Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

November 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Emily Blunt is on the cover of Vogue in Mary Poppins drag and her expression is a mixture of “meh” and “stoned into the clouds” (they don’t call her Emily SmokeABlunt for nothing)! That’s a pretty fitting facial expression, because I’m pretty meh about this new Mary Poppins’ movie and I know I’m going to have to get ten kinds of stoned to watch it – Lainey Gossip

Bella Hadid is here to once again show you how bad 90s fashion could be – Popoholic

If your dead heart hasn’t felt things from the It’s Always Sunny coming out dance yet, here you go – Towleroad

The Spice Girls have reached “let’s tell a story about the time one of us barfed in the other one’s mouth” levels of desperate in their bid to sell tickets to their reunion tour. And yes, some sucio bitch will probably fap to that – Celebitchy

Elegance has been redefined by Rita Ora’s strip club Swan Lake look – Drunken Stepfather

The Woosley Wildfire took Caitlyn Jenner’s Malibu house – Just Jared

If you’ve got your Masters in She-Ra, go for your PhD! – SyFy Wire

“I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET SOME HD CLOSE-UP CRYSTAL CLEAR DICK AND INSTEAD I GET COLD WET SOFT BLURRINESS AND CROTCH HAIRS!” – me to Netflix while trying to get a refund (NSFW because Chris Pine’s blurry wet peen is at the link) – OMG Blog 

Pic: Vogue

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Night Crumbs

November 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Finally, the serious film journalists over at HuffPo have done a detailed review of Chris Pine’s peen in Netflix’s Outlaw King. But the review didn’t say if  Chris’ peen is wearing a badass metal hood like the one in that picture above, or how many veins it’s got, or approximately how long is it, or if it could pin down Michael Fassbender’s peen in a wrasslin’ match or not. And they call themselves journalists! – Towleroad

I was going to awwww over these two hobos in love, but I’m too busy heaving over FKA Twigs’ ugly shoes from the depths of 90s hell – Lainey Gossip 

If Bella Thorne was going for “cracked out Gremlin lot lizard,” she took it too far! Dial it back, girl – Drunken Stepfather

And now I really want some vanilla chocolate chip ice cream – Popoholic

Porsha Williams is out of the hospital and is feeling well enough to use her fingers to thank the well-wishers – Reality Tea

The day Duchess Meghan actually takes the royal baby on the subway is the day that Morrissey is seen buying a load of I Heart THE QUEEN merchandise at a gift shop near Buckingham Palace  – Celebitchy

Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade are parents to a baby girl now – SOW

Chihuahua? To me that looks more like Owen Wilson after shape-shifting into a weird-looking cat – Pajiba

Only now?! – Hollywood Tuna 

Expected Donald Trump take a break from his busy schedule of tweeting to tweet about how Kathy Griffin’s failed love life now matches her failed career – Just Jared

Pic: Netflix

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Night Crumbs

November 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Because tricks just can’t leave a hit well enough alone and have to milk as many coins as possible out of something, a Breaking Bad spinoff movie, probably starring Aaron Paul, is in the works. Why stop at trying to get more money just out of Breaking Bad fans? Why not try to get money from fans of other AMC shows? What they should do is greenlight a movie where Jesse tries to make extra strong meth using chemicals he’s never worked with before, which causes an explosion that sends him flying back to the 1960s where he gets a job at an ad agency that is ran by zombies. The Breaking Dead Men, coming in 2019! – Celebitchy

Hot: Alexander Skarsgard still is…. even while wearing AirPods – Lainey Gossip 

Bella Hadid is giving you call girl in the Matrix universe – Drunken Stepfather

Hmm… was Bryan Singer the producer of this gay revolution movie? – Towleroad

It was nice of Breathless Mahoney to let Amber Heard borrow one of her old ones – Popoholic

Some more good news from last night: Latrice Royale can vote again! – Pajiba

Why do I have a feeling that this is going to lead to another Kandi Burruss spin-off? – Reality Tea

