Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

April 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Damn that sneaky bitch Conan O’Brien. Thanks to a little skit on his show, everyone who Googles “Zac Efron putting his leaky peen on a ginger’s face” is going to be really disappointed and will have to pull up their chonies and keep searching – The Superficial 

Emma Stone as Billie Jean King looks more like somebody’s mother circa 1970s going to her weekend job at Hot Dog On A Stick, but I’m still into it – Lainey Gossip

Tobey Maguire is the new Ben Affleck, so says Star Magazine – Celebitchy

What in 90s tragedy HELL is Bella Hadid wearing? – Drunken Stepfather

A warrant was issued for Kim Richards after she skipped out on a few AA meetings. But even though her rep showed up in court and pretty much confirmed that she’s been skipping out on AA meetings, the warrant was pulled. Oh, that L.A. justice system – Reality Tea 

So I guess Amanda Peet really wanted to play Lara Croft? – Pajiba

Not even Brit Brit Spears would fap to this – Towleroad

The Porn Iguana continues to prove that she’s one of the greatest performance artistes of this generation – Jezebel

“I feel like I’m an inspiration for a lot of young girls…” is a sentence that actually came out of Kylie Jenner’s obese rubber worm lips – IDLYITW

And here’s Taylor Swift wearing coochie cutters… – Popoholic

Who cares about Lemonade! Kelly Rowland has some Claritin to peddle – OMG Blog

A PUPPEH!!!! (Oh yeah, and Bella Thorne is in the picture too) – Hollywood Tuna

FYI: Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t touched a peen in a while – HuffPo

The answer is: all of them are sex toys! – The Berry  

Superhead fucked Jay-Z once – Just jared

“Damn, I said stick it in slow...” – Zac Efron in that picture – Popsugar

People are selling rain water from the day Prince died on eBay, because why not? – SOW

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Night Crumbs

April 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Jake Gyllenhaal shaved off his beard to play Boston bombing survivor Jeff Gauman and yeah, he looks younger in the face, but I’m more into that mop on his head. Jake should always keep at least one box of Ogilvie home perm in his bathroom cabinet, because that body wave and those curling iron bangs have given him his hottest look yet! – Lainey Gossip 

Republican sweetheart Caitlyn Jenner took Donald Trump up on his offer to piss in the ladies bathroom at Trump Tower – Celebitchy

Pamela Anderson filmed her cameo for the Baywatch movie, and sadly it doesn’t seem like she slipped into her old red bathing suit to show those young hos how it’s really done – Drunken Stepfather

Jessica Simpson can’t even spell “Budget,” but she’s doing commercials for them now – The Superficial 

Speaking of tricks getting richer, Steven Spielberg got richer – The Berry 

Brandi Glanville and that Road Rules dude are done, and she says she went out with her Uber driver. And by “went out” I’m sure she meant she fucked him quick in the backseat  – Reality Tea 

What a delicious and beautiful cock ring – Egotastic!

Thor does go topless (sort of) in the new Ghostbusters movie, after all – Towleroad

Jenna Dewan’s top probably cost $1,200, but someone should tell her that she can probably haggle herself one just like it for $10 in Tijuana   – Popoholic

Mads Mikkelsen plays a daddy in Star Wars: Rogue OnePajiba

Okay, so here’s Zac Efron getting butt fucked by a bottle and a zombie dog – OMG Blog

Why does this Bella Thorne Snapchat picture look like the start of a gang bang porn? – Hollywood Tuna 

Sara Ramirez is probably done with Grey’s AnatomyJust Jared

Prince may have died from a drug overdose and investigators are now looking into it – HuffPo

And onto some happy news, here’s Skippy the naked lamb modeling a hot wool cape –  SOW

Pimp Mama Kris shat on her main hos in a scene from their shit show that is so natural and totally not scripted – Popsugar

Pic: FameFlynet

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Night Crumbs

April 27, 2016 / Posted by:

The Florence Foster Jenkins was a little on the “meh” side for my ass,  but Meryl Streep will still get 5,4782,987 award nominations for it, and I hope whoever drew on those stunning chicken scratch brows gets a million nominations too – Lainey Gossip

Anne Hathaway is 100% theater kid in everything her ass does, even when she worships BeyonceCelebitchy

John Stamos licked Dave Coulier’s peen once, sort of! Yes, I’m reaching…. for the lube – The Superficial 

Bella Thorne went topless in some kind of Blair Witch Snapchat – Drunken Stepfather

Most of The Real LymeTruthers Of Beverly Hills are probably coming back next season – Reality Tea 

Things That Will Soon Exist: An Exorcist ride at Universal Studios – Egotastic! 

