Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

July 31, 2014 / Posted by:

Tommy Girl was the belle of the ball at Ladies’ Day at the Goodwood Racecourse (“Did somebody say goodwood?” – John Travolta) in England and he made b-holes pucker, but he should really fire his stylist for not telling him to wear his stiletto lifts. It’s a good thing the lady in blue knows that nobody towers over the Scientology prince and made herself short while in his presence. Crisis averted! – Lainey Gossip 

In other words, Kate Gosselin couldn’t afford her bodyguard/slam piece anymore – Reality Tea

Dear Cameron Diaz, the hell are you doing? You’re supposed to be a proud slut icon. This is unacceptable. – Celebitchy

Hmmm, why is that drone with Martha Stewart’s logo on it carrying a lit bomb while flying over my house?” – Blake NotSoLivelyThe Superficial

Well, the dog looks cute. I know, I set that one up for you – Drunken Stepfather

But when is Jenny McCarthy going to apologize for existing? – Towleroad

The Porn Iguana can jump in the air while holding two 200lb medicine balls on her chest. Where is her gold medal in weight lifting? – WWTDD

Zoe Saldana smiles while her privacy is violated by the photographers taking a picture of her obvious baby bump – Popoholic

Michelle Rodriguez, who is always on a yacht, is on a yacht again – Hollywood Tuna

It’s Peek-A-Pube Thursday! – The Berry 

Oh, it’s just some puppies rolling down a hill – Jezebel

Kristen Stewart and Nicholas Hoult ate sushi in Japan and no, I don’t know which one is which – Popsugar

Here’s Big Brother’s Douche Mode Cowboy’s ass crack – OMG Blog

Sharkando 2′s craziest moments is nothing without Tara Reid’s Oscar-Emmy-Tony-and-People’s Choice-worthy plane scene – HuffPo

Zac Efron needs some social lubricant. Too easy. – ICYDK

With a shaved head, Nick Jonas looks like a big, buff cut peen - Just Jared


Night Crumbs

July 30, 2014 / Posted by:

Here’s Lea Michele and Forever-Peg-Bundy-To-Me shooting a scene for Sons of Anarchy and Peg is getting her lit cigarette ready just in case she needs to shove it in Lea’s mouth if that trick gets the urge to break out into song - Lainey Gossip 

If you zoomed into Cameron Diaz’s nipple, you’d see it cringing, because even it’s embarrassed to be a part of this mess – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Lisa Vanderpump is selling Villa Blanca and hopefully who ever buys it turns it into a Buffalo Wild Wings, because that stretch of Beverly Hills could use some real fine dining – Reality Tea

Chelsea Handler’s “power clique of Hollywood A-listers” is nothing without CHARO! – Celebitchy

I didn’t know The Difficult Brown moved next door to George ZimmermanWWTDD

Selena Gomez wore an outfit from Contempo Casuals that JLo most likely wore in 1996  - The Superficial

DanRad should’ve used a Flowbee – Towleroad

Jessica Barrymore, the half-sister of Drew Barrymore, was found dead in her car – Popsugar

ICYMI: A little girl delivers the raw emotion after finding out that her baby brother is going to grow up one day and as she cries, her parents also cry while thinking about how much cash they’re going to make when they put this video on YouTube - The Berry

Arianda Grande Latte’sselfie” photo shoot for Seventeen Magazine is a mess in every way – Hollywood Tuna

MiserAlba’s doing the “ahs have a sexy migraine” pose on Maxim – Popoholic

The Into The Woods movie doesn’t look completely awful – Pajiba

Ceiling Eyes is single again – ICYDK

Iggy Azalea’s going to be in the 7 millionth Fast & Furious movie – HuffPo

I spent way too much time watching Lana Del Rey eat an orange like it was a dick – Just Jared

Two pussies, 1 box – OMG Blog


Night Crumbs

July 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Hilary Duff’s back with a new song and video that reminds you that 2004 was a year that existed in time and she’s never letting it go – Drunken Stepfather

