Try to say something nice. Well, er, it’s a look? The peacock tattoo is impressive? Cardi B and Offset appear to be getting along as a couple? The towering hair offsets (see what I did there?) Dracula’s fitted sheet nicely? Offset keeps his shoes shined like a gentleman? There might be a “I just want to sit the fuck down and put my swollen feet up” look on the mother-to-be’s face, but hey, she’s on the cover of Rolling Stone which used to mean something but there’s still a song about it so yay?
Keeping it positive here seemed imperative considering some of the comments on Rolling Stone’s post of this cover.
Folks are tough on Cardi B, so she should have just trolled her h8ers by smoking a cigarette in this pic while balancing an ashtray on her belly.
It’s been rumored for a while that celebrity tax analyst Cardi B is pregnant, and she confirmed it last night with an eye-roll triggering photoshoot backed by flowers on top of a car. No, she did it during her appearance on Saturday Night Live. Cardi’s album, Invasion of Privacy, dropped this week and the marketing plan was in full effect. The album dropping, that title, her pregnancy and her two performances on SNL accompanying the belly reveal came together with military-like precision. It would be cynical to suggest that someone got themselves knocked up just to increase their album sales. That would be more than military precision. That would be future therapy bills for Lil’ Cardi or Lil’ Offset. (Offset from the rap truo Migos is her fiance and the father of her impending tax credit.)
The nominations for the 60th Grammy awards were announced this morning, and Jay-Z led with eight nominations. I suppose you could say that Jay-Z is the Beyoncé of this year’s Grammys? Although she actually got one this year too, for Best Rap/Sung Performance. I’m sure it’s a big day in the Knowles Carter house. Congratulations on your Grammy nomination, Beyonce! And also, you know, good job on all the ones you got today too, Jay-Z.
To me, the song Bodak Yellow is Satan’s mating call to let us know he’ll be returning soon, and Cardi B is the glamorous mistress of evil doing her master’s bidding. Because that song makes absolutely no sense, but even mistresses of evil deserve love. And now with the announcement of Cardi B’s engagement to Offset from Migos I’m sure VH1 is already in talks with her on how they can make money off a marriage that will probably last about ten seconds longer than Offset’s career.
An awards show really isn’t an awards show until some kind of drama breaks out at the afterparty, and this honor goes to Migos and Chris Brown. I wonder if the court still thinks that Chris Brown doesn’t need violence prevention classes? Just wondering out loud here.
According to TMZ, Katy Perry’s upcoming single Bon Appétit has already made some of her fans feel sick to their stomachs, and it has nothing to do with imagining how gross it would be to receive a plate of fruit garnished with her severed head.