Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

May 27, 2016 / Posted by:

It takes real glamour and elegance to pull away the spotlight from those exquisite eyebrows in the back, but Mimi managed to do it by looking like the kind of demure biker tramp who causes grown men to hit each other with bottles – Lainey Gossip

Bravo is squirting out 7 new shows and none of them are a reboot of Gallery Girls, so I don’t care – Reality Tea

Kaley Cuoco is moving at Kaley Cuoco speeds of fast with her new piece – Celebitchy

Every Trick In The World Is Wearing a Choker Like It’s 1992 Again: The Charlotte McKinney Edition – Drunken Stepfather

Every Trick In The World Is Wearing A Choker Like It’s 1992 Again: The Bella Hadid Edition – Hollywood Tuna

Kanye and Kim Kartrashian are suing a bodyguard who spilled a bunch of shit that’s most likely true – The Superficial

Whip up some donkey sauce lube and get into this Guy Fieri erotica – Egotastic!

Vladimir Putin and Elton John aren’t going to have a gay rights kiki anymore – Towleroad

Justin Bieber got sued for alleged song thievery. The only reasonable response to that is: IMPRISON HIM IMMEDIATELY! – Starcasm

Rich entitled brat is dating (alleged) rich entitled brat – IDLYITW

Megan Fox talked about growing a baby in her body – Popsugar

At least someone is bringing classic glamour to the prom! – OMG Blog

Puck from Glee finally got indicted for child porn possession – Just Jared

Dynasty turned 35 yesterday and I just slapped myself Alexis-style for not knowing this, and the country should also slap itself Alexis-style for not declaring it a national holiday – Boy Culture

That thing on Sir Patrick Stewart’s head looks like it was made with fur pulled off of a cat’s hairbrush, but I still would – SOW

Pic: Splash

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Night Crumbs

May 26, 2016 / Posted by:

“If this motherfucker makes me address him as Oscar winner™ Leonardo DiCaprio one more damn time…” – that skinny model type riding next to Leonardo DiCatchAHo who is having the time of his life – Lainey Gossip

Bitches Got Sued: The Terry and Heather Dubrow Edition – Reality Tea

I see that Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid’s contract renegotiations may have broken down – Celebitchy

My eyes really don’t know where to settle on this picture of RiRi, so I’m just going to go ahead and settle them on that wheelchair access button – Drunken Stepfather

Okay, but does a human puppy wake your ass up in the middle of the night by digging on the bed and do they decide to take the messiest shit possible during the one walk you forget to bring a poop bag to? If the answer to both of those questions is no, then I may need to trade in my real dog for a human dog – Egotastic!

This rumor will come to such a shock to you that you will spit out the lawyer dick you’re sucking as payment for representation in your murder trial – The Superficial 

Sophie Turner guessed that the X-Men movie she’s in would be the worst one. She’s slycic, obviously – IDLYITW

What in grandma’s Easter tablecloth HELL is Emilia Clarke wearing? – Popoholic

Goopy Paltrow and Chris Martin have finally finished up their divorce settlement. I wonder who got custody of Uncle Jay-Z? – HuffPo

An evil gay billionaire mogul is trying to destroy Gawker – Towleroad

Leona Lewis got a job as Grizabella in Cats on Broadway – Jezebel

Jose Canseco’s daughter got a job modeling swimsuits – Hollywood Tuna

Now that Lamar Odom’s storyline on Krapping Up the Kuntrashians is over, Khlozilla can finally file for divorce again – Starcasm

Nashville may live on – Just Jared

And I’m sure that the “Shit Shit Shit” remix of Adele’s song “Million Years Ago” is going to sell 3 million copies – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

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Night Crumbs

May 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Anne Hathaway and James Corden got into a rap battle on his show. After watching it, I’m surprised that every major rapper didn’t immediately post their resignation letter from the game on Instagram before going to the nearest Starbucks to ask if they’re hiring. Because Anne brings it that hard – Lainey Gossip 