Chris Martin and Goopy Paltrow went a movie premiere in the Hamptons together, but the real story is that she actually sat on a theater seat that has been sat on by thousands of peasants. Yeah, right. She probably made the theater sandblast all the seats with organic bleach before reupholstering them with beluga whale leather – Lainey Gossip 

Can Leonardo DiCatchAHo please take his piece Toni Garrn to the name changing office to get a new name already, because I don’t like getting my hopes up when I read “Toni Garrn Topless On A Boat” as “Teri Garr Topless On A Boat” - WWTDD

Brandi AnalGlandVille is putting out a new wine she should call Glan Juice, and I guess this means that it’s only a matter of time before you see a bottle of Chateau Falkor on sale at Big Lots – Celebitchy

How many Hobbit movies do we need????? – Towleroad

The Couples Therapy reunion is going to be like walking through a rose garden. So many demure and delicate flowers…. – Reality Tea

What in Gollum in a Missoni playsuit HELL is this? – The Superficial

Chrissy Teigen knows how to dress – Hollywood Tuna

JLo Kardashian is still wearing her wedding ring, which means she’s still married, which means I lost the Dlisted office pool, which means that Allison is now the proud owner of a half-used Chili’s gift card – Popoholic

Let this drunk flower show you the easiest way to get all the diseases at once – Jezebel

Nerdception: Harry Potter disguised himself at Spider-Man to go to Comic-Con – ICYDK

Happy Lipstick Day! – The Berry

Derp happiness is Leonardo DiCaprio joyfully picking his ass during a water gun battle – Popsugar

When the Hulk met the HulkSOW

Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres do the damage control strut – Just Jared


Night Crumbs

July 28, 2014 / Posted by:

Is this NeNe Leakes in Zumanity or the Cowardly Lion in bad drag? That may or may not be a trick question – Reality Tea

Consciously Recoupled: Chris Martin and Goopy Paltrow haven’t - Lainey Gossip

Whether or not Jenny McCarthy told Melissa McCarthy to lose some chunk, the entire world needs to tell Jenny McCarthy to lose all the chunk on her fat mouth and shut the hell up already – Celebitchy

The answer to the question, “What has Adriana from 90210 been up to?” is “Taking pictures of her plastic ball titty domes on the beach and not much else.” –  Drunken Stepfather

Wonky McValtrex found another victim – WWTDD

Who knew that an expired silicone breast implant of a person could raise a child who is smart, reasonable and probably hates her as much as everyone else does – The Superficial

Latarian Milton’s impact – Jezebel

FYI: Cam from Modern Family is a bossy bottom, which means that Mitchell is a top?! Can’t be. They must wear the hell out of their double-sided dildo – Towleroad

I see that creepy hand trying to creep its way to Jessica Alba’s chichis area – Hollywood Tuna

Leonardo DiCatchAHo takes his floating Pussy Posse Palace to Ibiza – Popsugar

How many inanimate objects does it take to hide a herp sore on Vanessa Hudgens’ lip? – Popoholic

But how does Terrence Howard expect his ex-wife to stay baby wipes fresh if he cuts off her alimony?! – ICYDK

No, these pepaws and memaws have nothing on the crutches-throwing wedding dancer, but they’ve still got moves – The Berry

My heart goes out to you hos who watch Sons of Anarchy, because you’ll have to suffer through an episode starring Lea MicheleHuffPo

And here’s a Russian raccoon eating grapes – OMG Blog

I was “eh” about Disney’s new Jungle Book movie, but throw in Christopher Walken’s voice as an orange orangutan and suddenly my “eh” turns into a “yeeeessssPajiba

Panty Creamer of the Day: Stephen Amell flashes his cum gutters at Comic-Con – Just Jared

Don Rickles speaks for us all when it comes to Justin BieberSOW

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

July 25, 2014 / Posted by:

Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult may or may not have broken up again and he may or may not have moved onto Elvis‘ granddaughter who may or may have not boned Robert Pattinson and I may or may not be making you go crazy by typing may or may not a million times – Lainey Gossip

If you happen to see a Sasquatch humping your tree in the backyard, don’t worry, it’s just Khlozilla. She’s horny and not getting any since French Montana’s Shrek peen is fasting for Ramadan – Celebitchy

