Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

September 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Mandy Moore went to some event looking like the 80s humped her hair hard and yes, it’s a mess, but I will love it if she used Clairol Benders to create it. Because Clairol Benders really need to make a giant comeback. It’s time and everyone’s been waiting. Just ask my mom, I’m sure she’s been waiting for the moment when she gets to pull out her old Clairol Benders from the back of her bathroom cabinet   – Lainey Gossip 

Rita Ora modeled in her chonies for Vanity Fair and I think she’s trying to give us sexy face, but she looks more like she’s trying really hard to hold in a queef that doesn’t want to be held in – Drunken Stepfather

It’s really disturbing that Katie Price doesn’t have Harvey Price’s birthdate tattooed onto the inside of her eyelids so she’ll never forget! – Celebitchy

There’s now a baby in the world who gets to call Kim Richardsgrandma” – Reality Tea 

Ben Affleck is totally jacking off while Skyping with Tom BradyThe Superficial 

This is exactly what I want to do every time my phone crashes while trying to install the newest iOS – Towleroad

I actually like this Bella Hadid photo shoot and only because it looks like pictures found in the profile of a Russian dating site – Hollywood Tuna

Francesca Eastwood dyed her hair black and now looks like a come-to-life goth anime character – Popoholic

I see that St. Angie Jolie wants another OSCUH – Just Jared 

Zayn Malik got rid of his beard – Boy Culture

Panty Creamer of the Day: Chris Hemsworth busting out some power bottom moves – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

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Night Crumbs

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

RiRi presented her second collection for Puma in Paris and…..damn. I’d like to think that RiRi is majorly trolling and is cackling as idiots spend way too much money to look like Marie Antoinette if she was reincarnated as a 90s rapper who sells ecstasy on the side at raves. If RiRi is serious, then trick should really change up her usual weed strain – Lainey Gossip

Caroline Manzo is trying to be a soap mogul now – Reality Tea 

Justin Theroux’s dumbass has obviously never heard of shorts-wearing treasure Richard SimmonsCelebitchy

Kate Moss is in Dazed Magazine looking like the vampire madam of a brothel that specializes in S&M – Drunken Stepfather

Kate Hudson wants to do Brad PittThe Superficial  

Niall Horan, the one from One Direction who looks like Heat Miser’s blond son, has gone solo – Towleroad

Kim Kartrashian looks like she’s wearing a bootleg version of one of RiRi’s busted looks for Puma – Egotastic!

One good reason to get married: Tom Hanks may crash your wedding – Hollywood Tuna

I have no idea what Eva Green is wearing but I kind of like it – Popoholic

If you think it’s weird that the cast of Tim Burton’s movies are mostly white, then blame the little Asian and black kids on The Brady Bunch! It’s all THEIR fault! – Jezebel

Wonder Woman likes peen and poon, FYI – IDLYITW

Lady Gaga is 100% doing the Super Bowl halftime show and I will 100% be smoking a super super bowl to get through it – Popsugar

Johnny Depp has joined the cast of Kenneth Branagh’s remake of Murder on the Orient Express and well, at least his character dies right away  – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

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Night Crumbs

September 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift took her new Dollar Tree Ann Jillian hair to dinner with Cara Delawhatever last night, and as that was happening Kanye West was performing in Nashville where he did the song Famous three times as the audience shouted “Fuck Taylor Swift!” Taylor probably heard about it at dinner and then ordered the most expensive bottle of champagne to pre-celebrate her team of lawyers successfully suing Kanye for a percentage of his tour sales since he’s using her name to bring more attention to it – Lainey Gossip

Dr. Howard Dean isn’t backing down from his “cokehead” theory about Donald Trump. As much as I love him for that, he better watch it before the coke cartels sue him for slandering their product by insinuating that it makes you say the stupid kind of shit that Trump says – Celebitchy

Poor Pepe the FrogDrunken Stepfather

Amber Rose is getting paid $8 million to talk about fucking. Where did I go wrong in life? – Reality Tea 

Sabrina the Teenage Witch has joined Gary Johnson’s presidential campaign. Okay, but who is Salem endorsing?  – The Superficial

Semi-Panty Creamer of the Day: John Stamos and Chad from Scream Queens got oiled-up to do a shower scene together. This would’ve been a full Panty Creamer moment if there was at least some ass in it – Towleroad

But someone who did deliver some ass was that hot math teacher – OMG Blog

Joanna Krupa’s nipple knobs look like butterscotch drops in that tank top – The Nip Slip 

That Spider-Boy costume looks like it came from Party City – Popoholic

Shit, most Americans can’t pronounce Massachusetts – Hollywood Tuna

Today I learned two new things: 1. Jenna Elfman has a new show. 2. That new show is probably not going to last for long – SOW

Mickey Rourke challenged Usain Bolt to a race, and yeah, he probably lost hard, but I bet his glorious wig stayed on the entire time – Pajiba

Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump looks more like a duckface-making Papa JoeJust Jared

Oh, it’s all fun and fashion until your nipples come off with the tape – Egotastic! 