Sharon Osbourne thought Kelly Osbourne tweeting out her daddy’s side piece’s phone number was hilarious! Of course she did. I’m sure she was there when Kelly did it and afterward they toilet papered and egged that hussy whore’s house! – Celebitchy

Theresa Giudice’s bankruptcy case has been re-opened, but she’s not about to book another jail house photo shoot with InTouch, because she’s not in any trouble this time – Reality Tea 

RiRi’s new sunglasses for Dior look like Blue Blockers for rich space robots – Drunken Stepfather

Looking at Chloe Grace Moretz’s camel toe is something I did today – The Superficial

The hookers of Rosarito Beach, Mexico better stock up on PrEP and lots of condoms, because Charlie Sheen is apparently moving there – WWTDD

Brad Paisley yodeled about North Carolina’s transgender bathroom law – Towleroad

Carmen Electra looks hot and I’m not going to ruin my compliment by saying that her thirsty weave needs some Gatorade – Hollywood Tuna

Hot Topic’s Alice Through The Looking Glass clothing line looks exactly the way you’d think it looks – Pajiba

Leslie Jones worked as a Scientology telemarketer for a bit. There’s a part of me that wishes she would’ve joined those crazies and became Tom Cruise’s contract wife, because I know she’d bring them down from the inside! – Jezebel

Gigi Hadid walked and touched her hat at the same time. What did YOU do today? – Popoholic

Gwen Stefani probably would’ve looked better with just tinted moisturizer and Chapstick – OMG Blog

Blake Shelton ate sushi for the first time. Too easy – SOW

Who cares about Duchess Kate? Tell me more about that hot sailing dude – Popsugar

That chick that one sports announcer creamed over had a baby – IDLYITW

Not Just Another Caucasian Male, an upcoming Paul Walker biography by Michelle RodriguezHuffPo

Jennifer Aniston’s mother has died – Just Jared

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Night Crumbs

May 24, 2016 / Posted by:

Beyonce and Jay-Z may have already recorded a secret album together and I really hope they keep it 100% real with the title by calling it: “Ha Ha You Bitches Will Eat Up Absolutely Any Shit We Put Out: Vol 1” – Lainey Gossip 

Two natural and elegant roses posed together at a very elegant party – Reality Tea 

One of Jennifer Lawrence’s snot dingles hung out of her nose during The Tonight Show, so it’s really only a matter of time before she butt sneezes into her panties and shows the audience her shart. That’ll happen during the next press tour – Celebitchy

Rita Ora posed next to the words “Side Bitch,” because she wants that Becky with the Good Hair attention again – Drunken Stepfather

You already knew this, but working for Kanye West is about as pleasant as a hot sauce enema – The Superficial

The nerds want Captain America to get some dick already – Towleroad

The Photoshop Awards: Jessica Simpson’s swimsuit ads – Hollywood Tuna

Bar Refaeli’s knocked up (and alleged tax evading) ass is in Elle SpainEgotastic!

Gillian Anderson is Tumblr’s new queen – Pajiba

THE GREATEST SINGUH IN DA WORLD talks Prince, her late husband and Madonna doing Prince (not like that) – OMG Blog

The moment when Johnny Depp and Pink realize that they have the same hairstylist – HuffPo

Koryea Kardashian made their debut on Instagram, and Blac Chyna thanked God for gifting her with a precious ATM in her womb – IDLYITW

Why is Sarah Jessica Parker wearing my plastic chair mat as a dress? – Just Jared

Kelly Ripa licked a fake pussy with what looks like a really weird sex toy – SOW

Kaley Cuoco did her “okay, I’m going to act like I didn’t call of you but just keep snapping, love you” strut in front of the paps – Popoholic

I see that Brad Pitt is trying to get more saint points than St. Angie Jolie. Keep trying, Brad – Popsugar

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

May 23, 2016 / Posted by:

One barista at Starbucks told Helen Hunt that they didn’t need her name because they got her (wink wink) and then they wrote her name down as “Jody,” as in Foster. Meanwhile, Samuel L. Jackson feels no pity for Helen Hunt as he looks down as his Venti latte with the name “Laurence” written on it – HuffPo

