Nicki Minaj announced on Twitter yesterday that the rumors about her being done with Meek Mill are true. Not surprisingly, one of the leeches from Nicki’s past is trying to slither back into her life. TMZ says that Safaree Samuels, who Nicki dated for over a decade, is holding out hope that she will show up on his doorstep and beg to rekindle their love.
Two weeks ago we found out that Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill’s relationship of two years was pretty much done. Meek Mill had allegedly started seeing a boutique owner in Philadelphia, and Nicki was Instagramming vague shit about deserving better and dodging bullets. Neither said whether they were actually split up, but why would they? You don’t get as much attention that way, and those two love getting attention. Two weeks later, and Nicki Minaj is finally ready to confirm what we already sort of knew had happened.
To confirm, yes I am single. Focusing on my work & looking forward to sharing it with you guys really soon. Have a blessed New Year. Love u🎀
— NICKI MINAJ (@NICKIMINAJ) January 5, 2017
Meek Mill hasn’t said anything in response to Nicki’s tweet, but that could be because he’s too busy packing up a U-Haul while Nicki’s assistants make sure his movers don’t track dirt on the carpet of their rental. That, or he’s on a social media hiatus while he pledges The Society of Nicki’s Bitter Exes.
But the real question here is…who got custody of the gaudy jewelry?!? Meek Mill has given Nicki at least two giant diamond engagement-style rings. I think the social custom is that Nicki gets to keep them, but it might be nice if she gave them back to Meek Mill. He might need something to sell for quick cash in the event people were right and he really was only successful because he was doing Nicki Minaj. I could totally see his mortal enemy Drake pulling a shady move by offering to buy one of them. After all, it’s only a matter of time before Drake’s publicist gives him the go-ahead to start working the pretend engagement ring angle.
Nicki Minaj might be officially done with Meek Mill. According to Bossip, Meek might have been cheating on her with a boutique owner from Philadelphia for about a year. Nicki probably discovered what was up one day when Meek Mill came back from a trip smelling of cheese steaks and cooch.
Neither Nicki nor Meek has said that they’re over. But their Instagram activity could be a clue. For example, Meek has been posting pictures of asses that don’t belong to Nicki. Meek Mill recently posted (then later deleted) a picture of his alleged lady’s body stocking-wrapped butt on Instagram. Nicki, meanwhile, has been posting motivational shit about people taking you for granted, and cryptic descriptions of shower shoes that probably aren’t actually about the shoes.
If that shady shoe message really was meant for Meek, then I can’t wait to see what kind of visial puns she pulls out to slap back at Azealia Banks. I bet she’s picking out the perfect half-dead azalea plant at Home Depot as we speak.
Bossip claims that Meek Mill didn’t only slip cheater dick into his Philly side piece. He also allegedly gave her money for her boutique. Uh oh. You should never get money involved. I watch daytime TV, I know how this ends. It ends with Meek Mill and Philly boutique lady arguing over whether the money was a gift or a loan while Judge Judy rolls her eyes to Byrd.
And I’ll pause as you mock Nicki Minaj with your eyes for wearing that low-rent goth stripper mess in public on a day that wasn’t October 31st.
Nicki Minaj decided that it would be a grand idea to puta (I meant to write “put a,” but I’ll just keep it like that) video on Instagram of her laughing in between talking to a stranger lady who may have a mental illness. TMZ says that the lady who Nicki recorded is known in South Beach and people say she suffers from a mental illness. As Nicki sat in her chariot in Miami, the lady shouted something in her direction and she tried to get the woman’s attention. The lady then did what most people when do when Nicki’s song Stupid Hoe starts playing near them: she walked the other way. But Nicki kept trying to beckon the woman over, and only stopped to greet one of her loyal subjects.
Some of Nicki’s followers wondered if the melted plastic in her ass got into her bloodstream and traveled up to her brains, because they didn’t know why she thought it was a good idea to post this. Others defended her by saying that she may have been trying to give the lady money.
The Miami chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness is doing the opposite of that cry-laughing emoji. They told TMZ that it wasn’t not funny.
“Nobody would make fun of a cancer patient, and mental illness is an illness like any other.”
“Nobody would make fun of a cancer patient…” Nicki probably took that as a challenge and will next post a video of her making fun of a cancer patient. Anything to make people forget that she supported her alleged child rapist brother, I guess.
It’s no secret that Nicki Minaj isn’t afraid to raise her hand and loudly say “Um, EXCUSE ME!” when she sees something that sets her off. Like calling out ass acceptability standards, or time the MTV VMAs gave Taylor Swift more nominations than her. Now she’s letting everyone know how she feels about Kanye West marrying the metaphorical “white girl” from his 2005 song Gold Digger. Not surprisingly, Nicki’s not having it.
I know it’s redundant of me to even ask, because we all know that Sue Ellen Mischke from Seinfeld has, is, and forever will always work the bra-under-a-blazer look the best. But Amber Rose is coming in a very close second. We all know that Amber Rose has a habit of bringing ten tons of jaw-dropping eleganza to the MTV VMAs. Sometimes she goes straight-up stripper, other times she keeps it a little more demure. This year she went tasteful and sophisticated with just a hint of “Oh, these?”