Chicken Cutlets goes full demure by giving the paparazzi a giant taste of her crotch lips – WWTDD

FYI: Padma Lakshmi went out last night and she left her bra at home – The Nip Slip 

Thor showed up in some lady’s cubicle at work, and that’s hot and everything, but all I could do was think about how she really needs to clean that shit up – Towleroad

Please, Kim Kartrashian wishes she was as talented as this trick – Hollywood Tuna 

Wet Hot American Summer will be back – Jezebel

Okay, but why is Rachel Bilson wearing Tootsie’s top? – Popoholic

About pic #1, I wish I had a love like that –  The Berry 

Rebecca Romijn had it right the first time! – Just Jared

Emma from Glee is knocked up – SOW

Panty Creamer of the Day: A topless and wet Thor – Popsugar

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April 26, 2016 / Posted by:

Amy Schumer shows us what happens when you let Prince Hot Ginge stick the tip in – The Superficial 

That Mary Poppins sequel starring Emily Blunt is really, really happening and Lin-Manuel Miranda has been confirmed as one of her co-stars. There must be a cloud of black smoke above of Anne Hathaway’s house, because she has to be seething over the fact that she’s not in the Mary Poppins sequel and the current toast of Broadway is going to be in it – Lainey Gossip 

A Maleficent sequel doesn’t need to exist, but Disney executives always need more money, so it’s happening – Celebitchy

If LeAnn Rimes wears a bikini and the paparazzi don’t take pictures of her in it, did LeAnn Rimes wear a bikini at all? – Drunken Stepfather

Kandi Burruss didn’t take diet pills to lose some of the pregnancy chunk, okay? – Reality Tea 

Billy Dee Williams and Colt 45: Together again, at last! – Egotastic! 

This is not the documentary about a Weiner I wanted – Towleroad

Millionaire celebrities are just like your abuelita: they bring home discarded trash they find on the curb – WWTDD

Two things: 1. That’s a great disguise Lindsay Lohan is wearing. 2. Lindsay Lohan is getting bolder – Hollywood Tuna 

Is Shay Mitchell wearing shit from the Kartrashians’ failed fashion line for Sears? – Popoholic

This is one of the weirdest porns I’ve ever seen – OMG Blog 

Used condom full of smegma Piers Morgan and Matt “Hot Tits” McGorry got into it over LemonadePajiba

Doogie Howser as Count Olaf… Would you hit it? – HuffPo

Panty Creamer of the Day: A hot, bearded ginger woodsman giving you coy pin-up – The Berry  

Jordan Peele and Chelsea Peretti got married – Just Jared

Chyna’s manager says her friends were just about to stage an intervention, and of course, cameras were going to be involved – Starcasm

Pic: Vanity Fair 

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April 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Because of these pap pictures, a rumor that Diane Kruger is knocked up was born. She’s probably not growing a baby in her body, but if she is, that fetus is having a good old time getting drunk on tequila. But who cares about that! Let’s get into Joshua Jackson looking like the kind of smelly dirt bag whose got crap underneath his finger nails, uses his spit as lube and will guzzle down a Natty Ice while hitting it from the back. I’ve never been more attracted to Pacey in my life! – Lainey Gossip

Kenya Moore should drink some of that shower water since she’s obviously thirsty as hell – Reality Tea

Speaking of thirsty bitches, Dean McDermott re-proposed to Tori Spelling with a ring they supposedly can’t afford during a trip to Paris they supposedly can’t afford either. On another note, HER FACE! – Celebitchy

These staged bikini pictures of a pregnant Megan Fox lack the naturalness and organic charisma of her last staged bikini photo shoot – Drunken Stepfather

I think that Prince turned down The Fifth Element because he didn’t want to wear a costume that made it look like he was shitting out a Muppet head. That would ruin his sexy – The Superficial  

Jennifer Hudson and Harvey Fierstein are doing Hairspray Live!Jezebel

In my mind, Phoebe Price is preparing for the reboot of A League Of Their Own WWTDD

Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato pulled out of North Carolina too – Towleroad

Be still my heart, I think I’ve fallen in love with another natural rose from England! – Hollywood Tuna 

Kate Beckinsale’s top says, “bedtime,” her skirt says, “Dancing with the Has-Beens rehearsal,” and her shoes say, “my tia at the club” – Popoholic