Pink went flying through the air during her Billboard Music Awards performance, and that’s not surprising, because Pink. But why was she done up like that? Isn’t her song for that Alice Through The Looking Glass movie? Pink looked more like a hipster version of a flying monkey in a Silver Lake community theater production of Wizard of OzLainey Gossip 

Mad Mel’s got another young piece he can scream at to blow him before Jacuzzi – Celebitchy

Um, excuse you, Lindsay Lohan, but that butterfly one piece belongs on Mimi, not you! – Drunken Stepfather

Kim Kartrashian’s dress looks like it’s covered with sparkly, embossed diarrhea – Reality Tea

Whoopi Goldberg is producing a reality show about transgender models – Instinct

Ashley Graham is Joe Jonas’ girlfriend in some music video  – The Superficial

David Walliams gay’d it up for a wet, topless acrobat on Britain’s Got Talent, and some weren’t happy about it – Towleroad

So, it looks like IN THIS ECONOMY, Disney re-used the Cinderella sets for their live-action Beauty and the Beast movie – Jezebel

The Slow One wore a leather diaper to host a party in Las Vegas – Egotastic!

Here’s Hailee Steinfeld in a two-piece – Popoholic

The Difficult Brown didn’t like a picture of his daughter in a tutu, so he re-posted to his millions of followers, because he’s smart like that – Starcasm

My vote for the next Bond goes to the pussy in a box – Pajiba

Fergie’s suffocating chichis look like they’re about to turn blue and pass out – Hollywood Tuna

Madge defended her Prince tribute after BET threw some shade at her, and that’s great and everything, but where is Sinead O’Connor! I need Sinead’s thoughts about this NOW! – Just Jared

Pimp Mama Kris wants to change her last name to Kardashian again because she was the original Kardashian! I think that’s her way of saying that she’s a 4,000-year-old vampire who is immortal thanks to selling her soul to Satan and she was the first person on the planet with the last name Kardashian. Makes sense  – Popsugar

Pic: @HelenHunt

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Night Crumbs

May 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Zac Efron is still out there pimping Neighbors 2, and you know, I never noticed how his hair looks like a majestic wave that gold dolphins jump through, or like a lush long-haired guinea pig taking a nap after getting groomed – Lainey Gossip 

Tom Daley wears teeny tiny Speedos because he doesn’t want any peen slips – Instinct Magazine

Ellie Golding and her new Kylie Jenner-approved lips are in Flare MagazineDrunken Stepfather

Ever since that video of Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston dancing like somebody’s drunk parents came out, I’ve been waiting for the tabloids to say that they’re doing it and The National Enquirer didn’t disappoint – Celebitchy

Thank GOD Kim Zolciak put on her restin’ wig and took a vacation from her stressful life of posing in waist trainers on Instagram and boozing in front of Bravo’s cameras – Reality Tea

Tyga found another fame whore who will date him for his money his looks his personality Instagram followers – The Superficial

THE GREATEST SINGUH IN DA WORLD covers QueenTowleroad

Kylie Jenner’s transformation into Kim Kartrashian 2.0 is pretty much complete now – IDLYITW

John Barrowman demonstrates the dangers of sitting in high heels – SOW

Or if Fox wants more X-Men movies and don’t want to pay Jennifer Lawrence a Mt. Everest-sized mountain of cash, they can bring back the best Mystique Rebecca Romjin! – Pajiba

Jose Canseco’s did the new (and hipster-ized) PlayboyHollywood Tuna

That falcon is giving better face than professional model Bella HadidPopoholic

RIP all these shows – Popsugar

FYI: Kristen Stewart hasn’t dumped Alicia Cargile for a new piece, yet – HuffPo

I know I should think this is cute, but now I’m scared – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

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Night Crumbs

May 19, 2016 / Posted by:

