People says that almost one year into their marriage, Miranda Kerr has popped out the baby she made with her Snapchat billionaire husband Evan Spiegel. This is 35-year-old Miranda’s first child with 27-year-old Evan, and her second child overall (she shares 7-year-old Flynn with Orlando Bloom). Miranda and Evan released a statement to saying they had a baby boy in Los Angeles on Monday that they named Hart Spiegel.
“Words cannot explain how happy we are to welcome our beautiful son into our family. Miranda is doing well and Flynn is excited to be a big brother. Thank you for the kind words and wishes during this very special time.”
It’s still a little strange to me that the son of a Snapchat billionaire would be announced in a basic statement given to a weekly magazine and not in a series of snaps with a custom baby filter. Then again, maybe they chose People because they wanted to make sure people would actually see their baby announcement.
I’m sure you’re wondering where that name came from, like is Miranda secretly a huge fan of Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers. It’s actually a lot less exciting. A source says that Hart is named after Evan’s grandfather. That name is entirely too perfect when you consider Miranda’s first kid. Depending on where you’re from, Flynn and Hart might sound like a stunt plane team from the 40s or Brooks Brothers’ salesmen of the year, three years running. To me personally, it sounds like a bro-country duo who sing about finding love at a bonfire.
Six months have passed since Miranda Kerr married Snapchat billionaire Evan Spiegel in a shamefully understated ceremony for a billionaire. Miranda and Evan admitted they were waiting to have sex with each other until after they were hitched. For anyone who needed confirmation that it actually happened, here you go: Miranda is pregnant.
It might be Fashion Week in New York, but not for Miranda Kerr. In fact, you should be grateful she even showed up for your silly digital magazine’s fashion shoot, Net-a-Porter. Because People magazine says Miranda recently admitted during an interview with Net-a-Porter’s The Edit that she’s stepping back from modeling. And it’s all thanks to her GAZILLIONARE husband, Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel.
Miranda Kerr just gave a dismissive eye-roll to her normal salary as a top model. She’ll probably use those millions to paper her crafting room now that she’s married to Snapchat billionaire Evan Spiegel. She’s struck Silicon Valley gold!
Miranda, 34, and Evan, 26, were married yesterday at their home in Brentwood, CA. The ceremony was described by E! News as “small and intimate” and by People as “lavish and classy.” This means a small crowd (there were 40 guests) got an open bar with really top-shelf booze and definitely had scallops wrapped in bacon. Scallops wrapped in bacon as cocktail hour appetizers are the height of wedding opulence. To me, anyway. Continue reading
Louis Vuitton threw a party at the Louvre in Paris last night to celebrate their collaboration with Jeff Koons. Jeff Koons designed a line of tacky and hideous bags for them and you can see some of them here, but really, it just looks like the Louvre wiped its asshole with Louis Vuitton purses. The knock-offs are probably going to look better.
Louis Vuitton’s regulars, like Michelle Williams, Jennifer Connelly and Miranda Kerr, came out and so did Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston. After the party, Justin and Jennifer must have been planning to take a time machine back to the 90s to troll clubs for a third. Because they are giving me “90s swingers on a mission” hotness. They look like rejected Bret Easton Ellis characters.
Pulling off leather pants isn’t easy (and I mean that in more ways than one) and Justin isn’t doing it, but I’m still loving this look. Justin looks like that douche at the club whose got a thick cloud of Acqua di Gio following him and who tells the chicks that he’s an exotic car dealer when he’s really a salesman-in-training at a Hyundai dealership. The Roxbury Guys would look at him like, “What an asshole.”
Justin’s bulge isn’t as BOOM as it has been in the past, but it does sort of look like two small guinea pigs spooning in a trash bag.
I bet the line that Justin heard the most all night was, “I can’t wait to see you in paste pants later.”
And here’s more pictures from last night including Jennifer Connelly who covered herself with four layers of nope.
Miranda Kerr and billionaire CEO of Snapchat, Evan Spiegel, got engaged last July after dating since 2015. In the time that they’ve been together, Miranda’s vagine has never met Evan’s peen. Miranda, who has definitely fucked before (proof: the baby she made with Orlando Bloom), let the world know in an interview that she and Evan are doing it the Ciara and Russell Wilson way by waiting until marriage. Many of us are sluts around here, so that idea is completely lost on us. On a first date, we don’t even wait until the entrees are served. I know, look at me acting like our first dates happen at a restaurant instead of a motel that rents rooms by the hour. Continue reading