I feel like I type these words every other week: Jessica Alba is in a bikini again – The Nip Slip 

Saturday Night Live thinks they can make Saturday Night Live better by getting rid of some commercial breaks – Pajiba

Kelly Clarkson’s baby looks like this – HuffPo

Jaden Smith is serving up a dash of Michael Jackson, a tablespoon of Fresh Prince and 10 cups of UGH – Just Jared 

Kevin Jonas put his peen in Danielle Jonas for a second time and by “put his peen in Danielle Jonas” I mean jacked into a plastic cup – Popsugar

This dog is my nightmare dog – The Berry 

Pic: FameFlynet

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Night Crumbs

April 22, 2016 / Posted by:

If you’ve been trying to figure out what the formula for “gentility” is, try no more. Mimi has given it to you. The formula is lollipop + Las Vegas cocktail waitress tights + an exposed nipple pad! – Lainey Gossip 

Sheree Whitfield, who has never really finished anything, is going to try to write and finish a book. I’ll believe it when I see it covered in dust on a shelf at Target – Reality Tea 

Margot Robbie’s Dirty Dancing lift gets an F from me – Drunken Stepfather

Let me guess, LeAnn Rimes’ friends are named Captain Obvious, Sergeant Duh and Lieutenant You Don’t Say? – Celebitchy

Ben Affleck and his vape pen: a love story – The Superficial 

2 demure 2 handle – WWTDD

Today in YES: Lisa Marie Presley is coming for those Scientology bitches – Pajiba

I have to disagree with Wolf Blitzer. The Prince song most of know is When Pigeons Cry. Or maybe even Raspberry FedoraSOW

Why in the hell is Kate Bosworth wearing a giant studded black maxi-pad as a top? – Popoholic

This is how Jennifer Hudson and the cast of  The Color Purple on Broadway paid tribute to Prince – Just Jared 

And this is how the cast of Hamilton paid tribute to Prince – Popsugar

Xtina is giving me chola Rosie the Riveter hotness – Hollywood Tuna 

I see that the producers of that Baywatch movie finally stuffed a big enough wad of cash between Pamela Anderson’s chichis to get her to come back – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

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April 21, 2016 / Posted by:

Robert Downey Jr. will be in the new Spider-Man reboot, and thank every lord and god for that. I was about to send $10 to him, because I’ve been worried about how he’s going to pay his bills. I mean, he only has one Marvel movie coming out this year. Bitch was probably close to going broke! – Lainey Gossip

That dragon lady chick from Game of Thrones is giving you “bored in a motel room” glamour for Vogue AustraliaDrunken Stepfather 

The trailer for the new Jason Bourne movie looks like a trailer for a new series on the USA Network – Celebitchy

I agree with Donald Trump about something. Now excuse me while I go lie down in a field somewhere and patiently wait for the ground to eat me whole – The Superficial 

I see that Rob Kartrashianborrowed” his mommy’s credit card again – Reality Tea

Mona Lisa was a drag queen, or something – Towleroad

Emily RideAJetSki went to Jessica Biel’s fancy kid restaurant – Hollywood Tuna  

Why it’s not a good idea to get a trillion nose jobs – Starcasm

Kelly Sears Roebuck has got a murph, and yes, I used the word “murph” in the year 2016 – Popoholic

It truly is the end of days. The Victoria’s Secret catalog is done – Jezebel

Brit Brit Spears’ dog either ate one of her Cheetos or she was celebrating 420 – OMG Blog

Susan Sarandon thinks that the Independence Day 2 script is trash – HuffPo

I wish I was as stoned as this beauty in a local commercial from the 1970s – Boy Culture 

I wish I was as stoned as these baby sloths – SOW

Kimmy Gibbler better be waiting in the wings… – Just Jared

Why am I staring at  Benjamin McKenzie’s peen area? – Popsugar

Those ducks are snobs! – The Berry 

Pic: Splash

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April 20, 2016 / Posted by:

To commemorate THE QUEEN’S 90th birthday, she and the future kings of England posed for a picture that will be turned into a collection of stamps. Never mind that tragic thrown-together thing Prince George is standing on, I love the smile he’s making. It obviously says, “Dear Morrissey, keep hating while I pose for stamps, peasant!”Lainey Gossip 

And here’s another portrait of THE QUEEN with all of her great-grandchild and her soulmate (aka her pocketbook) – Popsugar

The trailer for Gone Girl Takes A Train Ride is out – Celebitchy

Another day, another interview where James Franco says he’s got a little gay in him. And no, he doesn’t mean that he’s bottomed for a gay little person before. I think… – The Superficial 