In case you were wondering, Rachel McAdams and Taylor Kitsch are still making sweet maple syrup love together and are still Canada’s runner-up royal couple behind Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger, of course – Lainey Gossip 

The Baywatch movie is obviously going to sweep the Oscars, so I expect to see Zac Efron’s dick in it – Celebitchy

Heidi Klum’s nipples came out in Saint-Tropez – The Superficial

Adriana Lima’s dress looks like it’s covered with black licorice spiders – Drunken Stepfather

Because of this gorgeous look, I expect to see GG from Shahs of Sunset on Vogue’s best dress of the year list – Reality Tea

Nick Jonas took a break from going topless for the gays to go on Sesame Street Towleroad

Dr. Luke’s label is letting Kesha perform on the Billboard Awards after all – Jezebel

The Photoshop Awards: Kate Hudson in Shape magazine – Hollywood Tuna

Daddy Knowles earned that allowance – Popsugar

Michael Cera and Willow Smith made a song together, and I don’t know why it happened or how it happened, but it makes sense, because hipsters – Pajiba

Cara Delawhatever wore a bunch of ugly clothes in W MagazineThe Nip Slip

Sure, Jan – Starcasm

Bella Hadid looks like a 60s go-go dancer going to a business meeting and I’m into it – Popoholic

Leave it to flaming suppository Scott Isadick to fuck up the one (and really easy) job he had to do – HuffPo

Sir Mix-A-Lot FINALLY responded to Blake NotSoLively’s “Oakland Booty” comment – Just Jared

Pic: HBO

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Night Crumbs

May 18, 2016 / Posted by:

Courtney Stodden’s estranged mother has the sads over finding out about her daughter’s pregnancy in the media and said that she wishes they could experience this precious time together. I see where the Porn Iguana’s mess of a mother is coming from. I mean, if she doesn’t get to know her grandchild, how is she going to sell the poor thing off to a has-been creep-faced actor in 16 years? – Reality Tea 

Joel Edgerton is kind of giving me “hot piece version of Haley Joel Osment” in these pictures from Cannes – Lainey Gossip

Miley Cyrus is a nipple-flashing ninja – Drunken Stepfather

There’s only one solution to this: Ship all of the Kartrashians to Iran before they declare war on us! – The Superficial

You won’t ever see Cameron Diaz in a tube top – Celebitchy

Today in “Bitch, I Won’t Believe It Until I Get An Actual Invitation Even Though I Don’t Want An Invitation” news, there’s reports that claim gay “sex roulette” parties are happening in Spain – Towleroad

Selena Gomez looks like a Nickelodeon Jennifer Lopez here – Hollywood Tuna

Um, the new Ghostbusters trailer is out, and I’m not sure, but I think the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is a meth head now – IDLYITW

Katy Perry’s shoes probably cost $4,500, but my mom had a pair just like that in the 90s from Payless. Why pay more when you can Payless? – Popoholic

Alex Jones is one crazy bitch! Michelle Obama isn’t a transgender assassin who killed Joan Rivers. She’s obviously an alien who wants us to eat vegetables instead of fast food, because she’s planted tiny mind-reading chips in the earth’s supply of broccoli. Duh! I read it in the Weekly World News – Pajiba

It’s Oscar Isaac holding a pooch. This is all we need today – Jezebel

The Tetris movie is probably happening for real – Egotastic!

Hungarian reality show peen alert! – OMG Blog

Yup, Miley Cyrus is still smoking some strong shit – SOW

Oh please, like Zac Efron still doesn’t Google “Zac Efron shirtless” all day, every day – Just Jared

CoCo and Chanel are living the life – Popsugar

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

May 17, 2016 / Posted by:

“You know what’s awesome? I like wearing no shirt, but you have jeans on the bottom. It’s cool but it’s not” is just one of the beautiful lines of frat boy wisdom that came out of Gronk’s mouth during his interview with GQ. If Gronk’s words could be liquefied, they’d make an extra-powerful douche that would put Summer’s Eve out of business for good – Celebitchy