Backdoor Farrah’s starring in another whorror movie because her last one co-starring James Deen wasn’t scary enough – Reality Tea

Model Andreja Pejić has come out as a trans woman – Towleroad

Parasite Hilton doing another Carl’s Jr commercial is Carl’s Jr way of letting you know that they use Valtrex as a filler in their meat now – The Superficial

House of Style has been brought back from foreclosure and will be hosted by Iggy Azalea for some reason – Jezebel

Either Lindsay Lohan queefed or that water is just naturally really green – Drunken Stepfather

Jennette McCurdy doesn’t want to be a role model and in other words, she wants to post pictures of her ass on Instagram without stupid parents trying to kill her buzz – WWTDD

Kelly Brook is timely – Hollywood Tuna

Things I’ve learned from The Rock’s Instagram: He does a lot of sitting, standing and walking – The Berry

Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden take their grossness to France – Popsugar

Selena Gomez tries to bring the sexy but still looks like a little girl playing dress up in her mom’s closet if her mom was JLo – Popoholic

Liberty Ross should send a thank you note to Kristen Stewart’s snatch, because she almost got everything in the divorce – ICYDK

Joaquin Phoenix might be Doctor Strange – HuffPo

Morgan Freeman is on helium again – SOW

I’ve never had it for Wes Bentley, but take his top off, cover him in tattoos and make him look like he uses motor oil as lube and I’m all in – Just Jared

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs

July 24, 2014 / Posted by:

Bradley Cooper and Sookeh Waterhouse had words in New Orleans and I’m sure it was nothing. It was probably just a good old-fashioned beard fight and they were arguing over how her contract states that she must do at least 2 photo-ops per trip and she’s only done 1. You know how difficult those beards can be. And people walking by who didn’t know who they were probably figured B. Coop was just a regular dad getting on his 12-year-old daughter’s case. Dads are so lame! – Lainey Gossip 

Charisma Carpenter celebrated her birthday by giving her fans a cupcake with a candle in it and by that I mean she posted a picture of her tit and hard nipple - Drunken Stepfather

So I guess Michael Rapaport isn’t going to be in another Spike Lee joint anytime soon. But does Spike Lee even make movies anymore? – Celebitchy

Jennette McCurdy wants all you gross boys to stop fapping to the pictures of her ass that she Instagramms so gross boys can fap to them – The Superficial

NeNe Leakes might be in Cinderella on Broadway and I’m guessing she’s either playing the pumpkin carriage or the royal horse – Reality Tea

And six seconds later, THE QUEEN ordered that those Australian tourists be sent to the gallows for butting into HER picture – Towleroad

Jean Kasem, stop kissing the pride of Germany Micaela Schaefer and go and bury Caesy Kasem already! – Hollywood Tuna

Zoe Saldana’s got two babies growing in her uterus – Popsugar

Shia LaBeouf took a bath for court – WWTDD

BREAKING: Lauren Conrad went blonder and now she looks even more like a stale slice of Wonder Bread – The Berry

Bravo is really soaping up The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and I hope this means that Susan Lucci is joining the cast next, because lives will be made if she slapped down Lisa VanderpumpJezebel

Selena Gomez went on a boat ride with a hot piece who looks like a gay Turtle from EntouragePopoholic

Joan Rivers before she turned herself into a non-biodegradable plastic puppet – SOW

Portia de Rossi wants a Band-Aid baby – ICYDK

Conclusion: If you swapped the chick out for a dude in an Uncle Terry shoot, the picture would have 100% more hairy ass in it – OMG Blog

Steve Sanders hurt Donna Martin’s feewings – HuffPo

DanRad likes fucking while sober – Just Jared

Childhoods are dead: RIP BOP MagazineBoy Culture

Pic: Pacific Coast News


Night Crumbs

July 23, 2014 / Posted by:

Pimp Mama Kris is shitting out a kookbook. You can finally get the recipe for Kim Kartrashian’s world-famous kum kasserole and PMK’s Sacrifice to Satan Surprise – Reality Tea

