About a week ago, the worst damage Nicki Minaj’s house had to watch out for was the possibility that she might turn a corner too hard and take out a load-bearing beam with her plumber’s putty ass. Something much worse happened earlier this week. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that while Nicki was away playing nice with Drake, her Los Angeles home was broke into and $200,000 worth of jewels and property were stolen. There were also multiple signs of forced entry around the house.
It sounds like the Tasmanian Devil might want to have an alibi ready, because TMZ says that Nicki’s house was torn up. The burglar or burglars knocked over items and flipped furniture all around the house. Other sources tell TMZ that the burglars also destroyed picture frames and perfume bottles, and cut up Nicki’s clothes. The sources seem to think this robbery was personal. Cutting up clothes is evil. But in this case, I’d say that burglar did Nicki a favor.
As for how the burglars knew Nicki had a house full of expensive things, well…she wasn’t exactly hiding it. Just like Kim Kardashian, Nicki Minaj is also guilty of shamelessly showing off her jewels on social media.
Police are reportedly looking at security camera footage from Nicki’s house. They currently don’t have any suspects. No word on whether or not Nicki’s engagement-style ring from Meek Mill was taken in the robbery. But I have a feeling it will be pretty easy to figure out who was behind it if a commercial landlord in Philadelphia reports that some guy tried to cover a tenant’s rent with a giant yellow diamond.
Back in April of 2016, Drake confessed during an interview with Apple Radio that his friendship with Nicki Minaj was a thing of the past. Drake had gotten into a stupid fight with Nicki’s then-boyfriend Meek Mill the year before. Nicki clearly chose sides, which meant pushing Jimmy’s wheelchair out of her life. Earlier this month Nicki decided she was done with Meek Mill. It also looks like she also decided to dump whatever hate she had for Drake.
Nicki Minaj announced on Twitter yesterday that the rumors about her being done with Meek Mill are true. Not surprisingly, one of the leeches from Nicki’s past is trying to slither back into her life. TMZ says that Safaree Samuels, who Nicki dated for over a decade, is holding out hope that she will show up on his doorstep and beg to rekindle their love.
Two weeks ago we found out that Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill’s relationship of two years was pretty much done. Meek Mill had allegedly started seeing a boutique owner in Philadelphia, and Nicki was Instagramming vague shit about deserving better and dodging bullets. Neither said whether they were actually split up, but why would they? You don’t get as much attention that way, and those two love getting attention. Two weeks later, and Nicki Minaj is finally ready to confirm what we already sort of knew had happened.
To confirm, yes I am single. Focusing on my work & looking forward to sharing it with you guys really soon. Have a blessed New Year. Love u🎀
— NICKI MINAJ (@NICKIMINAJ) January 5, 2017
Meek Mill hasn’t said anything in response to Nicki’s tweet, but that could be because he’s too busy packing up a U-Haul while Nicki’s assistants make sure his movers don’t track dirt on the carpet of their rental. That, or he’s on a social media hiatus while he pledges The Society of Nicki’s Bitter Exes.
But the real question here is…who got custody of the gaudy jewelry?!? Meek Mill has given Nicki at least two giant diamond engagement-style rings. I think the social custom is that Nicki gets to keep them, but it might be nice if she gave them back to Meek Mill. He might need something to sell for quick cash in the event people were right and he really was only successful because he was doing Nicki Minaj. I could totally see his mortal enemy Drake pulling a shady move by offering to buy one of them. After all, it’s only a matter of time before Drake’s publicist gives him the go-ahead to start working the pretend engagement ring angle.
Nicki Minaj might be officially done with Meek Mill. According to Bossip, Meek might have been cheating on her with a boutique owner from Philadelphia for about a year. Nicki probably discovered what was up one day when Meek Mill came back from a trip smelling of cheese steaks and cooch.
Neither Nicki nor Meek has said that they’re over. But their Instagram activity could be a clue. For example, Meek has been posting pictures of asses that don’t belong to Nicki. Meek Mill recently posted (then later deleted) a picture of his alleged lady’s body stocking-wrapped butt on Instagram. Nicki, meanwhile, has been posting motivational shit about people taking you for granted, and cryptic descriptions of shower shoes that probably aren’t actually about the shoes.
If that shady shoe message really was meant for Meek, then I can’t wait to see what kind of visial puns she pulls out to slap back at Azealia Banks. I bet she’s picking out the perfect half-dead azalea plant at Home Depot as we speak.
Bossip claims that Meek Mill didn’t only slip cheater dick into his Philly side piece. He also allegedly gave her money for her boutique. Uh oh. You should never get money involved. I watch daytime TV, I know how this ends. It ends with Meek Mill and Philly boutique lady arguing over whether the money was a gift or a loan while Judge Judy rolls her eyes to Byrd.
And I’ll pause as you mock Nicki Minaj with your eyes for wearing that low-rent goth stripper mess in public on a day that wasn’t October 31st.
Nicki Minaj decided that it would be a grand idea to puta (I meant to write “put a,” but I’ll just keep it like that) video on Instagram of her laughing in between talking to a stranger lady who may have a mental illness. TMZ says that the lady who Nicki recorded is known in South Beach and people say she suffers from a mental illness. As Nicki sat in her chariot in Miami, the lady shouted something in her direction and she tried to get the woman’s attention. The lady then did what most people when do when Nicki’s song Stupid Hoe starts playing near them: she walked the other way. But Nicki kept trying to beckon the woman over, and only stopped to greet one of her loyal subjects.
Some of Nicki’s followers wondered if the melted plastic in her ass got into her bloodstream and traveled up to her brains, because they didn’t know why she thought it was a good idea to post this. Others defended her by saying that she may have been trying to give the lady money.
The Miami chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness is doing the opposite of that cry-laughing emoji. They told TMZ that it wasn’t not funny.
“Nobody would make fun of a cancer patient, and mental illness is an illness like any other.”
“Nobody would make fun of a cancer patient…” Nicki probably took that as a challenge and will next post a video of her making fun of a cancer patient. Anything to make people forget that she supported her alleged child rapist brother, I guess.