Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

April 21, 2017 / Posted by:

The Saint Of Fame Whores, Kim Kartrashian, put her melting candle face on a Virgin Mary candle and some people are reaching for their rosaries while screaming about the sacrilege of it all. This really may be what brings down the Kartrashians for once and for all, because there’s no rage like the rage of a scorned Catholic abuelita!!!!! – Celebitchy

Katherine Heigl went for the “bootleg Betty Draper joining a biker gang” look and it’s not the look – Lainey Gossip

I’ve only tried to twerk once and I’ll never do it again because I looked like a sedated worm trying to wiggle out a shit. But well, my twerking is better than Bella Thorne’s twerking – Drunken Stepfather 

Shame isn’t only the name of an Evelyn “Champagne” King song, it’s also something that Apollo Nida has none of – Reality Tea

Captain America is doing Broadway – Lainey Gossip 

Emily RideAJetski let the world know that she has really powerful farts – Popoholic

Gigi Hadid kind of looks like a toddler-age Denise Richards here – Hollywood Tuna 

Something I Didn’t Know I Needed In My Life: Maury Povich dragging his arch rival David Letterman to the Ninth Circle and back again – SOW

Anna Wintour is totally going to break up with her bland muse Blake NotSoLively after finding out that Blake got pissed at a reporter who asked a fashion question at Variety’s Power Of Women event – Just Jared

Sandy Gallin, manager to many legends, has died – Towleroad

Pic: @KimKardashian

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Night Crumbs

April 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Ryan Gosling and Justin Theroux had lunch together and it may seem like a friend and/or business thing, but they left the restaurant separately. ESCANDALO! Ryan and Justin are obviously having a down-low gay affair and are making plans to run away together. Jennifer Aniston is going to be poor, miserable, lonely Jen again. And this time home wrecked by a Canadian. They’re supposed to be polite! – Lainey Gossip

Charisma Carpenter is giving me “all-natural mermaid caught in a net” hotness – Drunken Stepfather 

That’s great for Posh Beckham that she got an OBE, but that shit is a joke and I can’t respect it until one is given to the real jewel of England, Jodie Marsh! – Celebitchy

“Big deal, we’ve dated him too, Sonja Morgan” said everybody who has a vagina – Reality Tea 

The truth is, Lifetime is probably going to shit can Dance Moms because they need to make way for their new show: Dance Cell Mates starring Prisoner 666 (aka Abby Lee Miller) – SOW

If Warren Beatty made the announcement that Miami is renaming one of its streets after Moonlight, he would’ve said, “And I am pleased to announce that Miami is renaming one of its streets La La Land Way!” – Towleroad

I can practically hear the screaming coming from that string holding in Jessica Simpson’s titty balls as it tries to hold on for dear life – IDLYITW

There’s only one right answer to the question “What’s your favorite board game?” and that answer is: Fireball Island – Pajiba

Just wrap me up in this picture, turn off the lights and leave the room – Popsugar

Kate Upton’s tits and pits look like they’ve been FaceTuned – Hollywood Tuna 

It was nice of Beyonce to let Rosario Dawson wear one of her old Destiny’s Child outfits from the early-aughts – Popoholic

And in sad and shitty news, Cuba Gooding Sr. was found dead in his car and the police believe he overdosed – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

April 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Olivia de Havilland elegantly responded to The Hollywood Reporter’s questions about Feud, the 1963 Oscars and Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Since Olivia de Havilland is 100 years old and living in Paris, I expected her to gracefully end her response by telling that youngin’ to get off her meticulously manicured French lawn as she unwrapped a Wertheré’s Originalé. That’s “Werther’s Original” in French, by the way – Lainey Gossip 

A topless Joe Jonas and a bikini-wearing Sophie Turner used their middle fingers to let the paps know how much they love them – Drunken Stepfather

Aaron Rodgers’ and Olivia Munn’s people are stretching out their break-up for maximum attention – Celebitchy

Erika Jayne thinks Kenya Moore should twirl twirl twirl on the next season of Dancing with the Who Cares About That Trash Show Since They Got Rid Of CharoReality Tea

If you’ve always thought that being around Backdoor Farrah must be as pleasant as getting a hot sauce enema, her ex-boyfriend has confirmed that thought as true – WWTDD

America’s Finest Rose, Bella Thorne, is spreading her signature brand of demure elegance once again – The Nip Slip

Okay, but why is Lady Gaga doing Duchess Kate cosplay? – OMG Blog

Sorry, Ricky Martin, go backstage, put on some tighty whities and try again – Towleroad

Hilary Duff is serving “Effie Trinket on a budget” on the set of her show – Popoholic

I’m not high enough for this mess – Pajiba

Selena Gomez looks like she’s wearing one of Ann-Margret’s old ones – Hollywood Tuna

I’m sure Tom Brady will blow an air kiss apology at Donald Trump during their Skype kiki tonight – Just Jared

The first trailer for season 3 of the Unbreakable Kimmy Gibbler is here. I can’t help it. When my fingers type Kimmy, they just naturally start typing Gibbler – Popsugar

Pic: 20th Century Fox

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Night Crumbs

April 18, 2017 / Posted by:

The Rock and Vin Diesel have really put an end to their fight of egos for once and for all and are ready to work together on the next Fast and Furious movie. The Fate of the Furious has made over half a billion dollars worldwide already. So, I’m sure that these two muscled-up peen heads agreed to do another movie together because they realized they were being dumb and not because they want even more MONAY! Not that I blame them or anything… – Lainey Gossip

Katy Perry, Kristen Stewart, Halsey and Justin Bieber need to start wearing “My Name Is [Insert Their Name Here]” tags on their forehead because I can’t tell them apart anymore – Celebitchy

Charlotte McKinney was either at Coachella or she just posed in front of a giant poster of a desert house – Drunken Stepfather

If I was high on some kind of hallucinogenic while watching Tove Lo at Coachella, I’d probably expect her nips to start singing into the mic – The Nip Slip

Former Countess LuAnn’s daughter got a DUI – Reality Tea

Nothing will give you the full-body tingles like picturing an oiled-up Ice-T fuck Coco while wearing figure skates – WWTDD

A tattoo of what’s supposed to be Aaron Rodgers working a jock strap and a crop top has the homophobes’ assholes in a twist – Towleroad

Jeans, no shirt and a leather cap? Candice Swanepoel stole the look of 75% of the dudes at a leather bar – Hollywood Tuna

This American Assassin movie starring Dylan O’Brien and Taylor Kitsch is a comedy, right? – Pajiba

I bet if a TSA agent opened up Olivia Munn’s carry-on, they’d only find dozens and dozens of Japanese potatoes – Popoholic

Bella Thorne wants Kristen Stewart to be the SamRo to her LiLoIDLYITW

Luke Evans may be brushing his cheeks against Jon Kortajarena’s mink stole brows again – Just Jared

Oh, it’s just two homeless desert rats giving off zero amounts of heat while kissing at a gas station – Popsugar

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

April 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Do you remember that dress you bought from dELiA*s in the 90s and wore it in the picture you submitted for Sassy Magazine’s Sassiest Girl In America contest ? Well, that shameless thief Selena Gomez broke into your house, went into your garage, snatched that dress out of the box marked “90s fashunz” and wore it to Coachella with The WeekndLainey Gossip

Lisa Rinna is serving “Look, we could be sisters!” with her daughter. Pimp Mama Kris approves – Reality Tea

I was going to say that Phoebe Price must be working a side job as Parasite Hilton’s stylist, but Wonky wishes she had it like that – The Nip Slip 

Add Chris Pine and Sofia Boutella to the pile marked “actors who are probably casually doing it” along with Orlando Bloom and Nina DobrevCelebitchy

Kate Upton’s shitty Britney Spears impersonation gets a soggy Cheeto from me. I mean, it looks like she almost perfectly lip-synched every single lyric. Brit Brit would never! It’s like Kate Upton doesn’t even know who she’s impersonating  – Drunken Stepfather

Ricky Martin’s nipples made an appearance on CBS Sunday MorningTowleroad

If Destiny’s Child ever gets back together, this is what the lineup is probably going to look like. Poor Michelle, again  – Starcasm

The first picture from the 896th remake of A Star Is Born is out and two things: 1. It’s going to be a Razzie-sweeping mess. And 2. Bradley Cooper looks like the lead of the mid-west’s fourth most popular Creed cover band – OMG Blog

Pink circa 1999, is that you? – WWTDD

Kara Del Toro’s dress thing looks like it’s covered with a gonorrhea rash that was spray painted gold – Popoholic

Like every other semi-famous 20-something actress who wanted a reason to wear coochie cutters, Victoria Justice was at Coochella – Hollywood Tuna

Drake claimed that a country club in La Quinta, CA racially profiled him – Just Jared

Carmelo and La La Anthony’s seven year marriage is done for now – Popsugar

Pic: Instagram

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Night Crumbs

April 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Yeah, I don’t know if you heard or anything, but a little trailer for a little movie called Star Something: The Last Whatever came out today. And yes, I’m writing this while sitting on a door that’s floating on the ocean of nerd jizz that is now covering 100% of the world – Towleroad

The thing is, I doubt Jennifer Aniston even posed for these awkward Smartwater ads herself. It looks like they just copy + pasted her face onto some double’s body – Lainey Gossip

While I stuff my mouth with just regular Peeps this Easter, Meghan Markle gets to eat flambéed Peeps off of Prince Hot Ginge’s piping hot naked body – Celebitchy

If you squint your eyes, you can almost see Abby Lee Miller crawling out from that red curtain to snatch Cheryl Burke’s weave – Reality Tea

Rita Ora is trying to give us sexyface, but she looks more like she’s sedated and is trying to stare at a fly on her nose – Hollywood Tuna 

Wonder Woman is in W Magazine Popoholic

If Brit Brit Spears was a dude on Grindr, she’d be the type with a headless torso profile picture – Drunken Stepfather 

Justin Theroux’s hair is looking a touch Pete Wentz-ey – Popsugar

Noted crazy Scientologist Jenna Elfman did a Reddit AMA and it went as well as you would think – OMG Blog

Carrie Fisher will not be in Star Wars: Episode IX after all – Just Jared

So I guess I shouldn’t retake the 12th grade again so that I can publicly ask Prince Hot Ginge to be my prom date? – Pajiba

Pic: @Disney

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