E!’s new scripted show The Arrangement should be titled The Couch Jumper, because it’s pretty much about Tommy Cruise and Katie Holmes’ contract marriage. I am all for it, but getting Michael Vartan to play the “David Miscavige” is just wrong. They should’ve cast a really bossy garden gnome instead – Lainey Gossip 

Julia Roberts does have a look in her eyes that says, “This one’s for you, Quentin Tarantino.” – Drunken Stepfather

Vicki Gunvalson’s new piece looks like Reno, NV’s fifth most popular Frankie Avalon impersonator – Reality Tea

Xtina thought that Hillary Clinton eye fucking her tits was awesome – The Superficial

Now that Kyle Richards has worn pointy shoulder pads, can the trend finally be taken out back and shot? – Popoholic

Krysten Ritter is giving me magician’s assistant glamour – Popoholic

The Backstreet Boys got into a hot tub with a bunch of their fans, and I don’t think that’s bubbles and foam in there… – SOW

Dr. Luke won’t let Kesha perform at the Billboard Music Awards, so basically he’s Ursula, because HER VOICE forever belongs to him – Jezebel

More of Gronk being Gronk – Towleroad

My 8-year-old self who asked my mom to only buy me lady villain action figures doesn’t understand this – Pajiba

Petra Nemcova brought the demure elegance by wearing sheer drapes as a top – Egotastic!

Chloe Grace Moretz’s dress looks like a really disorganized lingerie drawer – IDLYITW

I can’t wait for this movie about the dark side of the tickling fetish world. I bet that the evil mastermind who is bullying all those dudes turns out to be… Tickle Me Elmo! – OMG Blog

And here’s Leonardo DiCatchAHo getting on a piece in a club, because you haven’t seen that 4,342,123 times before – Popsugar

The woman who is suing Bill Cosby for allegedly drugging and assaulting her has pulled Hugh Hefner into the lawsuit – HuffPo

Pic: GQ

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Night Crumbs

May 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Here’s Idris Elba as The Gunslinger on the set of The Dark Tower. How many times do you think he heard a trick say, “You can stick me up with your loaded weapon anytime you want“? What’s that you say? Not once, because he probably doesn’t work with a bunch of hard-up, cheesy pervs like me? Yeah, that’s what I thought too  – Lainey Gossip 

I’m into Gwen Stefani’sshowgirl going hunting” outfit, but that dead skunk hair should’ve been left on the side of the road – Celebitchy

This election is so messed up that it’s got Wendell Pierce smacking up Bernie Sanders supporters – The Superficial 

Chestica Simpson showed up and showed out on Saturday night – Drunken Stepfather

Two things: 1. Why was Jocelyn Wildenstein at Nicky Hilton’s baby shower? 2. That’s Jocelyn Wildenstein next to Nicky, right? – Reality Tea 

An L.A. meteorologist was told to cover up on air, and I’m surprised they didn’t also hand her an apron and tell her to get back into the kitchen, woman! – Towleroad

Beyonce is the new Kathie Lee GiffordJezebel

Things that should’ve stayed in the 90s: that top Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new enemy is wearing – Popoholic

No. – Hollywood Tuna 

The cement-faced woman got a brand new mug thanks to BotchedOMG Blog

Harley Quinn and the ladies of DC are getting their own spin-off movie – Pajiba

The Flip or Flop dude says that the house auctions are real. Yeah, real fake and re-enacted on a sound stage with paid actors. You can’t fool me, HGTV! – Starcasm

The teaser trailer for Fox’s Rocky Horror Picture Show butchery is out and it makes Glee’s RHPS episode look like an authentic recreation of the original  – HuffPo

St. Angie Jolie had words to say about Donald Trump (aka Jon Voight’s homeboy) and his proposed ban on Muslims entering the country – Just Jared

Our Lady of Cheetos and Our Lord of Socks With Sandals reunited at their kids’ soccer game – Popsugar

The meaning of true love is restored, because Orlando Bloom motorboated (probably) Katy Perry on a yacht – IDLYITW

Pic: Bauer Griffin 

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