Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
At the start of this year, Michael Douglas publicly came out and claimed that a woman from his past was about to accuse him of sexual misconduct. His wife of 18 years and icon of the shamelessly gorgeous and rich Catherine Zeta-Jones now has something to say about that.
It’s a rite of passage in every young girl’s life. As one passes into her teenage years, it’s time for her to reflect and take stock of her life for the pages of Town & Country magazine. Carys Zeta Douglas, daughter of Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, has just crossed that milestone. It makes me so very nostalgic. I cast my memory back to when I turned 15 and did my T&C spread and remember what an exhilarating and liberating experience it was. Finally, somebody showed interest in my interests, which included trying to put Clan of The Cave Bears back in the exact same spot on the bookshelf so my mom wouldn’t know I was reading it for the dirty parts, and trying to give the dog a purple mohawk using colored hair mousse. Carys has acquitted herself with similar aplomb. In her spread, she revealed that she used to think her dad was a professional pancake maker.
Us homely-faced poors needs to stop feeling bad about not being stunning in the mug and having to put items back at the Target cash wrap area because our card got declined. There’s someone out there who has it much, much worse. Poor Catherine Zeta-Jones has had to go through life apologizing for taking breaths away with her beauty and causing temporarily blindness with the sparkle rays shooting off of her rich lady diamonds. But the days of having to be faux humble about her stunning looks and overflowing bank account are behind her. CZJ is keeping Stephanie Yellowhair’s legacy alive by saying, “Excuse my beauty…. and diamonds!”
When Catherine Zeta-Jones used the “On Awards Day, we all wear black!” movement at Sunday’s Golden Globes to don a black nightie of a dress to present an award with her father-in-law Kirk Douglas, many brought up the rumors that he raped Natalie Wood. Clearly CZJ’s husband Michael Douglas was paying attention, as he’s now out trying to avoid something similar and saying there’s an old employee trying to say he was very inappropriate with her back in the day. Continue reading
Alleged plastic surgery virgin and “Deadliest Vagina“ star Catherine Zeta-Jones was annoyed by some pics of her bikini-ed ass that the paparazzi took of her on Turkey Day vacation in Mexico. The Huffington Post reports that she promptly took that ass to her Instagram to show it off the RIGHT way.