Brad Pitt is going to be spending a lot more time with his children now that a judge (who I’m guessing has since been swallowed up by Hell for fucking with St. Angie Jolie) ordered St. Angie to stop keeping their kids from him. But sadly, the child army isn’t going to get laughs from watching daddy’s brain slowly melt out of his ear holes as his architect/MIT professor girlfriend Neri Oxman says hard words like “chair” and “table” while talking about architecture. Because Page Six says that Brad has lost out on his very own Amal Clooney. Neri has decided to stick with her hedge fund billionaire boyfriend.
Brad Pitt may be Brad Pitt, but he’s also got six kids and is in the middle of a chunky shit storm of a divorce fight with a controlling ex. Listening to your boyfriend scream at his ex over the phone as the child army covers you with shaving cream and toilet paper as a joke < sucking on champagne-covered diamonds out of a crystal flute on a private jet to some island you’ve never heard of as your billionaire boyfriend makes big money deals on the phone. That bitch Brad didn’t stand a chance.
Though there has been no real confirmation that William Bradley Pitt and Neri Oxman are officially dating, a source swears to Us Weekly the they talk on the phone “several times a day”. If that’s the case, and they’re not boinking, then what the hell are they doing? The only other explanation I can think of is that she tried to explain to him what a Qwark is and Brad keeps calling her back with follow up questions like “Neri, it’s me again. So I was at Whole Foods and they had Qwark next to the yogurt! How does that work? Are cows made out of stars?”. Dear, sweet, William.
There seems to be no end to the reports about Brad Pitt and his new possible lady friend, MIT professor Neri Oxman. The general consensus seems to be that Brad and Neri are in the bacteria stages of a possible relationship, which in this case is Brad bashfully asking Neri if he can carry her books for her after class. It’s all very “just friends” at the moment. Or is it?!? According to UsWeekly, Brad and Neri are just about rounding third on being a couple.
Nothing gets tongues and labias wagging quite like gossip about William Bradley Pitt’s post-divorce love life. People reports that the rumored relationship between William and Neri Oxman, the hot MIT Architecture professor, probably started back in November. And, hold on to your hats, pearls, horses, britches and wigs: They were photographed TOGETHER!