Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Because I know your eyelids were unable to fall into the sleep position from wondering what Katy Perry thinks of Duchess Meghan’s wedding dress, Katy gave her official review of the dress. She thinks Meghan needed one more fitting and likes Duchess Kate’s dress more. I’m with Katy, Duchess Meghan’s dress really needed a built-in bra that shot out whipped cream from the nipples area and then she would’ve definitely been at the top echelon of elegant royal brides – Just Jared

And during that hug (which probably didn’t happen) between Chelsy Davy and Duchess Meghan, I’m sure Chelsy whispered, “Bitch, I mean Duchess Bitch, when he’s fucking you, he’s thinking of this hot ass.” – Lainey Gossip

While Duchess Meghan’s wedding ensembles look like they were bought at Ann Taylor Loft for $189 and the J. Crew Outlet for $89, respectively, they supposedly cost hundreds of thousands of dollars – Celebitchy

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Night Crumbs

May 17, 2018 / Posted by:

Issa Rae, Kate McKinnon, Sarah Silverman, and a few extra limbs are on the cover of GQ’s Tribute To Photoshop Fuckery Issue. And Vanity Fair is probably looking at this issue like, “I don’t see the problem…” – Jezebel

Um, obviously St. Angie Jolie is in London, because while everyone is busy at the royal wedding, she’s going to appear in Prince Louis’ nursery and put a curse on him. She IS Maleficent – Lainey Gossip

That shameless Selena Jolie home wrecked poor miserable Jennifer Aniston’s marriage and stole her husband. It’s obviously true because Life & Style says so – Celebitchy

DUH – Reality Tea 

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Night Crumbs

May 16, 2018 / Posted by:

 

Gay porn star Rafael Alencar was asked which famous people he’s fucked and he’d only say the dead ones because they can’t sue him and he only used “disguised” names. Mommy Hilfinger, Malvin Klein and Matrick Swayze have all gotten a piece of Rafael, according to Rafael. I’m totally stealing that. Nobody has ever asked me if I’ve ever done anyone famous (because, duh, they know the answer to that), but if they do, I’m going to pull a Rafael Alencar and only say the dead ones since they’re not alive to tell everyone I’m lying out of my lying ass. You know, I’ll say Mames Dean, Mary Grant, Maul Newman, Malmolm M, Mesus, etc… etc..

And who’s going to tell Rafael that Mommy Hilfinger and Malvin Klein aren’t dead? I guess they will if they sue him – Towleroad

Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s newest girlfriend is thinking to herself, “If this motherfucker wasn’t Leonardo DiCatchAHo, I would’ve bailed as soon as I saw those rolled-up-to-capri-length jeans” – Lainey Gossip

FYI, Kate Winslet is now your grandmother – Celebitchy

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Night Crumbs

May 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Guess who worked the Cannes premiere of his movie with an electrocuted and mutilated Calico cat on his head? Hint: This might be the closest his head has come to pussy in a while – Just Jared

Taylor Swift’s boyfriend got honored at Cannes for taking the harrowing role of being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend. Yes, that’s why he was honored. Don’t try to tell me otherwise! – Lainey Gossip 

Ryan Reynolds and Josh Brolin tried to out-insult each other while promoting Deadpool 2. And strangely enough, Josh didn’t punch Ryan, which seems to be his instinct whenever he gets into a fight with someone – Towleroad

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Night Crumbs

May 14, 2018 / Posted by:

There’s a chance that George and Amal Clooney will go to the royal wedding. Great, so not only do I have to watch Prince Hot Ginge marry another, but I also have to take in the insufferable sight of Clooney making the same poopy face (see: above) he makes for every photographer while walking through the church. The royals really hate us – Lainey Gossip 

Miranda Lambert’s scorned ex must not have learned that you don’t hate the home wrecking legend, you hate the home wrecking game – Celebitchy

It’s fitting that two out of three of Teen Mom Janelle’s kids look like they’re thinking, “Who is this woman next to me?” – Reality Tea 

Whoever told Jim Parsons to break a leg is to blame for this! – Towleroad

If you forgot to give your mom some flowers on Mother’s Day, just print out this pic of the most exquisite tulip ever and put in a vase before handing it to her. She’ll never stop loving you for it – Drunken Stepfather

If your mom looks fresher and younger than you, then your name is probably Bella ThorneHollywood  Tuna

HELL is this I Feel Pretty showing where: 1) I Feel Pretty was showing. 2) Greta Gerwig was talking loudly all through it. 3) A lady was on her phone the whole time – Pajiba

Why is Amber Heard dressing like Pimp Mama Kris here? – Popoholic

This is not The Shape of Water reboot any of us deserve – SOW

Congratulations to Pete Wentz on his new baby, and congratulations on the future lawsuit from Disney for going with that name – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

May 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Amber Heard may or may not be boning Vito Schnabel. Vito’s exes are Demi Moore and Heidi Klum, so I guess he took a break from cougar hunting. Also, if a 9″ dick that always stays hard and shoots diamonds exists, it probably exists on Vito’s body – Lainey Gossip 

This reminds me, if Bravo wanted to do just one good thing for once, they’d bring back Ladies of LondonReality Tea 

Selma Blair does look like she maaay have a case of the farts, and I guess “Pull My Thumb” could work the same way that “Pull My Finger” does – Drunken Stepfather

Here I was thinking that Kevin Smith’s bromance with Ben Affleck died after he said shit about Jennifer Garner, but I guess he was waiting by the phone for Ben to call after a heart attack almost took him out – Celebitchy

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