Shrieky comedian Kevin Hart was dropped out as the 2019 Oscar host because he refused to apologize for some homophobic tweets from his past that came back up (not to mention how he refused to say he was wrong for his son’s cowboys and Indians-themed birthday party). The Academy told Kevin to acknowledge and apologize for the tweets or get the fuck out. Kevin refused, saying he had already addressed the tweets in the past. So Kevin got the fuck out, and then apologized. Maybe he didn’t want to jeopardize a future Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards hosting gig. Kevin’s friend, the extra extra extra Nick Cannon, came to his defense by posting past tweets from several well-known female comedians that used the f-bomb and subtly suggested that Hollywood is full of hypocrisy. Well, DUH.
Well color me 50 shades of shocked. Kanye West showed the world he doesn’t know how to make an Instagram Live video the other day by posting an 400-part video chiding a laundry list of lads who he had beef with. There was Tyson Beckford for body-shaming Kim Kardashian. There was Drake for making a song that implied he had boned Kim on the sly. And there was Nick Cannon who totally shocked us all by saying the Kim we see today maybe just maaaaaybe is a tad surgically enhanced from the version he used to date. Surprisingly, Yeezy and Nick buried the hatchet over the weekend. Continue reading
The other day Kanye West took to Instagram to post multiple videos where he called out several people, including Canadian condom-hater, Drake, and accused-homosexual Tyson Beckford. Also on his hit-list was former Mariah Carey sugar-baby, Nick Cannon. Nick finally saw the videos Kanye posted and he has responded with some vlogs of his own. Continue reading
While saying slavery was a choice and expressing the desire to bone your wife’s sisters might be A-OK in Kanye West’s book, other dudes talking about boning his wife ain’t Kosher at all! In what appears to be an audition to be America’s Next Top Vlogger, Kanye goes off on the guys who talk about having sex or implying they sex with Kim Kardashian. While that could honestly be a Declaration of Independence-length list of names, he particularly called out Nick Cannon, Drake, and Tyson Beckford.
In other words, Nick Cannon has never looked hotter.
The 2018 Teen Choice Awards (known to us olds as The Annual Who’s Who Of Who Are These Fucking Children Gala) went down in L.A. yesterday, and as always, the dress code was “the fucked-up the better,” because teens always look a mess. Nick Cannon’s fashion philosophy is always, “If people’s brains don’t collapse into a puddle of WTF while looking at your outfit, you’re doing it wrong,” so he didn’t disappoint yesterday.
Nick brought his nipples out for the teens in a look that is what Bootsy Collins would put together if Bootsy Collins time-traveled back to the 90s and got a gig as one of Rico Suave’s back-up dancers. If you got a drop of Charlie Sheen’s blood during his coked-up tiger blood years and looked at it under a microscope, this is the hot-blooded neon foolery that would be looking right back at you. If Lisa Frank got into her ex-husband’s coke stash before designing the Olympic uniforms, this is what all the athletes would be wearing. What I’m saying is that Lisa Frank should definitely design the Olympic uniforms.
Nick Cannon is splattering our eyeballs with a lot of look and there’s really no calm place for your eyeballs to land, and yet my dick-hungry eyes are focused on the crotch area while lsearching for any sign of a peen print. “Does that blue tiger in the middle’s tongue look circumcised or not?” is a question I’ve actually asked myself today.
In “this has happened before and it will happen again and again and again and again” news, Azealia Banks is fighting with someone, but this time a taste of her own medicine has left her so sad that she’s canceled her new album.