During the funeral for John McCain back in September, George W. Bush was seen pulling sweet Grandpa moves by sneaking a piece of candy to Michelle Obama, who was sitting beside him. Bush Jr. and Michelle recreated their funeral candy moment again today during the state funeral for Bush’s late father and former President, George H. W. Bush.
It happened after Bush Jr. and Laura Bush walked in and greeted the line-up of ex-Presidents (and Donald Trump) in the front row. Bush shook Trump’s hand, then Melania Trump’s, then Barack Obama, and when he got to his girl Michelle, he took her hand and palmed her a candy.
Former Pres. George W. Bush greets and shakes hands with each of the living presidents and first ladies at the funeral service for his father, George H.W. Bush. https://t.co/d0MoM1oMHy pic.twitter.com/pB9MleZk7J
— ABC News (@ABC) December 5, 2018
That’s enjoyable, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the dying inside look on Melania’s face after she realizes she got the “Aaaaand none for Gretchen Wieners” treatment. Speaking of dying inside, you know Trump was so pissed that he wasn’t given any special attention via pocket candy, and right after he got Hillary Clinton shade. I bet if he had his phone on him, he would have whipped it out and tweeted something bitter at Bush Jr. and Michelle for excluding him from their special club. “Whatever, I don’t need your sad candy. I’ve got my own, better candy. And yes I’m talking about an escort named Candy, and she’s petite, sweet, and very discreet.”
You know Michelle “Go High” Obama has Seen. Some. Shit. Tragically for us, she’s not a petty bitch like me and and that other one, so Michelle kept things professional in her memoir Becoming, which debuts today. Michelle sat down with Oprah Winfrey for Elle Magazine to discuss her book and life after The White House. In the interview, she touched on her working class upbringing, the sacrifices her parents made, her marriage to Barack Obama, and how she’ll never forgive Donald Trump and his birtherism for putting her family at risk.
All Of You And The Obamas Have Something In Common: You Weren’t Invited To Prince Hot Ginge’s Wedding
No, I am not including myself in that headline, because I got my authentic invitation in the mail, bitch!
But sadly for Barack and Michelle Obama, their mailbox didn’t get fucked by an invitation to the British royal wedding of May 2018 (I’m not going to say “British royal wedding of the year,” because Jodie Marsh could still marry someone this year). Although, neither did the mailbox of any other world leader, past or present.
It was Ellen DeGeneres’ 60th birthday on January 26, and the celebration episodes of her show air this week. She tweeted a photo of her posing with Michelle Obama and Jennifer Aniston yesterday, and I assumed that meant they’d spend an episode celebrating by reenacting an episode of Friends since Michelle seems like SUCH a Monica. Instead, we got to find out what was in that Tiffany’s box Melania Trump handed her on the front steps of the White House the day of Donald Trump’s inauguration.
In case your friends posting all over Instagram and Facebook this weekend about how Beyoncé changed their lives didn’t give you a hint, Queen B turned 36 yesterday. She managed to snatch the Labor Day focus off BBQ and summertime sadness, and onto herself for the highest holiday in the Beyhive’s calendar.
But Bey’s day wasn’t celebrated how us normal folks might do. We have happy hour margaritas and inevitable tears about accomplishing jack shit. Beyoncé has Michelle Obama dressing up in a Beyonce costume for an artistic photo shoot. Continue reading
The day after thousands of people took to the streets to protest against America’s future evil orange overlord, the hardened glob of lithium grease and Melania Trump toured the little DC pied-à-terre they’ll move into next year. As Melania strolled through the dusty old shack she’s been forced to downgrade to, she made an internal checklist of all of the things she’ll need to switch out with something gold, crystal or marble. Eventually her internal checklist got so big that she decided to chuck it and declare that bitch a tear-down. Melania will get her husband to use his pull to rip the White House of its landmark status, so they can bulldoze that shanty down and build a gold skyscraper palace fit for the Queen of the United States! No, she’s not going to do that. She’s going to keep everything, even her idol Michelle Obama’s sleepin’ pillow, which she’ll hug and sniff every night.