Category: Milo Ventimiglia

Isn’t This Illegal?

July 11, 2008 / Posted by:

31-year-old Milo Ventimiglia reportedly went engagement ring shopping for his 18-year-old honeytroll, Hayden Pantyairs. Ick. A source told OK! UK that Milo has his eye on a $200,000 diamond ring from Cartier. Since when does Cartier sell diamond baby rings?

Friends say that Milo is completely in love with the Pantyairs and can’t wait to settle down. I know she’s of age and everything, but this can’t be legal. She’s like forever 12-years-old. And I’m not a lawyer or anything, but isn’t it illegal to marry evil trolls?!

There’s no way he’s going to marry her. The Hollywood rule is that you marry after you get knocked up. Everyone knows that. Wait…..don’t tell me she’s got a baby troll in the oven? She’s going to pop out one of those troll doll pencil toppers.

This Must End

April 19, 2008 / Posted by:

Adrien Brody is slowly melting my tar heart by continuing to have a fraudulent relationship with that Elsa chick. I have nothing against the broad, but she better step off if she doesn’t want her face on a milk carton. That gorgeous Afghan Hound belongs to me and not her. The tattoo on my nalgas proves it. Not really, but if Adrien wanted me to ink my foreskin with his initials, I’d do it. Ugh, they are totally going to have beautiful Afghan Hound puppies together. Bringin’ on the heartbreak…

Here’s Adrien with homewrecker at a party for Conde Nasty Traveler in NYC on Thursday night. I’ve also added some Milo Ventimiglia, because I know you whores get sticky for him. Oh and this post would not be complete without Lady Miss Kier.

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