is seeing zero peens in a post titled Hot Guys Taking Showers – The Berry

I probably wouldn’t be lying if I said that hanging in Pimp Mama Kris’ lair is a calendar garland that is counting down the days when KYJelly Jenner turns 18 and can shoot a sex tape with TygaICYDK

Trolling: This Price is Right contestant is doing it right – Jezebel

A Myst TV series is happening and if it’s anything like the game, it will confuse the hell out of me and I’ll quit after 20 minutes in – Pajiba

Just when Kimora Lee Simmons’ womb thought it was done with this shit, another fetus moves in – Just Jared

Pic: FameFlynet


Night Crumbs

October 7, 2014 / Posted by:

NBC was planning a Say Anything TV show until Cameron Crowe echoed the world’s thoughts by screaming, “NOOOOOOOO.” Thank God NBC cares what Cameron Crowe thinks, because we really don’t need to see Lloyd and Diane’s son blast a cover of “In Your Eyes” by 5SOS from a Jawbone while standing outside of his girlfriend’s townhouse – Lainey Gossip 

Jennifer Garner shows Ben Affleck that he’s not the only one in the family who can show the goods and yes, flashing her Spanx is the mom version of flashing her cooch - Drunken Stepfather

Great, soon Princess Charlene will have TWO babies she needs to carry over the palace walls while she tries to escape – Celebitchy

And there goes Stephen Collins’ career. So much for a Tales of the Gold Monkey sequel – The Superficial

What Melissa Gorga really means is, “HAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA” – Reality Tea

Suddenly, I’m singing to myself, “The Tater in reeeeeeeed is dancing with me...” - Egotastic!

I just love a hot dude who knows how to play with a tiny pussy – Towleroad

Kristen Stewart’s hair is starting to look like a deflated flock of seagulls – Popoholic

Either Emily Ratatouille thinks the parched fish pose is really sexy or she sucked on a really sour lemon months ago and still isn’t over it – Hollywood Tuna

Floyd Mayweather is as humble as ever – WWTDD

Ellen DeGeneres was kind enough to not ruin this couple’s proposal by dancing – Boy Culture

Oh please, Justin Bieber’s pathetic excuse of a stache probably fell off itself due to embarrassment – ICYDK

Finally, an important cause we can all get behind – OMG Blog

This news means nothing if Prince George isn’t coming with them so he can steal the toys of some baby yanks – Jezebel

Please tell me Bradley Cooper is wearing the visor wig from the SkyMall catalog – Popsugar

Ryan Murphy is producing a TV show that will take on the OJ Simpson trial because he hasn’t given us enough WTF – HuffPo

Milo Ventimiglia’s in a weave and I still would – Just Jared


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