Zac Efron probably looks a lot like the beautiful unicorns that used to frolic in Robert Pattinson’s enchanted forest hair, so it makes sense that they’re friends – Lainey Gossip

If you thought that Selena Gomez was going through “a lesbian phase” when she was with Justin Bieber, your ass should know that might not have been a “phase,” because she’s on a boat with Michelle Rodriguez’s ex-piece Cara Delawhatever right now – Drunken Stepfather

Charlie Hunnam doesn’t care about getting an Emmy – Celebitchy

Photoshop has been challenged: Brit Brit is modeling her own line of lingerie now – The Superficial

Well, the good news is that at least a tampon string isn’t hanging out of Brandi Glanville’s twat – WWTDD

Will the Big Brother dudes stop teasing and have a big gay orgy in that ugly bird nest bed already? – Towleroad

And here’s a pussy nuzzling on a horse (not a link to a Trace Cyrus sex tape, I promise) – The Berry

Snoop Dogg turned the White House into the Green House (but probably not) – ICYDK

Miley Cyrus looking like a dumpster raver Susan PowterHollywood Tuna

The Brangeloonies will soon have another wedding picture of their idols to put in a silver frame on their mantle – Jezebel

Jack O’Connell’s soft peen: here it is – (NSFW) OMG Blog

FYI: Emmy Rossum doesn’t do the “cover the pin pan with my other hand” trick when she’s at the ATM – Popoholic

Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden are being gross together in Italy – Popsugar

Remember when Rachel McAdams was in The Hot Chick? Yeah, I blocked that out too – SOW

Lea Michele’s new piece’s week rate can’t be cheap. Bitch better get a new gig fast – Just Jared

True Blood did its job, because they made Ted Cruz mad – IDLYITW

Lafayette from True Blood comes for Luke “I Don’t Want To Do Gay Stuff On Camera” Grimes and it’s glorious – Pajiba


Night Crumbs

July 22, 2014 / Posted by:

Someone on Instagram overheard Leonard DiCatchAHo talking shit about Matt Damon at a restaurant in Miami. It’s not known what kind of shit Leonardo was spilling about Matt, but my guess is that he’s pissed, because that whore Matt Damon stole the role of Scott Thorson in Behind the Candelabra from him and he really wanted to do Michael Douglas from behind. That role-wrecking slut Matt Damon!  - Lainey  Gossip 

Looks like Yolanda Foster is raising the next Parasite HiltonWWTDD

Yes, Justin Theroux is allergic to color, in case you were wondering – Celebitchy

Pure natural elegance has a name and it’s Adriana De Moura! – Reality Tea

And somewhere off in the distance, a scorpion has gone blind - Drunken Stepfather

Backdoor Farrah thinks that Jessica Alba or Sandra Bullock should play her in a movie, and I would expect nothing less from a plastic supermarket pony ride with dried cum balls for brains - The Superficial

The producers of Cuckoo have learned that Taylor Lautner’s shit acting skills seem to get a little better when he takes his top off – Towleroad

In “What Did Taylor Swift Wear To Walk Into A Building Today?” news…. – Hollywood Tuna

Sarah Palin got a speeding ticket and she hasn’t blamed Obama, yet – Jezebel

David Lynch designed a yoga wear collection for chicks, because he’s David Lynch and his main job is to keep you WTFing at all times – OMG Blog

Natalie Portman’s hair looks like curly fries – Popoholic

Celeb whores who’ve got the opposite of that Benjamin Button’s shit (but why is Sarah Jessica Parker on this list?) – The Berry

Philip Seymour Hoffman doesn’t want his kids to grow up to be trust fund assholes – ICYDK

Things that’ll make you miss Partners in Kryme: The new Teenage Mutant Turtles theme song – Pajiba

This is what JLo looks like in a bikini in case you forgot – IDLYITW

Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love were vanguards of the bathroom selfie movement – HuffPo

Ryan Phillippe could really use a strong Sharpie brow – Just Jared

It must be weird for Selena Gomez to be with a piece who doesn’t need his diaper changed every 3 hours – Popsugar


Night Crumbs

July 21, 2014 / Posted by:

If somebody ever asks you to define the meaning of “sophistication,” show them these pictures of Danity Kane looking like late-80s hookers who are known for giving blow jobs for beer in a parking lot Port-A-Potty at Nascar races – Hollywood Tuna

Oscar Isaac bites Pedro Pascal’s ear and judging by Pedro Pascal’s face, he’s also getting a little “poked in the butt” action – Lainey Gossip

The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s ratings are dropping faster than Juicy Joe’s side piece when he waves a stolen $100 at her face, because nobody’s here for Teresa Giudice’s PR stunt - Reality Tea

Zendaya dropped out of the Aaliyah Lifetime movie, because she thought the production values were trash and when a 17-year-old Disney trick thinks your production values are trash…. – Celebitchy

The Swedish Shauna Sand goes sugar daddy hunting in Greece – WWTDD

Alessandra Ambrosia Salad served up some chola stripper hotness in Brazil - Drunken Stepfather

Selena Gomez’s plastic titty bags deflated - The Superficial

Panic! At The Disco trolls the trolls – Jezebel

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black were on a plane that had to make an emergency landing in Russia, but wait, those two fly coach?! – Towleroad

Oh, look, Kim Kartrashian did something she NEVER does – IDLYITW

What in the hell kind of GD outfit is Selena Gomez wearing? – Popoholic

The National Enquirer’s TOMMY GIRL’S GAY LIFE EXPOSED cover story would’ve been shocking and brand new if the year was 1985 – Boy Culture

Joaquin Phoenix is Hollywood’s greatest forehead actor – The Berry

These pictures of Sofia Vergara and Joe ManJello are so natural and so not staged! – Popsugar

The Shining prequel that nobody needed or asked for is coming – OMG Blog

Lauren Conrad calls out Allure for the truest thing they’ve ever published – HuffPo

Zac Efron spent the night at Michelle Rodriguez’s house and if you stare at his overnight bag long enough, you can almost see the outline of a double-sided dildo – Just Jared


Night Crumbs

July 18, 2014 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt wore his homemade Brangelina t-shirt and beige blazer on June 9th. He was still wearing his homemade Brangelina t-shirt and beige blazer in Marseilles yesterday. I don’t think he’s changed and he’s going to keep wearing his homemade Brangelina t-shirt and beige blazer until either his toxic body cheese eats them off or until they mutate and grow legs and arms and pull themselves off of his body. I’m going to put a week’s worth of weed money on the first one – Lainey Gossip 

Lupita Nyongo’s on French Elle looking like she’s birthing out the sun and is really, really excited about it – Jezebel

Star Magazine wants you to believe that Gisele Bundchen is the Joan Crawford to Tom Brady’s Christine Darling and makes him scrub toilets at 6am – Celebitchy

Jessica from True Blood already got a new job – The Superficial

So did Wentworth MillerJust Jared

Backdoor Farrah is obviously a graduate of Detective Courtney Love’s Night School of Mystery Solving, because she just solved the mystery of who hacked her frozen yogurt website! – Reality Tea

This is what Lady CaCa’s nipple looks like in case you forgot – Drunken Stepfather

Andrew Rannells as Hedwig kind of look like an end-of-the-night Amanda PalmerTowleroad

Um, somebody please get a crowbar and a blow torch, because methinks Megan Fox Botoxed her eyelids so much that she can’t lift ‘em anymore – Hollywood Tuna

TGIF! Here’s Kat Dennings’ chichis – Popoholic

It’s Hell I Should Work Out But Fapping Burns A Lot Of Calories Right? Friday! – The Berry

No, it’s not at all embarrassing that Katy Perry is mad about not getting nominated for a coveted MTV VMA – IDLYITW

Brad Pitt and St. Angie Jolie’s new movie has a name – Popsugar

Looking like a cheese-filled hot dog covered in mustard (no offense to cheese-filled hot dogs covered in mustard) – ICYDK

Julia Ormond has a really good reason for why she dumped her last piece – HuffPo

Dustin Lance Black’s twink diving piece is topless on AttitudeBoy Culture

Pic: Bauer Griffin


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