Morning Wood

Lock up your rapey-eyed son, Tamra! Here comes The Real Housewives of Orange County’s newest gold digging blonde ho – E! Online

Gerard Butler needs to stop with the lie-telling! – Celebitchy

Neve Campbell will be back. Bitch needs a check – ICYDK

You would be crying too if your mother had a turkey’s ass on her head – Socialite Life

If Jo slaps Asshole Simpson in the mouth at least once, I’m okay with this – SOW

Remind me to never get pregnant – I’m Not Obsessed

Little Bunny Poo Poo – Holy Moly!

Morning Wood

The hottest vagina addict around takes his nipple for a dip – Popbytes

She-Douche and He-Douche leaving the Hollywood Bowl – ICYDK

Aw. Johnny Depp just wants to ride the rides without crazy fangirls trying to ride him – I’m Not Obsessed

Everybody hates Kara DioGoAwayAlready’s ugly song – SOW

Needs more CHICHIIIIIS – Moe Jackson

It sounds to me like David Beckham is hypnotized by St. Angie’s holy vagina. It’s got him tongue-tied! – Celebitchy

If you squint and believe, you might see George Clooney and Robert DeNiro on a yacht together – Holy Moly!

Jon Gosselin is not going to make your baby look like an a-hole….for now – Socialite Life

Morning Wood

Jon Gosselin’s 22-year-old (HA! and HA!) refined girlfriend is a perfect role model for his ten million kids. I’m being totally serious. Shit, bitch is my role model! – ONTD

Shiny happy topless people with iPhones – Pink is the New Blog

Ryan Gaycrest has become one of the richest queens on TV – ICYDK

Lady CaCa is actually looking sexy hot here – SOW

Another boy bander admits to having a taste for the peen. Wake me when one of the pieces from Color Me Badd comes out – Holy Moly!

There goes the neighborhood – I’m Not Obsessed

Not since Wolverine has a movie with a gay main character made this much money at the box office – Socialite Life

If Eva Longwhoria really wanted to turn us on, she’d tie up her lips with silk scarves – Celebitchy

Morning Wood

Boy George as M. Buttereverything- Holy Moly!

Kate Winslet is putting her breasts away for now – I’m Not Obsessed

Martha Dumptruck’s big comeback is not going to happen – Socialite Life

Whore Pit Viper on the cover of Marie Claire UK – ICYDK

The leech that was feeding on Brit Brit’s butt dingles for all those years has returned – Celebitchy

A son whores out his mom on the internet. Well, that’s a switch – Metro UK

James Franco’s rejected UCLA commencement speech – Funny or Die

Edward Furlong still exists and he’s getting a divorce – Popeater

Morning Wood

Madea’s next family reunion is going to be a lot more interesting – Queerty

Don’t ask Stepford Katie about thetans or barley water, because her hard drive will automatically shut down – ICYDK

This is lies upon lies! Basement Baby would never tell someone to stop taking pictures of her. The pap probably stopped on his own because he realized she wasn’t Orlando Jones – I’m Not Obsessed

Ronnie Wood is still banging his Russian mail order girlfriend – Holy Moly!

SHOCK! Sacha Baron Cohen does an interview as Sacha Baron Cohen – SOW

This picture from the very wet Harry Potter premiere would be a lot hotter if Hermione was MIA and DanRad and Rupert Grint were embracing each other nekkid – Celebitchy

RPattz auditioned for True Blood. Please tell me he auditioned for the role of Lafayette – Socialite Life

Don’t watch this if you’re a stripper or a fish….or if you have working eyes – Videogum

Morning Wood

Anti-Douchebag Collar Clips: The greatest invention since Go Girl – Buzzfeed

Sharon Stone is going to skin that flight attendant and wear her as a cape – Celebitchy

Pam Beesly is going to be a wifey – ICYDK

It won’t be long before Out of This World gets turned into a major motion picture and I can’t wait! – SOW

Kendra Wilkinson says she will be a strict Christian mother. Whore say what? – I’m Not Obsessed

Faces of meth – Socialite Life

Baby Huey is topless – Celebslam

Peaches Geldof admits the obvious – Holy Moly!

Taylor Momsen is starting young – The Bastardly