This looks worse than fruitcake and I can’t wait to watch it –  Just Jared

Pic: AMC

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Night Crumbs

November 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Before today’s election, Barbra Streisand got together with GLAAD to robocall the LGBTQ community to get them to vote. So if you’re a gay person who got robocalled by Babs and didn’t vote, Grindr will crash every time you try to open it, the new Robyn album will lag and skip when you try to stream it, and The Golden Girls will no longer be available on Hulu for you. Babs got your gay number, hussy! – Towleroad

What in coked up toddler at a disco HELL is Shailene Woodley wearing? – Lainey Gossip

What in tire bustier meets background curtain at a drag show HELL is Rachel McAdams wearing? – Popoholic

Axl Rose is woke now – Pajiba

The hot bloated douche from Vanderpump Rules (I know, I really narrowed it down) is ready to spawn – Reality Tea

“Pfft, amateurs!” – CharoCelebitchy

Russell Crowe as Roger Ailes is giving me grandpa Peter Griffin instead – Just Jared 

Stop me if you’ve heard the one about the gay conversion therapist who got caught trolling for man ass on the internet – Boy Culture

Jezebel did a profile on Dlisted and the current landscape of gossip blogs, and it’s truly an honor for my eye to be graced by Pamela Anderson’s titty bowls – Jezebel

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

November 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Kate Beckinsale was seen getting close to British comedian Jack Whitehall at a club, and they supposedly went to a hotel together afterward.  Okay, so either Kate humped on Jack Whitehall or “spies” got it wrong and she was really humping on a Zachary Levi impersonator with STAINS eyes. Either way, congrats to Kate for getting some ass, and congrats to the world for finding out about it – Lainey Gossip 

Why did I think Shannon Beador was in a Scott Baio and Danny Pintauro sandwich? Another visit to the eye doctor is calling my name – Reality Tea 

Debra Messing shit on her boss for airing a racist political ad – Towleroad

If you told me 10 years ago that one of Hef’s current girlfriends would be fake fucking bike seats on the internet in 2018 for attention, I wouldn’t call you a liar – Drunken Stepfather

Charlize Theron does make a good Megyn Kelly in the face, but I’m not totally going to buy into it until I see the flames of rage light up in her eyes as she talks about the possibility of Santa not being white – Pajiba

Speaking of flames of rage, if you want to see some light up in Keira Knightley’s eyes, ask her about The Little Mermaid again – Celebitchy

Sorry, TV actresses, but since Tyra Banks is playing several versions of Eve in Life-Size 2, she’s going to take up every slot in every Best Actress and Supporting Actress category – OMG Blog

Topanga got married! – People

If a parachute was magically transformed into a high school art teacher who also liked to go disco dancing…. – Popoholic

Fentanyl took another one: Mac Miller’s cause of death has been listed as “mixed drug toxicity”Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

November 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Prince Charles is on the cover of Vanity Fair for some profile to push into our brains about how much he works and how he’s totally not a pile of boring (with gorgeous bird wing brows, I might fucking add) like people think he is. That’s great and everything, but not once in Vanity Fair’s profile did they ask him that when he told Duchess Camilla he wanted to be her tampon, did he mean a regular one or a super absorbent one? I know, the hell kind of serious journalists do they got at Vanity Fair? – Lainey Gossip

Lisa Rinna as Erika Jayne sort of looks like a possessed ventriloquist dummy of a bootleg Michelle PfeifferReality Tea

Hugh JacksTheKushnersOff, but don’t worry they don’t get into politics. (Insert side-eye here) – Celebitchy

In case you were wondering, Logan Paul is a thing people are still paying attention to – Pajiba

This holiday season, RuPaul will bring on the ho ho ho ho hos (and that’s just the first five contestants) and crown the first ever Drag Race Christmas QueenTowleroad

Ireland Baldwin brought some peek-a-poon glamour on Halloween – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather 

I hate the overused saying “so and so won Halloween,” but well, then Jessica Simpson and Whatshisnamewhocares busted out a Twins costume – SOW

Wherefore art thou Emilia Clarke’s nipple knobs? – Popoholic

PODCAST NOTE: There won’t be a new episode out tomorrow, and it’s my fault again. I’ve got some new retina woes I’m dealing with, so if you want to complain, send a complaint letter to my right eye retina. We will be back to making your ears cringe with a new episode on Tuesday.

Pic: Vanity Fair 

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