Finally, Vanity Fair’s Secret Talent Theater has delivered some real talent!
All this time, hot weirdo Michael Shannon has been waiting in the wings of the Secret Talent Theater and pff-ting while watching Nicole Kidman eat bugs, Oprah scrub out dog shit from a carpet, and Laura Jeanne Poon teach southern slang. Because none of those are talents and he had a real talent up his sleeves, or up his nose I should say.
Before playing the piano, Michael fucks his nostrils with a bunch of coins. He plays for a bit before deciding that his nose isn’t stuffed with enough coins so he shoves more up in there. Michael’s fingers tickle those ivories for a second more and then the coins begin to fall out. He fucked his nose with a whole lot of coins. Michael’s got one slutty nose, and if those coins weren’t washed beforehand, then he’s got an extra slutty nose. I didn’t think I could love him even more.
Michael then pulls quarters, nickels and dimes out of his nose, and begins to count ’em up. After a random bird noise spooks him, he counts up a total of $2.10. Are we sure this was filmed specifically for Vanity Fair? Because this is probably how Michael Shannon spends a regular weeknight:
A few people who ain’t impress with that are Charlie Sheen and the Lohans. Because they’ve put thousands upon thousands of dollars up their nostrils at one time. Sure it was in powder form, but still!