Are those pussy willows, Chelsea Handler? – Drunken Stepfather

Some shit rod from the Real Housewives of New Jersey was arrested for felony domestic violence – Reality Tea 

Either those are nipple pads or Bella Thorne’s got puff nips – The Nip Slip 

In news that made me wet fart up sequins: A Cher musical may be going to Broadway – Towleroad

The Slow One is trying it again – IDLYITW

This is how a blind person cooks when no one’s around – Hollywood Tuna 

They’re still shooting the Baywatch movie – Popoholic

We won’t get to see Kelly Ripa awkwardly try to control herself from slapping Michael Strahan on camera until at least Tuesday – HuffPo

Wait, Rob Schneider’s spawn sings that Ex’s & Oh’s song? –  Pajiba

In “famous (and sort of famous) tricks are still naming their kids Reign” news, Nick Carter named his kid “Odin Reign,” which sounds like the name of a viking-themed body splash – Starcasm

Rob Lowe is probably working out right now – Just Jared

Four words: Shirtless firefighters with puppies – The Berry 

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April 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Suri Cruise turned 10 years old in NYC yesterday while Tommy Cruise was off in London filming something. Tommy has reportedly not seen Suri in a while, but I’m sure her sent her a loving text message that read, “Happy human birthday, you adorable little SP, you!” – Lainey Gossip 

Bella Hadid looks like a soulless deer caught in the headlights in W Korea – The Nip Slip 

Let The Porn Iguana twerk a serving of reptile elegance into your eyes – Drunken Stepfather

I miss the time (5 seconds ago) when I was pure and innocent and didn’t read Subway Jared’s disgusting tweets – The Superficial 

Stana Katic checked out of Castle because she hates Nathan Fillion and his diva ways, allegedly – Celebitchy

The lady with the Fix-A-Flat face is going to be on Botched next season – Reality Tea 

The Hoff wants his ex to stop hassling The Hoff for $21,000 a month – IDLYITW

Erika Jayne giving you Baby Spice as possessed by the spirit of one of Nicki Minaj’s wigs – Jezebel

La’Porsha Renae is still backpedalling like the rent was due last week and she needs those pink dollars bad – Towleroad

Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa looks more like an alien Poison Ivy. I kind of want to wrap her in rolling papers and smoke her up – Pajiba

Haven’t we all been that clumsy ball boy before? – Hollywood Tuna 

Chrissy Teigen’s newborn baby looks like a newborn baby – Popsugar

Jessica Biel looks like she’s wearing the adult version of a toddler’s Easter jacket from the 60s – Popoholic

Jon Snow’s nalgas look like this – OMG Blog 

This lemur is way too high maintenance – The Berry 

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April 18, 2016 / Posted by:

The reincarnation of Van Gogh and this generation’s great artiste James Franco is on the cover of New York magazine’s art issue wearing the nerve-saving contraption that you wear whenever he opens up his mouth to speak – Lainey Gossip 

And here’s your daily dose of random: Yolanda Foster is probably telling people that Michael Jackson died on her bed – Reality Tea 

RIP Louis Vuitton and Coachella – Celebitchy

That big-titted blond model who isn’t Kate Upton is in the Baywatch movie – Drunken Stepfather

One of Khlozilla’s ass bags needs to be re-inflated and rotated – The Superficial 

Julia Roberts should’ve kept that busted Dollar General Anna Wintour wig in her attic where it belongs – Jezebel

Did Julia Roberts let Serena Williams borrow her old wig for that He-Man costume? – OMG Blog

Both Pearl Jam and Boston join The Boss in boycotting North Carolina because of their anti-LGBT law – Towleroad

Here’s Jessica Biel giving you bland in a flour sack – Popoholic

Bella Thorne just needs a Native American headdress and she’d look like every shitty Coachella trend barfed all over her – Hollywood Tuna 

David Silver is doing things to me in these pictures and I don’t know how to feel about that. I’ve always been a Dylan or Steve kind of ho – IDLYITW

ABC should probably just bulldoze Castle already – Pajiba

Try not to turn inside/out from shock, but Kanye Kardashian lied about something – HuffPo

Taylor Swift made another Apple commercial – SOW

Panty Creamer of the Day: A shirtless Zack MorrisJust Jared

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom look like two walking and breathing swatch books from Calico Corners – Popsugar

Let’s end this gross Tax Day with a mini donkey in a hammock – The Berry  

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