Alleged plastic surgery virgin and “Deadliest Vagina“ star Catherine Zeta-Jones was annoyed by some pics of her bikini-ed ass that the paparazzi took of her on Turkey Day vacation in Mexico. The Huffington Post reports that she promptly took that ass to her Instagram to show it off the RIGHT way.
During a Q&A at the Royal Drury Lane Theater in London on Sunday, Michael Douglas kiki’d with the audience about the health of his former co-star and celebrity recluse Val Kilmer. Michael spilled that the reason you haven’t heard much from Val lately is because he’s battling the same cancer (oral cancer) Michael had. Val isn’t too thrilled that Michael gave out personal details about his current situation, and he took to Facebook yesterday to let everyone know what’s up. According to Val, what’s up is that Michael Douglas doesn’t know shit-all about what he’s talking about.
Michael Douglas did “An Evening with Michael Douglas” at the Royal Drury Lane Theater in London last night, and he should’ve spent the entire evening describing in detail what it was like getting humped from the back by Matt Damon while wearing a polyester beaver on his head. But instead of doing that, Michael Douglas spent the evening talking about his career with host Jonathan Ross. When Michael talked about making 1996’s The Ghost and the Darkness, his fat mouth hole spilled out the news that his co-star Val Kilmer has tongue cancer and is in a bad way. “Not knowing that spilling someone’s medical situation isn’t a good idea” is probably a side effect of eating a lot of twat.
Back in 2009, the life of Michael Douglas’ son, Cameron Douglas, took a detour on Charlie Sheen Blvd. A then 30-year-old Cameron Douglas was arrested for selling meth. A week after he was arrested, the situation got worse for Cameron after his girlfriend attempted to smuggle a care package of heroin into the jail he was in. The next year, Cameron was sentenced to five years in jail for selling meth and he got an extra two years after he confessed to getting his girlfriend to smuggle drugs in. But Cameron’s time on the inside has come to an end. Page Six says Cameron, now 37, was recently released early from a jail in Maryland. He is currently living in a halfway house.
Page Six says that Cameron plans on writing a tell-all about being in jail. An Orange is the New Daddy’s Black Card, if you will. And it should be interesting, considering Cameron’s time in jail was kind of a scary mess. Cameron was accidentally exposed as a snitch by his therapist during a 2010 bail hearing, which prompted a crime-family captain to allegedly put a $100 bounty on his head. I guess someone got $100 deposited into their commissary account, because Cameron showed up to the jail hospital not too long after looking tore up and with a broken femur and finger (which he claims he broke playing handball in the yard). He was eventually moved to solitary confinement in 2012, where he lived until 2014.
Michael Douglas also talked about Cameron’s shitty life in jail after accepting an Emmy in 2013 for playing Liberace by saying that he wasn’t allowed to see his son until they released him from solitary. He also side-eyed the American prison system.
A source tells Page Six that Cameron’s tell-all will also tell-all about “his struggle being the son and grandson of Hollywood icons.” Obviously Cameron had a hard time growing up as Michael Douglas’ son. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone would be able to crawl out of the kind of shadow cast by your father starring with legendary Hollywood goddess Kathleen Turner in one of the most not-at-all cheesy adventures set to celluloid, The Jewel of the Nile.
This particular People cover doesn’t have anything to do with this post. I just want to know Kimmy Gibbler’s secrets now.
Following in the legendary footsteps of Arnetta the Moodsetta and the safety slide-utilizing Jet Blue flight attendant, People magazine reporter Sara Hammel quit her gig by spilling the tea on the magazine (and a couple of celebrities) in an e-mail blast on Monday.
Hammel’s resignation snatched at the wigs belonging to George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez and an unnamed Hollywood A-Lister who was such a perv to her that she wanted to stab him in the balls with her reportin’ pen. She also noted that Lt. Olivia Benson (the celebrity not the cat) rivals Claire Danes when it comes to the ugly-cry.
Just like Dustin Hoffman, Michael Douglas has serious thoughts about the current state of cinema. While Dustin Hoffman thinks that most movies nowadays have the artistic depth of a Michael Bay dry fart, Michael Douglas thinks that there’s something going on with American actors and actresses. Michael thinks that American actors need to stop trying to up their Twitter followers count and start taking some classes in acting and how to be manly, because the Brits and Aussies are getting all the American roles. When Michael Douglas sees a British actor at work, he clutches his shirt and declares, “Now THAT is an ack-tor!” When Michael Douglas sees an Australian actor at work, he clutches his crotch and declares, “Now THAT is a maaaaaaaaaan!”
While talking to The Independent about his new movie Ant-Man, Michael Douglas said that he co-signs some of what Dustin Hoffman said and agrees that all the great screen writers are running their asses off to pay cable, because they’re also allowed to produce shows there. But Michael thinks that a major problem is social media. If American actors were a rock hard boner, social media would be the Screech sex tape that brings them down and makes them go soft. Take it away, Masc Only Michael!
“There’s something going on with young American actors – both men and women – because the Brits and Australians are taking many of the best American roles from them. Clearly, it breaks down on two fronts. In Britain they take their training seriously while in the States we’re going through a sort of social media image conscious thing rather than formal training. Many actors are getting caught up in this image thing which is going on to affect their range.
With the Aussies, particularly with the males it’s the masculinity. In the US we have this relatively asexual or unisex area with sensitive young men and we don’t have many Channing Tatums or Chris Pratts, while the Aussies do. It’s a phenomena. There’s a crisis in young American actors right now. Everyone’s much more image conscious than they are about actually playing the part.“
Will somebody please get Michael Douglas a ticket to Magic Mike XXL so he can see an artistic piece of cinema filled with American manly mensez who could easily recite Shakespeare with the best of them? But really, so according to Michael Douglas, the Brits own the acting game and the Aussies own the manly game. So if you put them together, you’d have a Michael Douglas-approved super actor! Hmmm.. Well, I say that we should get Christian Bale and Chris Hemsworth to mate on camera and create an artistically-skilled manly actor. Come on, Christian and Chris. Do it for Michael Douglas and for the future of cinema!
Here’s MD with CZJ and their children at the Ant-Man premiere in London.