Scott Eastwood and Charlotte McKinney are still humping – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

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Night Crumbs

September 27, 2016 / Posted by:

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski had dinner at Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s NYC apartment last night. I’m sure that after Jen served everyone Aveeno lotion and Smart Water soup, they pranked Brad Pitt by sending him several cheese-less vegetable pizzas, which are a stoner’s nightmare, honestly – Lainey Gossip 

It looks like Charlize Theron gained some chunk for a Diablo Cody movie, and sadly it’s not a sequel to Young AdultCelebitchy

Oh, it’s just Mimi dancing to one of her songs in Mykonos while everyone around her pretty much ignores her since she does that all day, every day – Drunken Stepfather

Modern Family cast TV’s first openly transgender child actor – Towleroad

And here’s pictures of St. Lindsay visiting a family of Syrian refugees who have really been through e-fucking-nough – The Superficial 

ScarJo got into Hillary Clinton drag for a movie – Popoholic

My favorite Swedish gold digger is still living that opulent yacht life – Egotastic!

St. Dame Professor Angie is still going to teach at the London School of Economics – Jezebel

Samuel L. Jackson screamed at pussy – SOW

Papa Joe and Donald Trump must go to the same colorist – WWTDD

Kiefer Sutherland is glad that Julia Roberts dumped him – HuffPo

How do I get that hot piece and his kangaroo kid to adopt me into their family? – Hollywood Tuna 

Being on suspension is rough (see: Tom Brady naked sunbathing in Italy) – OMG Blog

Patton Oswalt talked about his late wife and I should really see a doctor, because while listening to him, my eyes twitched and a weird clear blood drop trickled down my cheek – Pajiba

The ex-husband of one of the Real Housewives of Miami died after possibly having a heart attack – Reality Tea 

Pic: Splash

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Night Crumbs

September 26, 2016 / Posted by:

The trailer for King Cobra, based on the real-life murder of a gay porn producer, is out and I actually found myself saying, “I really want to put my eyeballs on this,” about a James Franco movie. It has everything: Gay porn! Man nipples! Sweaty asses! Molly Ringwald! – Towleroad

I wonder if Leonardo DiCatchAHo is going to make President Obama an honorary member of the Pussy Posse when they meet? – Lainey Gossip

The Nirvana baby once again recreated the “Nevermind” album cover (sans penis) – Celebitchy

Dear Miley Cyrus, can you please just keep stepping to your left until you’re out of the frame so that I can fully take in Billy Idol’s seasoned peroxide and charbroiled skin hotness – The Superficial 

The trailer for the new season of Vanderpump Rules is here and it should really be certified organic because it’s all just so real – Reality Tea 

Romance IS getting married by Lil Wayne under toilet paper decorations in prison – OMG Blog

Katharine McPhee is in a bikini – Popoholic

Ashley Graham is in a bikini made with her own arm and hand – Egotastic!

Magazines are still trying to make Hailey Baldwin happen – Drunken Stepfather

And yet, I’d still rather watch this bumbling ass  magician than Criss Angel – Hollywood Tuna

I hate 7th Heaven, but I love Catherine Hicks now – Jezebel

A strange thing happened the other day, Ashley Olsen went out into the sun and didn’t melt. The vampire gnomes are evolving! – WWTDD

The Kiss Cam landed on Amy Schumer and she did exactly what you would think she’d do – SOW

Hilary Duff  sort of “confirmed” that she’s doing her trainer full-time – Popsugar

What in craft project gone wrong HELL is Brit Brit Spears wearing? – IDLYITW

Pics of Owen Wilson’s nipples? Sure, I’ll take ’em! – Just Jared

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Night Crumbs

September 23, 2016 / Posted by:

If you’re mega pregnant and always got to keep it comfortable since the rude bitches on the subway won’t give you their seat, take a tip from Olivia Wilde: Go down to your local restaurant supply store, throw two red tablecloths over your body and call it good – Lainey Gossip

Some people stay together for the sake of the kids, Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander apparently stay together for the sake of their Oscar-bait movie – Celebitchy

Ariel Winter’s ass has its own makeup artist, but then again, don’t all of our asses? – Drunken Stepfather

This makes sense since God does have really good taste in music and art – The Superficial 

Are we sure that the suspicious package left near Bethenny Frankel’s apartment wasn’t just a box of Skinny Girl crap, because that shit is definitely toxic and a threat to humanity – Reality Tea

Daniel Radcliffe says that Hollywood is still your old ass, homophobic and racist uncle  – Towleroad

I doubt that even Bill Hader can save the Power Rangers movie – OMG Blog

PleaseLetThereBeNakedPicsOfPrinceHotGingeInThere – Popsugar

Cara Delawhatever did a shoot for Puma – Hollywood Tuna 

Shailene Woodley’s hair is probably wet because she just got done dancing in the rain under the moonlight while chanting a chant to the celestial goddesses – Popoholic

If you don’t give a shit about Caitlyn Jenner’s political beliefs, then you really won’t give a shit about Kim Kartrashian saying she may vote for Jabba the TrumpJust Jared

Pic: Splash

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