Us homely-faced poors needs to stop feeling bad about not being stunning in the mug and having to put items back at the Target cash wrap area because our card got declined. There’s someone out there who has it much, much worse. Poor Catherine Zeta-Jones has had to go through life apologizing for taking breaths away with her beauty and causing temporarily blindness with the sparkle rays shooting off of her rich lady diamonds. But the days of having to be faux humble about her stunning looks and overflowing bank account are behind her. CZJ is keeping Stephanie Yellowhair’s legacy alive by saying, “Excuse my beauty…. and diamonds!”
When Catherine Zeta-Jones used the “On Awards Day, we all wear black!” movement at Sunday’s Golden Globes to don a black nightie of a dress to present an award with her father-in-law Kirk Douglas, many brought up the rumors that he raped Natalie Wood. Clearly CZJ’s husband Michael Douglas was paying attention, as he’s now out trying to avoid something similar and saying there’s an old employee trying to say he was very inappropriate with her back in the day. Continue reading
Alleged plastic surgery virgin and “Deadliest Vagina“ star Catherine Zeta-Jones was annoyed by some pics of her bikini-ed ass that the paparazzi took of her on Turkey Day vacation in Mexico. The Huffington Post reports that she promptly took that ass to her Instagram to show it off the RIGHT way.
During a Q&A at the Royal Drury Lane Theater in London on Sunday, Michael Douglas kiki’d with the audience about the health of his former co-star and celebrity recluse Val Kilmer. Michael spilled that the reason you haven’t heard much from Val lately is because he’s battling the same cancer (oral cancer) Michael had. Val isn’t too thrilled that Michael gave out personal details about his current situation, and he took to Facebook yesterday to let everyone know what’s up. According to Val, what’s up is that Michael Douglas doesn’t know shit-all about what he’s talking about.
Michael Douglas did “An Evening with Michael Douglas” at the Royal Drury Lane Theater in London last night, and he should’ve spent the entire evening describing in detail what it was like getting humped from the back by Matt Damon while wearing a polyester beaver on his head. But instead of doing that, Michael Douglas spent the evening talking about his career with host Jonathan Ross. When Michael talked about making 1996’s The Ghost and the Darkness, his fat mouth hole spilled out the news that his co-star Val Kilmer has tongue cancer and is in a bad way. “Not knowing that spilling someone’s medical situation isn’t a good idea” is probably a side effect of eating a lot of twat.
Back in 2009, the life of Michael Douglas’ son, Cameron Douglas, took a detour on Charlie Sheen Blvd. A then 30-year-old Cameron Douglas was arrested for selling meth. A week after he was arrested, the situation got worse for Cameron after his girlfriend attempted to smuggle a care package of heroin into the jail he was in. The next year, Cameron was sentenced to five years in jail for selling meth and he got an extra two years after he confessed to getting his girlfriend to smuggle drugs in. But Cameron’s time on the inside has come to an end. Page Six says Cameron, now 37, was recently released early from a jail in Maryland. He is currently living in a halfway house.
Page Six says that Cameron plans on writing a tell-all about being in jail. An Orange is the New Daddy’s Black Card, if you will. And it should be interesting, considering Cameron’s time in jail was kind of a scary mess. Cameron was accidentally exposed as a snitch by his therapist during a 2010 bail hearing, which prompted a crime-family captain to allegedly put a $100 bounty on his head. I guess someone got $100 deposited into their commissary account, because Cameron showed up to the jail hospital not too long after looking tore up and with a broken femur and finger (which he claims he broke playing handball in the yard). He was eventually moved to solitary confinement in 2012, where he lived until 2014.
Michael Douglas also talked about Cameron’s shitty life in jail after accepting an Emmy in 2013 for playing Liberace by saying that he wasn’t allowed to see his son until they released him from solitary. He also side-eyed the American prison system.
A source tells Page Six that Cameron’s tell-all will also tell-all about “his struggle being the son and grandson of Hollywood icons.” Obviously Cameron had a hard time growing up as Michael Douglas’ son. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone would be able to crawl out of the kind of shadow cast by your father starring with legendary Hollywood goddess Kathleen Turner in one of the most not-at-all cheesy adventures set to celluloid, The Jewel of the Nile.