I guess people prefer their Madonna French kissing Britney Spears than blowing smoke up her own ass in the name of Aretha Franklin.
The Hollywood Reporter says that the VMAs drew its smallest audience for the second year in a row. Monday night’s show drew a little less than five million viewers across eight Viacom-owned channels. It also aired on TV Land because apparently someone in their marketing department thought replacing I Love Lucy for the night with Nicki Minaj humping something would be A-OK with Grammy and Grampy. Somehow, I doubt the memaws tuning in will drive up viewership to rid it of its curse ratings crown.
The previous record holder for the least-watched show was the 2017 VMAs, but they were able to blame that on Game Of Thrones airing at the same time. This year, it was just WWE and an NFL pre-season game.
I know I’m pushing 30, which is coffin-eligibility age in gay years, but I also think it maaaaay have had something to do with the performers, presenters and nominees. I’m not saying manipulate the votes, but maybe, just, maaaaaaybe people didn’t want to see Camila Cabello win Video of the Year (and blow smoke up Madge’s oddly taut-for-its-age ass) when Taylor Swift, Beyoncé and Jay-Z, Kanye West and honestly anyone else in the music industry had albums out that did better!
During Tiffany Haddish and Kevin Hart’s little monologue at the beginning of MTV VMAs on Monday night, she made a crack about the members of Fifth Harmony, who weren’t there, when talking about multiple-nominee and former Harmony Camila Cabello. Some people might have been laughing, but one of them wasn’t former Fifth Harmonizer Lauren Jauregui.
If y’all were hoping to see an Aretha Franklin tribute last night at the VMAs, erm, Madonna gave a long-ass speech in front of a photo of Aretha about her own career and how she once sang “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.” People got ripshit because Madge was Madge and made it all about her and not really at all about Aretha, but now Madonna has clapped back. Madge said that she wasn’t doing an Aretha tribute – if you want a real tribute, she needs at least a half-hour of cultural appropriation and self-promotion to really do the memorial justice!
When Michael Avenatti showed up to last night’s MTV VMAs, most people wondered why his ass was there. I mean, beyond just to be the DADDIEST of pieces of daddy eye candy. While Michael spends his days dragging Donald Trump through the mud on behalf of his client, Stormy Daniels, he also basically said the VMAs are a great way to connect with young-ass voters who don’t get their jollies off to the primetime lineup of MSNBC. Yes, he’s actually taking this presidential run seriously. Sadly, kicking off his campaign didn’t include a cameo in “Chun-Li” with Nicki Minaj.
Obviously nothing can ever top the legendary sequinned charisma of Lil’ Kim’s purple nipple cover at the 1999 MTV VMA’s, but that’s not nearly a good enough excuse for people not to try. An iconic look is like rolling dice; you might wear something that ends up in one of those Best Looks of ALL TIME galleries for the rest of the internet’s existence, or you might be just wearing clothing. Cardi B could have shocked eyes by showing up in big hair, a dramatic cape, and no pants, but – yawn – been there, done that. Instead, Cardi B made her first red carpet appearance since giving birth last month in a purple gown by Nicolas Jebran and a pussycat wig. Cardi is giving me eccentric Beverly Hills housewife at a charity gala trying to steal the spotlight from her rival Bitsy Saint Claire. Wait a second – rich, attention-getting, short dark hair, daughter’s name spelled with an unnecessary K? Kris Jenner must be so flattered right now.
Last night at the MTV VMAs, Jennifer Lopez received the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, a trophy presented to recognize an artist’s accomplishments in music videos. I’m surprised that it took so long for MTV to present JLo with the award, since I firmly believe that JLo’s pink velour short-short tracksuit ensemble in the video for “I’m Real” is about as iconic as Michael Jackson turning into a zombie in “Thriller.” Or maybe it is to me, considering it inspired my best friend to work an identical look nearly every day that same summer, despite the fact that she almost caught heatstroke twice from wearing so much velour.
JLo performed a medley of her hits and when she was done, she accepted her award by thanking everyone in her life, including her family and her “two little angels” Max and Emme. Then JLo thanked her boyfriend of about a year and a half, A-Rod. And much like any time JLo and A-Rod are near a photographer, she got cheesy.